at_anchor

PS: The recording from 2012 january first was not a mistake. I remember being there and recording myself without internet with my phone set at the wrong date, probably the earliest date this phone could come up with. So just to be clear on that. My phone does not make this kinds of errors. This was really set up and edited by someone. The dates were so arranged as to appear it is so close and tp confuse me and trick me. The other dates don't go this far behind but go into the future a couple of days, not the past! PS! sos

If I was any worse than them in any way but looks and intelligence, I'd tell you. This is not about what you think it is about. It ain't about justice. Spent the whole day here, meditated an hour. Realized that changing my family members behaviour and asking God in meditation what do I say to make her stop, or love me, it is like asking God for superpowers and the ability to go through walls by just saying "Open sesamy"

What do I do? I have to die basically. I don't want my destiny to be in the hands of dangerous people like these. It is not gonna end better than suicide now. I am sorry, but if there was anything I could do for anyone before I die, I would. Everyone from my point of view is in danger who was born here. Whether they will get in a lot of danger like me or not is up to the people who actually have this place. It is all theirs. Law is bullshit. There is no property you can have next to them if they don't want you to have it.

I am not lying. If I am not lying, then what I am saying about the dates being changed and recordings deleted and other stuff is true. That means people have had my phone in their hands and did this. Who? I don't know. I know who might have been behind it. When? I don't know. I didn't check my recordings for so long. Why? You know the answer to that. Selfish interest. They stand to lose something if I don't end up dead or judged as insane and liar.

i actually don't want to die which is why I am asking, but I do even if I actually do not exist because of my life being a hell of an experience with devils that hell envies.

i went to check the oldest recording I could find on my phone which dates to 2012. But I think I didn't even have this phone back then. Everything is in order except certain recordings. Okay, maybe that was a mistake of my phone, but why are recordings above with different dates?

i don't want these experiences in life.

anyway, for me an insane asylum sounds worse than jail. what do you think?

What's the point of living a life in jail or insane asylum and going through a court process where I am convicted for everything, even the things others are guilty for and those really guilty ones get away and live their lives free to the maximum degree, above law and everything. Yes they are. I am 100% certain. Someone did this. Someone did this. I don't know how and when but someone messed with it.

and a recordings date that was recorded on the same day was replaced with a date that is like weeks away

they are even attacking my phone and recordings

they edited it in such a way that they vut out parts of the recordings too, and also made the date appear to be recorded like my father was here on New years when this was recorded! This has gone far away. I am telling you these people want to put guilt on me for everything, including things I am not guilty for. If I show what was done to my head I suppose they will all pretend it is a lie and that i did it to myself. It is a crazy mindfuck, my life.

o my fucking God. they edited the dates of my recordings on my phone to confuse me and ruin the evidence. this is so fucking insane. if i die by my own hand, i just want to say that i was actually killed.

Read.

I'll be fine. Things at this point calmed down but it might get messy later again.

Exactly. I've been surrounded by terrible people my whole life and haven't even admited it to myself until it's too late now. Disgusting. Playing with my emotions, then with emotions of others around me and taking advantage, deviding and conquering. Disgusting. My traitorous and murderous father is the worst family member of all, but they all share something in common. How sophisticatingly he started to behave these days. In the past he would kick me on the ground and do terrible things to me with his hands in my own room. Now he plays a victim.

The criminal bastards are organized and connected with my internal family enemies, have regular communications with each other and together do stuff against me. All this to make me go insane and angry and if I say anything, like that they are gaslighting and harrassing and humiliating and trying to kill me basically, no one believes it. They think I'm insane.

Close to Germany

No way to get a job that is safe from their interferance and scams here and I have only so much money to go around. So I thought that getting high integrity doctors from Germany to check if I was poisoned or not and then a job there too is actually the only way to survive. No one here wants to mess with this organization, so even if someone wanted to give me a job, soon after they would have to play by their rules and make sure I lose it. The same thing with rent and moving away from home within the boundaries of this place.

My fucking family wants me all the worst and wants to hide the truth of its guilt towards me. It also behaves in narcissistic and criminal ways with stealing and lies. I know I shouldn't go against family, but even when I do I just get more put down and told how bad I am for saying anything. I simply cannot prove the lack of fucking love towards me from it throughout years and especially now. I want to get away from my family and society ruled by vicious monsters and criminals. I hate them. They are smart, but aweful.

@M A J I i don't understand what you are talking about. We might be our government, but there are classes and some have more power over others therefore they rule and can do to you whatever the heck they want. The people have the least amount of power all around the world and they are the easiest to mislead and corrupt so you can't really relly on them for defence from upper classes and elites which are literally trying to kill me or rob me of everything and humiliate and in the end torture me. I wish I died early on in life. Now there is so much attachment and i can see clearly the injustice that makes my passage away somewhat like that from Brave Heart or I don't know.

First we should answer if there even is life after death. If it is in the form of reincarnation where just some part of consciousness gets transfered into another body, then that's not good enough. I wish there was something like a judgement day or some place where the person becomes conscious and looks at every moment of every other persons life to see the truth and how they were fooled into living in falsehood. To see how it all came to be exactly as it was. But there is no such thing, is there? When someone you knoes dies, that person dies and the maybe the new incarnation is nothing like the person you knew before. Does it even matter what other people think? Yes it does to me. Not all people, but some people. You know, I'd at least hope that the truth comes out and into their awareness after death. Cause it matters to me that it does. I actually don't know if there is such a thing as a self, but the only differemce between us all might be simply our knowledge and experience. Nontheless, I feel like there are separate selves and I wish certain ones of those to live on and see the past clearly. I also want to look at the past after I die. So is it possible or not? I don't want to get reincarnated right after death in some new horrible life.

Am, I need at least land to grow food on and then that requires government. Government protects your health or it wants to literally destroy it if the wrong people are in power. Government is also responsible for protecting your land, or if the wrong people are in power then it could technically spray your garden with toxic stuff while you sleep and make sure you don't get the necessities you need. Then there is also internet and stuff you need but cannot have without government. Life is always connected to government wherever you are. American government for example goes after its citizens abroad to make sure they pay taxes even though they aren't working in the US. A better thing you could suggest is how do I free myself from a government that wants to kill me and torture me and become a citizen of one that doesn't.

I can't break free from government. I just need a good fucking job and that's all, as well as health, but I can't get that under this government. So yeah, I even dream when I get to sleep of having to basically die because of it.

No, it's not the end of the story. I can overcome it all of course by just living as long as people and nature allow me to live. But life will just get worse and I'll end up overcoming it all in like a 50 years when I'm dead. And then I might find out what is the real self you are talking about. I'm just wondering whether I should let go of the past and what happened in it and all that people have done and are guilty for but blame me or not. Stuff I detected and if I was in a position of authority I would gladly investigate.