Dunnel

Will this effect my meditation for the worse? Anyone here experienced downsides of taking meds and combining that with meditation?

I remember Leo once saying that "you" were basically the only thing that existed before the "big bang" or the illusion was created. What was then our conscious experience floating in nothingness. Nothing?

I want to thank all of you that tried to help, but I have had enough. Im posting this to see if some you can change my mind when I wake up tomorrow. Im not doing it now because its too dark. Sorry to put this pressure on some of you, but I really don't care anymore. I don't care about practical advise like exercise, meditation or diet. Give me a reason to live and I might consider staying. Sorry again for being a piece of shit.

A part of me still regrets that I just didn't make the jump.

@integral

@Bazooka Jesus True, nothing truly bad can happen to me. Its all imagination.

@Michael569No, but Im gonna try it. Nothing to lose anymore.

@Preety_IndiaThanks ❤️ lol. Looks delicious. . I hope you get better as well

@integralAll is well, my dude.

@integralIdunno, maybe this does help. I almost killed myself yesterday though so it just hurts extra when you look yourself in the mirror. Its also possible to say all this without being an asshole. But theres definately people that respond well to this. He might be one of them. I dont know him. You seem to. Whats super tricky about depression is that you know what you ought to do, so when people tell you to buckle up you feel like a piece of shit. Then you try to buckle up, and then you go back where you started and feel like an extra piece of shit. The only thing that really helped me is love. Its the strongest purpose for bearing any kind of suffering.

He told me that he was suicidal. Usually you want Love when you are in this state, not rational arguments. I would suggest stepping into his shoes, but if you would want that people harshly criticize you I can understand where you are coming from. I personally would have gotten more depressed getting messages like this. Reminds you of how cynical the world is. Makes you forget about Love.

@Rilles❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@integralare you trying to help this guy or make him kill himself? Jesus christ.

@nistakeThanks mate.

@OnecirrusI dont think sexuality in of itself is weakness, but you abusing your sexuality can be. I get you though. Have tried semen retention many times. Hardest thing in the world. You are probably sexually repressed. Should probably embrace your sexuality before you transmute it.

@BlackhawkInteresting. Dont wanna be in a psyche ward anymore though. I dont belong there. Thought I did.

@BlackhawkI wish you good luck, my friend.

@Natasha<3 @Someone here

@BlackhawkThats literally what I wanted, but they all insisted that I would get traumatized for life if I did so. Now I sort of get the point.

@Striving for moreyoure truly a man of wisdom

@Someone hereyeah im probably gonna get medicine and lots of therapy. I will be called tomorrow to discuss treatment plan. Probably staying at a place where you can sleep and get group therapy or something. Cant be home for too long or the same shit will happen.

I almost did it. Was on the mountain and about to do it, but called the ambulance instead. Gonna get help now. Thank you all.

Good news, guys. Not killing myself. Yippi.

@Blackhawkyeah its pretty high. If I survive though then ill probably give life another chance. I dont think it matters either way. Very liberating.

@BlackhawkThat will be the result of me jumping from the mountain. I obviously want to end with death.