Hi everyone,
I have been on the path to self actualizing for some time now. I have a computer science degree from one of the top 3 universities in my country but still am scared of the subject. Did not do very well at my university and graduated with an above average grade.
I graduated 3 years ago and have been fired from 2 of my jobs . I become very very anxious at the job and have difficulty thinking and getting my mind freshned up and thinking clearly. Every time I come across a roadblock, my mind starts running a 1000 miles and all my mind is consumed with a single question "How would I ever come out of this roadblock and how would i solve those problems?' I am all consumed by the problem but don't actually take any action and just keep browsing Not able to get my mind calmed down and think calmly about the solution. I miss deadlines, my routine gets spoiled and all of my interest just goes out of the window.
I have seen people with fewer grades than mine not being anxious and doing well in their jobs. I dont think my education and grades at my university are wholly responsible for this state.
Now, since i'm on a break , I'm practising coding by designing all of the common applications we use (Chatting Application, PasteBin, Twitter feeds and Facebook feeds). I have made some good progress and am proud of that. But recently , I have discovered some bad habits of mine and want to improve on them . While learning some topic 'X' , i understood that i had to learn another topic 'Y' and from there another topic 'Z'. I go to these rabbit holes one by one and when i dont get a very clear understanding of something, I just dont move to other topic (clinginess) and my mind wants to understand everything there is about a topic. I try to look up more and more materials about the topic and get overwhelmed by the amount of information i need to consume to understand something. After this, I just start wasting my time by browsing on my mobile phone without any objective and sometimes days are wasted.
. Due to this fact, i almost never meet deadlines and am almost always late. I'm a terrible planner . Is being clingy to a topic and not moving on and seeing the bigger picture without getting caught up in rabbit holes a sign of OCD ? I just watched a tutorial on how to let go by Leo and this has made my thinking a bit more clearer .
How do you guys cope with this, When you need to complete a project where you need to learn a lot of things and still submit your work?
I always think i need to learn more and more and i'm not ready for executing a project .
