Artemis
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Everything posted by Artemis
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The Thinking Girl's Guide to the Right Guy by Joanne Davila and Kaycee Lashman. Literally the next best thing to taking a class on how to date as a woman. I cannot recommend it enough.
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- psychology
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I wonder, does Leo do private coaching? Maybe you need a self-actualization coach or something like that.
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Sounds like you haven't really thought about it and you have a lot of self-work to do Like I said, an itemized list of what you need for yourself to be happy. Not what someone else needs to have. Another person cannot make you happy. And anyway, saying "the right woman" doesn't really explain much. Sounds like that's where your journey needs to start. By defining what your needs actually are. Example: Do you need patience, compassion, understanding, a good listener, open-minded, words of encouragement/affirmations? You want someone you can trust; why don't you feel you can trust people? You know, the 5 love languages book, that's a good one to check out. Things like that, you need to really go deep and define what your own values are. You can't expect someone to give you what you want and how you want it if you don't really know what it is you're looking for. Trust can be defined by so many actions/words. It makes no sense to put the burden of finding your own happiness on someone else. Take responsibility for your own issues.
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Can you define what this "happiness" you are looking for entails? Like an itemized list of needs that you have that weren't met when you were a child. I mean how can someone you've not met yet give you something you've lacked since childhood? In order for that to happen they would have to practically become your life-long therapist, not your companion. And where's the fun in that? You really have to think about what it was that you were lacking and then give those things to yourself. On an ongoing basis. Becoming whole means knowing how to identify your needs and then replenishing what's lacking when needed. A stranger has no way of knowing what those things are or how to do it just for you, so you'd always be looking for something that simply cannot be. Yes, you have to accept yourself more, but you have control and power to change somethings and grow. You really have to figure out who you are in detail in order to accept you as you are. And then acceptance will spill over into your relationships that way.
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Personally I don't think that one method will be applicable to every kind of book you read, simply because every book has a different goal in mind and each author had a specific type of takeaway intended for their readers. Some books require lots of note-taking while others require minimal, if any. I would recommend you read "How To Read a Book" by Mortimer Adler and Charles van Doren. I found it really helpful in learing how to approach a book based on the type it is and what to expect or not to expect from my experience. It also covers what type of questions to ask yourself when reading.