Preetom

@Nahm I had a constant big smile while reading your post. Thank you, Sir! Hope this life gives you infinitely more abundance and the ability to share it with all

@Max_V I can relate with this kind of experiences as well. Mindfulness practices wake me up from the 'auto pilot' mode everyday from time to time. And then I instantly recognize how rude I was to someone, eating like a monster, carrying heavy thought/emotion etc. I think to myself, "Man, when did I become such a ruthless animal? Without meta awareness I wonder how long I've been living like this"

@Outer Absolutely!! It's very eye opening when we glimpse that we are all into this together!

"The 21st century illiterate will be the one who can't learn, unlearn and relearn" This quote struck me big time. I guess with self actualization/enlightenment thing, we are doing exactly this. Becoming aware of conditioning then unwiring it and finally rewiring to learn to live basically the same life from the scratch...with baby steps...from a radical new place.

I've found sort of similar issues in me. 2 things: 1) When I feel good or have sexual arousal etc. I feel somewhat guilty and afraid of feeling good. It's probably due to my limiting belief that feeling good is somehow bad and I'll lose myself in that pleasure cycle followed by the vicious cycle of depression and lowest of lows (As I've indulged in pleasure and experienced it before many times! freaking story of my life in a nutshell ) 2) When I get excited about a work/vision/project, very quickly I sabotage myself with unrealistic fantasies, addiction to results and perfectionism. @arsha All these things including your problem are results of limiting beliefs, mis-perception and never actually questioning the default mode of reacting and seeing through whats actually true. On top of that there may be unhealthy diet, poor physical vitality, thinking, porn, other addictions, sleep pattern etc issues that are reinforcing and holding this pattern in your life. There is no temporary solution of anxiety. It feels like shit. You really have to re-examine your life and specifically work through the things that are responsible for your problem. No easy way out! All the best

1)Half assed nihilism/meaninglessness 2) Short-sightedness and not taking full responsibility 3) Setting no core values to live by (It's all meaningless anyway. lets just watch TV) 4) Unreal fantasies about awakening 5) Not engaging in human relationships (fear of rocking the boat). Avoiding life these are just a few to list.

@Random User Hey brother! I had and still occasionally have almost every setback you've listed and more. I highly recommend you to read the book "Shift Into Freedom" by Loch Kelly. The essence of this book is that all the uncomfortable feelings(thought, limiting beliefs, emotions, difficult situations, emotional outbreaks etc) that our identity comes accross, the only resourceful way to face and deal with them is at first shifting your state of consciousness. Then go deal with them. This book contains dozens of "glimpse practices" you can choose from that works for you best and do them multiple times a day. The cool thing is they produce that flick of light or a shift just like @S33K3R described in a few moments without meditating for hours. Then from that surrendered state you can deal with all your issues and distractions in a lot resourceful way. A second technique I wanna share is from Bentinho Massaro. Take one deep breath. Then as you release, you also intentionally release all your mental tension and thought. Just for 2 to 5 seconds. And that's it. You then return to whatever you were doing. Do this thing at least 12 times a day. Please understand that I'm not an expert. I am actually a beginner who found these techniques very helpful after couple of years of seeking and backsliding. And do Leo's concentration practice for 10 minutes and then immediately do 20 minutes meditation in the morning after waking up. You see, for newbies like us who are stuck in a rut for a long time, It's more important to take 1-2 minutes and intentionally shift, let go, see clearly for dozens of times a day rather than just meditating for hours. Our monkey mind has so much momentum that it needs to be stopped every half an hour through glimpse practices or else it takes over us and drives us nuts! I wish to hear from you about your progress. Remember that "the thing" in you that faces any uncomfortable situation can't really overcome it because that very thing is responsible for it in the first place. You must shift. A light is turned on. A new state of consciousness emerges and then you can open up/accept/practice/introspect/deal with it from a new perspective. All the best on your journey.

@ajasatya What motivates you to live every single day? Do you have a particular set of values? And about your transformation, is it something you feel totally complete or is it blooming into new territories as days go by? P.S: Can you please start a journal here in this forum where you will share your insights regularly?(1-3 times a week would be fine) Stuff like what was your previous perception of reality and how it has transformed now. Any tips, suggestion would be nice. As a fellow guy trying to go mindful 24/7, it would help a lot for me and others I'm sure. Just a few hours of mindfulness this morning revealed to me how gentle and soft our emotional health is. and how we abuse it unknowingly all the time and been probably doing it for decades

@Dan Arnautu Do It man!! I myself have been playing guitar pretty seriously for 7 years. Been in tons of pitfalls multiple times over this journey. I wish I had a big picture understanding from beginning. Some points I am noting here that you can consider bringing into your teaching if you find it appropriate. 1) The psychology of playing music (and musical instrument). Most teachers deal with theory, technique just all the outer aspects. 2) Importance of big picture vision and strategy in music 3) Balance, Physical health and healthy posture ( Man...So many people suffer just on this one) 4) Making music not just a career or hobby but making it an integral part of living itself. Letting the whole life blossom in phenomenal artistry and mastery. 5) Importance of solitude, meditation. Sources of fresh and unique creativity 6) The fine line between mastery vs perfectionism. The fine line between creative input vs getting lost in mindless entertainment. 7) Open mindedness. the importance of perceiving new cultures, music, nature etc. 8) Friendships and a spirit of collaboration. How to deal with people All the best for your journey ahead

@Ritu Thanks a lot for your concern Never thought this many people will actually come forward to help me. I'm going through 4+ hours of meditation/contemplation for the next 3 months starting today. You see I've accumulated so much self actualization/spiritual theories and concepts for over 2-3 years that now for me they all feel very shallow and toxic just because I've haven't really grounded them in my direct experience. That's why my plan is to meditate and reflect non stop on everything I've gathered so far and taking lines like, "Believe in yourself", "There is no competition", "Anything is possible" etc that have become cliche and meaningless for me and contemplate/ground them in my direct experience. Sort of like a gut level opening up and realizing the truth and power of these concepts in first hand experience. I'll update my progress after 3 months Have a nice day, Sir!

Meditation, awareness, self actualization have made me aware of 2 critical things about me so far. 1) All my nasty self destructive behaviors 2) Unreal daydreaming + crippling self esteem In this thread I wanna know more about the 2nd point. The thing is, my default limiting belief is that somehow I feel very weak and under equipped for this life. I feel I don't have the necessary resources and skills in me. As a 23 years old, I almost completing my civil engg. bachelor degree and soon gonna enter the job market. This phantom low self worth makes me question what contribution can I really offer from this weak state and this is creating a background fear thats growing everyday. On the other hand, everytime I decide to do something or maybe even randomly I daydream about being this worldclass and better than everyone artist, athlete, intellect, cook and what not! I daydream that my skills are so unique and outclassed by all others that everyone is acknowledging and praising me in complete awe. The content of the daydreaming is different but the structure is same." I have become this extraordinary man that everyone is in awe about me and they all wanna be like me"- this is the default structure. Then I come back to present moment and find that crippling lack and end the whole session with bunch of self defeating affirmations. This eventually builds up and heads to a series of self destructive behaviors and self indulgence ( A retreat to hell!!) and I am left alone dead tired and frustrated. My question is what is the criteria of a healthy vision? The vision or the end result is supposed to inspire the means. What sort of action step or question set can I inquire to free myself from this dilemma permanently? How to live a good life and 'know' at a gut level that I am living a good life so that I don't have to convince myself with these cheap, self sabotaging visions and self talks? Any wisdom, books, videos, other threads suggestions are welcome. Thanks in advance for reading on this long

Thanks a lot everyone for replying from your experiences. One thing is getting more and more clear is that there is really no shortcut in this work. I've been doing everything other than facing myself for so long. Almost to a point of threshold. I've been a workaholic student, musician for most of life and produced good results through them while still beating myself for more efficiency. But over a year now my motivation has dropped after realizing how selfish and unsustainable it really is. So now i feel it's impossible for me to pretend that nothing has happened and get back to that short sighted workaholic and daydreaming state. For about 2 years I've been strolling back and forth with dozens of books, techniques, meditations, self help videos but still haven't made a permanent breakthrough mostly because they were stopped before having a significant impact on me while going back and forth to all my addictions and neurosis parallelly. I feel like my awareness and dysfunction is raising at the same time. At times I feel so anxious and fearful that it feels like something is gonna burst out of my chest. I am gonna take every single suggestions presented here to consideration. Thanks again everyone for helping me out! @Shin My meditation routine is 15 minutes of concentration practice followed by 45 minutes of mindfulness with labeling. Being present ALL THE TIME throughout the day is something I am considering very recently. I can sense almost all of my negative affirmations, daydreaming, additive urges but soon give in to them. I have decided to meditate/inquire/contemplate 4+ hours for next 3 months starting from tomorrow. I really need to break free this boredom/miserable barrier.

@TJ Reeves Beautiful insight!! Thanks so much for the good work, sir!

Another observation is that I find myself unable to enjoy something in a healthy manner most of the time. For example, when I am listening to a good song, my monkey mind must create this glorified image that I made that song and everyone is praising me for that. This happens with many things I find attractive and inspiring in my daily life. What sort of neurosis is this?

Yeah I guess. The default drivers for humans are immediate comfort, security etc. which very quickly become self destructive behaviors. In my own experience I'm starting to see that 90% of what I do everyday (or maybe even more) is just noise and self created suffering. There are a lot healthier ways to deal with the same life situation. Even when doing so called "good" things like meditation, exercising etc its very easy to lose the fine balance and unconsciously dive into the self destructive or self sabotaging behaviors and eventually collapse and get beat down.

@ajasatya I just improvised over a Andy James Backing track. I love Intervals music as well.

@ajasatya I just checked out your youtube channel. Good to find a fellow guitarist in this forum Your dancing is cool too

A bedroom guitarist. Playing since 2010. This one practice made me to ask and investigate about various things in life which otherwise would be unexplored

@Salaam I like how you put it. Thanks

What if you were born and there was not even a single trace of any 'religion' in this whole world. What would your own life and your surroundings be like? what could be the state of the world? Or is it just hard wired in humankind to follow a religion or cause by default?

I wanna know about the validity of them as well. Someone who seriously and consistently went down this line of work please share with us your experience please.

@Nahm Yes I think you are right in this regard. Lots of religious people tend to avoid taking a bold/dangerous action in their lives due to their unquestioned, hidden obligation towards religion. but for me I feel I would never be able to have an authentic relationship with my family and relatives due to countless unquestioned religious assumptions. Even in me, I feel like being split in half due to hardwired religion taught from childhood and no actual experience backing it all up.

@Loreena Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Take care

I'm a 23 years old university student. I have pretty much abused almost every source of temporary pleasures/highs/cheap thrills except from hardcore drugs. To a point where now I find all these pleasures (30 ways society fucks you in the ass) absolutely hollow. They carry no genuine interest or meaning in me. Just the raw bodily pleasure exist from purely physiological addiction/mechanicalness. And I can't even imagine making a good life for the next 50 years, working hard just to keep these pleasure substances as the target and ultimately indulging in the same shit. Hell NO! This can't motivate me to wake up in the morning. My question is how realistic is it to make one'e sole intention and goal of life developing and nurturing Mindfulness 24/7 regardless of situations and periods of life by making it the PRIMARY purpose and everything else being secondary. With Mindfulness, I am also talking about some byproducts like emotional mastery, slow deliberate healthy body movement and stance, lifestyle minimalism etc. I would like to hear some expert opinions and personal experiences from those who have actually lived in this condition for 6 months/1 or more years. Your answer will be very much appreciated and will help a fellow guy trapped in between divinity and being a lost soul. If there are any discussions/forums/videos especially on this topic please do share. Looking forward to some reply. Thanks in advance

@ajasatya Thanks a lot for your kind and genuine response. I will try heart and soul to follow your directions. I've been practicing mindfulness through meditation (1 hour, 5/6 times a week) for about 6 months. The only realization and 1st hand experience I've had is understanding how much I am unnecessarily suffering all throughout the day and how it all stems from my thinking patterns, decisions, interpretation and response. And the surprising thing is, it is all considered "normal and healthy" in everyone around me. Also I am not interested in building a spiritual life for explosive sensations, temporary highs anymore. I want permanent transformation and life mastery 24/7. Thanks again for your kind reply. I think the value you are providing here is immeasurable. If I can really develop permanent goodwill, then any goodness that will come through me, will be due to a sincere contribution you made today. I wish you all the richness of life. Take care you good sir.