Preetom

Agreed. Being in the present moment consciously makes lots of heavy sensation bubble up. I feel surges of dense sensations in chest and head whenever I consciously tune into the now. It's uncomfortable. Like really. But that's present moment for you so..

@Ero Give it some thought. A batman movie is being played on a screen. In this metaphor, the screen is the unchanging, absolute reality (pure consciousness) and the movie is the content (appearance without any substance of it's own). Like it or not, you are the screen. Not the batman movie. No matter how much you imagine and obsess about batman, you never become batman. You can never become batman because there is no such thing as batman. There can be no such thing as batman. See the twist here? So no matter how much you try to wrap your brain around batman, at the end of the day it's all insubstantial hallucination. At no point, the screen becomes something else. So where is your 'free will'? Does the screen have the free will to permanently become batman? No. It can only dream up this fantasy, all the while remaining what it is. Now bring it all in your direct experience. Complete Enlightenment may take time and lots of deconditioning. But right now you can have a taste. Get the feeling in your experience that honestly feels like you. Try to pinpoint it. Then ask yourself, ''What is it that knows this experience?'' and see what happens to your attention. Right in that moment, you are taking your stance as awareness. Being aware of being aware. Now explore the qualities of awareness(if it has any) from this place. Here, the mind is absent/insignificant. You can't ask mind because mind has already made up it's mind . Take your stance as awareness and explore it's own experience. If you ask Awareness about free will, it will remain silent like the screen. But if you ask the mind about free will, of course it will claim to have free will. Just like batman would claim, '' You kidding me motherfuka? I'm Bruce wayne, the king of kings'' See the plot here? If you seriously want to consider about Enlightenment, you need to cease the obsession towards phenomena/mind at one point or another. It can't be any other way. You can't translate Awareness's own intimate 'experience' of being in mind's language. If you persist, then soon this place will have another zen devil named @Ero. This is what zen devilry is. Separate self/mind using or distorting non dual truths to meet it's own agenda. Zen Devilry = Pure Consciousness translated into mind's language and 'believed'

@SoonHei I watched a Rupert Spira video where he says that if you legitimately feel like a separate self with free will, then that IS your present experience and it is better to acknowledge your present situation. It is a lot better to 'use' that free will to inquire into that self instead of parroting non dual truths like ''there is no doer, there is nothing to do, there is no free will''. It is no different that hearsay. We already believe A LOT of things on hearsay like we were born, we are human, there is an external material world etc. This attitude is what he calls the religion of non duality. That made a whole lot of sense for me haha

@SoonHei Interesting post. I agree one thing with you. 2nd hand knowledge doesn't help at all. The truth about free will (or anything) needs to be seen with one's own clarity. It only makes the trap deeper if sages try to shove it down one's throat.

Is that under my control whether the dream should continue or not? After all, I never seem to control dreams at night time. What arrogance makes me think I can control it while being awake?

@Samra Anything that is perceivable or conceivable is not You. All this attempt to figure out stuff and rationalize; inquire into what is it exactly that is trying hard to figure out stuff. Aren't you already you? After coming across this concept of 'anthropomorphic', lots of imaginary tail chasing have reduced for me. This part of the following video explains it beautifully

@Charlotte Just give this statement some thought. In the end, no one can make you do anything. Your very tendencies will take wings towards their destinations. ''I was reading something by Sri Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi this morning. Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj is my guru, and Ramana is my spiritual godfather. They are both excellent dispensers of sound advice. And the primary advice both of them give us over and over and over again is “Wake up!” If you want to fix the world, first wake up and find out if it really needs fixing. If you want to relieve the world’s suffering, first wake up and find out if there really is suffering. And on and on and on. Don’t point your finger at what needs changing outside; turn your attention around and see what’s not changing inside.'' Quotes are taken from Fred Davis's Blog

It was like a flashback. As if I was in it as a memory. It felt like it communicated the obvious. After the session, I looked around and thought, '' So this is what all this is huh? a magical circus''

During self inquiry few days ago, I witnessed a spontaneous vision. It felt like a trip I was lured in and then got out when it was finished. Phase 1: A little boy is in a huge circus hall. He is completely alone. In the stage, magnificent circus is being played on it's own. There is no controller behind any of this. Just magical stuff exercising mindblowing magic all over the place. That little boy is God. He is so alone that he created this circus so he could watch it. Phase 2: A sudden shift happens. Actually that little boy is not in the audience, separate from the circus as a mere spectator. He is inside the circus and the whole play is happening around him. Actually it is HE that is being played. There is absolutely nothing else Phase 3: It all ended with a feeling that felt like it was my own memory of myself. That little boy was me all along. The end. Note: None of this was my conscious imagination. It came to me. I guess this is what channelers and new age people call 'downloads'

''The path to Truth, or Reality, or Essence is very simple: It requires a Selfish man, an individualist not afraid of the annihilation of individualism, a fearless man not afraid of powers within him that are much greater than himself, and a man of suicidal relentlessness once his commitment is given. All that is necessary to find the Truth is an unconditional commitment—not putting a time upon the commitment nor a greater value on any other desires or fears. If a person sincerely makes a commitment he automatically becomes a vector in a sure direction. But if we wish to see the commitment become an Absolute result in this lifetime, we must be conscious of our limited time, and of ways and means to expedite the realization. All energies must give priority to the vector. Every hour must be used in a way to expedite the success. So that as soon as the general commitment is made, we should immediately commit our energies which are generally used for anger or pleasure so that transmutation will bring Intuition. The voice of Intuition will be our most valuable teacher. It will furnish all future planning for the campaign. But do not rest. Make violent efforts but do not disturb the sleepers.'' — From The Direct Mind Experience by Richard Rose

@Shin Have you ever spontaneously started self inquiry in dreams? It's some crazy mindblowing shit. It happened to me once. It felt like I was drowning in a bottomless sea of pure Consciousness. Yes it's nothing, yet it was so full

@Revolutionary Think That's Masculine compassion. As I watch Leo's videos regularly every week, I've noticed this flow in him. For few months he would be in this mood, constantly nagging to our ears. Then next few months, it would be more of a feminine compassion where his tone would be much surrendered. He does the same thing with video topics as well. Today he is glorifying spirituality. Next week he might shit on it by presenting a stage orange hardcore chase and grab type video just so his viewers don't get complacent and stuck in a particular rigid paradigm. After the 30 days break, his swings and shifts have become more frequent and less predictable.

@kieranperez Thank you. Will check him out

Unprejudiced observation

Take your time and watch this. Take notes. Multiple times if necessary until it soaks in. This one video..I felt like everything that I've collected for the last 4-5 years in bits and pieces through tremendous ups and downs and through sheer luck sometimes; all of it so beautifully explained in a structured manner. This is probably the biggest picture model about Enlightenment you'll find. You may watch other videos from the same channel if it resonates with you. So many things covered. I still can't believe this content is just lying there for free.

Attaboy!! Welcome this knowing more and more persistently. Pervade your entire life with this knowing. Another helpful pointer I got from Adyashanti. The feeling of 'I' or ego or this self referential activity that happens to us most of the time, it is just one function of the mind out of many. Just like there are other functions of the mind like planning, memory, decision making, imagination etc. But you don't generally make separate identities out of each of these functions like the memory holder, the planner, the decision maker right? Treat the ego feeling of being located as a mind function as well. There is no need to get obsessed or identified with it. If you feel being trapped in a body, just know that you're the knower who knows this feeling. You got nothing to do with the coming and going of this feeling. No need to get all concerned and serious over any object. Almost every verse of Ashtavakra Gita ends with this line, '' You are Awareness. Be happy''. I wish you that non objective happiness. Being aware of being aware

And here you are, too lazy to spell lazy correctly lol

@Shin This forum gets so hard and messy to use in a mobile device, right?

And yet we have to talk. Or else there is no possibility in the first place. The best way all talks can serve, is by deconstruction. It becomes a trap when language is used to construct things and believing in them as objective truths.

All the good self actualization books, gurus, practices; where are they really pointing towards? Superficially, it seems like they are promising all the goodies like more money, lovers, fame, success, enlightenment etc. but to what end? Earning millions of dollars to earn more millions? Having a good love life..to what? better health to what? better personality to what? You get the idea I hope. There comes a point; and it comes soon if you're honestly looking. The end goal becomes the Force itself, not the 'activity' of the Force! For example, the real reason to learn to be abundant is not to earn millions after millions but to FEEL and SOAK in that abundance irrespective of money. The shy kid who's working his ass off on self esteem and fighting loneliness, his end is not to make 100 friends or manipulating every person that he comes across but to be so grounded and authentic that he enjoys healthy self esteem 24/7 irrespective of people and circumstances. The seeker who is being aware; what's the point of being aware? The point of being aware is to be AWARE. Not to be aware of objects What's the point of love? The end goal of love is not to love a particular object or person. But to drown in the sea of love itself! So I guess you get what I'm trying to say. The point of the Force is to live in the Force, not the activity of the Force. Thus it all goes full circle and completes the perfect strange loop. What else could you expect from this wacky loopy Reality? The point of Reality is to be itself. What else could it do? But the gurus rarely talk this openly. They use all the goodies and flashy baits to reel the seekers in. Feel free to express your contemplation along these lines

@Shin thanks for this post. It reminds me of something I read in a Rupert Spira book. The moth that rushes towards the flame can never get the flame. It can only die in the flame. Likewise, the mind can never find happiness. The mind can only die in happiness. So that means there is no possibility of true, authentic happiness without the death of mind

@Solace hope 'you' never come back

This just shows that your search is not over yet. Nothing wrong with that. No need to call off the search prematurely. The search must die out on it's own. I remember the videos where Leo interviewed Peter Ralston. At that time, Leo was a spiritual noob (no offence ). He asked Peter at one point what if there are higher order Realities after transcending this one. Peter just stared back with a dumbfounded look probably thinking what is this guy smoking? After few seconds he just replied, '' The Absolute is Absolute''

If eyes are the windows of our soul, then this pair is portal to the Absolute