Preetom

If I die, I die on self-inquiry salt mine. Everything is too unraveled to get back to it's previous state

For the last few months, I'm feeling a heavy sensation(anxiety symptom) in my chest for over 10 hours a day. It's really an uncomfortable feeling and it does feels like this sensation is somehow killing me bit by bit, or maybe even get a heart attack for christ's sake, But kinda got used to it now. Plus there is nowhere else to go. The daily distracting mechanisms don't really work more than few minutes as well so.. I have no idea if it's some phase where emotional purging is happening or whether this sensation has nested inside my chest forever

@Shin 1) Sit down with your pen and paper during one of these attacks. Sitting meditation won't do. 2) Set your intent and be super focused to genuinely find out what is it in you, that is actually being harmed or damaged by this panic attack. 3) Do not give up until your genuine intent exhausts itself. Look at every element of your present experience from thoughts, sensations so on and so forth..can you locate the one that is dying? Don't just reason in your head. Actually write down the key points of how your investigation is going on. This will help you a lot to stay focused and not be distracted inside the head. 4) Maybe share your experience with us later

By 'smart people' I think he meant mostly orange and above rational people who are interested in using their logic and rationality to take a fresh look at the topic of God again. Not people with an already placed firm belief about God and not even interested to entertain any alternative idea.

These are conventional human perceptions because you take yourself to be a human subject. If you had an ant ego, your perception of this very placeless place would be something completely different. Ego and it's creation/perception arise simultaneously

but...but I was promised a personal paradise where dozens of hoes are waiting for me

The conventional idea of death is a folly. What is it that really dies? The body? But isn't this flesh doll already dead? What is conventionally regarded as death ain't death at all. The only way to understand the full import of the word death is to wake up.

''Sometimes I sits and thinks. Sometimes I just sits''

The cancer of orange materialism probably won't banish without a serious physical/psychological mass crisis. Just like it took world wars to grow out of red and blue.

They consciously/unconsciously separated themselves out as individual subjects and thus started to know a distinct object for the first time. That was the first fall. Adam and Eve are literally the parents of all egos aka objective knowledge! Mind=blown

Notice how you framed this. A confusion is here because you are still seeing a distinction between us and ''your consciousness''. As long as there is consciousness ''of something'', so long this nagging paradox will seem unresolvable. Notice that there is no 'something' you can separate out and point towards.

Recognizing and establishing the primacy of Awareness

The battle of psychics

are you a psychic?

Yes it is! I'm awe-inspired again and again how things come into pieces from all angles in this direct path. Surrender(Real bhakti yoga) and Self-Inquiry(Jnana yoga) are 2 names for the same 'practice' of being. The Prema (Dissolution into absolute love) you get from surrender and the Jnana(self-realization) you get from self-inquiry are one and the same outcome. Self-inquiry chases that knowledge with which everything is known to the Source. That Jnana itself is refracted through the ego as subject-object dualistic knowledge. While Bhakti is unconditional surrender that takes us to the Source of that unquestionable love we have for our own self, the bliss of our Self. That Love itself is similarly refracted through the ego as our constant sense of lack and subsequent search of happiness outside of ourselves.

Where is my cookie?

@MM1988 One is surrendering oneself to a higher entity but yet can't surrender the silly stuff they can asking/begging? That's like the ego has come back through the back door lol The true Bhakti yoga is not adoration for an external entity but to inquire into the unquestionable, primal love one feels for oneself. It's about following that self-love to it's source. Asking for stuff to God is spiritual materialism. The first rule of Bhakti yoga is to cut that shit. There is no bhakti yoga before that. Just like there is no Jnana Yoga(self-inquiry) until one isn't open to investigate the possibility that he/she might not be the body-mind. By this point, prayer and meditation are merged without any distinction whatsoever. The highest prayer=The highest meditation=Being aware of being aware=Being=I AM

The unfortunate irony of these studies and models is that they don't recognize the futility of trying to explain a 1st order reality with a 2nd order reality. It's like my character in my dream (let's name him Joe) frantically searching for the place and time of origin of the world he finds himself in; without realizing that the very concepts of time and space are 2nd order of projections of his own overmind. 1) Scientists study brain waves and deludes themselves into thinking that they are studying Consciousness 2) Scientists studying and building amotic models and thinks that they are discovering the TRUTH of Existence 3) People see how 'enlightened' people behave or seem to act and correlate that with actual Truth-realization is it surprising that so much misconception exist in this field?

@Enlightenment 1) Reduction in self referential thoughts 2) Change in the sense of self/expansion beyond the head 3) Being one with with visual and auditory field 4) Loss of sense of agency 5) Severe memory deficit 6) inability to make decisions so on and so forth... You are nitpicking on the symptoms of the disease man! But what is the DISEASE?? There could be dozens of other diseases that share these symptoms mutually. But what is THE DISEASE? Something that comes or something that is newly acquired is sure to get lost eventually

HERE WE GO (02-03-2019)

Oh thanks for writing this one. This cracked me up big time I think almost all the misconceptions about enlightenment has come from misinterpretations and undervaluing of what that term really means. More than 99% would consider a glorious meditation sit, a runner's high, an ejaculative dream, an intimate bonding with a partner/pet, accomplishing of some goal redeemed impossible at first, reading and agreeing with some spiritual/philosophical text/theory or even a good night's sleep as a moment of enlightenment lol. In that sense, you can have millions of people getting enlightened every single hour The way I see Enlightenment, how it was originally explored and proposed, is a 'state' of Truth- that which is. It's an irreversible breakthrough after which an ego can never arise again with it's objective identification mechanism. That absolute truth realization must alone prevail. No buts or exceptions can remain after that. It's literally the end of the game. Done means done. If not, then you're not done yet oh enlightened master/mistress. Seeing from this standard, we can easily see how the number of 'enlightened' people would probably never rise above few hundreds; not billions of every other average joe who has read the power of now or snorted some powder and feels him/her as the 2nd coming of buddha or whatever

He has no propaganda against psychedelics or anything. But the direct path he advocates doesn't consider any particular tradition, substance, process, belief, meditation etc. as particularly necessary to know and be what one actually is. Just like you don't necessarily 'need' a royal comfy bed, a fancy headphone with exotic music playing, people pampering your limbs in order to fall asleep and have a good night sleep. We all can sleep happily and naturally as it is one of our inherent nature as biological units.

Leo might be going through heavy existential crisis. what he envisioned exactly 3 years ago might be hitting him hard big time But I'm sure he'll be back out of ashes, reborn and liberated.