Preetom

Godspeed. I try to remember Rupert Spira's advice when feeling heavy emotions. He says not to have ANY agenda while feeling an emotion. The true test is asking oneself, "Am I okay with living with this feeling for the rest of my life?" The day we can answer yes to that question honestly, is the day healing starts. Also he instructs us to feel emotions not as an individual body-mind, but as open empty formless awareness. Just like the space of the room is never distraught by what happens inside the room, awareness never resists whatever emotion is present.

Her voice makes me feel like I'm attending a kindergarten lecture Great content btw. Thanks for sharing Charlotte!

Good boy making good points as usual

Desire IS the root cause of suffering. More accurately put, Broken desire = Suffering. The pure consciousness or true self only knows it's own presence and nothing else. It is in complete desire. Whenever that complete desire gets broken and thus an urge for objective knowledge to know anything 'other' arises, that is the other name of suffering. It is bound to suffer unless and until that broken desire is complete again.

A very significant point. It's so simple that we fail to get it

of course! The deeper you dig, the more you drown in the shit. But it's already dug up too deep to go back, aye? The only is way forward is through it.

But one is sure getting melt alive

This reminds me of the saying, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Pretty much all destruction was and is being done in the name of good, self righteousness and salvation. No devil ever came and declared that he is from hell to burn this world. Such is the paradox of changing the world, disturbing to even think about it.

Please bless me The final battle is yet to come

What is it that knows that I feeling? Chase and stay with that self aware being more and more, while being progressively uninterested in things that are known. Thanks for sharing your case and glad you are past it. Let's see where things go in my case

Makes me wonder whether God is the ultimate masochist lol. There is pain no matter which direction you take. If you take the easy route, life becomes hell down the line. If you take the hard route, multiple pain barriers are to be conquered.

I wouldn't say intense as in dropping on my knees, though it feels like that from time to time. It's more like a sustained heavy feeling fluctuating from vague to flat out uncomfortable levels almost every waking hour. The strategy I follow is to leave the sensation as it is while I focus on the experience of being aware, the one who knows this sensation

That's something I think I've calmly understood all the way. Often we hear in the non-dual scene the parroting of ''there is no I, there is no I''. But it's actually a misconception. It's impossible to lose the I. Only the nature and understanding of the 'I' get unraveled and progressively revealed. The challenge isn't losing an I. The challenge is keeping cool and correct understanding in midst of every uncomfortable and convincing feelings that arise to delude one back to the ego identified state at every small spiritual 'victory' you make. That being said, we never know what may come so I better not get too cocky

thanks! Sorry if my post appeared rude or anything. It seems you get it in episodes. But my case is kinda chronic and continuous. It's like 4 hours of attack, then 1 hour of relief. Then comes up another wave. They have no co-relation with external circumstances. Anyway glad that you've found your way to cope with your case

Talking about peace of mind. ''If the mind is silent, one may live anywhere'' - Ramana Maharshi Great thread btw

This burning is already happening. Let everything burn, until that which can't be burnt remains //

Trust me these attacks (either short heavy impact or extended chronic effect) aren't happening for no reason. They are happening on behalf of 'someone'. And until the nature of that 'someone' is completely unraveled, these attacks will keep sticking on like shadows.

The only thing helping me keep my cool is something I've taken as hypothesis. We all pretty much have layers and layers of constricted emotions and feelings resulted from living and acting as a separate self for decades. Those who are obsessively identified with the body and forms, these emotions almost never arise so intensely because it would be impossible for them to cope with it and they might pass out in worst case scenarios. But those who progressively dis-identify from the body, these feelings come up wave after wave to clear up. I remember the time when I couldn't just feel these heavy emotions no matter how much I wanted. The identification with the body was too strong to allow such uncomfortable feelings. I remember even sleeping for over 15 hours a day just so I didn't have to feel these sensations. But as I did self-inquiry and progressively disidentified from the body, there is not any heavy defense mechanism present to resist these feelings anymore. So let' see how long these waves last

If I die, I die on self-inquiry salt mine. Everything is too unraveled to get back to it's previous state

For the last few months, I'm feeling a heavy sensation(anxiety symptom) in my chest for over 10 hours a day. It's really an uncomfortable feeling and it does feels like this sensation is somehow killing me bit by bit, or maybe even get a heart attack for christ's sake, But kinda got used to it now. Plus there is nowhere else to go. The daily distracting mechanisms don't really work more than few minutes as well so.. I have no idea if it's some phase where emotional purging is happening or whether this sensation has nested inside my chest forever

@Shin 1) Sit down with your pen and paper during one of these attacks. Sitting meditation won't do. 2) Set your intent and be super focused to genuinely find out what is it in you, that is actually being harmed or damaged by this panic attack. 3) Do not give up until your genuine intent exhausts itself. Look at every element of your present experience from thoughts, sensations so on and so forth..can you locate the one that is dying? Don't just reason in your head. Actually write down the key points of how your investigation is going on. This will help you a lot to stay focused and not be distracted inside the head. 4) Maybe share your experience with us later

By 'smart people' I think he meant mostly orange and above rational people who are interested in using their logic and rationality to take a fresh look at the topic of God again. Not people with an already placed firm belief about God and not even interested to entertain any alternative idea.

These are conventional human perceptions because you take yourself to be a human subject. If you had an ant ego, your perception of this very placeless place would be something completely different. Ego and it's creation/perception arise simultaneously