Preetom

A deep hate for existence and a deep yearning for self annihilation. Very common trend in those who explored all these spiritual stuff to a significant degree. Eckhart Tolle was exactly in such a condition right before his so called instantaneous enlightenment. What I'd like to offer is an exploration of your own direct everyday experience. Go have a nap now. Was there any hate for existence and a longing for self annihilation in sleep? Upon waking up, what actually changed? What hideous cancer is responsible for all this dread and mess? The solution to your problem might lie in this experiential inquiry.

I've gone through this thought experiment during self-inquiry before. It always boiled into the intuitive sense that 'I' actually never was here. All the activity of the body-mind is already rendered just like finished movie. Even this notion of a 'me' now detached and watching this automatic movements, all the search, realizations etc everything is part of the movie. What does that make the current conceptual me then? A robot. The entire life, stories and phenomena are being had. But thats not the problem. After all a computer doesn't nag and complain even if it is overused. The mother of all problem starts when this robot gets infected with a virus called sense of 'I'. Now all of a sudden, the movie characters of the finished movie start to imagine their personal power, free will, description, status and the inevitable attempt to protect their sense of self at all cost. Now all of a sudden, the robot feels itself as a personal doer. Can you imagine the level of disaster if a computer had a sense of doership along with running a program? Well I just explained all people who take themselves as an ego. Oh god what a joke...infecting a robot with a sense of self so that it can chase its own tail from time immemorial in the name of "waking up" or "going somewhere" or "doing shit"

My mandatory response to all goodbye threads. Goodbye..goodbye..ole ole ole ole

That was like the easiest guess of all lol

@moon777light If you are building daily meditation routine, then discipline is the key. But don't conflate that with non dual awakening experiences. I'm mentioning this as you asked about non dual glimpses in OP. Chances are non dual glimpses wont happen with daily 1-2 hours meditation, unless you are a 5-10 years vet haha. So I mentioned the retreat like setting if you wanna glimpse this thing called non duality for yourself as quickly as possible. And another thing about self inquiry, its better not to have the expectation that one day it will be a cake walk all of a sudden. Its like a musical instrument on its own. No matter how much you practice piano, that wont help you learning the drums. You'll have to get used to it through those brutal failures and ups and downs. And the good news is, like any other technique, it gets better and better as you start to have a hang of it

@moon777light You probably wont hit a solid non dual glimpse with 30 minutes-1 hour daily practice. Not until at least 2-3 years. Sure you'll have several mini glimpses here and there and maybe with every sit if you get a hang of it. But if you are really willing to taste a non dual glimpse as quickly as possible without psychs then my bet is a self inquiry solo retreat. Thats how I first tasted this stuff. 7 days. 10 hours a day self inquiry. Set it at home. You dont have to sit in posture. You can just casually sit on couch or a chair. You'll feel like tearing part your hair if self inquiry is new to you. But if you manage to push through, within 3-4 days you'll have a very distinguishable awakening experience which might drop you on the floor. That's the most efficient way to have a solid experience of non dual glimpse without psychedelics that i know of so far. And the good news is, the effects will likely stick for some days to weeks instead of fading after few hours

Yeah I was kidding. Thanks for the reminder

I hope you get enlightened, stop asking questions and put @winterknight out of business as a spiritual teacher

Pls dont pop my imaginary bubble. I feel like i am dying. Oh no Bless me Mooji. Pls bless me mooji

@Anirban657 Oh boy you are in for at least 2 years of feeling like dying from time to time during self inquiry, constant heavy feeling in the chest which feels like slow death through suffocation with no cure and no way available to numb it. A shit ton of ego backlash, huge changes in personality(mostly negative ), unable to even relate to the self from 2-3 years back in any way, seeing through all sorts of bullshit mirage bonds(including parents), fear of losing your shit and end up in the streets while surprisingly not caring that much as well.... Then after 2-3 years, you'all be shocked to even imagine that you were once deluded enough to take this body, thoughts, sensations, stories as yourself. This realization will humble you to your core. You'll indiscriminately forgive everyone and be unable to hold grudge against anything or anyone, realizing the level of your own delusion; compared to which other people's 'stupid' and 'unjust' activities will seem like peanuts. And all that would be barely scratching the surface only. "How was that for a horror story?" - Daddy Mckenna

Okay thank you. Self inquiry at this point becomes a zero sum game. Its like when someone sits for an exam where he already knows all the question including all the answers beforehand. This applied folly on oneself...haha so funny

Further questioning and movements is redundant and more phenomena at this point. I am that. I have always been that. Even when i forget it or think i lost it, I am never nothing but that. At this point, I am either enlightened or there is no such thing as enlightenment. Oh god the whole thing is a joke

Honestly if I try my best to put it in words, it is an involuntary recognition. It would be a lie if I said that I am witnessing all this. That I itself is a part of the robot. It's like asking "who sleeps?". That question makes no sense. Sleep is not an activity one can do. Sleep merely happens.

Please don't scare your kids. They might piss their pants in the middle of the night

This robot has neither any choice, nor it is alive, nor it does certain things. Only through a sort of deluded imagination, it takes itself as the chooser, decider, actor, enjoyer etc. aka the main character of this cinema called life. When you talk about surrender, Is this the surrender of this robot? Omg this thing isn't even alive. Not really if I look.

@winterknight Am I a robot? Like literally...I'm doubting this as I do self inquiry. During self inquiry, it is found that no phonomena have any being whatsoever. This whole thing called 'being alive' is a sham. No phenomena possess life or sentience or being. The world doesn't say "hey look! I am the world". The body, thoughts, feeling don't have any being to assert themselves either. What I knew as life, I discovered the whole of it as dumb, dead, insentient, hollow phenomena. I am not alive! I was never alive. This is where self inquiry goes to. It's seems like I am/was an insentient robot all along. Only by some god forsaken accident/magic, this illusion of a living, separate 'I' seemed to nest inside that robot. Upon inquiry, that virus vanishes and the robot stays like as it is.

How do you know that? What Consciousness is rendering this knowledge?

Verse 28: "Like sinking to find something that has fallen in water, sinking within by a keenly focused mind it is necessary to know Oneself, the source where the ego rises." This verse basically means self inquiry needs to go deeper than the surface level thoughts and tendencies. Only after going beneath the turbulent currents of habitual thought patterns, self inquiry ceases to be an intellectual thing, and starts to become something very visceral, silent and powerful. This verse also points out that a concentrated mind helps a lot.

start bringing that presence more and more into your focus. Highlight that more and more than other thoughts and phenomena

I would suggest sticking to the one technique you feel working the most for you for these 7 days. See how deep you can drill

Watched it last night. Good stuff

I hope its behaving like a good boy ???

Can we at least have a toast to this divine moment?

@Peo You aren't bullshitting yourself. You are onto something and that is getting yo ass Woke! Keep up this self inquiry until all tendency to stick yourself with phenomena ceases once and for all. Good luck. EDIT: BTW don't take that ''formless presence" as your true self. This is super important. Because if you do, you'all end up creating a shit ton of beliefs and imaginations about that so called "true self" and thus you'll nest in that intermidiate station for the rest of your life. This will kill the genuine attitude you have now towards inquiry and thus make you stop looking and start spinning spiritual beliefs instead. Keep up the inquiry. That "formless presence" is NOT your true self. But it is the ONLY gateway to your true self. This is what Ramana Maharshi called the I-thought. Stay at that doorway like an attentive hawk. 'You' and the ''whole universe" will be instantaneously sucked into that gateway once and for all when the time is right and all this will be crystal clear. Good luck once again

Oh and btw in many places, cave monks are revered. So often times, some local people cook and arrange food for the monk daily while he meditates all day to get woke AF. It is done in the hope that a portion of the good piety and spiritual results of that monk will be shared by the food provider as well. Cook food for a monk and get your ticket to heaven to bang some celestial chicks. Who's up for this?