Kundalini Cataclysm

German here. I'll adress your points individually from my perspective: If you want to improve your German, there obviously aren't many places where you could do so better. I'd recommend a place with many young people though (often cities in which University students make up a significant proportion of the total population), because being at least somewhat skilled or fluent in English (or even Spanish) is way more common among younger people than the older generations here. Regarding the dating life: I'm not sure. I kinda agree with the people before me, many Germans seem to be rather stuck up, but I've also experienced the opposite. It really depends on where you go. There's also a lot of foreigners from all over the world here, especially in places where there's Universities, so you wouldn't be limited to Germans only. When it comes to Life Purpose, I think I highly depends on what you want to do. There are many opportunities here, but you might also be better off elsewhere, I don't know what it is you want to do. I deem it highly unlikely that the war will reach German ground, except if they decide to bomb everything into oblivion with nuclear missiles, then it's not safe here either, obviously. Germany is also pretty damn crowded in my opinion, so there is hardly any untouched nature left. This doesn't mean there aren't beautiful places though, the country is really diverse landscape-wise. That's it for now, you can ofc also DM me if you have further and/or more specific questions, maybe me and my gf could even help you with deciding where to go, we both enjoy the cultural exchange.

So, you're judging the quality of a country's music by how many international pop hits come from that country? The best musicians in any language never become really popular. What many people like is not a measure of how good the music is. Also, Rammstein sell out fucking stadiums around the world.

Oh boy, if you like Metal, we have quite some good stuff. Here's some examples: And here's some great non-Metal stuff: ^This one is even about becoming the witness when thought and emotion are intense, Cr7z is often quite spiritual in his lyrics. ^Käptn Peng also is very deep in his lyrics. Hope you'll enjoy some of this, don't listen to @Epikur saying that German music is borng

One of the most effective things in any kind of afflictive emotional state, be it depression, fear, grief etc. is crying I've found. Few things are as releasing as crying. Depression can be seen as your accumulated emotional pain trying to bubble up to the surface, yearning to be really felt and maybe expressed. Meditation can be helpful here, to really look into the pain that's there and give it space. You might find that "hidden" within the depression are a lot of suppressed, probably intense "negative" emotions. Releasing those through crying is very healing I've found. All this is based on my own experience, take it with a grain of salt. Maybe it helps!

Artem Boytsov, he's a relatively unknown teacher, but his stuff is great, especially because he kind of "normalizes" how intense, dark and difficult the unfolding can be. Adyashanti is also great, his style is both really straightforward, but has a certain pleasant warmth about it at the same time. Tich Nhat Hanh, I just love the vibe his voice brings acorss. Samaneri Jayasara is also great, I've enjoyed her recordings.

@Galyna I have (and still am) experiencing similar things. Here's what has helped me: Suicidal thoughts and impulses are apparently entirely normal during this kind of unfolding. It is a suicide, in a way, but it has nothing to do with the body. The body is fine 99,9% of the time. You are okay 99,9% of the time, even if it doesn't feel that way. There's a difference between feeling okay and being okay. There's no need to "do anything about" suicidal thoughts and impulses, just watch them arise and disappear, they are always temporary, even if they come and go. Try to muster the courage to do basic things, even in the face of great fear. I don't necessarily mean "carry with on everything you used to do", I dropped my studies as well, but still go for walks, go to the store etc. if you can. You'll learn that even when you feel like you're deep, deeep in it, the basic bodily functions still work just fine. Breathe deeply and deliberately. Read some about Dark Night Phenomena in Daniel Ingram's book "Mastering The Core Teachings Of The Buddha". You can read it for free online here: https://www.mctb.org/ Talk to people (as you already do). Find a community where you can talk to others in real time. There are some great folks here, for example @Nahm or @BipolarGrowth. This can be very valuable. That's all I remember right now, you can also shoot me a pm and we can talk more specifically. I hope some of this helps!

Alan Watts was my introduction. That's where it all started. Adyashanti, especially lately. Artem Boytsov was definitely one of, if not THE most influential.

Right?

@thenondualtankie I once devoured like three big plates of vegetable stew during an LSD trip. We made the stew beforehand, which was a good idea. I started to feel quite uncomfortable at some point during the trip, but I was like "Nah, I can't be hungry, trips don't make me hungry." Eventually, I tried eating and it was exactly what was needed at that time. So, I can highly recommend having some good stew or soup ready before tripping.

Beautiful read! Thanks for sharing dude.

Oh Boi, I might sign up for this.

@BipolarGrowth Funny, one of my current mentors was/is a student of Dhammarato! Interesting how the threads intertwine. I've also benefitted a lot from the wholesome approach.

I don't quite understand what you mean by all this fully I think. I've been making a practice out of observing the thoughts and emotions a lot already and always come back to that being the only thing that can be done, really.

Hahaha didn't know these exist, had a good laugh

Really good post, even though I can't claim to have understood it 100%. But I'm coming to the point of feeling like having to choose between suicide and living the life I have again and again, which just feels awful because it seems like the choice between pest and cholera. Have also understood the "total surrender" thing conceptually, but not embodied it yet. Maybe you have some pointers for me, maybe not, but great post, anyway!