vizual

I think the best environment for kids to grow up is an environment which offers a balance between structured stability and creative freedom. When you look at families that are over structured and rigid. You know, those extreme religious families with very strict rules. That kind of extreme structure can make kids extremely rigid and closed-minded themselves. Or they sway to the other side of the pendulum and become these out of control drug addicts who party all the time because they are trying to break free from their suffocating past. On the other hand. A family with no boundaries at all also isn't a good environment imo. Imagine a typical hippy family where anything goes. The kids can do whatever they want etc. These kids might be happy on the surface. But there's a lot of shit going on internally because they long or some structure and meaning in their lives. Something to hold onto. (Check out the movie Tillsammans(2000)). But for this to work the parents have to be loving. You can't forve these concepts as a child-raising formula. I think it is the nature of the human being to find a balance between structure and creative expression. The one can't be without the other. Just like the conservatives need the liberals, and vice versa.

I think you are too focussed on comparing yourself to other people. Being a "loser" is very much a self fulfilling prophecy, if you think you are a loser you are going to compare yourself to other people who you think are more accomplished in some way or another. Notice that everyone can be a loser. There is always someone richer, more successful, smarter, more accomplished etc. And your mind is very powerful that it can always find faults in the self. So when you think of yourself as a winner; in a fraction of a moment due to some external event, you can become a loser. Just like that. So the key is to break free from the winner/loser mind set. I think it helps when you try to live your life by your own standards. Not standards that the external world puts on you. Find your own strengths and focus most of your efforts on that. And also focus on your own weaknesses. Don't judge yourself on your strengths and weaknesses by comparing them to other people. But judge yourself on the conscious attention you give yourself on being the best version you can be, regardless what other people think of that version of you. When you do that is when you truly win, not only you, but the world benefits from you being the best version of you.

"Pick up" seems like such a waste of time to me. I mean, if you are desperately looking for sex, you may as well dish out some cash and pay a professional(if you know what i mean ;)). At least you will be certain she will know what she is doing under the sheets. And there are a lot of "hot" sex workers, surely some that will be to your liking. But if you are looking for a deeper relationship. Why not go to places of your interest? Like going to places you enjoy, places where you enjoy talking to people regardless if you could potentially stick your sausage in them or not. And if you meet someone great, and if you don't meet someone, that's great also. Because you were there because you liked being there. And I am going to hint that maybe girls will actually find you more attractive if she sees you are having fun and not being so needy to get in their pants. Well, the quality women anyway.

Food is to nature what money is to an economy. For an economy to be healthy, money has to keep moving. There has to be production and consumption. People have to buy stuff, and people have to create stuff, they go hand in hand. If people stop buying stuff, people will also stop creating stuff, until eventually the economy dies. The same applies for nature. The drive to be fed keeps things moving in nature. It keeps it dynamic and moving, it drives evolution. When you stop looking for food, you go extinct. You could say food is energy, but so is money. What would happen to nature if all species all of a sudden stopped needing food? Evolution would still carry on, but it would be severely stunted in its growth. There is just way less incentive to evolve.

You are still young. Skepticism comes with age and experiences. Stay open to different perspectives. It's not bad to accept a certain perspective from someone, but be mindful that your perspective will most certainly change with age and experience. Don't try to stubbornly hold on to your own perspective, nor the perspective of others. At the end of the day, there is no perfect way of seeing something. The best you can do is to try to look at things from multiple angles and use your intuition which seems most true to you. The more viewpoints you have at your disposal, the more likely you will have pick the right one in a given time.

It's what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi hypothesized about in his book "Flow", that there has to be a couple of conditions in place for the "flow effect" to take place in most people. Like having a well defined goal to accomplish. And the challenge of the task should be challenging enough that it requires serious concentration, but the challenge should not be so hard that it becomes frustrating.

You have that belief because it is true. You are worthless, you are not good enough and never will be. You are a failure, and as a matter of fact, you have never done anything good in your life. I'm talking to the ego. That is always looking to compare, it's always looking down on people, and at the same time feeling inferior to others. It always wants more; more money, more status, tighter abs, more whatever. It always takes the credit for the good things that have happened in your life, and it talks degrading to you when something bad happens. If you are going to play the comparative ego game in this day and age you better be on top. Or else you're going to be in hell all the time. You have to learn to relax, meditate. Let go of your foolish comparisons, let go of your limiting beliefs. Stop seeing life as a game you have to win. Life is just life, and it's very enjoyable if you let it be what it is, and let it flow where it wants to go. Stop seeing yourself as a part in some kind of rat race, the rat race is all in your mind, and you are losing the race. But it's a stupid race anyway because - by definition - everyone loses in the end.

Can you elaborate what you mean by meaning? I mean, what is meaning and what is not meaning?

That's the thing; the ego was never created at all. It's all an illusion. Nothing ever really gets created. If this is true, what is the thing that is asking this question? There is no thing that is asking the question. Show me your ego and I will show you mine. The ego is an implication, you assume it to be there, somewhere. But where? You can never exactly pinpoint in time when your physical body was created, you can also not pinpoint when the ego was created. Because both the body and the ego were never really created since the act of creation implies a creator and a creation. A duality which can not be. Also, you can not observe anything without exerting (unconscious)influence over it. This is even proved by science. You simply cannot dissect the universe while you are in the universe. There is no way to look at the universe from a detached point of view because there is no such thing. It's like you are trying to study darkness while you got a permanent flashlight attached to your head. Every time you think you finally found the essence of darkness there your light is again...

A thought just came to me which I wanted to share: "God has your back so you can focus all your attention on the Love in your front." Don't know, maybe it sucks ^^

Blow it all on coke, hookers and booze and realize all pleasures of the senses were an elaborate illusion all along, leading finally to my spiritual enlightenment. Totally worth the cash

Well, mood can be one of the factors. Another factor can be that people tend to put on certain "masks", whether it be at work or social gatherings. Let's say you work as a scientist or as an accountant, jobs that require a lot of "rational" thinking. If you answer all the questions of the test from the mode you work by, the test will show you that you are a thinker. But all are scientists and accountants thinkers? Nope, a lot of feelers in these fields as well. And especially if the feeler has developed an ego around his successful career he can be very blind about the fact that his primary way of decision making is actually based on feeling, and not cold logic. And also vice versa, thinkers that think that they are are actually feelers, when they are not. A lot of people are blocking out their true way of operating due to ego. And they don't even know it, that's a tricky thing about the ego. It can blind you because your environment actually positively reinforces ego. Which means that you start seeing certain aspects of behavior as true to you, while they might not be really true to you at all. In conclusion; all I'm saying is is that those personality tests are heavily flawed. But even a broken clock is right twice a day so

The outcomes of those tests can change every time depending on your mood. When you are in love you will test as a feeler, when you are depressed and cynical you will test as a thinker etc. Also, the questions themselves in these tests are so simplistic that they can never accurately assess the cognitive processes that are happening within the test taker. Just because two people make the same decision in a certain situation, does not mean they came to that decision the same way, cognitively speaking. It's more reliable to study the cognitive functions of Carl Jung(on which MBTI is based) if you want a more accurate assessment of your personality. Because then you are more capable of explaining the cognition that goes behind the way you make decisions, in stead of just looking how you react to certain stimuli.

@Marinus It is because deep down you fear rejection. You experienced being rejected by people and as a defense mechanism you decided to put up a shield. If that "persona" gets rejected it doesn't hurt that much because what you perceive to be the real you is hiding safely behind that shield. The persona makes you feel safe, but it doesn't satisfy you spiritually. Keeping up that shield takes a lot of energy, so you resent people since they are the reason you are using excess energy. It is in our nature to preserve energy. Other people don't seem to have such a rigid shield as yours, and you do not like that instinctually. You are very picky about the people you let in, you are very judgmental about their "faults". Because when you do let someone in behind your shield, you want to make sure that person is "safe" to your true self.

In the eyes of God everything is right, there is no wrong. You thinking that something is wrong, is also right. So you can not try to ban wrongness from your life, since wrongness is also right. The path of self-actualization is actually going through the uncertainty of right and wrong, and learn from it. Not by running away from it by trying to contain it into a concept. A lot of spiritual and personal seeking is just a way of running away from the "realness" of life. It's very comforting to try to run from life in concepts like "nothingness", "spirituality", "God" etc. But if you still do not truly embody this in your day-to-day life. It is just that, concepts.

notice that intellectuality does not necessarily equate intelligence. An intellectual who had access to a lot of factual information is nog necessarily a smart person. True intelligence comes from love. Replace your yearning for intellectuality with a yearning for love and you actually become a smarter and wiser person. Love does not mean the rejection of rational thought but it expands on it.

It depends what game you want to play. If you want to play the game of fear(Success, money, power, sex etc.). Then yes, fear is a very good motivator. If you want to play the game of love, it's a terrible motivator. Actually you can't play the game of love at all with fear as your motivator.

I've been watching some videos from Jordan Peterson recently and he is always very adamant about people telling the truth. He's saying that you should always tell the truth regardless of the consequences. Well, maybe I am misinterpreting his message but it is an interesting dilemma nonetheless. Are "white lies" to be deemed acceptable? Does it aid a person in his personal growth? When someone says that everyone should always speak the truth you can confront him with the following dilemma. Let's say you are in nazi Germany and you are hiding Jews in your basement. A Gestapo officer kindly asks you "Are you hiding Jews somewhere in your Hause dear sir?". If you aren't a hypocrite and truly believe in speaking the truth you confess that you indeed are hiding Jews. The consequence of you speaking the truth is the cold blooded execution of the said Jews, you and your entire family. Most people would say, that speaking the truth has limits. In the Jew dilemma, most people would not tell the "truth" to the Gestapo officer. They would lie to save themselves and their loved ones. But where is the line? Let us say your girlfriend asks you if her dress makes her look fat. And indeed it does make her look kind of fat in your eyes. Do you lie to her to not hurt her feelings and give her confidence about her appearance, or do you speak the truth but at the risk of indeed hurting her feelings and self esteem. To get to the root of this dilemma we have to understand the function of communication. Why do beings communicate with each other? Well, beings primarily communicate with each other the smooth out and enhance the social cohesion and goals of the group. By using language people have been able to divide tasks and make concrete plans with each other to ensure the survival of the group. Note that without a group; language is useless and non-sensical. Language is by definition group oriented. To exemplify this: Let's say you stole a loaf of bread. You stole it just for yourself to eat, nothing about it, you weren't even hungry, you stole it for the kick of it. But let's say someone else also stole a loaf of bread, but he did it to feed his starving family. Now, if person A is honest he will say that he indeed stole that bread. And if person B is honest he will say that he did not steal that bread. You see that even though both persons gave a contradicting answer, they both spoke the truth. Why? Because they stayed true to the true function of communication. Person A hurt the group with his action and person B helped the group. Of course, now comes the question. We are not living in small tribes anymore. What actually is the group? Is my family the group? My coworkers? My countrymen? All living beings? Or is the group just me? Well, in an ideal world. The group consists of every being that is able to speak the language. When a bird sings he isn't singing to the snake that wants to eat him. He is singing to his fellow bird friends. As a rule you can say; the more people you include in your group, the truer your words feel. If you consider only yourself in your group, you are going to experience a lot of anxiety in your speech. Because you consider everyone you speak to as someone from another group, and thus someone that might be a predator to your group. But if you include every living being in your group, your speech is very liberating because you can not say any wrong. All your words are to collaborate, not to compete or destroy. The problem is that considering every being part of your group is hard. Since it totally goes against your social conditioning. But the payoff can also be big. Gandhi for instance dared to act and tell the truth as a part of the whole. He did not chose sides in his speech, his words were universal. He stood for peace of all..

The language we use is an expression of the group we hold dear. Language started as a tool to protect and further the interests of our beloved tribe, family, friends etc. Communication is power. It's not only the words we speak, but also the words we think inside our minds that show what we truly hold dear. If we only care about ourselves. Our thoughts are going to be very turbulent and neurotic. Why? Because the mind then sees everybody and everything as a potential threat. Let's compare the thoughts of a neurotic egotist to the thoughts of a true King. The King is a man who radiates poise, strength, class, compassion and awareness. But why? Why is the King so special that he radiates that, does he have different blood than the common man? No, the King's thought patterns are geared toward an entire country. His mind is wired toward the betterment of a huge group of people. Try to visualize that you are the King of a huge country, try to imagine that you are responsible for millions of people, and that they look up to you and count on you. Can you feel the difference in your thought space in comparison to the mode with you only caring about your puny self? Being a King is a state of mind, just like being a selfish loser. The difference between to two is that the King uses his inner communication to the betterment of an entire country, the egotist only for his puny self. What can be better than being a King? Well, try to imagine that the communication in your mind space is not geared towards a country. But your mind space speaks the language for the betterment of the entire universe. All the humans, animals, the planets, all the objects, even the fabric of space itself. Feel your mind using its ability to communicate to connect with everything in reality. Notice that the language of the universe is pure silence, there are no words here. You can communicate with everything, every object, every person, with pure silence. This is the language of love.

Nisargadatta Maharaj says I am That. I say I am This. Who is right and who is wrong? It depends who is asking.

When you experience an awakening it is very tempting to go around exploring your own world and re-labeling everything from your new found perspective. It's the same impulse when the bullied High school geek becomes rich and successful and is counting the days he can show off his success at the high school reunion to prove his superiority to himself. In Jim Carey's case, he's labeling the showbiz world(which he was a big part of) as shallow and meaningless. Yet, there he is. It can be very satisfying to look at old situations that caused fear and desire, and be totally impartial to it now. But it is another layer of ego one has to go through. I don't think he is enlightened, but he has experienced an awakening, probably.

Well, it seems you are doing a pretty poor job of "trying to be authentically content with reality" if you are having such doubts about it Maybe you should evaluate what you are really trying to get out of what you are doing. I mean, how are strong determination sittings actually aiding you? Is it about enduring pain? Is it about not moving and not thinking? Is it about determination?

Well, thinking is not going to get you to a satisfactory answer to your crisis of meaning. In one way, life is totally meaningless. Since every passing moment pales in comparison to the infinite amount of possibilities that are also present right now. Every moment in your life is a single drop of water in an ocean the size of infinity. But at the same time. Since every passing moment also possesses the "DNA" of every possible moment, every moment is also extremely meaningful. Which means that without the current moment you are currently experiencing, no moment can exist at all. Do you realize how meaningful that is? Think about it, Nothing at all could exist without the current moment you are experiencing right now. Since without that moment, infinity can not be infinite. The "DNA" of infinity is with you right now, and it appreciates and loves each moment equally. Infinity is not cold and empty, it is extremely rich and warm. Whether you think it's meaningful or meaningless does not really change anything. Reality is reality, look at it and enjoy

I agree with WelcomeReality. It's very attractive to try to escape your fear, anxiety and depressed states. Either by trying to run from it mentally, physically or drugs, sex, alcohol or whatever. But that just delays and prolongs the suffering. But when you actually allow the depression and anxiety you unconsciously learn how to deal and cope with it. Even if it doesn't feel that way. Your mind is actually wired to look for a way to improve your own mood and life. By allowing unhappy states to 'be' you give your brain the permission to learn, adapt and seek a solution. But this learning is mostly not immediate, it takes some time. And after a while the 'aha' moment can come so you can grow spiritually. That is why drugs, alcohol and other forms of escapism can be absolutely detrimental to ones spiritual growth. It tricks the brain into thinking that everything in life is 'ok'. So the unconscious does not try to make any effort to grow in that way. It takes strength and faith, though. And it's very tempting to try to escape the pain if the present situation if not pleasant.

The funny thing is, is that you have zero control over the content of your thoughts. Let's say you desire to become the President of the US, that thought of that desire was not in your conscious control. It's the flow of life that put that certain desire in your mind. So when you take Donald Trump for instance. Sure, he first had the thought of becoming the President of the US, and so his desire actually came to manifestation. But that desire was not of his choosing. So in a way, there is truth to it, your thoughts manifests your reality. But to think that you can jus think things to manifestation would be delusional. Your thoughts, desires and destiny are all intertwined into one. So if you take that quote apart: "What you think, you become", it kinda suggests that there is something that is control of what it thinks, and thus it can consciously decide what it wants to become. But the thinking and the becoming are actually one thing. Meaning, in truth, there is no causality between thinking and becoming.