Hulia

Since I wasn´t in the hurry today in the morning I took time to stay in the bed and try to recall my dreams. Now I know, why I´m not remembering them. There is nothing special to remember. In the 1st episode I was trying to integrate 2 new buttons into a program. I tried hard and long and waisted a lot of my dreming energy but of course never succeded, because you cannot integrate hardware into a software. (Yesterday evening I watched Leo´s video about structure and content). In the next episode my colleague tried to persuade me not to travel through Aserbaidshan. I didn´t quite catch her reasons. But it has something to do with the narrow mountain roads and climate. - Is it too cold? - I asked her - Oh no! - Is it too cold in the night and too hot in the daytime? - Oh no, no! Then it is too hot all the time, - I decided for myself without asking her. I didn´t want to get into the situation of the 1st episode. That´s all! No mystical worlds, no entertaining guides..

@machinegun Karma is not about rewarding the good and punishing the bad. Karma is about cause and effect on different levels: individual, collective, physical, metaphysical and so on, which are all interconnected with each other in a very complicated way, which is difficult to track down. And which is impossible to track down for somebody whom you know only from Wikipedia. A lot of dimensions and interactions get lost for you. When I observe people and events around me, I don´t see any irregularities or something illogical. But I am speaking really about the 1st circle, not the friends of the friends and not about Gengis Kahn and his victims

Now I understand what you mean, I didn´t at first. You are describing a dream! It´s the same for me in a dream. Shapes, colours, movements.. they say the same things which I would say (even the guides), have the same sense of humour.. Apart of the 3-dimensional dreams where another person is present, a person which has the same dream. But even in these dreams this another person is about 30% me. But in the reality, when I don´t sleep. I don´t perceive other people to be me. Not at all. I may feel very close to someone but it´s not the same.

I had a very vivid about my friend a month or so ago. I need to tell her story at first. She is one of the most intelligent and sensitive people I´ve ever met. But she is prone to all kind of addictions. When I learned her she was addicted to knowledge and made plans for Harvard. Later on she fell in love and became addicted to a boyfriend. And to sex. She tried a cigarette and became a chain-smoker. Alcohol has become a daily routine. The drugs was a matter of time. Last time I saw her, it was about 12 years ago, she was clean for a year after treatment of psychosis and drug addiction in a hospital. Shortly afterwards she married an Italian and moved to Rome. From our common friends I heard, that she divorced and moved to Mallorca, where she worked as entertainer and was again on drugs. It was the last thing I heard about her some 8 years ago. Once during our conversation she told, that it seemed to her that she took a pleasure in destroying herself and she could do nothing about it. And here is a dream I dreamt, she lived now in USA and I was visiting her with my parents. We were on the airplane and then at her place, she wasn´t at home. Her flat was small – just kitchen and the living room, bit it was somehow absolutely perfect. Every single piece of furniture, every subtle tint of color were matching perfectly. Everything was just in its place. Since she wasn´t at home we went for a walk. It was a small cozy town situated around a lake which was a center of everything. The citizens of the town were very relaxed, they walked around the lake or skated on the surface of lake, though it was warm and there was no ice. After we´ve passed the lake, we discovered, that the town is on the hill. An ocean came into view. Dark blue waters underneath of juicy green slope covered with fir trees. We returned into the flat and shortly afterwards my friend came. She had wet hairs and a towel around her body: - Oh, I´m just coming from the beach, 2 bus stops from here. Normally she would give a hug and ask a lot of question, but this time she was relaxed and detached. She went into the kitchen to prepare a dinner. The door remained open. A little boy came into the corridor and stammered: Irina, Irina (it´s her name). - Here is a child for you! I shouted into the kitchen. She came out and hugged the boy. His mother arrived, all apologetic: - Sorry, but he escaped again, I haven´t noticed And off was she with a little boy. My first thought after awakening “It was a paradise”. Because this place was not just beautiful it was perfect in every single aspect.

@seeking_brilliance Beautiful journal and music. I like it. It´s interesting how you terrorise your dream characters with the fact that they are just your creation No wonder, you get no guides

James 123, What you are telling about refers to a pretty advanced state of mind. How it should be according to the teachings and gurus and so on.. And what I am telling you, is how it is. I think there are 2 layers. One is so called reality: people and events. Where I am pretty aware that they are just my thoughts, an illusion. Since they are not present. Only in form of the thought. The 2nd layer is the thought itself. I am not aware of its illusionary nature. Since it is present. Always.

Good question. At the same place where everything else is. Because everything else exists only in my thought.

I still do a little bit of yoga a little bit of meditation. Maybe I should increase. I´ll try to meditate every day. Lazy me... Awareness check. I am not sure that I need it. When I am dreaming I´m always aware, that it´s a dream. It´s not a problem, a problem is that I am not dreaming. Smoke pot. Never tried any of drugs. Maybe it´s a prejudice, but I don´t like even the idea of them. I don´t know anybody who has become enlightened by them, I don´t mean the ocasional glimpses but steady and clear state of enlightenment. Well, Leo seems to be an exception. But! I know enough people who ruined or even killed themselves by drugs. Generally I learned to appreciate the clear state of mind. I don´t even like alcohol. Even if I would change my mind and try cannabis, I have no idea, where to take it from. It´s illegal in my country. I think, I am beginning to understnd the idea of drugs. All the teachings are useless, if you don´t experience at least once this special state of consciousness. Nothingness, Existence, God are beyond imagination, they must be seen. But drugs won´t help you to make enlightenment steady, your normal state of consciousness, won´t they?

I don´t even need to think a thought. They are just there - the whole set of them, waiting for their turn. This is how I know that there is such thing as thought - I perceive there presence. What you presumably mean is that there is no such thing as me - my self. But as long as there is my self there are also thoughts. At least a certain type of them. Now I see, thought is not equal thought... I think

Some thoughts are playfull, the others - not. Most of them not. Why shoul ocean bother, wheter I turned off the iron or not, for example

Earlier I felt often that there was much more there than I can remember. The dreams which I could remeber were very distinct and vivid. But I felt like they were just 5-10% of what I ´m dreaming. Sometimes it was even a little weird - the feeling that there is somewhere another life and something important might happen there and I cannot remember. But now it feels like I no longer dream. THough I read that all people dream but forget.

Yes, I could. Not always and not all of them. But what I could remember was pretty distinct. And they were sometimes long and pretty sophisticated. Sometimes connected with each other. I thought, I could write a stoty - something like "Alice in Wonderland" after I´ve written down enough of them. It was also like living a parallel life with more adventures, fun and possibilities.

It´s a beutiful analogy and it desribes, how I perceive it. Bit it still doesn´t answer the question, where do the waves come from? Why are there waves? Why not just the ocean, flows, water?

3 years? You are lucky. 15 years! And now I´m at the point where I don´t even remember my dreams. Mayby I don´t even dream! Oh god, oh god... Leo explains it with survival. Your self ("ego" is often misunderstood) is programmed to survive, no matter what. Awakening will kill it. It´s like springing into abyss without bottom. I know how it feels. I cannot even imagine, that I´ll ever will have so much bravery.

They are always here on stock, even if I don´t think them actively. All the thoughts that I have ever thought and will think again. Round and round. So called sub-thoughts predefined by some major ultimate thought - me. I want to breakt through. Basically I don´t have anything against thoughts. But it´s boring to have in your disposal only one set ot them. When I ask me ,what is me? I thinks I am a thought. :))) But then the questions arises, what is a thought? Where it comes from? I don´t know.

@seeking_brilliance It seems that you don´t let a lot of room for the intuition in your dreams :))) Exercising, applying methods, controlling... It doesn´t work for me. After I´ve decided to write down my dreams, I stopped remembering them. It´s depressing. Once I decided to see my hands in a dream. And what did I see? A guide (there was a period when the guides were present in almost all of my dreams), he approached me from some place far away and waved frantically the whole time with both of his arms and laughed friendly. When he came closer I saw that he waved with the arm stumps. He was missing completely a part of them where the hands should be. And he seemed to find the surprise and my confusion pretty funny. Me too

Sorry, but I cannot stop answering you You say thing which I would say if they wouldn´t be wrong, so I have to contradict. Aren´t we here all supposed to be Leo and God?

@seeking_brilliance When two intuitions meet... It´s a pleasure to speak to you

Haha from me and Jung: It´s not YOUR ass :)))

@seeking_brilliance Na ja.. I assume that you assume that I´m coming from the motherland of Carl Gustav Jung. So I should know these things. Actually I wanted to propose you a compromise, a compromise for lazy people - to use the intuition for the issues of little importance. But you´ve already agreed on everything

@seeking_brilliance I see, you are a lazy person, just like me To work smart you have to think hard Sometimes it works sometimes not. Autopilot (=subconscience) is by no way purified of social conditioning. Don't be so quick to mystify and glorify it.

@seeking_brilliance By the way intuition is also laziness :))) Thank you for helping me me to find a right definition. Intuition is when you are too lazy to think and decide conciously and turn on autopilot. That is it!

@seeking_brilliance That is it! And laziness too.

Why not? There is no ultimate reality. Just an infinite number of illusions - a kaleidoscope of amazing patterns.

@seeking_brilliance I assume, your intuition is deceiving you. It often does as I know