Hulia

River - richen´ko

You are not supposed to do it. But Marcel! He is also young. But mature!

I don´t see a mouse. I see a hedgehog lieing on his belly, raising his head and awkwardly looking at the world with his weirdly big eye.

@Preety_India And then of course you need to reconsider and reevaluate regularly (at least once a year). Since your value factors might and will change with time. I propose on 20.12. of every year you do a meeting with Marcel. For auditing and analisys of the passed year and setting goals and new value factors for the coming year. You´ll still have 11 days to test and if necessary to correct new objectives. I imagine Marcel in his best suit with a tie, you in a white shirt and a tight black skirt on heels and with big glasses. You both sitting at dining table and going through the powerpoint presentation showing your scores of last year - actual compared to goal. And setting objectives for the next year - more better, more higher, more ambitious! Be a good team, have respect, find compromises! P.S.: Goal, obective, target, purpose, aim... English language has amazingly many words for this thing..

hahaha My proposals for measurements: 1. Hours of intimate interactions (sex or almost sex) 2. Hours of chores or rather a delta in hours of chores 3. Hours spent together apart of 1. and 2. But then you need a kind of benchmarking. Other couples with their hours captured on the same scale. Otherwise you never know, how many hours are for low, middle or high productivity and performance One more ideas: you need also a factor! Because 1., 2. and 3. are not of the same value, I guess. This is what you need to agree on with Marcel - teh value factors. hahaha

Ah.. ok, the discussion between 2 experts is always good!

hehe I don´t discuss with mechanics the issues of my car. They give me the price and I decide, whether I let them resolve my car´s issues or I sell the crap

@ivankiss de nada!

beautiful!

OK, I understand. Love can have different forms. Acceptance, rejection, ... never changing in essence But still Why is it a problem for you to meet physically, just one time? Your name, your face, your body, your voice. It´s just a form. But for me it means something: I could close a chapter at last. I don´t expect something special and I am sure, it won´t change anything. Why can´t you do this small favour for me? I swear, I won´t even set a foot over your threshold, I´ll book a hotel, sleep one night, and next day I am off to Bahamas, I saw on the map it´s not that far. Cool location Congratulation! Now it sounds like I am begging, but I am not. It´s a matter-of-fact-question. We will meet for half an hour in a small bar. You will drink coffee and smoke. Yes, I allow you to smoke, since it´s one-time event. I will drink black tea and eat an apple pie. I hope it will be autumn outside, but not crucial. And then I´ll leave for Bahamas and you go online. Nothing changes. And a hug! Almost forgot. If i fly over the ocean, I want to have a hug.

Just for the case, the things will happen abruptly: a mood of me, a word of you. I tell it know. I love you and I will always love you. And I also wish, that you share your loving heart with as many people as possible. And I wish I had had a chance to experience you in a physical reality. It does´t mean necessarily sex or marriage or whatever... What is the problem? I don´t understand. I even thought for a while, that you´ve lost your legs or arms or something that you are physically a cripple. Just frantically trying to find explanations, otherwise it would be "he hates me".

After I delete all accounts, you´ll be only a skeleton in my wardrobe behind the locked doors. When I am old and demented, when I forget everything, even my name, a skeleton will come out of a wardrobe dancing, and I´ll shout weird things at nurses ?

I just want to add. if you disappear tomorrow, I will be also ok. I have had enough experience to know it and not to be afraid. Actually I am planning to delete all my accounts one day and end it. I don´t do it immediately because I try to prolong the excitement, to leave this act of liberation for the future - one happy day. Because I also know that after this exciting act of liberation, some time after, the emtyness comes. Not the unbearable one, the normal.

The problem is, I lack your perspective. I don´t understand, how it is for you. It might be, what appears unhealthy and painful for me, the more time passes by, the more weird and incomprehensive it´s getting for me - why it should be this way? It might be, that for you it´s exactly the right way, exactly how you want it to be. You are definitely attracted to me, otherwise we wouldn´t bump into each other now and then. But it might be some different kind of attraction, not known by me. Like if I disappear tomorrow, you will miss me occasionally, but on the whole it will be ok for you. Another kind of attraction is, if you really don´t want to miss this person in your life, like it was with Ira. Idk.. It´s too complicated for me. Even if I understand it one day, what does it change it for me? Nothing. It is as it is.