Elton

The last cigarette I smoked was at 9 30 a.m. need to get rid of this hard addiction either today or tomorrow.

Willingness is a state of mind.. What am I willing to do to achieve the results I want ? Give my body the respect and protection it deserves. Saying no to smoking. because I am willing I will succeed. Your thoughts create your behaviour if you want to change a behaviour,you change the thought pattern and the behaviour changes automatically. What are my thought pattern related to smoking? I'm a slave to addiction.. hmmm So now I will change this to I am totally free. I am totally free.

I was totally lost and totally backslided over the last two months, I just don't know how to overcome addictions... It makes me so sad that I keep doing things that gives me Instant pleasure but I feel guilty later on. At the start the self actualising journey was so beautiful and it was the possibility of my dreams comming true that would make life so interesting.. but now things seems like hell self acceptance is not taking place.

Focusing on the positive , Means I focus on the things which can be done, however this approach is not so instant rewarding as I am doing the good things like implementation of meditation and body weight exercises however I also do the smoking part and it's not really facilitating quitting. Mindfulness will be my next approach.. Mindfulness... all in... from vipassana to labelling and most importantly mindfulness outside formal meditation

Focusing on the positive

Hypnosis? Probably yes

Your doing well on your progress.. I want to create that too

I'm conserned that you might get stuck in a toxic relationship same as that with your mom . However that's a judgement and it reflects completely back on me.

So after marriage where will you being staying with you husband ? I hope you are an independent girl and can at least manage your finances Independently... I live in India and here in villages girls have to depend upon their husbands for money and thus they are not in a very good situation. One tip you could use is assuming 100 percent responsibility.

Another failure in quitting, hypnosis had helped me before but it's too tedious to do it at nights it affects my sleep quality.. Today I'm feeling so at unease and slow , don't understand how to deal with these additions. I wish I could just dissolve all addictions.. why is it that we need to dissolve one addiction at a time ? But dissolving even one addiction at a time would be pretty helpful.

@Rilles you need to stop lying and telling the truth. When you are drinking coke you have already made the choice to drink it... But the fact that you struggle means that you lie to yourself saying that the one part of your being which wins over the part that wants to quit. Like there are two people involved. Its a lie. Practice meditation to cath your self lying and rationalising your behaviour. You may discover your true self.

@Shin joined the forum thanks a ton for the resource

Mumbai

@Samra a women.

@Psyche_92 have you completed the reboot?

@SFRLSFRLiSFRLSF I don't have options neither have I had sex before this is very shamefull for me @Key Elements i didn't understand what you are trying to say with the above mentioned quote.

@Key Elements i did not keep the boundry of monogamy (but didn't have intercourse with anyone else)in my relationship but didn't expect it that my girlfriend would break her boundaries. I am constantly comparing myself with that guy I haven't even seen with whom she slept. When she broke the assumed boundaries it broke me completely, I'm still going through the broken phase... Now issues like low self esteem,perfectionism, loneliness, depression, impotency, lack of confidence, thoughts of my girlfriend,addictions have all come in full force... Neediness has increased like anything! Heavy chest sensations have become second nature... Mindfulness about my neurosis and competitor attitude is causing pain. Scarcity mentality has surfaced up. First my relationship with myself has to improve drastically to have a good relationship I guess

Having Boundaries that cannot be broken is being too regid and making such rules causes a lot of suffering.(cause the rules are often broken) Interdependent relationship with great chemistry, understanding, peace and love is what I'm looking for. A relationship that magnifies love A relationship free of Neediness and possessiveness.

@aurum adding more girls is not a problem I'm nervous and worry about random issues but its strange that I always have something to be very fearfull about, also the thought that I'm fundamentally flawed,and a burden to my family could be the cause of my problems @Spiral @Psyche_92 Thanks for the support yesterday I did not fap and watch porn and I could already feel little bit improvement also I'm doing kegel exercises. @egoeimai this is a addiction Popi I cannot feel good only meditation can save me now or some really good subconscious training of the mind.

@Spiral i didn't notice without the girl cause all my life I've been jerking out watching porn,almost every day and I don't take much time.. I have found the root cause Smoking, Fear,anxiety,confusion, Porn (@Psyche_92 thanks a ton) Bad diet Lack of exercise Lack of concentration. I have also formulated a plan, Meditation, Yoga, Concentration exercise, Diet, Physical exercise, Books, Journal.

@PhilGR that makes everything fall into perspective if you are really serious about self actualization you would try to get to transcend level to overcome your fear of death.

First you also need not to be angry with him when he is not around. When you are by your self. Also realise that you would have probably done the same. Controlling others behaviour is not easy. 'nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so. '

@PhilGR continuity of practice is the secret to success.

@Shin i waste I don't know how many hours thinking about sex and worring, I'm thinking that this forum would be a wiser investment of time for me :-) 'one man's floor is another mans ceiling ;)'

Will need few days to upload the previous stuff. But this could be a cure for homeostasis... I feel this will end my downward spiral, will keep you guys updated