MuadDib

Fair point, fair point. It's tricky to sort out the displeased from the sadistic though. Much like it's tricky to sort out the sweethearts from the rapists.

This! Most guys just want to please, and no it isn't simping behaviour if done in a non-manipulitive way. It's a genuine masculine quality to be generous/providing. It makes most men feel good and valuable to be able to do something for a woman. And ladies ... when you get something, fucking smile and express happy emotions for god's sake. I can guarantee that if you go and ask a bunch of men what they find most attractive about a woman, the majority of them will respond with "smile, laugh, happy eyes, giggle and so forth" ... before they start getting into tits/ass/legs/pink bits.

I had similar effects after my second dose of Pfizer. My first just gave me a mild headache and lethargy for a day. For the second dose, I couldn't get out of bed for 24 hours. I didn't have nausea and diarrhea, but I had all the other symptoms plus a gnarly fever through the night with nightmares.

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Vandana Shiva is a clear-headed environmentalist who specializes in the intersection between ecology, energy and agriculture. She has written over 20 books on the subjects, I've only read 'soil, not oil' which I thought was quite good. She's appeared in a few of the references I've given, but also in Michael Moore's documentary 'planet of the humans' - which does a great job of exposing some of the collective delusions we have about energy and agriculture.

@Matt23 I have more of an interest in sustainable energy and getting a grasp on the energy sources that power humanity. It's a very deep root that determines most of what we are capable of accomplishing as a species, as David Holmgren discussed really well in that interview from about 6:15-16:00. It's a point that is overlooked even more than food by the average person today and it's NOT good. The base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs should be an energy source, then food/water/shelter should be on top of that because the cost of those things is determined by the energy that powers their production. Current global contractions in the economy like the 2008 gfc can largely be traced back to increases in energy prices. We could even say that COVID is a somewhat natural 'contraction response' given the increasing overpopulation and over-extraction of resources. I enjoyed the Netflix series 'inside bills brain' which I believe was a marketing campaign to improve public perception of nuclear power. He's come up with a new type of reactor - travelling wave reactor, that can run on nuclear waste and is touted to be safer than reactors designed with 1960's technology. That will be interesting to keep track of as the next decade unfolds. I view permaculture as being the current cutting edge of solar energy harvesting technology that humans have come up with. Plants have been practising for hundreds of millions of years to harvest solar energy. It's going to be hard to beat them. Given the emerging energy crisis and also how closely we're edging the 4th industrial revolution, I'm going to be on the edge of my seat sweating for the next 20 years or so.

Really cool stuff, I instantly noticed the water throughout all the pieces. You do that really, really well. It reminded me of a few things that might integrate. The Tao te Ching makes a reference to water that could perhaps be depicted in some multi-layered art piece(s). i.e. you could have water flowing through different expressions of consciousness interconnecting them all into a larger whole, or something like that. https://nearingthewhitelight.wordpress.com/2016/04/21/the-analogy-of-water-in-tao-te-ching/ Maybe something like the in shadow video which begins in 'the low places that people disdain' up to a higher consciousness with psychedelic implications, always a classic: or maybe some kind of equivalent tree of life type structure with the roots taking residence in lowly places of the human condition up to higher states of consciousness ... something like Alex greys 'Gaia' comes to mind: Android Jones does amazing multilayered digital artworks, like this one which seems to be a blending of masculine and feminine into a kiss:

Yes, I read the webpage. My point is the use of ivermectin started in Africa using very aggressive treatment strategies that are culturally accepted within African medicine, but not so much in the first world, as the doctor in the interview discussed. They have to treat a wide variety of dangerous viruses like HIV and malaria which we don't see much of in first world countries. So when first world doctors initially caught wind of the cowboys having great success with high doses of what is essentially an insecticide, they probably would have thought... yeah that's cool, don't want to cramp your style but we're gonna keep looking for other solutions. The evidence is more robust now, and while big pharma money is a factor, this could also have contributed to slow adoption and scepticism as well.

I've heard about it and seen some short videos on YouTube about it, but I haven't looked into it in any depth. This was quite cool: I haven't tried anything myself, but my parents, grandparents and extended family on both sides have all been in agriculture for generations now, so I know how messed up it is and have been looking into alternatives. My parents did try some small scale garden permaculture when I was a kid at one of the places we lived at, I helped them with that, but we moved ...

Yeah, I heard of this last year. I have family in Zimbabwe/South Africa that used it. My uncle has had covid TWICE and survived after taking ivermectin he bought from a veterinarian over there. He's not a model of health, given that he drinks a bottle of whiskey per day, and partied through his infections with his shirt off and gut out vibing to Chuck Berry. My Aunt in Australia also caught covid and survived, she took ivermectin without medical approval and she believes it saved her life. Only anecdotal evidence of course, but I remember a decent interview I watched earlier this year. Medicine is kind of the wild west out there, so doctors just do what they can and conduct research in a way that probably horrifies your typical first world doctor.

Permaculture: A Designers' Manual - Bill Mollison (the bible/ standard text) An introduction to permaculture- Bill Mollison Smart permaculture design - Jenny Allen The permaculture home garden - Linda Woodrow Permaculture design certificate - Jeff Lawton Udemy Course by Bill Mollison and Jeff Lawton good film with lots of referenced resources: another one I watched ages ago that I remember being quite good: David Holmgren is also a big name in permaculture and good systemic thinker, but I'm not too familiar with his stuff:

@ivankiss I have similar tendencies. In the beginning, I would say that a lot of my striving was driven out of a sense of lack or insecurity. After accomplishing a bunch of shit and feeling empty afterwards, or failing to achieve things and feeling worse about myself I gradually learnt to heal my insecurities and reassess my metrics for what I deemed success and failure and where I derived my self-esteem. I think there is the natural tendency within all egoic states to be constantly comparing oneself to others or to some ideal. The egoic mind is a comparative mind after all, and it isn't possible to strive for something 'greater' without making comparisons and deeming something as being 'lesser' by default in a dualistic sense. I think this is causing problems for people in this day and age where we are over-communicated and bombarded with images of people who are achieving perfection or close to perfection in almost any domain in life, whether it's health, sexuality, wealth, spiritual attainment, knowledge, athletics, skill in some area etc. as by definition, the greatest in a field naturally rank highest in peoples attention. It creates a false sense that as individuals we are pathetic underachievers when in reality everyone is average at most things and perhaps exceptional or overachieving in one or 2 things if they're lucky. I have found the trick (for me) is maintaining consciousness about this comparative process. It's important to be mindful that it's foolish to compare yourself to others as we each have different innate talents, abilities, years of practice, handicaps and values/goals. I strive to look to others for inspiration but keep the sources of my self-esteem and self-worth linked to ontological understanding and insights (spiritual self-worth). It's also important to be mindful that if you are comparing yourself to a perfectionist ideal, by definition, you will ALWAYS be 'lesser' and to not let this dictate your sense of self-worth as it will infect the entire process. Finally recognizing that achieving anything in its own right won't bring any satisfaction, the journey towards achievement will have struggles and suffering as well and so, enjoyment can only be found in the entire process in a holistic sense. Every step of the climb on the way to the summit is what you want to savour because it's all interlinked. It's about the journey, not the destination, but without a destination, you wouldn't have a journey etc... As for the balance between pushing and relaxing, I think it's a good rule of thumb that if you're not making progress you simply aren't trying hard enough. Usually working harder IS working smarter, the hard way is the easy way etc. But it's by no means a panacea and of course, when you reach the inevitable blocks that willpower and force won't overcome, a relaxed approach needs to be adopted to find lateral solutions or to readjust your goalposts. Last night I watched the movie 'soul' and I enjoyed it so much. It basically covers all of this in a very beautiful way. It makes a good contrast to the movie 'whiplash' which we could say is the alternative journey to the same destination but driven from a pathological narcissistic foundation. Even the process of 'striving' is itself a journey and I'm sure my perspective on this will evolve with time, but for now this is where I'm at with this. What else you gonna do? Sit around and not achieve your potential? ... well ok nothing wrong with that I guess as long as you are also free of comparisons and are just chilling in a state of being or whatever, otherwise, you will definitely suffer as your pent up potential slips past you and turns into morbidity, despair and regret. A video essay I enjoyed that covered similar themes:

You make sense, and I can relate quite a lot. You remind me of myself when I was younger, but your head seems to be screwed on a little better. When I did this attachment style inventory I got 'secure' but there was a healthy splash of 'dismissive avoidant' in my results as well. When I was a little kid (maybe 5-6) I distinctly remember having the realization that "I'm not like the other humans". I never felt intellectually superior to people, or that I was more developed or evolved, or that I was judgemental of others at all, but for some reason I gave off those vibes. I felt different, is all. I thought there was something wrong with me and I also used MBTI to rationalize and explain stuff after I realized I wasn't autistic or psychopathic or narcissistic or anything like that... just INTJ. I'm beginning to settle into the fact that I'm not broken, just out of sync with my peers and with people in general. Not in any pathological way, but enough that it does feel draining to interact with people I don't vibe with, or that I turn into a bit of an overly energetic spaz when I do. I can imagine it would be a little bit more difficult as a woman in some respects. I've never had to deal with subtle judgement or criticism for being single in the past and I don't really have a biological clock to stress over, for example. I'd say you're perfectly fine, just a different personality, a woman, a minority, living in a society that is becoming increasingly isolated in the middle of a pandemic. Don't stress, it's not you. In fact, you're doing really well! Have a conciliatory pet bear:

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@Strangeloop You could be demisexual. Took me a while to figure out that's what I am. I'm positive I'm straight, but 99% of girls don't really interest me and physical attractiveness doesn't have that much to do with it. I've never had any of the issues with self-control that a lot of guys seem to struggle with either. You could also be a giant gay-lord though. Just let it out if that's the case.

Haha, good one. I decided skydiving is probably not such a good idea for a few more months at least. I need to use my bad arm to reach around my back to deploy my chute. It's kind of hard to do that at the moment. It's funny, quite a lot of people with a fear of heights do it and say it doesn't affect them at all. The earth is just so far away it feels like you'll never hit it. It's probably like looking at the sun and being scared you are going to fall into it, quite irrational when you think about it. Hope you're doing alright. Apparently, my man Gautama was a bit of a craftsman himself.

@Preety_India Well done, very brave of you.

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Got it.

This is how I would define 'equanimity', as I use the word, and how I interpret Shinzen using it when describing it as an aspect of mindfulness in his formulas. That's all I'm really interested in developing here. Equanimity, once developed, contains within in it the memory of all previous 'reality tests' as you seem to say, although not as a function of working memory, as I understand it. My level of equanimity hadn't developed deeply enough to meet the constant low-level pain. That's what I meant. I try not to either, but I guess it's implied because of the cultural narrative as you say. I don't really care about 'success' or 'failure' in conventional terms either. Appreciate your insight, I wish I could use words like that.

That's really smart. I wish I had done that or had a process to do this effectively. I forget all the shit I've been through pretty easily and don't pay any mind to it, even though it's there unconsciously. I hadn't heard the term "contrast bias" before, but after reading the definition I realized I am actually doing the same thing at the moment. In January I signed up for a 100mile ultra-marathon taking place in June. I got the inspiration after listening to an interview with Cameron Hanes on the JRE podcast. I have time-stamped the video below to the part where he discusses "contrast bias" development in his kids after he started slowly applying it to them and himself. Pretty amazing guy. I figured I can run/walk and train my mind with that while my shoulder recovers. I wanted to start lifting seriously this year, but that vision was shattered so I had to adjust. I bought a second-hand treadmill and have started building a process to work towards finishing the race. I'm reminded of Shinzen young's old mindfulness formula's where he says that: Purification = Pain * mindfulness Suffering = Pain * resistance This experience has taught me that with relatively low-grade, constant pain (that's with you 24/7) it becomes quite difficult to remain mindful and fully equanimous all the time. Resistance creeps in unconsciously and so the suffering creeps in as well. I'd say it's more difficult to be mindful 24/7 with low-grade pain than intensely mindful during an intense period of acute pain. So while the amplitude of suffering and amplitude of pain aren't so high, but the 'volume' is, if you know what I mean. Of course, it also offers the opportunity for really high 'volume' purification which I didn't capitalize on because I wasn't really aware of what was slowly happening to me. It was kind of this slow death over 6 weeks that I was all strapped up. I can learn from it and apply it to similar events that might happen in the future. Thanks for the kind words @Preety_India . You know, after pondering this contrast bias stuff and everything I've personally experienced, I can honestly say that NOTHING compares to a broken heart.