Libra

As the title points out I'd like to discuss approaches to deal with hypersexuality. Imagine the feeling you have during the late phase of a come-up to a massive trip, just before you settle in on the peak. Then imagine the feeling when a gorgeous woman sits on your lap moments before you're about to get into it. Combine these two and you have my everyday 24/7 bodily sensation. Welcome to hypersexuality. I've always had a very high sex drive. Ever since I hit puberty. With girlfriends or FWB I would minimally have sex 3 times daily, and could easily fuck all day, still can. Naturally I had to dispose of all this energy through other means. Which is what lead me down the path exercise and athletics at first, and then of spiritual development. Sacral energy is a powerhouse. I exercise on a professional level, have enormous capacity for creativity, productivity and movement. But it is certainly a double-edged sword. Since the very sexual nature of this energy permeates my body, that becomes its natural attraction. I have not met a single woman in my life that haven't given me the opportunity to fuck her merely through exposure of my presence. You'd think this must be a gift of the gods, and that well may be, but its fucking difficult to manage and that's why I'm here. In order to direct this energy to enable creativity, productivity and exercise, require infrastructure. I needed failsafes in place, reminders, tools, and I need to be very focused. I've practiced meditation for 8 years, been to vipassana retreats and filled my days with things I am passionate about. My phone is riddled with blocking systems to stop me from accessing tinder and the likes. And of course I have had women. Despite the hypersexuality I haven't been with multitudes, rather I have keep them in FWB situations as I could never manage that amount of casual encounters. As shameful it is to admit, I have used porn to help satiate this. About 30min every other day or so for many years. However, as my personal development and growth has accumulated its been a thorn in my side. Finally, before Christmas, I quit cold turkey. I then tried retention for as long as I could. Naturally, a hint of universal irony must be bestowed and my FWB situations all came to a halt. Now imagine each heart beat pulsates sexual energy throughout your chest, in the same magnitude of sensation as if you were on MDMA. Your dick shooting a fucking raindbow of hornyness through your stomach and up your spine engaging each heart beat, your mind being trashed about within your skull with incessant absorption into sexual desire. I feel destabilized and its immensely difficult to manage this excess of sexual energy. I could not imagine that porn absorbed this much. The destabilization have a domino effect, as its distracting me from using this energy on other means, which only provides with more sexual energy in the system as a whole. I only have exercise and meditation remaining to fall back on, which luckily has remained mostly unaffected. I'm a raging hornymonster at the moment and I can't manage to stabilize. My last resort plan is to take a larger dose of mushrooms as soon as possible and hopefully through its guidance I'll find some balance on the other side. What are your thoughts on this? What are your advice, experiences or the likes with hypersexuality in general?

@Origins Fascinating, the follow up then is how to enable the heart? What are some methods to practice this unification? Do you have any literature I might delve into to further expand on this?

Fellow actualizers, I am in need of guidance. Lets discuss the mechanisms behind the discrepancies of action and mind. And how to break free from the default mode network (ego) and to balance mind and action. --- To elaborate on my perspective, I got throttled into actualization in my late teens (18-20) through psychedelic usage and a heavy duty curiosity, which shattered my sense of self, identity, sparked an insatiable curiosity and placed me in a wild limbo that have taken years to sort and which still is pretty slushy. I probably over-used psychedelics in the early days, mostly going for the most midfucks (although mindfucks were always things that break down reality and existence itself), so most trips where somewhat spiritually eventful. Albeit there was zero integration. Which accumulated a large repository of "theory" and a massive discrepancy of MIND and ACTION. Which I still struggle with to this date. The later psychedelic experiences where gradually reduced to superficials rather than breakthroughs due to this particular train of thought: "I know what I have to do, I have to integrate and learn in order to balance the discrepancy between mind and action before I'll allow myself another breakthrough, so that I can build a solid foundation rather than a house of glass". A hang up the phone when you get the message type of thing. Which makes sense, although now its been 5 years since the last breakthrough trip, all other trips have been superficial. And there has been a rather disappointing decline in my curiosity and drive towards the mystical. Which do correlate with a lot of science on psychology and the default mode network becoming more rigid as we progress through our mid-late twenties. This tallies to a rather insignificant change in behavior (i.e. integration) when we circle back to that train of thought above. Now at 25 I still feel this massive discrepancy between the actions I vision to pursue and the actions I actually perform. This unimaginably powerful resistance, that always manage to pull life back into this rudimentary state of a pleasure seeking comfortable sack of meat that I was in my early teens. The most frustrating aspect being that I have experienced life at the other end, and I envision to break free and return to a state of challenge and plasticity. Yet, when I wake up in the morning this blanket of legitimate physiological force keeps me in a state of lowered frequency that engulf my energies and cast me into a primal comfort seeking being. Now, this isn't every day, responsibilities seems as of now to be the main drive for action. However, when there are no responsibilities for a day, the meatsack returns instantly. Currently, around 40-50% of my week have sufficient responsibility demands allowing me to perform some main actions that are actualizing, such as reading, writing, project work and contemplation. The other half of the week is just abhorring. I feel a large lack of satisfaction with my performance, particularly in comparison with earlier performances. Which is why I'm writing this. When it comes to exercise however, there seems to be this universal exception whereby I have athlete-level performance regardless of any other responsibilities. I've observed a particularly interesting circle in my life, that follows this. I find life in these states of low frequency behavior, whereby the discrepancy is massive, which ultimately lead to increasing frustration and restlessness - which then explode into a period of rather impressive performance and general high freq behaviors, only to come crashing down spectacularly. I wouldn't have minded this that much if it weren't for the low freq being over-represented. There seems to be almost a all-or-nothing type of pattern to these states. Now, what are some strategies that facilitate a re-balance of mind and action, how can I return to this sense of every action being of intentional integrity rather than a sleepy grasp or a restlessly frustrated catch-up. A recurring thought is that I might just be a little to harsh with myself, which admittedly I probably am. Although when you know you can do better it becomes rather difficult to just let that potential dissipate. There is some discomfort in this discrepancy that just cant be neglected. What are your insights?