Lucasxp64

She was the one that wanted to close me. But I think she's just being friendly, but that's progress for me already. Looks wise and personality so far seems wife material. I just went for a walk without any intentions of doing approaches, last approach I did was a month ago and I had got laid but she broke up due to reasons outside of my control. I basically just did chit-chatting about her dog and said I had a similar one, and she already asked for a photo to see her. She was proactive to ask me what I did (study, work, etc) and I just began showing authoritative knowledge in business/marketing, and she was interested in improving her career and when we got back home she ask for my contact info to continue talking and handed her phone to me to find myself on Instagram. We have been having some light chit-chatting. But regardless of any kind of results, I'm so glad that I was able to do that so automatically without thinking twice because I found her attractive from far away and went towards her direction and tried to find a good approach angle that would be natural. I didn't display nervousness, I was super chill. I even let myself stare into her eyes for 4 good seconds several times while trying to recall some information saying absolutely nothing. Even if she is not interested and attracted, I feel like it's a win that I was able to make her feel safe and interested in at least talking to me. That's a good base level to work from going forward. I actually did groom my beard and my hair was all messy for 2 weeks now, and I had groomed myself to go to a church event but I got there too late, and I just decided to take a walk instead, and this opportunity came. I wasn't even meant to go out of my house and I was feeling kinda like crap, but it happened. Last time I got laid similarly. I'm not good looking, I'm average at best, skinny, not muscular, suspicious curly hair, patchy beard, sneakers looked dirty, and my clothing didn't look stylish. I'm not sure that overtime the house of cards would go down because I basically have the same clothings and I'm completely broke if I showed up for dates (last time the date was just to talk sitting on the bench and we went for her house within the same day lmao). But it was nice not to feel like I'm repulsive lol. But I can just be chill and carry a conversation, tease and make a few jokes.

GAME OVER She just denied going out with me just for a walk outside after she asked "Are we going as friends?" I had a feeling that it would have been too fast for a woman that attractive, but at the same time this kind of game had worked for me in the past, so I did err on the side of being polarizing. But it wasn't out of nowhere, I had left hints before, and I did have this style of humor already and she seemed to like it. She had left me signs of interest, but they were of non-romantic/sexual nature. So from early on, I already suspected. But whatever, I'm glad I did it, just a technicality, and if she really liked me she would have responded well, and I think it was the best timing to show clear man-to-woman otherwise it would have felt too slow for my style. Now I'll try to save this friendship at least, it would be enjoyable. But if I lost that, that's no issue to, but I'd be a little sad if I lost her as a friend too.

Yes and no. There is a visceral acknowledgement that comes when put awareness on your emotions the right way. But one way is just faking it until you make it. Like I did that with meditation and dating and it start sipping into other areas of my life that emotional understanding of the fabrication you do. Adopt a probabilistic mindset. Dating is probabilistic, I know that getting bad results messes up with your mind, but it's like a Trader learning to trade with a specific winning strategy, but what if he was so emotionally shaken that he can't even execute the technique to ever see any results? Or like he doesn't even try the right stuff, his mind is full of bullshit that leads him into being a monkey just worrying about the wrong kind of information and never putting enough practice into the specific winning strategy that he was taught. Those strategies will not work with certainty, because markets are probabilistic, but as volume increases, the true skill will appear... Classic Leo Gura episode that speaks exactly about what happens when you put more awareness into your emotions for example, you begin realizing and noticing stuff that will help you, eventually it starts sinking into you that knowledge as you keep regarding it highly on a daily basis.

This is what I feel so far: She seems willing to become a better person because she looks up to me as a person She engages with my humor, which makes her fun I like the sound of her voice and the way she speaks, she sounds so warm. This is very important to me. Her taste in music seems great. But we didn't talk too much, I'd say 50 engaging messages back and forth and 15 minutes of conversation in person. I'm just concerned that she came into my life in the wrong moment, I'm so broke. She is probably the kind that wants to be going out a lot, but that's an assumption. Considering that she stated that she likes in me is intelligence, logically it will be a massive turn off for her once she realizes I don't have my shit together and she will feel like I can't provide on the leadership she seems to crave. I feel like we might go out on a date on the shopping mall just for sitting there, but even then, I'm afraid she would mention going by Uber or on eating something, and I'll have to stand on my frame of some excuse why I can't be spending not even 5-10 dollars right... Of course I'd try to lead and say "we are going by bus", "we are going to just sit somewhere there to talk". But even the girl I did date last month was like a 5/10 would have wanted to be going out to places that requires spending some money. It would have been an issue. Now I imagine a solid 8-9/10 like her, the dudes that she dates must pay her even expensive dinners, and driving her around. I wouldn't mind spending money going out if I had the resources. Hell, if I was making enough money I'd even gift her this month the expensive medicine her dog needs to show that I'm generous. Maybe a simp move, but I'd only do that after she dated me and we made out at least.

Trying to get her on a date somewhere outside of our neighbourhood where we live so she doesn't feel shy for making out with me, to build emotional and physical comfort in person. Also I hope she lives on her own (I didn't ask yet), so we could make out and fondle, and have pillow talk, and spend quality time together completely in private. But so far she didn't seem bothered by me living with my parents, even though I know that reduces her perceived value of me. I suspect that she thinks that I'm somewhat rich because I'm intelligent verbally in business theory... Now the frame I must hold is one of potential, sell her my potential, like I always did before. I can't let our communications stay just friendly, I must keep building our intimacy. At least yesterday we teased each other, today I expect the text teasing to get heavier, but I'll keep it classy and go with her flow in text, what matter here is getting her as private as possible to spend quality time together with physical contact.

For me, rejection was hell, but the worst was not rejection itself. It was when someone acted bipolar about me, switching on and off, leaving me corroded inside. I would rather face an honest “no” than that toxic uncertainty. I learned to reframe rejection: sometimes the conditions of success are simply not there. Maybe she is not in the mood, maybe she is already in a relationship, maybe she is not my type, or we are so incompatible that forcing it would only make me miserable. Rejection can be a blessing, opening space for the right woman. Dating feels random, frustrating, yet it is also our advantage. Action turns probabilities into reality. My seven-year streak of "failure" was not fate, it was inaction and clinging to toxic chances. (I did get content with toxic long-distance relationships, because I don't have my things handled yet). When I finally acted the right way more frequently, I had some success with women I never expected, even if yet it didn't lead to a girlfriend. Rejection frees energy for the right woman, who might appear right after the last “no.” But if rejection shakes me emotionally, I risk losing her before even trying. We feel pain for the losses we see, yet ignore the unseen ones, the women who never entered our lives because we froze. Imagine those alternative realities that you lost, not just in dating, but in your career, in personal development, in your own emotional development through journaling and meditative practices... There is work to be done here about those feelings, action and experience is supposed to improve your inner life after setbacks. Adapt, even if adapting means letting go from the burden of feeling pressured to have a girlfriend right now, so you can focus on your inner life and career. But emotionally, in your inner game, you're also growing for dating better. I've seen the mistake of many guys out there, they are so defeatist that things such as spirituality becomes poisoned to them because they are so hyper-fixated on getting women, they inner game is rotten, they have no inner peace, getting rejected by one random girl affirms all of this psychotic defeatist inner mindset that knows nothing of probabilistic mindset.

🤯 Bro. I just got a 9/10 interested in me on a walk outside simply because I managed to train myself reduce my approach anxiety. I barely do approaches, my energy is what made her attracted. I'm a average looking dude. AND SHE SAID WHAT CAUGHT HER ATTENTION WAS MY INTELLIGENCE and my laid back funny personality. I attracted similar looking women before online, but they lived way too far to met. I didn't think I could replicate that in person. I can barely believe it, I go into more details in my post.

🤯 WHAT THE HECK. She did admit to me yesterday that she likes me, that she found me intelligent and likes my personality. I'm in awe, even if this doesn't even go anywhere. But I'll keep treating her normally like any other girl. All the time I wasted doing chatting with women that lives too far to met has paid off, but I could have seized so much more opportunity in person, my assumptions were so wrong.

Find an excuse to hold and look at her hand like if she has some ring, or do a bullshit palm reading about her future, that can be a reason to keep holding it. But of course that needs to be very calibrated contextually. Look up "kino escalation ladder", but physical escalation comes very natural, but I remember when I did that at some point, I already knew they liked me, so I went much more confident with my physical advances. I have great chat/phone game, so ever date that I went it was already obvious to both of us that we liked each other.

His ego is limitless. He will use that money to destroy our democracies. I doubt he will use it for good. And that's on the hopes Tesla reaches several times its current evaluation. It might as well be that Trump buys from him millions of Tesla cars for government agencies, and right there we have the one of the biggest corruption scandals in history right there alongside colonialism on a scale similar to literally empires with a king.

Rockstar has had a bunch of internal issues that they were going through. One of them was the overworking culture. Another one was the toxicity boys dorm kind of stuff. And something to do with management changes. We hope at least that the GTA VI won't have lost too much of its personality due to those culture changes, like becoming too politically correct and losing its dark humor. GTA 4 had the best personality I think. The protagonist Niko Bellic was a great character. This one was a side mission where he helped a drug addict prostitute get back to her family

👿🔥 To burn some karma. Indulge in some little unhinged fun. 😇 I hope I can become a Übermensch to kill God himself in GTA VI for such a wait. Making Nietzsche and Freud proud.

😎 Godlessness is gone! God is not dead no longer, we brought him back to life! 😎

What I also see is that... When I focus on the core most important things such as my emotional regulation, self-control and clarity of strategic decision-making and I'm able to act on it. It improves my self-esteem even if the results didn't come yet, it makes my mind shaper and more well-rounded because it's not so much of the specific skills, but how it puts me on a better mental state as well, and that transfers. I definitely right now should focus more on getting stuff done than grinding out trying to find a girlfriend considering I don't have yet that fulfilment from the financial freedom I need. That will allow me to free my mind up from all the stupid petty survival concerns (i.e. that makes us feel like a loser, because we are actually handicapped financially to have high quality free time and money for logistics, for going out, for free up our mind to think of high quality strategies to find the women we want, etc) That "loser" mental state that we are in is very real, and it improves with first "believe it until you make it" kind of attitude, we got have high conviction that focusing on our most important things and work, etc, will get us in a better situation and trusting that we will figure it out over time.

You're welcomed! I kinda wrote it because I feel like I'm in a similar situation and I've fallen for the same mental traps. I think that our minds are very predictable, time and time again I see in me the same mental mechanisms playing out in others. Here is a system prompt I like using with ChatGPT/Gemini 2.5 PRO inside of Google AI Studio: It helps me deconstruct everything and it questions even what I say to find flaws in my thinking.

I watched the video. It's pretty scary seeing people trusting it. I'd recommend for people to play around with an actual auto-completer LLM model to see how psychotic the core tech is before it's "fine-tuned" as in chat mode. Back at the GPT-2, GPT-3, (or open source models like GPT-J) kind of model. Maybe just play around with some dumb 1B parameter model to see the hallucinations more clearly. The "modern" LLMs are merely an improved version of that garbage, they return to that psychotic state very easily, it's just an illusion the modern fine-tuning.

I'm not gonna lie, I did use LLMs before for romantic roleplaying, but it felt really empty because it doesn't feel and think like a regular human being, it's learning capabilities are too shallow, the way it structures its thoughts is psychotic as heck, the bigger the context window, the bigger the conversation, the more disconnected from reality it becomes, and it carries you deeper and deeper into your own mental inner flaws. It has helped me tremendously to develop more mental clarity, but at the same time if I'm using it from a sense of deep emotional need or not mentally grounded, it becomes very toxic, very quickly. If you feel like talking with an AI has been having negative effects or carrying you deeper into your negative idiosyncrasies, you should talk more with humans. They have cognitive limits that makes them prone to disconnection from reality, psychosis and hallucinations.

Depth does matter, but you gotta know how to sell it, it becomes a niche that can separate you from boring dudes, but you have to develop a resistance towards rejection to find the kind of girl that you will resonate/vibe with. Be a 10 in your own game, not a 5/10 in someone else's game. Secondly, this 2e is a good "umbrella term" which was able to communicate to me what you're probably like, but it's very low resolution, and the solution to your inner mental/emotional calibration problems is much more specific than this. Here's how I see a 2e: You probably got good at some things because of hyper-fixation which happens through any condition that lowers your self-control, which is connected to high neuroticism/anxiety, which is connected to low acceptance of uncertainty as well. You need to see yourself in higher resolution. Surely you are "socially dumb" right now. But, you can work at those things. Literally just check mentally how many hours total in your life you spent tried to develop the mental qualities that would improve your social game, and you will see you're spending a lot of time on hyper-fixating on things that don't overlap much with being hyper-social. You must gradually shift that, use your powers of self-reflection for good, tap into that energy that you felt or you think you must feel when socializing, when talking to a woman for the sake of dating. Like remember every single good interaction you had with women and what you felt like and the energy you gave. You should get off from your logical mind and embody more your emotions and intuition, this is why your mind is so tilted towards some directions and you're not well-rounded in others. Try to trace the actual emotional/mental state causation that leads you to be "bad" at all of that stuff you wanna improve, and you will see that you are actually able to fabricate at will those things, or at least practice even if takes months or years to get those states more reliably, it starts inside that change. You can progressively increase your challenges. For example I used to be very shy and awkward when I was younger, but in those last years I've been more in touch with my emotions and when I'm vibing to some great music I started trying to do some dancing to it by just letting go, and I get impressed how natural it feels to me to be doing such movements, all alone, and I never watched a single video talking about "how to dance". Leo Gura wrote in his blog about this, and I was intuitively doing that unprompted. https://www.actualized.org/insights/teach-yourself-how-to-dance YOUR MAJOR PROBLEM IS NOT EVEN GETTING A GIRLFRIEND. IT'S THAT YOU HAVE POOR INNER EMOTIONAL UNDERSTANDING = POOR ABILITY TO FABRICATE THE PROPER EMOTIONAL STATES, and the RIGHT EXPECTATIONS of what it takes and how to feel good about it. You're already even coming up with the fallacies of "I'm 31. I have been bullied. I've been called this or that by people. I'm so this or that", which is good in the context of this forum so we know more about you, but don't let that become a ghost that hunts you down inside of you, that's the first step. I'm not saying just the labels, I'm saying even the hard cold factual truths that you're badly developed in many ways. But this, again, don't let that past karma decide your future, and fall for the fallacy that you haven no agency, and that cause and effect doesn't exist. You're the by-product of how you lived your life, what your mind clings to, what your mind is driven towards, and you're inside of it, awareness itself is curative. IMPROVE YOUR INNER VOCABULARY, drop the social bullshit labels you give yourself, it will drag you down. You have VERY VERY SPECIFIC ISSUES, nothing you said here clones close to the level of awareness you will need, it ain't the social labels, it ain't "she will think I'm a loser" level that will grow you, that is the social conditioning interpersonal communication, inside of you it's 1000x more nuanced, connect with that depth. If you don't think you have it, develop it then. Are you even journaling, bro? This is the stuff you will learn through meditation, what you should aim from mediation/journaling/visualisation sessions. Also a technical tip on getting a girlfriend... Just lower your standards so you can at least feel what is the dynamic of a woman liking you back, I did that, and I'm glad, even though on the long-run I'd move on to someone better. --- I recommend the classic leo gura episodes, you gotta start from the start.

Gosh, people are so easily fooled by words.

I always hold all of this inside behind a façade of stability and knowing what I'm doing. This image sums it up. This mix of so much inner suffering and .... (Formatting done on purpose) "FUCK! THIS WILL TAKE FUCKING FOREVER AND SO MUCH EFFORT AND TIME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE GHOSTED! AHH I CAN'T MET HER! AHH I'm BROKE, IT WILL TAKE MONTHS TO START TURNING PROFIT OR GOD KNOWS WHEN. AHHHHH I HAVE NO PRIVACY!! AHHH! I HOOKED UP WITH THE NEIGHBOUR CHICK BUT SHE CAME BACK TO HER EX AND I WAS JUST A REBOUND, BUT SHE WASN'T EVEN THAT HOT ANYWAYS SO I HAD SUCCESS JUST BECAUSE I LOWERED MY STANDARDS! AHHH I DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WOULD GO THIS FAR, AND I HAVE JUST 20 DOLLARS FOR EMERGENCY USE, I CAN'T USE IT FOR A BUS TICKET. AHHH WHY DO I KEEP WASTING TIME TALKING TO WOMEN THAT LIVES SO FAR AWAY BUT THE ONES THAT ARE CLOSE ARE NOT EVEN CLOSE ENOUGH ANYWAYS. AHHHH I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT KIND SKILL OUT OF ALL OF THOSE IS THE MOST OPTIMAL FOR BUILDING AN AGENCY!! AHHH WHAT IF I END UP GETTING STUCK AGAIN JUST AT SOME STUPID HOBBY PROJECT AND I DON'T ACTUALLY TRY TO FIND CLIENTS AND DELIVER ON A SPECIFIC PAIN POINT AND THEY ARE AWFUL! WHAT IF I PROCRASTINATE AGAIN THIS AFTERNOON, AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, AND I SPEND TIME JUST MICROANALYZING EVERYTHING AND THE SUFFERING ITSELF FEEDS ON ITSELF AND KEEPS ME FEELING LIKE THIS AND KEEPS FEEDBACK LOOPING NEGATIVELY, AND I MASTURBATE PROFUSELY TO TIKTOK TO EASE THE SELF-ESTEEM LOSS I FEEL FROM NOT HAVING HAD AN ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND FOREVER. AHHHHH WHY I AM LOSING TRUST LITERALLY IN CAUSE AND EFFECT AND STARTING TO CREATE NARRATIVES THAT SEEMS MORE LIKE SUPERSTITION, AND I FEEL LIKE MY ACTIONS ARE MEANINGLESS. BUT OF COURSE IT FEELS LIKE SO, BECAUSE YOUR ACTIONS DIDN'T GENERATE THE BREAKTHROUGHS THAT WOULD HAVE FELT MEANINGFUL ENOUGH FOR YOU TO CALL MEANINGFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING A RESULTS-ORIENTED FRAMING, OF COURSE IT WOULD. AHHHHHHHH NOOOO... WHY HAVE A LET TIME SLIP BY FOR YEARS AND TENS OF THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF LIFE AND HAVE HAD ONLY THE RESULTS I DID. WHY DIDN'T I ACTUALLY FACE THE ACTUAL PROBLEMS THEMSELVES AS OPPOSED TO AVOIDING AND TRYING FOREPLAY PROBLEMS AND NEVER HAVING ENOUGH MOMENTUM... BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHY, I KNOW EVERY DETAIL OF HOW AND WHY I HAD WHAT I HAD, THAT'S BECAUSE I NEVER TRULY HAD THE INTENT OF ACHIEVING ANY OF IT, AND I ONLY HAD RESULTS TO THE EXTENT THAT INTENT LASTED AND WITH THE ENERGY AND MOMENTUM OF THE EFFORT I HAD PUT FORTH... 🎯👀... I SEE IT ALL, AWARENESS OF HINDISIGHT SHOWS ALL OF MY MISTAKES CLEARLY, YET I AM HERE. YET I DON'T HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER, I don't have the income, the portfolio, the money, the place, the privacy, the logistics, the clothing, enough shampoo and a nice haircut, the dating life I need to find that high quality girl, the energy to run the whole full-time/part-time high-effort "business" of finding her. Not being worried and crippled and obessed about basic money crap like losing the data on my computer or my phone, or being able to try different foods to see which ones would be more dense so I feel less of a afternoon slump and have more energy, and the money for buying indoor workout equipment or the gym, and the protein intake, and them money to fix my teeth, fix the scars I have on my arms with laser treatement that a girl might see, the money to pay for investing in the business models I want to try, the money to have peace of mind that I can keep buying my eyedrops to avoid the painful the corneal erosians that I used to have because I have some dry eye syndrome specially when I'm focusing a lot in front of my computer, that I have the 20 dollars now for to go to the ER in the other city in case it happens so the doctor checks, which I can't use for anything else but that, and even that money was borrowed from a female friend that I wanted to date and had a crush on me 4 months ago. YET I DON'T HAVE YET THE ACTUAL INTENT TO DO SO. YET I STILL KEEP THE SAME KIND OF HOPE, WHICH IS ILLOGICAL TO USE, BUT YET I KEEP NOT ACTING ON IT FULLY BECAUSE MY RESOLVE IS WEAK, AND DAYS TURNS INTO WEEKS, WEEKS INTO MONTHS AND YEARS OF DISCREET EVENTS THAT LEAD TO THE PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES. 10 fucking years"

But the suffering of survival is still very real, and it feels like it's a machine meant to grind me down in slow motion. It even gives me time to sit down and meditate, yet it keeps on grinding after I get up. I either chisel the ego into being more useful to its own survival, or there are no alternatives. I don't think transcending it would be a choice it will still exist, because I either chisel it into a tool, or it will get butchered by time into a formless blob of mediocre suffering. At least it will happen to die someday (which time inevitably will do), seeing a better shape I could have shaped it into.

This is the stream of consciousness of somebody deep in the trenches, and this is only the tip of the iceberg of my concerns and problems. This is a feedback loop. And I'm quite versed in personal development theory, I know all the little tips and tricks, yet the amount of fucking work and problems ain't gonna disappear by itself. This standard of a 'having the good life' is carved through your fucking blood in an endless battle against yourself, loss of momentum cause by yourself, your environment and others. Specially if you picked goals in your life that are specially harder and you are not specially the kind of person that is into doing a lot of work for others and you're the intellectual recluse type, but hyper-aware and full of inner conflict and guilts which makes you bounce back to back like a monkey inside of a cage trying to align all of his inner values and tendencies towards the greatest points of inflection that will unravel all of that mess of your life that emotionally feels like an untameable mess, unless you keep your head straight, this gonna make you lose faith in cause and effect and strategic thinking itself, it will corrode your mind into a pudding that seemingly socially appear stable, but the long-term action taking is as stupid as thinking that gravity doesn't exist, in other words... You will lose faith that actions that gives results will give results, because your memory is rotten with your past failed attempts and your worries and concerns, and you won't be contextually aware to changes that are actually giving you space to get the results you have always been seeking. I think that by the point I start having the major results I want, I won't even think it's such a big deal of so much fucking shit I had to go through to even begin to pound into my brain to mould into a machine to get those results.

I had woman treating me bipolarly about how attracted they were to me. This did hurt my self-esteem very deeply in the past. I'd rather be single than emotionally entangled with someone treating me bipolarly, that damages my psychology like nothing else I experienced.