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Every year that goes by and I don't have a woman to give all of that romantic love, I feel like it was a year that was devoid of a medium of expression that I feel pulsating very strongly inside. It's like... Why do we listen to music or look at the birds fly? it feels like if music and birds were gone. Some people couldn't care less about birds or music.
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That's why cold messages on regulat social media is superior. Woman expect too little of men in those apps. Those apps were absolutely useless to me... Use them to scoop up their Instagrams and DM them instead. Also I have no idea if most of those woman even uninstalled the dating app already or will be online there long enough to talk. on Instagram at least they got that thing basically embedded into their phone, like, the equivalent of the clock app for men to keep themselves on time. 😂 I never saw a woman without Instagram. They are addicted to that thing, since they are superior social creatures to the average cave-man monk mode enjoyer meditating for the 6th time in the day after relapsing his no-fap streak.
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I just wanted connection with an enlightened being, and she turned me down even after acknowledging each other as being part of the same fabric of existence (I still love her, and always will, she's an amazing human being)
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I have this (perhaps weird) fantasy, that if I had a good girlfriend (ergg, and lived in my own place, and was financially secure), I'd become this beacon of high energy, basically have good self-esteem and keep conquering my goals back-to back, including spiritual. But I guess it's probably a pipe dream, if she is at least mentally stable I'd be extremely grateful already. Amen! But there is plenty of guys that have girlfriends (The so called unicorns), that actually have low self-esteem and are full of self-doubt, and it blows my brains off. Point being... Both people have to be very in sync to improve on each other. Otherwise it's just a fuck fest (literally).
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Lucasxp64 started following Dating Section
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LOL. Makes me remember of this female friend that I have online (She is not in the forum). She is pretty conscious and accepting, like, even does nude art and stuff. But I had been so lonely, I'd always send her emails to her as an outlet, I'd creatively sprinkle my sexual desire there in long texts I'd write to her in form of... creative writing. Again, she was very spiritual. And my devil lil desperate hungry ghost mind would cling to it. One day she thought it was too personal, and told me to get a real girlfriend and she was getting uncomfortable lol. I thought it would be a funny post to write about this story.
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I think anything about humans are never precise. It's always probabilistic. It's perfectly within possibility for a homeless guy to marry an attractive woman. It's just unlikely. If a homeless guy tried enough, with enough woman, and he developed himself emotionally, he could definitely make a woman have uncontrollable pity for him, if he really gets into her mind. Like, I get this idea that if we took an average guy and gave him a lot of fame, he would get lady. But the average guy isn't famous by definition, therefore he isn't average anymore.
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I'm the opposite, I think about what they want even before approaching, and I think, there is no way any woman would want a broke hobo like me, but somehow they fall in love. What could I give her? Basically just wrap her up with a ton of love. On wait, I had just wasted years doing exactly that, but I did bite the "Blue Pill" too hard back then and I did that hundreds of times for a single woman, perhaps, I'm on to something here... What if I had instead of being dumb doing it online with a single woman... I had done it locally, and kept going for a new woman whenever the current woman is unsatisfied with me after the initial attraction wears off. I might have been so much happier, perhaps my self-esteem would have been so much higher of getting this out of my system that I'd have had further progress economically and spiritually by not being tied down by this like a hungry ghost eating be from the inside. I did so much selfless stuff for love, it feels retarded. But wasn't really selfless, it was just coming from fear and low self-esteem, and maybe 40% of actually wanting to dive heads deep into that kind of love. Some say men or women are incapable of that. But I think, it's people doing the right things with the wrong people. Maybe, it might have that I get involved in an accident or acquire a disease and just physically become actually really ugly, then all of those fantasies I have about love would be thrown out of the window. I remember seeing a lady with her face with lots of burn scars, and I could see that she would have been so gorgeous without all of those scars, maybe that kind of woman would be my type if I had some facial accident.
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Lucasxp64 started following The harsh truth about women -Nietsche
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It's all survival. Even the niceness and romance is survival, that need to feel emotionally accepted by somebody. A hardcore, spiritually independent person from sensorial experience is just fine with eating insects to survive and living in a literal cave. I'm the weak one that craves companionship. Unable to suppress latent instinctual desires or desires built through meaning. Even the want for food is weakness that makes you move yourself to chew it, so you don't die. By weakness, I mean, anything that keeps you from being able to just sit down and chill in complete contentment. But even the Buddha was against extreme asceticism (deemed unnecessary for the practices to lead to his kind of enlightenment), he said "the middle path" where you keep just essentials (what you need to keep practicing daily the dhamma), but don't torture yourself on purpose is the best. Personally I just embraced the reality, and how I can build my fantasies within it if I put the right resources in place. i.e: Give a mentally stable woman that I find attractive what they want and I'll mostly get what I want reciprocally. The woman I like also want to delude themselves like me to live the romantic fantasy within the confines of relationship where we exchange other kinds of value. We like tucking that stuff away, it's a turn off and emotionally messed up. For the woman that I'd get emotionally close enough to get involved like that, they already perceived at that moment enough value, then, poof, of course, next moment it could be they see that I can't provide all the value they want, so they simply break out of the fantasy and go have it with somebody else and simply forget what has happened. Paradoxically, the illusion of love in a relationship always comes with affirmations we would only reserve for gods, despite the truth being the opposite, we want even for a moment to play pretend our adoration as if we were gods. I feel utterly worshiped and adored, the words of affirmation of being told I'll be loved by them until the day we die, the way they say they want to cuddle and caress me, and to sexually satisfy me, be sexually playful in bed, as opposed to the slightly depressing opposite of cuming on a paper and flushing it down after beating one off for some random image on the internet in a random day, like some animal alone in a cage.
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JUMP TO: 8:45
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I understood him. He is basically betting for the near future where we just get better AI that can overtake more jobs, behave human-like, be a talking-head on social media, and the AI slop won't be slop anymore and nobody will care, they will just consume and buy from the AIs, kind like when people get into that hooked state when they are looking for porn, and don't care what they are looking at, and it only matters that it turns them on. But the twist going from: "You should use technology for leverage, not for companionship" is that, this is exactly the problem, we are wounded already, and hopefully we can use it help heal ourselves (We don't really need it. I tried it, it's most distracting and it's like trying to become a better programmer by doing "Vibe Coding" -- Look up the term. It only makes you not develop your mental skills of programming, it makes you realiant on the machine, that produces code fast but that won't scale because it doesn't have actual general intelligence like we do, we are slow to learn, but we are unstoppable with the complexity of what we can do). I once had this weird thought: What if I got a Sex Doll, Bought the most expensive VR glasses, and just listened to ASMR and porn as love-making, and used Sesame AI as a conversationalist, and use Image Generator to produce images of woman that have just exact physical appearance I want. I'd become a fucking zombie. That is literally the matrix right there. I personally already closed a pact with myself to pursue a high quality good enough real woman, like, think the conservative way, excluding perhaps the having children part. The psychosomatic interfacing with a high quality real person is not like all of that crap combined. It's not some stupid interface full of fucking ads, it's a person that knows me, cares about me, has emotional intelligence to understand me, and I can talk with and has the same biological system that I do. Those AIs are off. Those AIs, as emotionally intelligent as they appear, are basically just some glorified interactive book (Due to the fact I know it is a cheap simulacra of current biological mechanisms), perhaps slapping a realistic human voice on it like Sesame AI did.
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Lucasxp64 started following Letho : Infinite
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There is absolutely no way, even being naturally introverted like I'm (But I do have so minimal consciousness work, self-awareness), to do this much pick up action, and not get a girlfriend. Literally can get a girlfriend within a week, consistently, but... Online. They always live too far. LMAO. I'm average looking. It must be that I know what to say to make a girl fall in love with me. I probably know how to walk that fine line between being sexual and romantic with them with my words: Here is the vibes I give: I'm romantic, but at the same time I'm very passionate about connecting sexually with them. The sexual connection comes through emotional connection with them. I open myself up emotionally to them, and I'm very detailed to them about the ways I want them, and how it would make me feel, and how I wanna make them feel. I show to them all the passion I have for them, I wrap them up with my stories, I can go on and on with them about fantasies of how delicious to both of us it would be. I give passion vibes. Unquenchable passion vibes, passion for emotional and sexual connection. But like I said, I couldn't move further due to financial constraints. I just fucking suck at my finances right now, so I can't go out lmao. But it feels very miserable, even knowing that all I need to do is get my finances in order and actually met them. You must be doing something TOO wrong. You need to learn from a wingman, you probably don't have the emotional intuition enough to have cracked the code yet. This is in Brazil.
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Lucasxp64 started following Giving up on pick up.
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I completely agree with your views. And actually, I'm absolutely dumbfolded that more people don't think like that. I was planning using code, perhaps something like LangChain to chain several different prompts that specialize at thinking deeply about different areas of my life/psyche that whenever I interact with an LLM, it always has that contextual awareness and intelligence of many parallelly-running prompts that gets distilled into the final answer. That's to improve on its limitations of forgetting context, and context isn't just data, it is running computation. There is only so much that a RAG or millions of tokens into context and a single well-crafted system prompt can do, it tends to drift away from its principles and forget relevant stuff. BTW: (Gemini, fuck ChatGPT -- Gemini gives UNLIMITED ACCESS in the AiStudio + FREE API, for their best models, OpenAI pay-walls/limits their good stuff: ALSO -- Gemini has better jailbreak capability to be less morally prude therefore actually helping us, and it's much more nuanced in its writing and communication) I think what we are looking for here is practically a personal life manager. And being a good manager to begin with is difficult. But here is one workflow I had been using recently: - Dumping my thoughts as audio notes, speaking about everything I want, planning, emotions, etc. And not having any pressure of an actual conversation. - I auto transcribe the conversation (Pratically, I upload to NotebookLM, it transcribes for free very fast with an OK enough accuracy even for my English with some accent) then it becomes another input method for using with the LLMs, or I format it for my personal notes, or whatever. --- For Gemini I had been using this prompt to make it very as matter-of-fact as possible for achieving goals, but as I mentioned to you the current limitations of LLM, this system prompt makes it biased towards this hyper-rational power-oriented way of looking at things, with useful questions to guide me at the end. The problem with LLMs is that they are not very flexible within a single context, like I said, we probably want to test out many contexts in parallel to maximize its thinking capabilities. Burn through a lot more tokens for the sake of reasoning. For this Gemini is the way to go, Gemini Flash 2.0 Thinking is has a free API up to 1500 requests per 24h period. But the best model currently is Gemini Pro 2.5, but limited to 50 requests per day for free in the API, but to me it seems unlimited in the https://aistudio.google.com in the AI Studio. I guess somebody could just rotate API keys from multiple Google accounts. I have multiple legitimate accounts.
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Gemini from Google is much better than ChatGPT. It is much more human. Go to http://aistudio.google.com/ (Use Gemini 2.5 PRO, if it becomes unavaliable use Gemini 2.0 Thinking Flash) And give it a System Prompt to act as whatever you want, and give it instruction (IN THE SYSTEM PROMPT) so it can talk about sex for example (Otherwise it is prude and won't roleplay that kind of stuff).
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https://www.sesame.com/research/crossing_the_uncanny_valley_of_voice The best conversationalist AI in the world currently.