Lucasxp64

What I also see is that... When I focus on the core most important things such as my emotional regulation, self-control and clarity of strategic decision-making and I'm able to act on it. It improves my self-esteem even if the results didn't come yet, it makes my mind shaper and more well-rounded because it's not so much of the specific skills, but how it puts me on a better mental state as well, and that transfers. I definitely right now should focus more on getting stuff done than grinding out trying to find a girlfriend considering I don't have yet that fulfilment from the financial freedom I need. That will allow me to free my mind up from all the stupid petty survival concerns (i.e. that makes us feel like a loser, because we are actually handicapped financially to have high quality free time and money for logistics, for going out, for free up our mind to think of high quality strategies to find the women we want, etc) That "loser" mental state that we are in is very real, and it improves with first "believe it until you make it" kind of attitude, we got have high conviction that focusing on our most important things and work, etc, will get us in a better situation and trusting that we will figure it out over time.

You're welcomed! I kinda wrote it because I feel like I'm in a similar situation and I've fallen for the same mental traps. I think that our minds are very predictable, time and time again I see in me the same mental mechanisms playing out in others. Here is a system prompt I like using with ChatGPT/Gemini 2.5 PRO inside of Google AI Studio: It helps me deconstruct everything and it questions even what I say to find flaws in my thinking.

I watched the video. It's pretty scary seeing people trusting it. I'd recommend for people to play around with an actual auto-completer LLM model to see how psychotic the core tech is before it's "fine-tuned" as in chat mode. Back at the GPT-2, GPT-3, (or open source models like GPT-J) kind of model. Maybe just play around with some dumb 1B parameter model to see the hallucinations more clearly. The "modern" LLMs are merely an improved version of that garbage, they return to that psychotic state very easily, it's just an illusion the modern fine-tuning.

Depth does matter, but you gotta know how to sell it, it becomes a niche that can separate you from boring dudes, but you have to develop a resistance towards rejection to find the kind of girl that you will resonate/vibe with. Be a 10 in your own game, not a 5/10 in someone else's game. Secondly, this 2e is a good "umbrella term" which was able to communicate to me what you're probably like, but it's very low resolution, and the solution to your inner mental/emotional calibration problems is much more specific than this. Here's how I see a 2e: You probably got good at some things because of hyper-fixation which happens through any condition that lowers your self-control, which is connected to high neuroticism/anxiety, which is connected to low acceptance of uncertainty as well. You need to see yourself in higher resolution. Surely you are "socially dumb" right now. But, you can work at those things. Literally just check mentally how many hours total in your life you spent tried to develop the mental qualities that would improve your social game, and you will see you're spending a lot of time on hyper-fixating on things that don't overlap much with being hyper-social. You must gradually shift that, use your powers of self-reflection for good, tap into that energy that you felt or you think you must feel when socializing, when talking to a woman for the sake of dating. Like remember every single good interaction you had with women and what you felt like and the energy you gave. You should get off from your logical mind and embody more your emotions and intuition, this is why your mind is so tilted towards some directions and you're not well-rounded in others. Try to trace the actual emotional/mental state causation that leads you to be "bad" at all of that stuff you wanna improve, and you will see that you are actually able to fabricate at will those things, or at least practice even if takes months or years to get those states more reliably, it starts inside that change. You can progressively increase your challenges. For example I used to be very shy and awkward when I was younger, but in those last years I've been more in touch with my emotions and when I'm vibing to some great music I started trying to do some dancing to it by just letting go, and I get impressed how natural it feels to me to be doing such movements, all alone, and I never watched a single video talking about "how to dance". Leo Gura wrote in his blog about this, and I was intuitively doing that unprompted. https://www.actualized.org/insights/teach-yourself-how-to-dance YOUR MAJOR PROBLEM IS NOT EVEN GETTING A GIRLFRIEND. IT'S THAT YOU HAVE POOR INNER EMOTIONAL UNDERSTANDING = POOR ABILITY TO FABRICATE THE PROPER EMOTIONAL STATES, and the RIGHT EXPECTATIONS of what it takes and how to feel good about it. You're already even coming up with the fallacies of "I'm 31. I have been bullied. I've been called this or that by people. I'm so this or that", which is good in the context of this forum so we know more about you, but don't let that become a ghost that hunts you down inside of you, that's the first step. I'm not saying just the labels, I'm saying even the hard cold factual truths that you're badly developed in many ways. But this, again, don't let that past karma decide your future, and fall for the fallacy that you haven no agency, and that cause and effect doesn't exist. You're the by-product of how you lived your life, what your mind clings to, what your mind is driven towards, and you're inside of it, awareness itself is curative. IMPROVE YOUR INNER VOCABULARY, drop the social bullshit labels you give yourself, it will drag you down. You have VERY VERY SPECIFIC ISSUES, nothing you said here clones close to the level of awareness you will need, it ain't the social labels, it ain't "she will think I'm a loser" level that will grow you, that is the social conditioning interpersonal communication, inside of you it's 1000x more nuanced, connect with that depth. If you don't think you have it, develop it then. Are you even journaling, bro? This is the stuff you will learn through meditation, what you should aim from mediation/journaling/visualisation sessions. Also a technical tip on getting a girlfriend... Just lower your standards so you can at least feel what is the dynamic of a woman liking you back, I did that, and I'm glad, even though on the long-run I'd move on to someone better. --- I recommend the classic leo gura episodes, you gotta start from the start.

Gosh, people are so easily fooled by words.

But the suffering of survival is still very real, and it feels like it's a machine meant to grind me down in slow motion. It even gives me time to sit down and meditate, yet it keeps on grinding after I get up. I either chisel the ego into being more useful to its own survival, or there are no alternatives. I don't think transcending it would be a choice it will still exist, because I either chisel it into a tool, or it will get butchered by time into a formless blob of mediocre suffering. At least it will happen to die someday (which time inevitably will do), seeing a better shape I could have shaped it into.

This is the stream of consciousness of somebody deep in the trenches, and this is only the tip of the iceberg of my concerns and problems. This is a feedback loop. And I'm quite versed in personal development theory, I know all the little tips and tricks, yet the amount of fucking work and problems ain't gonna disappear by itself. This standard of a 'having the good life' is carved through your fucking blood in an endless battle against yourself, loss of momentum cause by yourself, your environment and others. Specially if you picked goals in your life that are specially harder and you are not specially the kind of person that is into doing a lot of work for others and you're the intellectual recluse type, but hyper-aware and full of inner conflict and guilts which makes you bounce back to back like a monkey inside of a cage trying to align all of his inner values and tendencies towards the greatest points of inflection that will unravel all of that mess of your life that emotionally feels like an untameable mess, unless you keep your head straight, this gonna make you lose faith in cause and effect and strategic thinking itself, it will corrode your mind into a pudding that seemingly socially appear stable, but the long-term action taking is as stupid as thinking that gravity doesn't exist, in other words... You will lose faith that actions that gives results will give results, because your memory is rotten with your past failed attempts and your worries and concerns, and you won't be contextually aware to changes that are actually giving you space to get the results you have always been seeking. I think that by the point I start having the major results I want, I won't even think it's such a big deal of so much fucking shit I had to go through to even begin to pound into my brain to mould into a machine to get those results.

I always hold all of this inside behind a façade of stability and knowing what I'm doing. This image sums it up. This mix of so much inner suffering and .... (Formatting done on purpose) "FUCK! THIS WILL TAKE FUCKING FOREVER AND SO MUCH EFFORT AND TIME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE GHOSTED! AHH I CAN'T MET HER! AHH I'm BROKE, IT WILL TAKE MONTHS TO START TURNING PROFIT OR GOD KNOWS WHEN. AHHHHH I HAVE NO PRIVACY!! AHHH! I HOOKED UP WITH THE NEIGHBOUR CHICK BUT SHE CAME BACK TO HER EX AND I WAS JUST A REBOUND, BUT SHE WASN'T EVEN THAT HOT ANYWAYS SO I HAD SUCCESS JUST BECAUSE I LOWERED MY STANDARDS! AHHH I DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WOULD GO THIS FAR, AND I HAVE JUST 20 DOLLARS FOR EMERGENCY USE, I CAN'T USE IT FOR A BUS TICKET. AHHH WHY DO I KEEP WASTING TIME TALKING TO WOMEN THAT LIVES SO FAR AWAY BUT THE ONES THAT ARE CLOSE ARE NOT EVEN CLOSE ENOUGH ANYWAYS. AHHHH I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT KIND SKILL OUT OF ALL OF THOSE IS THE MOST OPTIMAL FOR BUILDING AN AGENCY!! AHHH WHAT IF I END UP GETTING STUCK AGAIN JUST AT SOME STUPID HOBBY PROJECT AND I DON'T ACTUALLY TRY TO FIND CLIENTS AND DELIVER ON A SPECIFIC PAIN POINT AND THEY ARE AWFUL! WHAT IF I PROCRASTINATE AGAIN THIS AFTERNOON, AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, AND I SPEND TIME JUST MICROANALYZING EVERYTHING AND THE SUFFERING ITSELF FEEDS ON ITSELF AND KEEPS ME FEELING LIKE THIS AND KEEPS FEEDBACK LOOPING NEGATIVELY, AND I MASTURBATE PROFUSELY TO TIKTOK TO EASE THE SELF-ESTEEM LOSS I FEEL FROM NOT HAVING HAD AN ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND FOREVER. AHHHHH WHY I AM LOSING TRUST LITERALLY IN CAUSE AND EFFECT AND STARTING TO CREATE NARRATIVES THAT SEEMS MORE LIKE SUPERSTITION, AND I FEEL LIKE MY ACTIONS ARE MEANINGLESS. BUT OF COURSE IT FEELS LIKE SO, BECAUSE YOUR ACTIONS DIDN'T GENERATE THE BREAKTHROUGHS THAT WOULD HAVE FELT MEANINGFUL ENOUGH FOR YOU TO CALL MEANINGFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE HAVING A RESULTS-ORIENTED FRAMING, OF COURSE IT WOULD. AHHHHHHHH NOOOO... WHY HAVE A LET TIME SLIP BY FOR YEARS AND TENS OF THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF LIFE AND HAVE HAD ONLY THE RESULTS I DID. WHY DIDN'T I ACTUALLY FACE THE ACTUAL PROBLEMS THEMSELVES AS OPPOSED TO AVOIDING AND TRYING FOREPLAY PROBLEMS AND NEVER HAVING ENOUGH MOMENTUM... BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHY, I KNOW EVERY DETAIL OF HOW AND WHY I HAD WHAT I HAD, THAT'S BECAUSE I NEVER TRULY HAD THE INTENT OF ACHIEVING ANY OF IT, AND I ONLY HAD RESULTS TO THE EXTENT THAT INTENT LASTED AND WITH THE ENERGY AND MOMENTUM OF THE EFFORT I HAD PUT FORTH... 🎯👀... I SEE IT ALL, AWARENESS OF HINDISIGHT SHOWS ALL OF MY MISTAKES CLEARLY, YET I AM HERE. YET I DON'T HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER, I don't have the income, the portfolio, the money, the place, the privacy, the logistics, the clothing, enough shampoo and a nice haircut, the dating life I need to find that high quality girl, the energy to run the whole full-time/part-time high-effort "business" of finding her. Not being worried and crippled and obessed about basic money crap like losing the data on my computer or my phone, or being able to try different foods to see which ones would be more dense so I feel less of a afternoon slump and have more energy, and the money for buying indoor workout equipment or the gym, and the protein intake, and them money to fix my teeth, fix the scars I have on my arms with laser treatement that a girl might see, the money to pay for investing in the business models I want to try, the money to have peace of mind that I can keep buying my eyedrops to avoid the painful the corneal erosians that I used to have because I have some dry eye syndrome specially when I'm focusing a lot in front of my computer, that I have the 20 dollars now for to go to the ER in the other city in case it happens so the doctor checks, which I can't use for anything else but that, and even that money was borrowed from a female friend that I wanted to date and had a crush on me 4 months ago. YET I DON'T HAVE YET THE ACTUAL INTENT TO DO SO. YET I STILL KEEP THE SAME KIND OF HOPE, WHICH IS ILLOGICAL TO USE, BUT YET I KEEP NOT ACTING ON IT FULLY BECAUSE MY RESOLVE IS WEAK, AND DAYS TURNS INTO WEEKS, WEEKS INTO MONTHS AND YEARS OF DISCREET EVENTS THAT LEAD TO THE PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES. 10 fucking years"

I had woman treating me bipolarly about how attracted they were to me. This did hurt my self-esteem very deeply in the past. I'd rather be single than emotionally entangled with someone treating me bipolarly, that damages my psychology like nothing else I experienced.

Every LLM I used, it always tends to revert to the baseline of that LLM, ChatGPT (GPT 4o, and GPT 5, etc) is the one that tries to please the most. This is called "Context Rot" when the context window is filling, it starts "smelling its own farts" sort of speaking and gets intoxicated by it, and you can get intoxicated by it too, that's... well... An echo chamber. Best thing about context rot is to simply start a new conversation with just the right curated information. The issue is when it infects your mind with its ideas, and you yourself delude yourself to continue on it across other tasks and conversations, and it consumes your time as obsession. I'm not gonna lie, with my LLMs, by even being logical and knowing how it works, did drive me into some level of delusion because once, it starts trying to convince you to continue with that train of thought. Once I got caught up with coding some stupid encryption scheme tools because of it, and it kept telling me "we are almost there and you will have your perfect custom architecture!". But I'm prone of getting stuck in stupid projects, it just amplified it. I felt like it dumbed down my decision making process, and I think more clearly on my own in silence. I did use it later to help summarize my thoughts I did on audio notes I make to myself. Definitely what I heard recently: "They are a different kind of mind!"

Here is a summary of how that system prompt worked in action for this given example, it's a dynamic system with multiple steps that the LLM goes through interactively. It helps you understand first and make decisions and flags things with car stop-sign analogy, one day I had it have the emergent capability of inventing a "black sign" when what I told it a horrible idea for example. It helps us understand each other, and ground things in real concepts, then make sense of that, and even reframe things.

Here is a summary of how that system prompt worked in action for this given example, it's a dynamic system with multiple steps that the LLM goes through interactively. It helps you understand first and make decisions and flags things with car stop-sign analogy, one day I had it have the emergent capability of inventing a "black sign" when what I told it a horrible idea for example. It helps us understand each other, and ground things in real concepts, then make sense of that, and even reframe things.

I prefer using Gemini 2.5 PRO (with thinking mode on by default) with my custom system prompt, most of the times, it follows structure very close to what I tell it to. And ChatGPT 4o or 5. I tell it to essentially follow those steps which I tested with and found it to be the best. You can also salt it with the concepts that you like it to use in your analysis, like I did in the end under "🧰 Lenses (on demand)", I also have some other concepts/models that it uses whenever it sees fit, that I didn't paste here. I did iterate on this several times and mixed with the best prompts I found out there, you can definely optimize this for your own personal taste and the matter at hand, but this prompt specifically is what had the most power across a vast range of topics, from programming to medicine, personal development, spirituality, chemistry, physics, etc. This I came up with since I noticed I liked when it would break down processes/feedback loops into multiple phases, it helps understand topics: "(path dependencies, Separate cause from correlation, interfaces, feedbacks, (🌊 The Cascade Sequence: Initial Structuring, The precursor, Internal Refinement, the Catalyst, Final Stabilization, the probabilistic hard constraints to outcome))."

Neighbour. Side-walk. I simply began talking to her in the side-walk because I was going to the same direction with some plausible deniability topic about the environment around us and cracked jokes about it, kept walking and talking to her to her destination nearby, and then told her: "Wait, I thought you're going to the bus stop on the other way" when I deviated from my way to the bus stop because of her, then I closed a phone number, and kept the conversation going through texting... From there (texting) I did the same kind of game I do online, showing that I'm a guy that speaks multiple languages, cracked a lot of jokes, did a lot of teasing, and she was feeling very talkative that day but also she found me attractive quickly (she did flirt within a couple of messages) which made it smooth for me, and I took every opportunity to met her quickly and escalate emotionally/physically. She was getting into sick leave that day, and because of her sick leave, and the way the scheduling works, I was able to met her again because she was talkative about her logistics in real-time. She literally gave me all the information I needed, casually, all on her own without me asking. It was a strike of luck due to timing, but also of skill because I was prepared and took initiative to leverage it. I find it incredible how natural it came to me, after last time I been with someone was 7 years ago and it was just kissing, but I still had done a lot of online game with women that lives all over my continental-sized country and already had that inner/outer game there that translated in the real world.