James Pyle

Hello everyone on Actualized! Today I wanted to share my 5-MeO-DMT trip report and then suggest a great video idea for Leo. So basically I have been following Leo ever since 2016 when I was a Junior in High School. I have been practicing meditation very hardcore and seeking non-dual awareness ever since then. So finally last Thursday I finally got my hands on some Bufo off of the deep-web. Before this the last few months I had been tripping somewhat regularly, a couple of shroom trips and a light acid trip, all on top of my daily spiritual practices. I decided that finally this was the time I was going to do this. I was honestly pretty scared going into it because of all the hell trip reports I had read in the past; but I decided that this was really something I had to do whether I wanted to or not. I woke up at 6 am and I think around 7 am I took out the small 100 mg packet of Bufo and snorted it using a plastic straw. I didn’t even weigh it out I just went for it because I knew I just simply had to embrace it no matter what. I only snorted approximately half of it so it was actually a pretty good dose, especially for a first timer. At first I did not feel anything and thought that I had inhaled it incorrectly, but then after about 7 minutes or so I started to feel the effects. It is hard for me to recall exactly everything that went on during that trip of course. But what I immediately felt is the same feeling of extreme fear you get from a strong mushroom trip where your awareness beholds infinitude and you are experiencing ego death. I think I remember for the first few minutes I was almost thinking I couldn’t handle the experience and was afraid I was going to loose my mind. Then probably around the 10-15 minute mark I was really beholding infinity and was even seeing slight hallucinations similar to what you might experience on mushrooms. What I felt was an unbelievably clear presence of what Christians call Uncreated Divinity. At round that time I felt this unbelievable joy just to experience being as infinite and I was absolutely flooded with gratitude for God. Absolute Goodness is true and it is so good that it is really unbelievable. The feeling you get from Bufo is like an eternal ‘thankyou’; God is so good that he allows evil to exist. For anyone on Actualized who is doubting what Leo said about Absolute Good, I am here to testify that he said it how it really is, it’s so Good, it’s infinite Joy and divine Love. Towards the end of the trip I was almost disappointed because I realized I already had this in my everyday experience and also because Bufo is so short-acting. But at the same time I realized I could not complain because It is and It forever shall be and It is the best thing there is and ever was. For the past few days after the trip I have been watching some of Rupert Spira on YouTube in order to help integrate the experience which really does work quite well. Now I would like to make a suggestion for an awesome video that Leo can do. You see during the years of 2019 through mid 2020 I was living in different Orthodox Christian monasteries around the US. I was with them because I liked their tradition of spirituality and was even considering becoming a monk. But eventually I knew I had to leave because I just couldn’t agree with what they believed. I mean they literally think practically everyone is going to hell because they don’t have a good connection with Christ or they do not know him to begin with. Now here is where I think Leo could make an absolutely awesome video, you see Christ himself said “I am the Truth and the Life” what this basically means is Christ is what Leo described in his video “What is Truth, the Definitive answer” Christ is the Truth and the Life meaning he is the Absolute Good and the great I am. In the words of St. Gregory the Theologian, “God always was, and always is and always will be. Or rather, God always Is. For Was and Will be are fragments of our time, and of changeable nature, but He is Eternal Being. And this is the Name that He gives to Himself when giving the Oracle to Moses in the Mount. For in Himself He sums up and contains all Being, having neither beginning in the past nor end in the future; like some great Sea of Being, limitless and unbounded, transcending all conception of time and nature, only adumbrated by the mind, and that very dimly and scantily.” The other day I was looking at a picture of the Orthodox Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and it brought me tears of joy as I was looking at it. Because it is not the beauty of the picture but it is the beauty of what it represents. When Leo speaks of Absolute Goodness and fear being an illusion, in Christian terms that is referred to as “Christ has overcome death and granted us eternal joy.” In the words of St. Cyril of Alexandria, “Indeed the mystery of Christ runs the risk of being disbelieved precisely because it is so incredibly wonderful.” You see, if I were to go to the monks who I was with previously and tell them about the glory of God I experienced through use of Bufo they would criticize and judge me. But the reality is by doing so they are missing out on the resurrection of Jesus Christ that would take place within them if they were to use Bufo. You see, if you go to a non-denominational Protestant church you see this concert worship where they are singing about how much Christ has done for them and how great God’s love is. But the sad reality is they reality is they have no idea what they are really singing about, they have no real experience of Uncreated Divinity. I was talking to my dad the other day and I showed him some Bufo trip reports and how much people were benefited. But instead of considering it he responded, “I feel bad for those people that they had to stoop so low to find meaning in life, because I have found true meaning in Jesus.” I just looked at him and thought to myself, “Dad, you don’t even know the true Christ, you don’t even know what you are saying.” And you see, these Protestant Christian Rock bands, they really mock the true Christ with their so called ‘worship’ which is just pure imagination, not actual reality. Anyways, from my personal experience living at these Orthodox monasteries and after doing Bufo I really understand why it is important to have a personal relationship with the Absolute, the great I Am. This is what Christ is, he is for Christians the deity of the Infinite reality of God; he is the logos or the ‘word’ of God. And when they use the word ‘living’ in the Bible, what they are saying is God is ever new, not static. So essentially if someone in our modern times wants to really know the One True Living God they should use 5-MeO-DMT. When we describe God we use One meaning non-dual, True meaning Truth with a capital T, Living meaning eternally new and undying, God meaning You, the real You. Leo, if you are reading this right now I can just imagine you laughing so hard because we all here on Actualized know this needs to be said. So thank you to everyone who read this, may the deity of the absolute, which is Christ, bless you all!

Hello there everyone! I am looking for a serious spiritual relationship and I need advice on how to find a partner. I am a male and right now I am currently 20 years old and soon to be 21 in February. I am caucasian, long beard, buzz cut, skinny but also slightly toned. Let me give a very brief life-story for the past five or so years. Brief Life Story: I started watching Actualized.org when I was 15 in high-school in California, this was back in 2015. Even though I was watching Actualized back then and now I really pissed away my high-school years getting terrible grades. When I was a Junior in High school I was sent to a boarding school in Texas because of my bad grades and weed smoking habits. There I got my GED and decided I did not want to go to college, but instead the idea of possibly becoming a monk of some sort came to me. After I got out of the boarding school in 2018 I started getting into different religions and I really liked Eastern Orthodox Christianity because of it's mysticism and asceticism. This was the summer of 2018; during this time I was working at a nursery and I very much enjoyed my life. Then in the fall I went to spend some time working and living at a Monastery in Northern California that was doing very poor financially and really needed support. I had a really great time there helping out the monastery with work and parting in their spiritual life, so, I decided that since I was not doing anything with my life maybe I should become a monk. On January 1, 2019 I was baptized into the Orthodox faith and then started a sort of adventure checking out all of the different Orthodox monasteries in America (almost one in every state!) I spent a while at the biggest of monasteries in America in Arizona called St. Anthony's Greek Orthodox monastery. There I found the highest degree of spirituality I had ever seen; they had an elderly saint who recently died called Elder Ephraim. He would put his hand on your head like certain yoga masters do and you would feel bliss and peace wash over you. The monks themselves were also extremely holy, a lot of the older one's auras would glow with this white immaterial light similar to what you see in pictures of ancient yogis. But I also went all around the United States like I said, and it was funny I met legitimate Orthodox Christians during my journey who told me their benefit from using psychedelics and receiving healing in Native American Ceremonies. About 2019 to 2020 was when I started having problems with depression, and by this time I had already experienced the religious life of the monks for over a year. I did find a lot of spirituality at the monasteries but also a lot of problems, I found that there were actually plenty of monks who were actually quite miserable and so was I because of my depression. Then thoughts started coming to me like "wait what about all those videos you watched years ago from actualized.org about 5-MeO-DMT and all those documentaries about using psychedelics for depression, what about all those other spiritual teachings that also teach the same things Christianity teaches." Unfortunately, even though some of the monks I met were very spiritual they didn't seem to believe that there could be any other genuine spirituality except Orthodox Christianity or drug that could actually benefit personal spiritual development. So about three weeks ago (I was at a monastery in NC at this time) I decided to leave monasticism altogether because I realized I just couldn't be a monk with my depression problems and my personal beliefs. Right now I am taking ultra good care of my health and fitness, I am also looking into microdosing psilocybin, which are all seriously helping my depression to the point where I can now consider myself a very happy individual. Lately I have been getting back into Actualized.org, my favorite videos so far are 'What is Actualized.org' 'Developing Introspection' 'The Trap of the Toxic Life Purpose' and a really old one called 'The Happiness Spectrum.' If anyone has watched 'The Happiness Spectrum' I am personally working towards a totally eudaimonic Lifestyle. Now let me tell what my plan is for the future. Future Plans: Since my mother died a year ago (I am not sad about this and very emotionally stable not to brag, forgive me.) she left me 45k and my dad whom I live with now is planning on buying a huge piece of property for me, himself, and my brother. I have always believed very strongly the philosophy of organic simple living and now that I am out of the monastic life I can finally actualize this dream I have always had in the back of my mind. I plan to live off of the land as much as possible eating only organic whole food, think of something like an amish life except more stage turquoise. My dad has decided to move in with his new wife and he is going to eventually sell the house that we are in now. With the money he could simply purchase a 300k property in the mountains no problem and has agreed to do that for all of us. With the 45k I could easily afford a tiny house, solar, well, and everything else I need, plus I myself will find whatever outdoors job I can (I love farm work and working outdoors.) But the thought came to my mind "How can I do something for the benefit of humanity and the greater good?" And I realized that I could adopt orphans from impoverished countries and give them a good life. But I thought about this and I realized I would need a wife to help raise orphans, and it would also be really good to have a spiritual partner for myself as well. Me and my spiritual partner would live as spiritually and healthily as possible while also taking care of 1-3 orphans or even more, if possible. This is just a rough outline of what the future will hold for me, things could certainly change but right now this seems like the best possible thing I could do. Now I will get into what type of girl I am looking for. I am looking for: (Sorry my criteria is very picky but that is just the way it has to be) 1. Someone who would be willing to go on this spiritual journey with me, to live a difficult but spiritually eudaimonic lifestyle. 2. Someone experienced with spiritual practices in general, is accepting of all religions, and accepts the use of psychedelics 3. Someone who believes in the power of sexual abstinence (this wouldn't totally exclude us from having sex in marriage but it would be limited in order for us both to focus on the eudaimonic spiritual life.) 4. Someone who is very strongly devoted to health and fitness 5. Someone who is 19-25 years old, average height, preferably caucasian (like me), very physically fit, and very serious about life in general. Not looking for: 1. Anyone who has tobacco smoking, drinking, partying habits or habitually gets high on marijuana or trips on psychedelics excessively. 2. Anyone who enjoys watching TV, using social media, watches pornography, playing video games, wasting time with friends, or doing anything generally unproductive. 3. Anyone who wants to have kids rather than adopt them, I really feel like adopting children is one of the best philanthropies, sorry. 4. Anyone who rejects Orthodox Christianity, I still wish to follow most of it's practices until I die. But I also wish to engage in new practices. 5. Anyone who is unstable in life, I am looking for a relationship where I can benefit and be benefited by my partner. I want to learn new spiritual practices and patterns of healthy eating. I can't really have someone who is super depressed and has financial problems and such, it most likely won't work. Question: So, thank you to those who read everything I wrote. I live in Morgan Hill, California, near Santa Cruz and San Francisco (hippie central). I am wondering what is the best possible ways to find someone who will match my criteria? I don't think online dating will work as I have heard very bad things about it. My brother suggested to meet girls at our local health food stores but honestly I don't know how well that is going to work considering my strict criteria. I am open to any ideas, please share your answers if you have them, thank you!

Thank you for the advice @Preety_India

@AdamDiC Thank you man! I will for sure check out his Life Purpose Course. Honestly I don't know about making a huge difference in the world, I just want a simple life, but we will see how things go.