goldpower123

I have a question about how to deal with a past toxic friendship (1.5 years ago last seen) and this relationship was abusive, more satanic, and the person took control of me, I had no confidence, full of toxic habits, it was abusive, lots of disagreements and negativity. I have cut this person off and haven't seem him in a long time. Since then I have been on my own path, was doing very well, but based on what he knows about me (a previous trauma) my mind still fears him and holds grudges over this person and thinks that somehow he has power over me based on what he knows about me. It feels like almost a toxic soul tie. Would by forcibly extracting, removing entirely, cutting all contact and traces with a person be a good decision? This is what I'm leaning towards. I feel like how dare I go back to someone who was toxic, abusive, devilish, its the lowest form of myself. I should stay true to my intents of removing this person. Especially on a spiritual metaphysical level. Would by doing this, eventually over years or decades, my ego would surrender, I would lose memories, and the trauma associated with this person would no longer have a grip on me. Sounds totally obvious I should do this.. I'm open to the idea this somehow may not work, which is why I posted, what about going back to make amends or correct wrongs? I feel like that'd be a trap and could open the door right open again. At this point, I don't want nothing to do with this person, just nothing at all, not knowing anything about me.

That's pretty much the path I've decided to take, I agree with what u said, I'm taking logic and brute force on this one. My ego was trying so hard to get me to go back to my old self, I just kept fighting it off, resisting and resisting, I wasn't expecting how hard it actually would be, like a part of me is dying off. No matter how spiritual u are, don't underestimate the mind's power. It is a force to fucking reckon with

I very much appreciate the advice from you guys

I have an opportunity to take some LSD, I'm definitely interested in the personal growth side of doing psychedelics. Does it have the ability to connect you with your heart or benefit you in a deeper spiritual way? Or is it more of a mental drug? Just interested to hear about LSD and the benefits of it on a deeper level, becoming a better person, healing etc. Is it similar to mushrooms? I tried mushrooms and what they did for my life afterwards was absolutely priceless.

I tried a small amount of shrooms once 2 years ago and it flipped my whole world upside down. Afterwards I started to better myself, seek the Truth, along that path I remember having deep self love moments, raising of consciousness, change of habits, healing, the list goes on and I became a totally different person in a very good way. Like I found my true self and life responded completely different to me. It was like I actually went from a robot to a real organic human being that could feel things. I could face my demons, do shadow work, face addictions, unlocked new DNA, all sorts, I'm not sure if it was ALL because of mushrooms but nothing compares to what they did for me. Nothing. It had a huge rollover effect in every area of my life. I've slowly descended now to the point I have this deep sinking pain feeling in my core, lost touch with that deep love/sincerity for pursuing anything higher and the devil has taken the front seat, definitely reaping the consequences of it. My higher self feels buried beneath. Finding it hard to keep it real and surrender my ego. I believe that me alone, I can't achieve a change of will, divine love, god consciousness, selflessness etc. without the help of higher energies, psychedelics, a mystical experience etc. Or maybe I could but it would take a lot more, or I would have to go through something etc. Would LSD trigger a spiritual insight or love experience to get on the path to Truth? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Reality and consciousness can get strange, especially when pure truth gets turned into falsehood. I've been trying not to get lost in God's dream of my life. This shit will de rail your entire life, the mind is very tricky, big mistake trusting that over my heart. Stay true to yourself. My life could never be the same again, once you cross over to the other side etc. I am God. I am source. I am all alone. That's my natural state, however long it takes me to return home. Sometimes you really have to swim in these waters. The sea of consciousness. Navigate through this dream to find yourself, when you do get lost. Win the war in your mind, keep it one with yourself, never give up. This is the 'spiritual war' or that war for your consciousness. Truly the raising of consciousness is the way to 'salvation'. Love endures forever

These creatures exist in nature, the real world, it seems they want You from You, they attack your mind, cause confusion, it's absolutely nuts. They target your weaknesses. The spiritual realm exists in this reality too. This phenomena seems to be all secondary, like the additional dials within consciousness. If you have Pure consciousness/nonduality you are good, no need to worry, but damn I really need to get on my shit.

It seems to be the new normal, or a part of my evolution, like I've let it happen. Is it a bad thing? For example spiritual timing, my phone does weird things when looking at it, swipes by itself/volume changes, or I will feel something bubble up and out from within, knocks and tap noises in the house, feeling real demons thrown at me by other people, or I'll notice the faults in someone else's conversations as they're being used as a vessel etc, but they are totally unaware of what's happening to them. Like real psychic abilities. It's usually like other energies trying to fuck with me or mess with me, distract me, but I have some kind of spiritual callus where it's the new normal and I've accepted the fact that this phenomena will haunt me for the rest of my life. Is this something bad or wrong or is this normal?

Have done psychedelics in the past,

Are there underworlds or overworlds after death? Or various astral or spiritual planes? What happens when someone dies at a low state within themselves like at a low chakra? Will they attract that of a similar vibratory resonance? I don't know the answers at all, but one thing I do know is that spiritual evolution and the soul is a real thing and goes beyond matters of the ego and the materialist paradigm. Just want to see other people's views really

At first I feel like I made a huge mistake or jeopardised my soul, I have glimpsed the Truth/God along my journey in the heart and it took me down a whole different path, divine love, etc. It seems we can either choose our self or God. Is choosing the devil or the ego as a life path after glimpsing Absolute Truth bad or wrong? It felt like my only option. I feel like I've slowly strayed from that highest path over time to the point I had to let up. My brain was playing tricks on me, I was losing sleep, I came to the realization that if I want the Truth I can't have my self. So I chose my self, the tradeoff at first was so hard losing that self love in the soul and connection, knowing what I did. Is this what they say the left hand path is or the selfish path, the devil, falsehood over Truth? I feel like this life and path is the life I never had. This stuff is literally the difference between life and death and what your blood is assigned too. My question is if you assign your soul to a path, can you change the path you're on? Get your soul back to God? Can anyone offer advice or opinion?

My spiritual awareness has taken a different turn the past month, basically I have been sometimes experiencing the "void" where I feel cut off from the source, and awareness of the dark side of duality, internal suffering and fears/inner demons coming to the surface, assimilating back down into the "ego dream." Reality would feel physically hollow and meaningless, bit of loneliness due to the lack of oneness connection with everything else. I would feel exposed to the darker/yin energy in this world more. It's really like a timeline shift, there's like different versions of me. I've reflected on the experience and it's definitely something todo with attachment vs non attachment, duality vs non duality, because at some level I get enjoyment and satisfaction living my own way and being selfish with disregard to Truth and consciousness, but also there is suffering that comes with that. Whenever I try confront the Truth out of response to that deeper suffering and unfulfillment, I feel vulnerable psychologically because it's like I'm doing it from my old nature, and I would risk witnessing/opening my mind up to something I wasn't prepared for, and cause trauma/damage What helps is not resisting, but to adapt to that energy within myself, knowing I can change at will, and keep enjoying my life, and realize I can pick and choose which energies to gravitate towards, don't let it choose me. It's like a really strong powerful force of the ego pulling me right back and it's convincing.

WARNING (I am not saying don't use prescription pills, they should definitely be used in cases of emergency) I was on them for 2 weeks, to get me to sleep. This took a toll on my spiritual self and energy big time. I felt like the medicine exaggerated the problem, when really it was a personal issue not a mental one. I felt un natural, my circadian rhythm turned upside down, I had chemically induced manic highs and lows. I felt these pills were against mother nature and the correct wiring of the brain. I no longer had an accurate perception as well. I was numbed to direct truth of reality, I felt like reality wasn't physical (which is true at the core) but I felt the emptiness/void more, not the stud, of reality so to speak. I was also numbed to my inner self and found my personality change to become more judgmental and selfish, less true, compassionate and good. I was amazed at what I was tolerating on my consciousness due to being more emotionally numb. After I came off then I thought to myself wow I feel like it attracted low vibrational frequencies and thoughts. I learned a few things going through this. I'm no guru at all, nor am I perfect at all, this is simply what I believe. - Life is suffering and the job seems to be escape suffering, become free of the separate "I" or self, attachment. - It is possible to inflict suffering on your own self, the mind is extremely tricky and will use anything to destroy you. My huge mistake was assuming my own mind can be TRUSTED. Fuck that. The "law of attraction" is always in motion so every step of your life you created. You will be aware of what you're doing to yourself, wrestling with your own self. The worst suffering where you are aware of what you're doing to yourself, because you once self loved, you know who you truly are. - When it feels there is no where to turn, don't turn at all. Turn inward. Call on God. - Fear is what makes humans incapable of love, how can you truly love when you're crippled in fear and survival. This is deeply profound to realize that there is a spiritual component to the human experience and love is our ultimate truest nature, and you see everything in this world is to destroy the humans from love and their selves. We naturally are deserving of love, of truth, and the forces that be are doing everything to trick us and get us away from our real selves and destroy us. Face your demons, go the opposite direction. It's not what you DO, it's what you don't do, go against the grain to heal your self. I have been off them for about 10 to 15 days, at the beginning I started to feel great and then around day 10 I could feel another withdrawal secretly coming up. This turned out to be a spiritual purification process and was very negative/uncomforting, but now I feel like a totally different person. I feel different inside my own body, cleaner, and closer to my real natural self.

Man that was an awesome response, thanks so much. That damn near bangs it on the head. It is most definitely related to some form of genetic conflict or psychic injury, generational issue or something. The medication I have, quetiapine dumbs my consciousness and gets me to sleep allgood, it just sucks because it decreases consciousness, really numbs the deeper issue, but I don't see any other option. I need sleep. I don't take it every day, I juggle when I feel safe to go without it and raise myself a bit. On a side note, but what I'm going through, Its like my consciousness has fell, or assimilated/attached back down into this dream, the ego dream.

As weird and embarrassing as this sounds, I'm having sleep difficulties and sometimes feel fear and think negative right before I fall asleep. I feel exposed on the 4th dimension (dream world) and I have trouble "letting go" into the deeper brainwave states for sleep. In my life my mind is having a hard time turning inward or tapping in to my heart, I feel less of that protection spiritually so I am hyper aware of that dark side of duality and sometimes get put right onto that timeline during/right before sleep. I'll make weird noises, toss and turn, sweat, I'm probably wrestling spirits and all sorts in my sleep. I have sleep medication which helps IMMENSELY, puts me right to sleep, I am trying to not rely on that as much as possible because it takes a toll on the quality of my consciousness, my vibration, weird side effects and numbs me to direct truth of reality. I am pretty good at knowing when to turn off/on the Truth, when to forsake my beliefs and knowing how to plug "in and out of the Matrix" so to speak but has anyone else experienced uncomfortable sleep phenomena?

I have only tried psilocybin shrooms once, a small dose, but at my current state it did so much for me, put me down a new path in life and helped connect my mind with my heart. Even after the trip itself for months I felt like I could tap into that higher self/consciousness still. My whole universe changed, I went on this healing journey and had many deep spiritual insights along the path, divine love, focusing on myself, I remember feeling connection with the universe, reality and with people to a whole other level. It's totally worn off, it's been about 2 years, I need to get another trip. I think the main thing is them helping you connect your mind with your heart. Going within. That inner path, connecting with your self. It seems there's no other way, if you really want to have true happiness, confidence, poise, peace and truth, and not be affected or swayed by everything on the outside. Is it possible to live that kind of life without psychedelics? I mean sure, yes, for the more spiritually evolved, but it seems that they are tools that are necessary to help the mind connect with the inner self.

About 2 weeks ago, I went through a short period of intense suffering here's what happened: My entire world went dark, trouble sleeping, my mind playing tricks on me, like I slipped outside myself into the ego and very low consciousness. I felt like I was battling an 'inner demon' that came to the surface of my conscious awareness, and that 'God' was pouring his wrath or shining light and awareness onto that aspect of myself. It felt like a solar eclipse inside me that night. I remember an intense suffering in my core, a pressure as I resisted to acknowledge. I had these weird psychic sensations and imagining fast subtle voices in my head. I oddly feel purified and relief, I feel different on the inside, like I have a new approach to life and past fears. The suffering humbled me, felt like I integrated or purged some aspect of myself, something to do with the dark side of Duality though for sure, but I don't know everything. I know I just explained it all and answered my self, but has anyone had a similar experience or can relate? Thanks heaps.

So a while ago after tripping mushrooms I went on a personal spiritual journey. I glimpsed the "Truth" or God, but deep in my subconscious it has left like a whole, like a piece of my will went to the universe, or you could say "crossing over to the other side" where I am now more aware of the energies of the universe. It seems there are both higher realms and lower realms, the light realms are higher dimensions at the heart, closer to source, that pure metaphysical connection with reality, whatever word you want to use.. and the darker realms is the identification with the ego's false dream and the dark forces. But it's all God's dream, there is no where that God is not; all is imagination, and it can be something to toy with. Anyway I've been gradually backsliding for a while now, finding it hard to turn inward, I would force myself to try wake up to the point where I couldn't handle the Truth and would risk losing my mind, couldn't sleep for 2 nights and had to get medication. I admitted that I am not mature enough yet. My mind has taken control of me and I am suffering fear again like I did in my old life. I swear it has to do with the path you're on. In my subconscious, or what feels like my central nervous system, I feel I have grown. And that cannot be undone. I can literally feel subtle energies that exist in this reality. It's regular stuff, shit that's been there my entire life, I'm just now more aware of it, something within me has changed and it's beautiful because I feel like in a sense I am God, even amidst suffering and fear, there is no where God is not. God is all alone, there is no right or wrong, and I have the freedom to be a devil and create my own meaning. I hope this is an accurate perspective and can anyone else relate with this?

Lately I have been backsliding and finding it hard to turn inward, thus going outside myself into my old life. I find myself in the mental realms and in the lower dreams of God, like say you have chakras of consciousness: I feel like I've gone down to the bottom where it's purely mental and shadow. Like outside myself. A lot more selfish and fear in my spirit, like I am a lost creature in the universe. However because I've grown my spirit feels bigger and the feelings in my core are stronger. A couple nights ago I had intense existential fear, like going into my shadow. I couldn't sleep for about 2 nights, I was freaking myself out, my mind playing tricks on me. I had to get sleeping pills and got to sleep last night thankfully. But it's like I've gone to the lower dreams of god, however what's crazy is that I realize it's ALL consciousness and it's happening inside of me, the dream of God, there is nothing BUT imagination, and it can imagine hells or heavens. In some twisted contorted way I am enjoying this egoic dream of god. But the love is contorted, I am confused within, not sure where to turn. However I realize I have some level of control over this over how I used my mind. When I first grew spiritually it was like the high of my life, very elevated and high consciousness realms. I was meditating, healthy lifestyle, etc. and also felt like I gained new pre frontal cortex connections which are coming in handy now. Please, what I am talking about is not for the weak. This is very serious stuff and is there someone who can shed some light or advice for me? Is this all part of the journey? The backsliding, going into the lower dreams while still having that increased awareness, I'm trying to just live life and dumb myself down and submit to what feels like the right thing to do. Thanks

As I write this post this is me as God talking to myself. I remember it. The honeymoon phase. A change of heart, a glimpse of the light, new blood, It was magnificent, I found the elixir. It was absolutely a special and romantic period of my life, I remember having so many backlashes and failures to get it on this No Fap challenge and changing at the core. The benefits of this has paid off to this very day, about 9 months later, where I find my soul more contracted and the Ego has taken more front seat. I've been suffering the consequences of this, slacking off, feeling fear, playing the victim and wallowing in the mud of my old self here and there, while still trying to keep 'healthy' and claim innocence. This deep un-satisfaction and pain must be acknowledged. The benefits of that victory are still there. I remember believing in myself. The realization of this has lately shocked me deeply, there's no way I can ignore this, and I've been internalizing the level of sincerity and seriousness of how fucking important the personal spiritual development work is. I have my whole entire life on the line here. Today I have been contemplating my entire life, both the good events, what's my direction, my internal destiny, where will I end up, etc. Glimpsing Truth changed everything. I am more hyper aware of everything now, energies I pick up from people, my own internal state. It's like the metaphysical and physical realms are more interwoven. These are conceptualizations yes. I'm beginning to see the exponential potential rollover effect if I wholeheartedly, sincerely, absolutely commit to this Truth with every ounce of courage, strength, will and might I can muster inside of me, carnally and spiritually. I can also see the potential effect of great suffering and psychosis if I don't do anything, give up, go back to my old ways for long enough. To get to that I would literally have to 'consciously choose' that option, I would be 'consciously choosing' to do nothing, metaphorically it's like God is showing me the options. Energy never dies. It's going to be a fight. True love requires absolute commitment and self sacrifice. I realize that if I want this Truth, Divine love and good things in life, I will have to give up a lot and work a lot. This has fueled some level of purpose again and inspiration to being fucking alive and my entire direction, what I'm supposed to be doing. This is like why I'm alive at all. It's to experience the Truth of all I am. I know that unconditional love from God is really the only thing that can fulfill me and the source of inspiration for doing all things in life. This is how I am feeling and the conclusions I'm drawing from where I'm at in my life so I thought I would share this profound insight

There is a particular family member whom whenever I am in contact with in real life (doesn't live with me), it seems there's an evil/harsh/angry energy that is attached to their emotions and I watch the way they react and behave it's really negative and strong like wrath and passion in it. Not necessarily negative towards me (although maybe when I'm not around) but just being within the vicinity of those strong emotions. And then it gets passed onto me, I'm not sure if their aware of it but it is very real and then I'll end up with negative thoughts/feelings, fears, bad dreams, even a toll on my mental health. like I take on the low vibration of that energy just by being in contact with said person. What I've learnt is there is a direct pattern of how much time and energy I spend with said person and in turn effecting my vibrational state, and the less time I spend the less I am effected by this energy and am more at my 'natural' self. I can feel it in my body. I was skeptical about this and resisted it being a real thing for a while, but now it's undeniable, everything in reality has a spiritual component to it, people/places/things, and that certain frequencies play a part in our mental states and emotions. I looked online and psychic attacks and curses are also a real phenomena. Has anyone had a similar experience and can offer some advice? Thank you

What do you mean short of breath? In a literal physical sense?

After drinking only spring water for 4 to 5 days I noticed huge benefits to do with health, energy levels and feeling lighter. Like I was raising my vibration and quality of my consciousness. My ability to connect with my higher self increased and my visual/mental perceptions are sharper, quieter mind, etc. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

Addictions are critical to know and work on for personal growth and I've found there to be a spiritual element to it. Off topic a bit, and not to complicate this. But in my opinion its like the deepest part of who you are (your Soul) is attached to certain things in this dense realm, keeping you at a lower frequency. Is that why spiritual teachers talk about letting go and attachment so much. Because its literally like letting go of a part of this physical reality if you have no addiction, but you ascend to a higher vibration and life becomes easier/lighter. But there's definitely a spiritual issue that starts with You Yourself.

In recent months I have been severely limiting Alcohol. When I was 2-3 months sober I noticed like real improvements to myself and wellbeing, health, etc. These are all gradual slow increases the longer I was sober but definitely substantial: - Increased state of consciousness and awareness - Increased health and vitality. Sense that like my blood flow is clean and high quality. - More self confidence and self acceptance, in a neutral way independent from anything external. - Less negative and destructive tendencies - Odd mental cravings, sensitive to alcohol smell, and feeling "dry" sometimes. - Less brain fog, can think more clearly overall on a particular point. - Feeling more mature and overall a better well rounded person on the inside. - Thinking about other pursuits in life like thinking about my potential, what's possible for me, trying new things, etc. I am not demonizing Alcohol and I still drink small amounts sporadically here and there. However.. What's most crazy is that I never even thought about the possibility of having some form of addiction/attachment to Alcohol, 2 years ago I used to be a heavy drinker and drank a lot every week with friends, parties, nights out in town, I deemed Alcohol to be a normal part of life and also seeing everyone else drink, I didn't think about it being bad for me; the real me - as an individual separate from everybody else. Looking back I was clearly damaging myself, and my entire lifestyle in general at the time - this is one of the examples of how society traps you into doing things that appear to be good for you on the surface -- to fit in, be socially recognized, do what everyone else is doing. It's satisfying to the Ego, but that isn't real, its a construct, and in reality it's only you and your life, and everyone else and their real life. Last time I got drunk I had a huge break until then. Got 1-2 hours of sleep that night. 3-4 days later I literally remember feeling poisoned, drained on the inside and back to the lowest form of myself like back to who I was 2 years ago. Anxiety, started getting bad dreams, negative thoughts and overall clouded. Anyways this is only my dealings with it recently, thought I would share! Am a lot more careful with this shit now. Thoughts?