Hippocrates

@Michal__ Well, I'd be a fool if I didn't try my best to replicate it haha. I'll keep you posted : )

@Demeter It was! Edit: Jesus Christ, I have no idea where all of this came from, you asked such a simple question and I ended up writing a biography. I am still going to post it , although it's nothing more than the rumblings of a fool. A thousand thanks for asking as it led to something very constructive for me. To answer your question , I've never had a daily meditation routine or consistent "serious" practice , although now I fully understand why I should and I am developing one. Well I suppose my first contact with spirituality and meditation was around 4 years ago . I was born and raised orthodox christian and for a while in my childhood I had a nice relationship with christianity . Grandmother successfully programmed me to at least appear a very good christian boy. For a time I actually enjoyed the religion game...Until an even better one appeared . Hardcore atheism. I was around 12 and we were learning about the renaissance in school. The main thing that I kept from those lessons was "always doubt everything" , that's the way we as a western civilization became "enlightened". Combine that with being a gamer kid with access to youtube and tons of knowledge. Makes sense i'd end up in the atheist/materialist category .I was always interested in self development and psychology. Slowly as I grew my curiosity got the better of me and I gradually become more and more open minded. As I became more open minded all kinds of different knowledge and experiences became available to me . Now I am at a point that radical open-mindedness seems like a one way street. Well ,that leads us to around my 18th birthday. I ended up in a spiritual-self development-music festival, with all kinds of workshops and activities. I mostly went cause it sounded fun and I was curious. I was actually still in a stage of secretly making fun of "those" kind of people. That doesn't mean I was disrespectful or snobby towards them. On the contrary I've always been fascinated with different belief systems and subcultures. So I figured since I was in that kind of a festival I might as well immerse myself in the culture eh? So ,I ended up having lots of firsts there. First touch with yoga , spiritual talks, pseudoscientific shit , almost a foursome and a ritual thingy I'd never heard about before. Temazcal . It was certainly a life changing experience. Looking back upon this time it seems pretty ironic that "Wake Up" was the name of the festival, as it was my first contact with this brand new world. I could actually play being a jedi in real life, cool stuff. Over the last four years i've grown and changed many many times. Playing around with spiritual stuff , reading different stuff, being influenced by the youtube algorithm , meditating here and there. I was not consumed by the culture though and therefore never took it very seriously . I remember my first contact with Leo's videos. I was looking for a video to watch while doing chores. The title was "You are God" (or something similar. ) I remember laughing out loud when I read the title, I think I also may have sent it in a group chat with my friends so they could laugh too. I still watched all of it , being an open minded little boy and all . I remember rewatching the video again the next day thinking "huh...well, thats actually pretty interesting" . It was around that time I started getting into it more. But again, I never had a specific meditation or spiritual practice. Nevertheless I progressed, albeit slowly . In my own time I guess. This was the state of affairs for a long time until this summer. By random chance and with last minute planning I end up in a similar festival although much smaller and more intimate. The people there were really really amazing . Full of love . The place was incredibly beautiful, in the woods by a river. Great stuff. Anyway, I participated in an Ayahuasca ceremony there. I learned about ayahuasca about a year before that and was intrigued immediately. I wanted to explore that and looked up for places I could go. I found some in the Netherlands and seriously considered going ,but stuff happened and never had the time . Then the whole pandemic thing happened and I wrote it off for time being. Imagine my surprise when the entheogen appeared in my life in a random festival I almost didn't even go. After that ...intense? experience, stuff kinda changed ... After the first lockdown before the summer I was already in an amazing flow-like state (largely due to the depressing shitty months I had before) . Everything was absolute perfection and it all culminated in me participating in that perfect ceremony. This amplified the "flow-state" I was in tenfold. Still no specific and scheduled meditation or spiritual practices . I spent around 4 months gluttonously enjoying life . Meditating here and there , but mainly living an amazing fulfilling life. I participated in another ceremony (Kambo) aswell, a whole other story. At some point both consciously and unconsciously I decided that that phase was over. I closed myself in my apartment. And I let myself be consumed by the devil and created my own little hell mythologically speaking. I basically spent a month and a half smoking weed .Every single day , almost every single minute. Not only that but I consumed tons of pornography and ate like a pig. What a great existence huh? Nonetheless, I actually wanted to explore that . I consciously embarked on the journey of "lets see what its like to be high constantly for a week" , fulling knowing the risks and expecting the rise of addiction and fucking up my life. I realize it might sound kinda crazy but I really like experimenting with reality and different modes of being. When else would I get a chance to actually experience whats its like to be a 22 year old total fuck up first hand? So that's what I did. I deliberately sabotaged all of the flow , even dropped out of uni. And yeah, as it was expected I lost control. So many days , fast forwarded. The weirdest sleeping "schedule" . So many amazing experiences missed out on. It was a really interesting and risky little experiment, but all the time deep inside I knew that something would pull me out of this phase eventually, I just had to ride it through. Explaining why I did this is complicated and layered and hard to do ,but it involves a lot of pure curiosity ,unconscious stuff and probably a dose of self-deception . Anyway, my "way out" of this phase came when a friend told me he ordered 5-meo-dmt . That seemed a good and appropriate time to come out of hell. A week later I am on my bed lying beneath my blanket living something indescribable. Life is not a movie though and I didn't just "get out" of the phase I was in. Yes I was changed. Yes I had tasted a glimpse of infiniteness . Yet I didn't really want to let go and be god yet so I stayed a fuck up a while longer. That was a about two weeks ago and those two weeks have been feeling like a farewell to an old part of myself. I know its time to go and the path is obvious, crystal clear. Just been avoiding it for a bit, for many and understandable reasons and excuses. It's time though. I know exactly what to do. Time to do it.

Greetings, This happened some hours ago I sat down in different positions (cross-legged , half lotus, random made up stretch etc etc) and used different meditation and breathing methods , randomly. I'd like to stress that fact. There was no order and structure to anything. Just complete and free meditation. I just wanted to meditate for the sake of meditation and explore. Anyway I'll try to keep this as short as I can ,also keep in mind we are limited by the use of words here so a lot is being left out. After about an hour or something of shuffling different poses and breathing techniques something happened. In a butterfly position, I exhale completely and lower myself almost touching the floor. After spending some moments there I straighten my spine and take a deep long breath. The effect was almost instantaneous. It was exactly like taking a hit from a glass pipe of 5-meo-dmt. Loud pronounced ringing in my ears, gradual loss of the senses and alternations in my visual field between black and white, eventually settling in complete whiteness. I could not believe this was happening , I was not under the influence of any psychedelic, yet I was tripping harder than I've ever had before. It was actually even more intense than my 5-meo-dmt trip and for some reason even scarier. Throughout the duration of the peak I have to admit I was scared shitless. Completely terrified. It felt like like something is tearing apart the whole fabric of reality .Might sound cool yeah(and it was) but it was not pretty. It was not beautiful or "woohoo we are one, I am god, sunshine and rainbows" .Fear on a very primal and basic level. I actually felt something very deep inside thinking and deciding that "alright thats super cool but enough" Slowly the peak (and what felt like an opening to something) was over and the experience became much more manageable and nice. The effects from the altered state of consciousness remained , the complete terror and anxiety faded . Complete peace and oneness, goody goody feelings yes? I stayed there and basked in the glory of being for some time. Anyway that's pretty much it . I love this. Whatever this was . Crazy stuff.

Greetings, I am very grateful for the opportunity to speak to you here in this amazing forum. Somehow the entheogen ended up in my life yesterday. I tried it. May post a trip report separately but I am writing here for a specific reason. There was nothing. Total whiteness, no senses ,nothing. Absolutely nothing. "I" felt nothing, heard nothing, touched nothing, saw nothing, thought nothing. Yet this lasted only for a brief moment. I felt the air hit my throat and thoughts started slowly creeping in. "I should breathe" "If I don't take a breath I am going to die" , "Wow", "This is so beautiful" . The ego started to come back. The breath brought me back and I realized that the breath is my only link to this world. I realized this most basic simple thing in a very profound way. Yet I know almost nothing about it . Yes I am aware of some of the different breathing methods that exist , but I do not know much about the breath. I have to educate my self further , would appreciate any resources and material that you may have on the subject. I am going to try again this week . I'll have to let go completely and somehow forget about the breath (or maybe force myself to stop breathing?) Thank you very much for your time.