Blackhawk

@Frenk Thanks.

Maybe. But I think probably not. There's no love, mercy, peace, hope, or unity anywhere to be seen for me.

@snowyowl Thank you.

I don't think anyone knows anything about the ultimate reality, only believe things about it. And it disgusts me to see people perform mental gymnastics and then pretend to know. This observable reality is cruel. Everyone are selfish. All love is selfish. If you don't have anything to offer you will be unloved. I don't have anything to offer. And I don't have the ability to build something to offer. It hurts so much to not be liked by anyone, or loved or desired. And to be alone. And to be worthless. Worthless people gets thrown into the trash of loneliness, like if they don't have any emotions. This reality doesn't give a shit about emotions. The pain of being truly, truly worthless is unbearable. I don't find anything enjoyable anymore. So there's nothing for me to do. There is probably some things which I would enjoy but I can't have those things. There is no way out of this. Not professional help, not medication, nothing. I can't stand this stuff anymore. But I will be forced more of this stuff. And on top of this there are many living beings who choose to add even more suffering into the world. Like if what we were thrown into isn't enough. That's really beyond me. And under the "right" circumstances all people are capable of adding more suffering into the world, unfortunately.

My fucking God.. It feels like something is about to happen.. Damn fear. The wall of fear is so strong. Edit: nothing happened this time, I'll go to bed.

Yeah I'm scared when I read it, but as you can see from this thread: I don't have anything to lose. This book really feels like the real deal..

Of course it's a opinion. All conspiracy theories are opinions. It makes no difference whatsoever that he says "it's just my opinion".

And also this made me desperately want to read the book: "In addition, if you do find yourself interested, and are able to see past the words to understand at least some of what they point to, you are likely to find it quite disturbing. Few people buy books on spirituality to be deeply disturbed, so consider yourself forewarned. And finally, if you read it anyway, and what is hinted at here resonates and is by some remote chance followed to its end, then that will likely also be the end of you. So again, a warning. With any luck, you will not come back from this with a life you can call your own; you will not come back at all."

Yep ?

I.. just.. can't.. take.. the stupidity of anti-vaxxers. Man, I seriously need to stop reading this thread. You anti-vaxxers are insane.

@Alysssa@eaaaeaeae @snowyowl Okay, thanks. Well, this weekend has so far been better than usual. I even managed to do some cleaning. And I read "Perfect brilliant stillness" by David Carse. User reviews here: https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Brilliant-Stillness-David-Carse/dp/0976578301 Officially available for free here because it's not copyrighted (good move. It gives it more credibility. Smaller risk that he's lying to get money.): https://www.perfectbrilliantstillness.org/book/ The stuff he say is radical, and I can't relate to the stuff at all, he even say "it's not difficult". So it's difficult to believe in what he's saying. Maybe it's just a rare mental delusion. I don't know.

She isn't smart or conscious. It should be obvious now thanks to her belief in horseshit. It's convenient to have things like Trump, conspiracy theories, and NATO-haters, because whoever supports Trump, believes in conspiracy theories, or is against a membership in NATO is an idiot. Btw, Sweden and Finland should join NATO.

Dude, you rather kill yourself than at least try a psychologist? Yes maybe they would give you medication and hospitalize you, so you get well. You rather die because of your false belief about some kundalini and demon nonsense than get medication and treatment which surely would cure you? That would be so unnecessary.

Beauty implies the existence of ugly.

Well said. Before you edited your message with adding the thing about parents controlling the child I was thinking the same thing. ?

Wrong. It's ugliness, misery/suffering, dispassion, artlessness and hate.

But.. supposedly also these thoughts comes from "the controller" (God). So.. I don't know..

If I don't have free will, then who does? If you say "God" does.. that doesn't tell me much. So there's a invisible man with white beard controlling me or what? Where is this damn God you're talking about? I'm God? Well, obviously not since I'm completely powerless. Anyway.. Then that means: whatever is controlling me, also controls everyone else. So whatever is controlling me, it could suddenly decide to do something completely unexpected, and it could also apply that stuff to everyone else too. So suddenly everyone, including me, would act in whatever way the controller wants. For example one time "the controller" literally forced me to yell out loud: "God is good". It was really scary stuff.

Stop being so paranoid and just take the damn vaccine.

@Alysssa I see. I have never had a gf.. It's not really normal that someone at my age have never had a partner. I get sad every time I see a attractive woman. If I could choose between 100 million dollar or a partner, I would choose a partner. There's nothing else in the entire existence than I desire more than women. So maybe you can imagine how nervous women make me. I don't see them as humans, I see them as something much better than humans. And I don't understand how it's possible that something can be so beautiful, such beauty shouldn't be possible, it makes no sense.

Because of stupidity and fear.

@Alysssa I think I just have bad memory, that's why I don't remember much from my childhood. If we would dig a bit I think we would find out that you still have more social life than I do. And you probably at least have hope of getting a friend or partner or something. The importance of hope can't be overestimated. You probably subconsciously even know that you will get a friend, boyfriend or something. And also you're a woman so you know that you are desired by all men, also that should increase your happiness level even when you are alone. Me on the other hand, since I'm a man I'm not desired by anyone. But yes ok, maybe you have a stronger psyche then, I'm happy for you. I seriously can't imagine how I could be happy alone. There's absolutely nothing to be happy about, nada, even if I would love myself. But I do get more happy when I communicate with someone and feel that the person likes me. I never think in terms of whether something has any use or not. I only think whether it's true or not. I have noticed that people want some kind of use of everything. For example they only care about the ultimate truth of reality if it has some kind of use for them. If it isn't useful then they say: "fuck truth, I don't care about it." Or even worse: they create their own delusional belief about the truth which is useful for them. I'm not denying that I have some worth on some areas. For example for my employer (but my employer could easily replace me) and for my parents. But I'm worthless in pretty much everything else, especially worthless as a friend and bf.

I think I have always been depressed. Or maybe I wasn't depressed when I was a kid, but I don't remember much from my childhood. Easy for you to say that it's not important to have any social life whatsoever, since you have a huge social life. It pisses me off a bit when people who have a big social life say "you don't need a social life". We are social animals, I think loneliness is the biggest contributing factor to depression, and loneliness is also bad for the physical health. Studies have been made about this. Anyone who would be in my shoes would be depressed. I can guarantee that. Actually probably most people would've committed suicide.

@Alysssa 32.

Or your children getting assraped by 20 dirty homeless people with AIDS for 12 hours non-stop, and after that they torture your children to death. @4201 Do you really think that that burning monk didn't have pain and wasn't suffering. Or Peter Ralston when he did the root canal thing. Ok so you still think that pain and suffering is a belief and has nothing to do with reality. I have to say I'm a bit disappointed in you. I don't want to discuss this specific topic about pain and suffering being a belief anymore. Clearly I am right and you are wrong so there's nothing more to discuss here.