Blackhawk

I see, thanks for letting me know. Sometimes I do think about if I should kill myself, but it doesn't take long until I come to the conclusion that I shouldn't.

I want to know why @Loba got so upset at me I think she has blocked me, and I have no idea why. I haven't even talked with her in private. I can't improve if I don't know what I have done wrong.

@snowyowl I see, yes I have heard of FFF. I guess I probably have some kind of social anxiety.

Oic.

I don't really know what that is. But I guess it's about writing. I don't like writing.

But I like men too, but not sexually. It's interesting how I feel love (not romantic) for men too at work for example.

The only thing I love is women. Women is the only meaning of life and existence.

? Don't know what that higher purpose could be. I'm like that guy in many aspects, but also different because all women are desperate for him (that should make him happy) and he's good at talking and he can talk without problem in camera for hundreds of thousands of people (weird form of social anxiety).

Thanks.

Holy shit, I just read the plot, and.. I'm going to watch that movie.

I like that movie. Other than that: I don't know. You're welcome for my answer.

@Godishere I have experienced that stuff too many times. Actually the lesson from those experiences has been: stop seeking for enlightenment. Also it would make sense that there's a good reason why "we" are unlightened. Maybe it's better to be unlightened But, I don't know if my experiences were delusional ones, so nvm I guess. I don't know anything.

Okay, I don't think it would help, but thanks anyway. Thank you for understanding, that makes me feel better. I have my doubts that he is also like a wall, but okay maybe he is, in that case: interesting Also I noticed the word "recently", the question is how many weeks or months you will like it. But okay, maybe it will last, that's great ?

I can't conversate. At all. Not even online. And no it's not something which I can work on. My brain is permanently physically broken. Simple as that. I can't fucking say anything. I'm completely empty and dead inside. No one wants to talk with a wall, let alone be a partner with one. And btw, several people have said exactly just that to me: "talking with you is like talking to a wall", and many other different things about how unhappy they are about me never saying anything.

@RickyFitts @Gianna Can you take that stuff somewhere else. Anywhere but in this thread. It's just that it makes me sad. This is exactly the kind of stuff I don't want to see.

I don't know. Thanks.

Or in other words: the best thing with life is that it wont last forever.

Death. (Death is a part of life. The moment you have life then you also have a death-guarantee. They go together. It wouldn't be nice to live forever.) Or in other words: the best thing with life is that it wont last forever.

Sometimes I do think about whether I should kill myself or not. I know that the smart and rational thing for me would be to kill myself. It would most likely in an instant solve all my suffering and problems. But when you take also others into the equation, then it's not such a easy decision anymore. What I would gain in stopping to suffer, would be lost on my parents suffering more. About 4 years ago I was very close to killing myself. I had everything ready, the rope, suicide letter, etc, but when I was about to do it, I couldn't do it.

Because my problem is so deep roted. So the problem would follow me everywhere. Sorry for writing short answers, I'm trying to write longer answers but nothing comes to my mind.

Thanks. No I don't have a cat. I don't know what to say. Thanks.

I don't think that a new fresh start would help.

Yeah none of it helped. Hehe, well, thanks for trying.

Thanks..

I have tried medication, therapy, etc.. Good that you're out of it now. I have shyness, introversion, and self-doubt. And I don't know what to say. I see. Oh My favorite animal is cats. What is yours?