Blackhawk

Oh okay..

What? Am I reading your post right or am I missing something? You could bet on that I will get a gf before next year? Why the heck do you think that?

Well ok, I agree with you on that one. But with this pace it will take several lifetimes until I can get a gf. Only the best of the best can get a gf. Sometimes it amazes me how anyone can get a gf.

Not everyone. I don't, because I will be single, hated and alone my whole life.

There's also billions of songs with the theme that someone needs his or her partner. For example "I Need Your Love" by Calvin Harris.

It wouldn't be unattractive to me, the opposite. Why the hell does thousands of such pictures show up in google picture search then if they are so unattractive?

Yes, but unfortunately all that nice stuff is non-existent for me. And strictly speaking I can't be 100% sure that other people are even conscious, so maybe no one is experiencing anything nice anywhere in existence. But probably there is other conscious beings who experience nice stuff, even though that can't be proved.

I don't blame her or the women. They can't help it. She and they usually aren't deliberately hurting me (but some women have hurt me deliberately too). But I do blame God (Nature/Reality). Because it's God (Nature/Reality) who has made it all work like this. That's why I said that God is a sadist.

"I make you happy? Okay then I will ditch you. Bye bye hahaha."

But can you see how sadistic it is that once a girl knows that she means something to you, then she will ditch you. So we are never supposed to be happy with a girl, we are supposed to always suffer. Very sadistic.

Here is a good example which shows how God is a sadist. This happened about two weeks ago: I wrote this to a girl (it wasn't a real life relationship): And that made her leave me. Seriously, this world is designed and meant for pain. This is just a tiny example of how we are supposed to suffer, but a unusually good example. The same basic principle applies to everything here. But girls are especially good at hurting and torturing me here. So this cannot be anything other than Hell.

I see, thanks for letting me know. Sometimes I do think about if I should kill myself, but it doesn't take long until I come to the conclusion that I shouldn't.

I want to know why @Loba got so upset at me I think she has blocked me, and I have no idea why. I haven't even talked with her in private. I can't improve if I don't know what I have done wrong.

@snowyowl I see, yes I have heard of FFF. I guess I probably have some kind of social anxiety.

Oic.

I don't really know what that is. But I guess it's about writing. I don't like writing.

But I like men too, but not sexually. It's interesting how I feel love (not romantic) for men too at work for example.

The only thing I love is women. Women is the only meaning of life and existence.

? Don't know what that higher purpose could be. I'm like that guy in many aspects, but also different because all women are desperate for him (that should make him happy) and he's good at talking and he can talk without problem in camera for hundreds of thousands of people (weird form of social anxiety).

Thanks.

Holy shit, I just read the plot, and.. I'm going to watch that movie.

I like that movie. Other than that: I don't know. You're welcome for my answer.

@Godishere I have experienced that stuff too many times. Actually the lesson from those experiences has been: stop seeking for enlightenment. Also it would make sense that there's a good reason why "we" are unlightened. Maybe it's better to be unlightened But, I don't know if my experiences were delusional ones, so nvm I guess. I don't know anything.

Okay, I don't think it would help, but thanks anyway. Thank you for understanding, that makes me feel better. I have my doubts that he is also like a wall, but okay maybe he is, in that case: interesting Also I noticed the word "recently", the question is how many weeks or months you will like it. But okay, maybe it will last, that's great ?

I can't conversate. At all. Not even online. And no it's not something which I can work on. My brain is permanently physically broken. Simple as that. I can't fucking say anything. I'm completely empty and dead inside. No one wants to talk with a wall, let alone be a partner with one. And btw, several people have said exactly just that to me: "talking with you is like talking to a wall", and many other different things about how unhappy they are about me never saying anything.