Blackhawk

@catcat69123 I tried it once. It didn't go well. Now I'm scared to death of psychedelics. I would be crazy if I would take the risk again.

You also want a partner. Everyone does. You guys are underrating how much everyone wants a partner, or at least sex. Basically everything here is fundamentally about that, because that is what keeps our specie alive and makes us expand as a specie. But apparently many of you aren't aware of this stuff. Loneliness is a huge problem. If you think anything else you are wrong (no offense). It's provocative when someone who isn't alone says that loneliness isn't a problem. I would value being close and intimate with a girl, both mentally and physically. At a soul deep level. Share thoughts and everything, make each other happy and feel good. I see this partner thing as something sacred/spiritual, maybe the best way to get deep into reality. A portal. We came into this world from that stuff. Merge with another beautiful soul and become one. Finding my soulmate. And I think it also makes you grow as a person like nothing else can, and maybe as a soul too. Yesterday I met a girl in a game called "Second life", and it was one of the nicest experiences that I have ever had. And we didn't even have sex at that time (but you can have that too). And it felt like it made reality itself melt. A million synchronicities started to happen, deja vu, lots of deep existential/spiritual insights started to pop up, and stuff.

Hardwired survival instinct. Fear of death. Not making my parents sad (me committing suicide would make them sad). A small belief that maybe we are here to learn and grow, and that suicide would impede that process.

No I haven't. I read about it a bit now and it seems to pretty much be a natural version of Fluoxetine, which is a anti-depressant, which I have tried. St John's wort also pretty much has the same side effects as Fluoxetine. Natural doesn't always mean that it's good and safe. My loneliness is my biggest problem. But I think it's only a partner which I want. I don't feel a desire to have friends. I don't try to get a partner because I don't have any hope of ever getting one. So don't even give me advice about how you think I could find one. I'm not expecting my situation to ever improve. So I'm not really even asking for advice/help now. But I wont stop you guys from trying to help.. I guess it's nice if people answer with something, even when what they say wont help.

@Raptorsin7 I take a multivitamin supplement, and D vitamin. I have tried anti-depressants, doesn't help. I did solo traveling one time, just to our neighbor country Finland, didn't like it. I wouldn't like traveling anywhere else either. No I'm not interested in a meditation retreat..

I can't listen to Jordan. I don't understand anything that he says. Leo is best, no one can beat him. I clearly understand every word that he says, and I can listen to him for many hours and not lose concentration. With Jordan I lose my concentration after one word.

I'm so fucking dead And sad I'm even crying a bit. Which I usually never do.

Blah blah.. mental gymnastics and beliefs.. Who the heck knows. Just screw everything.

I love that quote by Thomas Ligotti: "Nonexistence never hurt anyone. Existence hurts everyone." - Thomas Ligotti Why didn't I think of that. I already knew the whole idea so I could have created that one myself.

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I seriously do not understand how any guy can get a gf. Because for example literally even a average looking girl can get many thousands of hungry good looking and charming guys chasing her on instagram (and everywhere else). It's just mind boggling. I as a guy simply cannot get a gf when things are like that. There's always a huge amount of guys who are better than me in every area.

It's like a fucking joke, because even if I find someone, then other obstacles shows up. Like time zone difference, my night shift work preventing me from seeing her enough, and stuff. It's seriously like reality is actively stopping me from having a gf.

I'm 33.

Well this was a nice surprise. Thanks for being so forgiving, instead of immediately locking the thread, banning me, and going all crazy, haha.

I don't change opinion about facts.

Or I'm just saying how things actually are. Anyways, please don't punish me.. just lock the thread if that's what Leo and moderators want to do.. I wont repeat this stuff again (but my opinion/understanding/knowledge will remain, which I will keep to myself). You can't walk around with a opinion forever and never let it out.

Just venting.

You guys are all crazy with your delusional beliefs. If some guys can do it it doesn't mean that everyone can. And no believing that something will work wont make it work. If that would be the case I would have got a gf before when I thought I could.

It's not a belief because I have seen it myself. Girls don't want to have anything to do with me.

You are assuming that I'm able to make friends. I'm not.

I'm not expecting results. It's hopeless to try anymore. I have gone through the trying phase, so I have gave up now.

That sounds good and nice, that's what we all hope for, but in reality it's like this: me being me isn't good enough, and there's many guys who are much better than me. No.

Better personality, looks, game, resources, everything.

Leo and moderators.. if you don't like this thread (which you wont) I hope you will just lock it, and not give me warning points or something. It's not like I spam this stuff all the time.

And also to you guys who miraculously somehow have managed to get a gf: how does it feel that there's billions of guys who are better than you? And it's just a matter of time until your gf stumbles upon one of them, which will lead to her leaving you or (God forbid) cheating on you? Sitting on a ticking bomb. I couldn't live like that. How do you sleep at night?