I have never meditated even once but I have almost all the things Leo mentioned in this video! Things I'm experiencing:
Mood swings including severe anger/depression/ hyper judgementalism/hyper crankiness/ burst into laughing randomly / arrogance
Heavy waves of feelings of disgust and loneliness, anger about the political or societal situation even though normally I don't care / freak out moments at other people
Extreme sex drive where I masturbate literally 7 times a day
Constant bizarre fantasies, disgusting sexual fantasies
Waking up with thoughts uncontrollably buzzing around my mind like a hornets nest, always having rapid thoughts like the monkey thing
Suicidal thoughts and being brought to tears and having my head almost in pain from the meaninglessness/suicidal thoughts
My dreams are absolutely insane but I rarely remember them or block them out
CONSTANTLY getting old repressed memories of things I regret or are embarrassed about bubbling up to the point where I literally freeze in place from the pressure, constantly remembering things my family did to me as a kid that bother me and feeling anger
I haven't experienced the uncommon stuff he mentions like paranormal stuff or merging but I have some vague memories like that from when I was very little that I barely remember, so it's unrelated.
I have been like this for years, or even longer and it's getting worse, and I don't know what to do to stop it and get better. Because of all the rash judgements and ideas I can barely focus and am not accomplishing much of anything or being productive and I don't know what to do.
