Striving for more

Yesterday I fapped 2 times in 1 hour & I watched porn. I have an urge to do it again but I am starting my pick up journey in about 1-2 weeks when I am able to fix my logistics. So I will need that sexual energy. I need the law of state transference in my favor, so this is motivational reminder, Don't Fap ! After today I will probably never use this account again. I will need fresh start. New year, big dreams, big goals. Going off pixel screen now, headphones in, outside darkness FTW, Meditative, no youtube no internet, resist.

https://theconversation.com/why-you-shouldnt-wrap-your-food-in-aluminium-foil-before-cooking-it-57220#:~:text=These conditions may include high,rate of human brain cells. Here we goooo again. ANOTHER ONE !! Aluminium Foil isn't innocent either!! Wait .. isn't it the same thing andy cutler mentioned? I need to check this ... I need to get more details on this. This is holding me back from starting chelation, the uncertainty of whether she did it right cos my intution telling me she's a dumb bitch that fucked it up.

So I consume "Organic" Cacoa powder But maybe that doesn't mean shit right? Good advice I'll try & see if I can rsearch it The brand is : sevenhill foods ALso, I eat flax seeds, does this count as concentrated & contaminated like powders too?

Long Rants about Health Incoming : No one is pointing out the paradox that the more unhealthy you are, the more you need to fix it, but the more unhealthy you are, the less likely you are to have the awareness, drive, power or energy to fix it. So if the more you have mercury & a bunch of toxicity for e.g., say you also have Lowered IQ, motivation memory testosterone, you're way less likely to go through all this intense research & constant trial & error to solve these issues. To make things worse, most people aren't even likely to realize these problems exist, and especially if they have lowered IQ, motivation memory testosterone ect... they are even less likely to look in to these things, more likely to dismiss it if they hear about it & forget about it. So their entire life's ruined coz of that, but like a fish in water they probably accepted their problem as normal & never looked outside. So the paradox is the less you have any of these problems, the easier it would be to solve all these problems, but that person may benefit somewhat, but not so much as the guy with low IQ, mood disorder, Autism & ADD Insomnia & chronic fatigue. It makes me sick how little awareness & concern 95% + people have for these issues. Whenever I am around family it just makes me fucking sick how they drink tap water, milk, eat "just whatever", think filtering water or caring about organic or non plastic ect.. is over the top try hard conspiracy shit, never question anything like the fucking stupid sheep they are, how my mum had multiple fillings when she conceived me, and she never questioned it, never even noticed, and then I came alive and "Oh he's autistic" (I'm not exactly), but she noticed that & fucking stupidly I had mental problems & that education would solve that and that's what all these stupid parents think, as if special math classes will solve the problem , when really it's just the diet & toxicity & all this other shit. And fuck you dad! you dumb fuck. With all your fucking 10 year old teflon pans & all that, and you just fucking reuse them & never buy new ones, you dumb fucking moron. You toxic pathetic influence, you are not my father you are nothing to me, such a joke a of a man. I do wish I had stage green family but oh well, I thank god that still at this ripe age I am becoming woke to the truths of health, still finding out so much more every day. It just pissing me off so much, This isn't a rant about woes me, it's just the world in general, this health forum has completely changed my entire perspective on health & really, on life. To realize that so much of health is not in your control, but is down to luck and worse, is down to the selfishness & indifference of those in power, like the lead corporations & the cigarette marketers & dentists & how basically none of these authorities with so much influence & power can be trusted, that's the key lesson this health forum has taught me : Never trust anything & question everything. ... Everything I thought was either normal or healthy, often times it turned out to be the opposite. Shampoo, tinned tuna, plastic wrapped sandwiches, gluten, dairy, potatoes, tap water, Nivea moisturizing cream, there's probably hundreds of more stuff I'm unable to recall The qoute that really hit me hard the most was "imagine how many prisoners ended up in prison because of mercury poisoning", which is almost philosophical because society tends to just assume that crime is merely a moral dilemma. But it makes sense, if toxin exposures cause brain toxicity, that harms the prefontal cortex, with a weaker preforontal cortex it's harder to plan & think ahead. Crime & bad choice often isn't even a lack of morals it's just an inability to process the consequences of your actions in the moment, or an inability to resist the impulsive urge to act. It makes me so angry what those lead companies did, I wish there was a way to bring those guys back to life, put them in a room & have them tortured for 100 years.

I want to move to a city but it only has a population size of about 800K people, whereas my other option this city has about 7 million people. But, the former is less spread out & smaller, so maybe more dense & can be more targeted. I also think I like the former better for overall happiness. But I am very serious about pick up at this year, I am wondering if 800K people is too small, I need heavy abundance, fuck being needy or constantly competing with other guys

@dtlender Realize that you don't need a "decent job" to make money. See this as a blessing in disguise. Open your mind up & start looking in to self - employment or online business strategies. A great insight I had was that fucking my life up & hitting rock bottom is was the most beautiful thing, let everyone else get comfortable with their 20-50K A year wage slave office job and uni degree. Whereas you've hit rock bottom & are forced to be more creative, you're not comfortable, necessity is the mother of invention. Let your life turn full circle, being at the start of the circle is closer to the other side than being in the middle. Those comfortable guys are far of fin the middle.

Currently stuck in my country & at home where I don't want to be. Struggling with lack of balance & social contact, I'll have to wait a bit longer. I woke up early today 6am > but I tried to snooze & it was a waste, I started the day badly & I also burnt through my glucose reserves 1 too many times by making futile micro decisions "Do I eat cheese or not, do I go to the gym now or in an hour? do I take the bus or walk? Do I use this pen or that pen?" ...So much glucose being burnt. I need to get to a structured day, I need to save my fuel for important decisions & I need to "eat the frog" in the morning, deep work straight away or my hardest tasks or most boring tasks, since much of what have to do currently Is do boring, I need to ensure that I do it in the morning cos I barely stand a chance in the evening. Still in debt at the moment so I need to focus this month and capitalize. I want to make 10K but I will settle with 5K. In the gym, listened to leo's "40 signs you are neurotic video", I am neurotic, I spend so much time in my head, body tense, judging people, looping thoughts, ruminating on the past, how I'm getting older, how I'll be 30 in a blink of an eye, oh that dreaded number 30, ah need to be 16 again ect.... "I want Mecury to solve these issues" wait what fuck no bitch that takes ages, lifestyle change will solve these issues, fuck off bro. aving more balance & success in life will defo also help that's probably 50-80% of the problem, will see anyway, but yh overthinking now, the fucking good life, entrepreneur lifestyle "ESTJ" Type coming. My empathy is not very high at the moment, beta males fucking disgust me, unsuccessful people disgust me, mediocre people disgust me, and that part of myself disgusts me. More neuroticism. Focus on positivity, focus on success, focus on that which you want, release the dirty thoughts sometimes but spew it out there, get it out & let go.

I'm lucky in that I was born very funny. For me my problem is not being in a confident mood or being stuck in my head or logical mind ect... This blocks my natural ability. I have mostly sucked in social situations because these blockers have got in the way, so my natural ability couldn't shine through. But in those occasional moments when I'm in flow & I don't give a fuck, I'm the funniest guy in the room, it's almost like a mythical superpower but again I'm not here to brag, I'm saying that normally I'm not able to access it, because normally i'm stuck in my head or not in flow. But 1 time this summer I was totally in flow & I had so much charisma & humour that night that it was like everyone there (all new strangers) had their attention on me because I would keep on cracking jokes, it was like this slightly cocky but also very funny vibe, it was sort of like this vibration coming out of me, it's hard to explain. I compare my ability to Leo Messi in soccer, something mythical that you can't teach. My only key insight here would be > Remove all the barriers that prevent you from being funny, your state of mind & flow is as important as canned techniques. If you want motivation to be funny, see humour as a spiritual pursuit, also realize that it's one arsenal that can shortcut your success in life, especially in general popularity & gaining more female friends too, but the reason is spiritual, not logical (u could argue it's logical but lets not go there). U want to be funny or u want funny friends for the related reasons that you want to hear music when you socialize, and it's lubrication, stimulation, emotional emancipation, it's relief, it's healing, it connecting, disarming, charming.

Doing pickup is a lot more personal & human & less objectifying than stuck staring at pixel screens on your own watching porn

@Leo Gura Can delete this post there's enough notes on here anyway.

Does anyone have NEAT ORGANIZED CONZISE How to get laid part 1 2 & 3 E.G categories/topics bullet points Action steps Bullet points Traps / Avoid Bullet points Yes if needed I will formulate my own notes im not lazy it's just I listened to all of them at the gym but looking to save time atm eternaldrip notes I don't like, too messy no bullet points repeating points ect.. * Edit tbh decent notes thanks a lot! I am just perfectionist but these will do as backup

Ah here we goo again ... Debates & stating the obvious. Yes .. pickup isn't the answer to everything in life, we all get it. These convos get so boring now, heard them 1000 times. No one cares about your grand philosophies of pickup. I empathize u seem like you have adhd & I'm similar, but look this thread was about a simple question & you're going off on these annoying tangents I mean tangents are sometimes ok if they're at least valuable & insightful, but you're just talking blabber mouthing

Wtf is a metroplex. Metro this metro that confusing. Wait why does the metroplex population matter more? Doesnt metroplex include areas you're unlikely to visit

No This is stupid. 18+ is fine for me. 18 - 70 I don't care. It's the spice of life to have differences. How boring to have rules like that. Age differences, ethnicity differences ect... 18 + is my only rule & I'll never change that with age.

... I barely travelled enough to give valuable answer ("don't judge that which u lack experience") ... but I'd say Definitely >> USA, Mexico, Thailand, Spain, Budapest, Columbia Probably > France, Italy, Brazil, Poland, Amsterdam, I'm 50/50 about France though. I have no game experience there, so culturally & infrastructure wise I dunno ... but ... they women consistently beautiful & feminine & I'm actually shocked by how often I notice this, I tend to see a pretty French girl more often than otherwise.

There's many problems with London. Too big, horrible weather, expensive, clubs suck & they rarely let you in unless you have women with you. Bouncers are assholes. People are rude & miserable. Girls attitude sucks. Lots of ugly women. Endless list. You can have a different opinion, but I dislike the UK like Hitler hated the Jews. Amsterdam looks cool you're right. still wouldn't chose it over somewhere like New York though. I would take it, but Dutch girls never struck me as that attractive.

800K Doesn't mean 800K available attractive sociable women. When you consider an actual night out in 1 area of the city, the numbers will be much much less than that. But I'm sure you could still learn game with 800K, just saying its not actually 800K

Switzerland is boring &. Same with Belgium UK Germany ect.. very stale & lame.

Yeah it also can get diluted by an elderly population, gender ratio is important & also landmarks like parks, commercial areas, transport & of course clubs bars ect... New York is proably an ideal example but theres no realistic way for me to move there. Yeh good point las vegas may only have 600K, But a huge majority of that 600K = attractive sociable datable women, all concentrated within similar areas .. which might be higher than the amount of attractive sociable datable women in a city with 7 million people, but spread out much wider & including elderly ect..

Cocoa powder + Green tea is very stimulating. Try with L theanine too. I need lower my dose cocoa is giving me massive sweats and jitters. Just take in small doses.

In 2 days my account will be "deleted". Well I'll leave it on here. But I will create a new account. This new account will be like a robotic scientist, in a good way. I will document progress & extract value & use the 80/20 will for a profile of the best bookmarks, best of the best. & There will be no bullshit, I will be become a robotic scientist, but for the greater good of this forum & for myself, at this stage I need strategy, results, tests measurements money all these robotic scientific things. Fuck how I feel or my opinion, no one cares. I'm here to fix my health & get the money (and everything else too of course, but it all starts with health & survival as foundation, but sure I will juggle multiple if possible, but health & survival = foundation)

I think I'm about to pack my shit & go. I'm not ready, I'll probably forget something, probably won't even be allowed on the bus with this heavy ass pc. At this stage I'd rather loose $100 then wait around, at least I know if I gotta sell it, but I can't leave it without copying the data, too much on there that isn't synced. I wish I could just get a plane instead, now I know how immigrants feel, slightly, the hassle, 2 days on a nasty bus. Feeling pretty depressed, I wish I wasn't miserable yesterday, I wish I wasn't so resentful to family, I wish I would've let go, I wish I had a better finish to this year, fucked up all my goals again, chose to be miserable again, fucking hate myself for that. Anti spiritual. I'm depressed right now but I'm not ungrateful, I have god on my side, I find humility, I find faith right now. I will need to uplift my spirit once again, there is no way I can make friends when I look like this.

I fapped today. Bad decision. Streak back to Zero Feel some Apathy in my body. NOnono. Not what I need right now.

Negative state didn't go away, disappointment didn't go away, regret didn't go away. being productive didnt help. I need the srtate to leave first. apparently im meant to feel it intensely so I will try this now. This better fucking work. so anger I need a punchbag so bad, where the fuk are you punchbag, i cant break objects. where the fuk. so much guilt & shame. I can't accept reality. I can't accpet lack of perfection. ... Theres no solution. Tried phsyical expression tried doing nothing, I cant feel it because its already stuck within my body feeling only surfacde layer doesnt work. Just going to be miserable & still do what I need to do, see if the action takes it away, it probably will, what the fuck else is there, going to be miserable & positive.

I have just reframed my state of mind. It is my duty to embody a positive state. The brain is like a separate entity, but me, my soul my mind is the brain's child The brain must not bully that child, mustn't be an angry toxic father I Have a duty to society to be charismatic, to be the best version of me, to smile even when I want to play victim or just indulge in sadness. The best me is charismatic, enchanting, the best me humorous, the best me has some humility but is also cocky, but in the right way, amusingly cocky , but not overbearingly so. Women love the best me. The best me is intuitive, the best me brings people up, the best me is creative & the best me is perseverance. The shadow me is nihilistic, the shadow me is like a poison. It's batman VS the Joker here, It's the Faustian battle. This month I will try to be the best me, for 30 days straight. Life is too short for half ass challenges, fuck self help I'm just becoming a god right this second no more backsliding ever again. FUCKING PERFECTION.