Striving for more

@Opo It makes me feel really really out of the present moment & I don't like the defensiveness & debating and arguments.

g

The point about rambling on without making a clear point really got to me. I used to listen to that shit at 3am smoking weed thinking I was doing "self help". From now on I will always just close the self - help video if I notice there is no clear useful points being made after 5 minutes. Even if its a vid of Leo's, as no one is perfect, there must be a point to the info I consume. Also - I have made the decision to avoid politics entirely from now on. Otherwise I might develop some messed up opinions. I say this because from my POV - I don't care about politics, but I also don't want to be on the wrong side of it either. I just want to improve my life and then help others, I don't think politics should be for everyone, definitely not 1 of my interests. Having said that, I still do have a desire to help others. Just don't like politics

I really want to smash everything I own to pieces and kill myself

I just smashed my room up and broke my stuff because I am so FUCKING ANGRY I WANT IT TO FUCKING FUCKING GO MAN FUCK JUST GO AWAY JUST FUCK OFF JUST GO I just broke loads of my shit What's the fucking point STUCK it doesn't come every day sometimes it's 8 hours sleep then 7 hours then 5 hours then 7 then 5 hours But the 5 is wayyy too low for me 5 hours and im angry as fuck tired as fuck like a zombie get nothing done so I lose 1 to 2 3rds of my life at least

@Raphael It's an article. It may or may not be credible .... But I am of the strong opinion that I am just fucked becasue I have no control over my inosmnia, which is 1 of the worst illnesses to have and makes life not worth living and impossible Even getting 5 hours most nights is still very ver bad > that alone is enough of a reason to die. I have so much desire to win at life, but life won't give me a chance. All these healthy bastards take it for granted, they are allowed to sleep 7 hours a night and they just watch tv Fucking bastards

Lets say I watch (practical) Actualized.org video : "How to harness your intuition" Or let's say "How to be an attractive man" or something like that Is it enough to watch it and then take notes. Because often I forget it & forget to apply it. Is it better to then go and continually listen to other teachers / perspective on the same topic, even if they're saying the same thing, just to deepen my understanding or drill in the message more.

And I just actually hope that it's HEAVY METAL toxicity because then there's a clear cause. And I agree with you@Sempiternity My dad snores like a fucking elephant and it drives me absolutely crazy. I'm especially sensitive to sound and light, but even the average Joe wouldn't want to hear him snore. I'll be moving back out soon - hopefullly that will give me more space to try and solve my issues. No matter how bad the problem is in life - I have no fear, no pain towards it. But when it comes to unsolvable problems, that drives me insane. Again I don't want to be defeatist I will promise this forum that I will try to solve my problems because I have so much to offer the planet, but if they can't be solved, I'm gonna disappear and enjoy my death

@Arcangelo I'll consider weed and CBD ... i'll look into ordering it. But in my country to buy in person you have to get dodgy weed which often times makes me feel insane and fucks me up for days. All of these comments about being 45 and still having these issues are depressing as fuck. If my problems don't start to improve by 25 i'll kill myself. I don't want to live a shitty life, I want the perfect life. Either these problems get solved or im gone

My insomnia seems to be not stopping. But i haven't tried hard enough yet, although im getting angrier & more twitchy, its hard to focus on anything other than being angry at life. Fortunately I have worked hard enough to have some savings I am literally pouring all my savings in to trying to cure my health, goodbye other dreams & interests cos they don't mean shit till this is solved. Time to buy a ton of supplements, andy cutlers book, filling removals, detoxes time to everything If nothing works & I know I've done my best, I'll kill myself as a way to get back at God for punishing me. Hopefully the practices will work ill give myself 1-2 years before I consider death

Music is one of the best ways to find and express truth, they say a picture paints a thousand words but a song can add more emotion, can be dynamic and multi layered. Don't quit unless you actually hate music, which I doubt. Good music is very needed in this era.

@Recursoinominado so how the hell am I meant to develop good game ? Because I " want something from women" ... Yes I want sex, maybe some connection. I'm not a rapist. But I actually want to sleep around a lot at my stage of life, and do it successfully with hot girls. Given that I haven't got laid in a long long time, and I also want to sleep with lots of girls, how the hell am i meant to achieve this without "wanting it" ? It's harsh because every time I have the chance to approach they definitely smell the desperation. I wish their was a way to pretend I have a lot of options, but still approach and create attraction without the neediness, low valueness.

@PurpleTree SAME HERE - I used to eat 3 tuna cans every day from september 2019 - novermber 2019 - that's like 60-90 cans lol And my grandma fed them to me as a child saying "fish is good for the brain" ( the irony )

@mmKay AHHH RHRHRH I litterally have them in 24/7 every fucking day. Everything is fucking poisonous how am I meant to enjoy my life and still be healthy. fed up

@jj40 Not saying content isn't helpful but perhaps you've got content overload. Maybe going away would clear your head ... and you'd naturally connect the dots from the content you've consumed and all your life experience.

@jj40 Hmm this is just an inkling but I may be completely wrong ... "" the idea of getting in my car and driving away to explore. But I feel like I am just running away "" Maybe that's what you need to do ? Stop trying to make a decision for a bit, stop looking for a purpose. Just run away. Just get in your car & travel somewhere, another country, in nature, completely different, Maybe it will come to you then. Maybe through the power of free association, you will make a connection. But maybe this only happens when you shut off the logical mind, & change scenery. BTW : Watch leo's 2016 video "how to harness your intuition" (I'm watching this now It seems very very insightful)

@TripleFly Are you actually serious lol ? How the hell am I a late bloomer ? I'm 23 ... Most people never think about this shit. Most people are stuck in poverty or mediocrity their whole life. Most people don't even know self help is a thing.

@Leo Gura That sounds real scary. Will I feel noticeably better & how fast can I reverse the damage from the removal. Should I read the full andy cutler book before I order removal as well

@neutralempty Confused ; a former friend had metal fillings or plastic? Do you still have plastic and how have they affected you.

@Leo Gura my bad, this thread should be in the life purpose section

It's not that youtube prenium is great > it's just that regular youtube & youtube music are annoying as fuck ... constant annoying ads every video, it's like how with trains & plains they just lower the quality of the regular seats, to make the premium seats cost more.

Using high quality Bluetooth Ear buds > Makes exercise easier & great for jogging and many other things. Good for phone calls as well. I currently using Jaybird Vista - They're good, not perfect but depends on your budget i'm sure there's even better ones.

@neutralempty Ok, did you also have a mercury filling removed ? If so did you notice immediate benefits

@Villager Albert Thank you Villager. Yeah it's weird honey does help a bit. That's confusing that cold showers help ... I normally have a hot shower before bed - do you think that's counterproductive? It's confusing because I thought cold showers increased adrenaline & cortisol - so were appropriate for mornings - It always wakes me up in the morning.

@Harikrishnan What I meant to say is .. is there any other criteria or checklist for trusting these dentists or is the SMART label / being in this list definitely enough and is there a list of things I have to clarify with them before procedures ie; based on the cutler book (I am extremely ignorant about dentistry and science sorry)