Striving for more

@How to be wise I really don't agree that face is the only thing they judge you on. I still disagree that women only care about looks. I've seen girls become into guys who they didn't fancy initially due to confidence. That's gotta be total bullshit.

@How to be wise WTF LOL ? REALLY ? Cmonn 3 seconds ... that sounds ridiculous. Women are not super computer robots. They change their minds, mood. Or are you trying to say that all that matters is looks?

@Roy Ohhh don't we miss the slavery of the Overton window, how great is mainstream media right back in the "good old days" where blacks were being portrayed as sub human apes & cannabis was demonized like it's Heroin, at least everyone believed crazy nonsense back then right

Did you make that claim off of pure gut ? I didn't expect that answer. Why would that make him insecure if he's happily married ect.. ? Doesn't seem like Elliot hulse cared about pick up. @mmKay

@Roy Have you ever been a day trader ? Guys with strategy and discipline make serious money trading ... it is NOT the same as gambling if you know what you are doing & have a strategy that works. Let me explain to you how it works : Strategy = High probability overall of making profit, but you will lose on some trades. But due to good risk to reward ratio of every trade you take, you will always win more often than you lose, and because of the low risk (that comes from you're "stop loss order" ... even when you lose, it is negligible ... but when you win > you win a lot So also with the probabilitiy set ups even when if you one once and lost 3 times, the winnings of that win would be so much higher than the 3 loses that you would still earn money, this wouldn't happen anyway.

@StarStruck I know the perfect course for you. Dm me if you want. The course has the perfect big book list too. "Only need $4-5K" - BULLSHIT. You need at bare minimum 10K, but realistically 25K + If you look into the course, it teaches you how to get funded for $100K. This isn't a scam, there are no get rich quick schemes, you would need to watch all the videos, study it hard & practice with demos for a while.

@hamedsf LOOLZ.

@Michal__ I think I am sensitive to caffiene .... BUT ... I popped a 50mg caffeine pill today & I did not experience the side effects I got from tea. When I drink coffee similar reaction I think, it's actually worse with tea though I quit daily coffee last month anyway.

Interesting. What's causes & cures for yeast overgrowth? Did you do the detox? How did it affect you? @neutralempty

@Michael569 I find keeping up with minerals & vitamins in food very overwhelming, is there table or image that lists foods that contain most essential thing for energy, cognition. e.g > Table : CHOLINE/OMEGAS/IRON/VITIMIN X Y Z/ FOOD A / FOOD B / FOOD C /FOOD D

@How to be wise I kind of disagree here. It's not a given that every girl will always smile >> some people have resting bitch faces, some girls feel too shy to smile right away. What if she quickly looks away but makes eye contact again once or twice? Also surely, a girl could be "not interested" at first, but when you talk to her ... she becomes interested (because you're funny, confident, triggering the right buttons ect..) Feel free to disagree

@oMarcos At this stage a face mask is irrelevant. My own mind is a big enough obstacle, it was there before face masks.

4th JAN 2021 ... (HOW DO I KEEP THINKING IT'S DECEMBER WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME HAHA) (1) TRAIN APPROACH - POSITIVE : Sitting on empty train. 2 Hot foreign girls sit opposite me. They talk foreign languages (Sexy!) & I keep reading my book, with my earphones in. I know straight away this is a golden opportunity,... now feeling fear in my stomach.... I pretend to look at my phone for a couple minutes ... I grab my bools > take off my headphones & interrupt them > " I agree " I say as a joke (they speaking French/Arabic) > Girl ignores me for 5 seconds (shit test ??) > I look at the girl again & say "agree" From there she drops her guard > we start speaking about languages & it's a nice chat. Unfortunately the train ended shortly (cockblock!) ... Then the girls said goodbye & walk off I walk off (trying to not act needy, in my head thinking "please come back I love both of you!") Then I see police & use that as an opportunity to make a joke to the girls & they laugh Now I just walk off (I do have to get a different train now) **CONFUSION POINT Would asking for a number here have worked? I didn't do it anyway it felt too rushed ... or perhaps I pussied out? * AREA FOR IMPROVEMENT Should have spoken to them STRAIGHT AWAY ... (time was limited here) Should have capitalized on a topic that lead to a close* : e.g "Oh I've always wanted to learn French .. how about I take your guys number and you could teach me" (??) (2) TRAIN NO APPROACH - FUCKING PUSSIED OUT : I get on train & sit down > then super cute girl sits down ... but on the adjacent carriage straight away I make eye contact with the girl ... & we return eye contact another 2/3 times !! But this time, there are other passengers on the train ** CRUCIAL POINT - the train (tube) starts moving ... "Just go over to the over carriage & sit near her, introduce yourself straight away, ignore that there's others on the train" I Hesitate .... "It's too late now I think" I keep looking back at her (& she still shows some interest!) but I do nothing. I sit on the train in cowardice for 10 minutes. Almost at my stop ... I get up & move by the door (Next to her) still thinking to maybe ask her then .. ah too late I leave I leave feeling regret ... "she was my type, she actually made eye contact ... You dummy ... SHE WAS OPEN TO APPROACH - SHE SENT SIGNALS" *WEAKNESS / AREA TO IMPROVE I couldn't get over the fact that there were multiple other passengers on the train / near her (Even though she showed interest ) I couldn't get over the fact i was sitting on the other carriage, & that "it would seem forced" if I went near her The self - consciousness / fear of public embarrassment overtook me.

@How to be wise 1. Due to restrictions I doubt there's any parties any time soon. 2. Even without restrictions, there wouldn't be like a party going on every day (Maybe you're an LA celeb, I'm not). 3. Cold approach can be done anywhere, everywhere. It's infinitely abundant. Thanks for the encouragement guys. But really, I still have a long way to go. Years & years of pussying out won't get reprogrammed over night.

@Hello from Russia Yeah, the brand is PG Tips, (UK brand).

(***Not talking about clinical depression > some people are born with that or have severe trauma & it's not a choice at all .... I'm talking the more common kind) I subconsciously miss being depressed. It had a bitter sweet taste, it was kinda addictive. P.S > I'm not exactly happy currently > but I used to be very depressed and I miss it, I miss the wine and listening to melancholy music in the dark, I miss smashing stuff up. I'm not saying I want to self sabotage right now, but I think I need a taste of that shadow, I feel like I have a lot of repressed baggage. I'm thinking to do a cocktail of the aforementioned ^ but to add a positive spin to it, like "cry to keep going", or "visualize my severe pain from the past & integrate it" I haven't cried in a long time and I rarely ever do, but I sort of want to, I want to cry but in an angry / motivational way > I want to mix those emotions together as I've felt very repressed recently. I'm probably not being very clear here, what i'm saying is sort of complex, but if anyone gets where i'm coming from

@Michael569 I'm now drinking filtered water. I eat oats, fruits (bananas, oranges, tomato), I eat dark chocolate every day - 80-90% I eat vegetables, sometimes meat or fish, sometimes lentils, peas. cucumber. Brown rice. I do eat bad food sometimes, but way less than most people. I use olive oil and don't drink dairy milk. I do eat butter sometimes I take l theanine and creatine powder and sometimes green tea.

@Leo Gura My diet is already far better than the majority of the population. Not perfect but I mostly eat healthy food. I know people that don't care about their diet, drink alot ect.. and they still have far better cognition, focus and mental health than me. Diet has not improved my OCD 1 bit. I'm relying on ACC because I can't really think of anything else.

I have a stage red shadow. I want competition, I want wild - west life. This world is too boring for me. I want to fight to the death. I feel some envy, jealousy, not at anyone in particular, but other men that are winning. I want to fight off the alphas to be the alpha of alpha. I fortunately have a left brain that functions sufficiently to not act on these desires, but I genuinely want this. I want to be fighting other cowboys to the death, to win over the gold, the wife. I need a virtual reality console so I can live out this fantasy in private. Lol.

Does anyone know if reishi mushrooms are a nootropic and improve cognition. I've heard rumours they are "lucky mushrooms" - could they make people more lucky? : ))) I've tried lions mane tablets but I didn't really like the effect. It was either neutral or negative.

@kras Andy Cutler's mercury detoxification guide. OCD is a symptom listed with heavy metal toxicity.

Andy fucking cutler's mercury detoxification Guide. Read it , apply it, see if it works. I am reading this currently - nothing has ever cured my OCD yet, I am putting all my faith on the ACC, if this shit doesn't work after 2 years, I'm gonna kill myself. Keep dreaming, you can cure OCD, I believe in you.

@mmKay I think you're definitely right on that point but you're kinda missing the point of my post. I'm talking about also how I want to express/integrate some of those negative emotions & fed up of repression.

I am keeping my goals to 1 approach per day for this week, but next week I will do 1 CLOSE per day, a rejection counts, I just have to ask for the number/date - I intuit this is a key bridge for truly transcending approach anxiety and increase "boolsyness".

2nd December 2021 Approached a MILF in the park. Good eye contact and body language. Main issue > DID NOT CLOSE. Did not lead the conversation. Too much platonic, aimless chatter. I need to just close next time, STOP PUSSYING OUT I need to feel in to the embarrassment, cringe shame, feel in to it and do the counterintuitive thing. Tried to "chat up" colleagues friend, received 2 big shit tests. Failed the first one. Possibly passed the second shit test but then I waffled for too long > this probably showed I care too much, was being too try had, and showed that I'm not a smooth talker yet. I was surprised the second shit test didn't work that well, I didn't realize how deep girls could see through a façade of confidence.