Striving for more

@UNZARI Bro you're conflating being alpha & dominance with a women being successful at work. This is utter stage blue 1950's nonsense. Cut it out. Just because she's the breadwinner doesn't make her not feminine & it doesn't mean you can't be dominant or masculine. You can be that way through the energy you exude & obviously in the bedroom. Not caring about what others think about you is one of the most important steps you need to take for a fulfilling & peaceful life. Easier said than done, I still can struggle with it... Just laugh it off & say haha fuck you I don't care what you think. Fuck cultural standards!

I had a cup of tea today ... what a terrible idea. I have been sweating in the face very hard for about 2 hours. My skin is now red and pale. Feel light headed and it's hard to concentrate. Also feel slightly shaky. The most noticeable symptom by far is the face sweating I only had about 1/3rd of the tea, not even a large amount. P.s : this does not occur with herbal tea, or green tea. I often feel better overall after any of these. I just drank a chia tea now which has somewhat dampened the negative symptoms from the tea. Fuck Tea. Never again.

Just stay focused. Stay cold when negative emotional thoughts arise, get more emotional when positive thoughts arise, forget my precious ego. Drop comparing myself to others. Drop the anger, no harness anger, harness negativity, Opposites attract, negative positive (I'm Einstien Lol look haha Just keep the upbeat music, keep the deep breathing, keep the high energy, forget the decade of lost life, forget my current situation, forget the past, only keep the dream life in centre gravity, push the rest to the periphery. Forget the shit area I'm in & all the shit people. Forget the shit weather. Forget everything. Practical Delusion time. Practical self illusion. Going in to the 4th dimension now. Keep up the self belief, even if it's fake, pretend it's true. Pretend I am a creative genius, maybe it will become true. Even some arrogance will do. Forget the frustration, just keep the high energy music, keep the dreaming. Used to be lost in a fantasy world & my life was chaos. But I wanna harness the fantasy world, everything starts from a dream, I want my life to be a movie, 1 people would go to see if they could. Can't deal with an ordinary existence.

I think I need to rethink my journals because it has turned in to more ranting & emotional outbursts, which is fine but I've got to the point now where I want to let that stuff go as it becomes a distraction to ACTUAL RESULTS. I am going to make my journals more concise & less emotional, although this may feel boring, if I have long paragraphs I will not bother reading them & so there is no self reflection there. Lastly, I had the recent insight that almost all of my thoughts are just repetitive & useless! Day after day! (Like oh I need to make X money or I wish I had done this or when will this happen, I need this I crave this !) > But when does this actually help me? It just takes away my presence. I will not suppress my desires, but instead of repetitive thought loops, I now dedicate 10-20 minutes per evening to the law of attraction with instrumental powerful music, whereby I don't "think about" stuff but I actually visualize it deeply, see myself becoming the man of my dreams, seducing the girls in my dreams, having no debt, feeling alive, being in the snow in some alpine territory, fully present, young wild & free, alive, rich. Sinking deeper into that feeling, Feeling creative, feeling powerful. & To the other psychotic journal I say fuck that shit, life is not a zero sum game & I don't need to compare myself to anyone but myself. I can & will win through cooperation, I will use competition if It's necessary, but fuck man I really can't be bothered for that lolz

@xxxx There are tons of things you can too & if you use all the tools you can learn very fast. 1. Process will be different for everything (depends how much free time you have, where you live, your living environment, social environment). 2. Tools : Google translate Word reference Italki Conversation exchange Youtube Memrize Physical tools > Best 1 = use sticky labels in you home & attach them to objects so that everyday you're reminded of your table as "la mesa" ect.. *Can go in to a lot more dept in how you'd want to use these tools specifically, & your laptop & living environment in general. For example you can make a separate youtube account & structure it to be just designed for languages, subscribed only to the best teachers that's style resonate with you ... I could go into way more dept., considering creating a whole course on how to learn languages efficiently using technology. I can send a screenshot of how I would organize my browser for language learning by favouriting different websites ect.. this is important. 3. I would be careful about learning multiple languages at once. I think this is possible but at least drill in the basics & familiarize yourself with 1 language before you start trying to learn 2. Having said that the mind is very powerful, anything is possible. 4. Is a silly & common question There is no exact end point when you become "fluent", it's a gradual ongoing process. Also do not focus on this, focus on "being able to hold a conversation or enjoy a film ect.." You'll start to "feel" when you're doing good in a language, if you focus on fluency it will demotivate you. I focused on being able to enjoy a conversation, & I defo can do that in spanish & I love it its great, but i'm far from fluent *BEST TIP FOR READING ARTICLES >>> Pick something you find super interesting anyway (for me it's psychology, technology) & then find an article in your target language for that topic To answer no.5 > You have to revise frequently or you will forget it. The good news is you don't need 10 hours a day, even 10-15 minutes per day or at least multiple times a week will help it stick. There's tons of words I "learnt" & then later forgot because I had an all at once then dump it mentality. No, you have to have patience & accept you will forget a majority of what you learn, but as long as you keep exposing yourself through reading, talking ect.. it will all eventually stick for good. But it will take months at least. Any video that says "I learnt Italian in 7 days" is a scammy clickbait video. Yes they learnt it, but they will forget everything just as fast ... unless they keep doing it for months/years. So they didn't even really learn it. Lastly, the general idea of "immersion is so key and why many people forget what they learn & it doesn't stick. You need constant immersion to learn very quickly & this is why moving country is so powerful. However the typical Brit might go move to Spain, but then they only stay with there English friends, refuse to engage & so they are not actually "immersed", they're just now in a different country. It's being in a different country vs "becoming" the country. If I were to move country I would be really motivated to study the language, but the double benefit is I'd improve my social skill because I'd just start convos in the target lanugae with foreigners non stop, every shop, bar ect.. you go.

For real though what I read from that page sounds like terrible advice. Sounds like a misogynist too

ROFFFFFLLLLLLL LMFAOOO

I am trying out Rishi mushroom powder. But it's not very nice, hard to drink even when blended into a smoothie it tastes yukky as fuck. How are you meant to prepare & consume it? Also, does anyone know if Rishi has benefits on cognition & Energy?

@Megan Alecia That's such a vague answer ... Also, I think it's a dumb topic, because most guys are horny anyway, it shouldn't be a deterrent or a lubricant for attraction. It's just a default to the human condition. I can't imagine how a girl would be able to workout that you're horny anyway ... unless you're like commando with a big hard on & she sees it lol... If I had to argue, I'd say it helps, just because I feel more enthusiastic & I have better eye contact.

I fapped 3 times this week & it crushed my energy. Yes ... No fap is not the answer to everything ... it's only 1 variable, but it's an important variable. I'm trying to 30 days without fapping & limit it to once a month max. From my anecdotal experience, fapping (even without porn) fuck you up! Also, I love being horny. It's that libido that you can plough in to your goals. Fapping takes away the drive for anything.

I pussied out again & have this feeling of lingering self hatred. This has gone on for too long. I don't know what to do. Should I try find an accountability partner on this forum? Or is that me just not being independent & getting on with it. I only get chances to appraoch so often due a mix of factors. All the nootropics in the world won't work on your energy after pussying out, it depletes me inside. It's the "Loser effect". Only so much game theory is useful. Ultimately if i'm gonna pussy oout all the game in the world is useless. I need to be a winner. I can't concentrate on my goals now, I hate being a pussy. I can't accept myself right now. My life & actions does not match my standards, it's too painful.

@Rilles That's a good comment. Can't really deny your point there. I'm too obsessed with being at the final destination, & I compare myself to others too much in my head. when paradoxically I need to cut all that shit to be able to focus & put in the work that will get me where I want to go. I'm meant to be studying my online stuff right now that will help me make extra income, & my energy is already so drained from the ruminating thoughts about how I have low social status & I'm a fucking coward. Maybe I need to stop caring about social status. It's partly because I grew up always being verbally abused by family, teachers & fake friends, girls thinking their superior calling me a loser. Was always put down & patronized. I just want to blow up & show people, throw it in their face & laugh at them while those lazy fucks are stuck in mediocrity. My ego is so hungry. People talk about stage green & yellow & I have that side to me, infinite love, MDMA, weed, stroking a dog & shit. But this other side ^ it fills my psyche at least 60% of the time. I need to let it all go I guess. I spend so much time overthinking, god dam it I need to stop it & just FOCUS, for fuck sake. So much futile mental masturbation.

@SamC I've seen your comment. It was helpful & it did make me feel better. Thanks alot.

@Rilles It's a just a name. I didn't exactly spend time analysing it. & Yes I am "striving for more", doesn't mean it's a straight simple path I wish I had more random name with 0 connotation so people didn't go "hey look I thought you were striving for more" lolz

@Rilles lol, irrelevant advice. you get whatever matches your standards. my standards are obviously too low. good thing I think for myseld, or id be accepting shitty advice

@Gesundheit 1. I dont have friends 2. Ive never met a friend whos into self improvement before. Its not easy to find. Its not common. Especially in this time. Cant rely on a wing anyway. Just gotta not be a pussy

Nice, I've barely ever had that in my life tbh. Hopefully I'll change that soon.

@Pudgey Thanks for encouragement man. I stay away from online game, I have zero good pictures, zero social status so it wouldn't work for me right now. Maybe I will consider it if I can get some good pics that aren't selfies, but still I always will want to overcome approach anxiety either way. game is a spiritual pursuit for me. Pre arranged sex through an app sounds so hollow, I want lots of sex, but I want to be the guy that can approach, charm & close the girls in real life, because that's hard & counterintuitive. I also feel like that would lead to better sex.

@Javfly33 I want to be the 1%. I want to be getting the majority of pussy in whatever circumstance. It's a long journey though, I may have to accept it won't happen soon. But I want to get to the point where I have abundance of options no matter what. I will not settle for the results of the herd. I will not lose.

Not true. Got good signals & was in open not crowded space. Somewhat true. BUT came across the girl naturally & there was nothing to lose in the moment. I am not obssessed with approaching right now due to the situation, but when the oppurtunity naturally comes, it's better to take it. Also, because I pussied out, that fucked up my dopamine & now it's harder to "focus on other stuff". It's not like I expected to get laid, but I wanted that proud feeling after overcoming the fear + a bit of connection & practice is always good.

Bad advice. No. Fuck that. I have higher standards, I'm making them even higher.

Ahhh I pussied out today. I am left hating myself. Due to awful weather & restrictions, I only get so many chances. I pussied out. Still an Incel. Being horny doesn't or not doesn't matter as much as just not being a pussy. I really want an accountability partner.

Can't get rid of the loser feeling. It's making me tired. I can't believe I'm still pussying out so often, It's often cold & wet where I live, & everything's closed. A sunny weekend afternoon is rare & im often inside. I missed my chance. I'm meant to have an abundance mindset, but I'm just getting older, & not taking enough action, the chances feel scarce. Feel like such fucking incel.

Went running in the park today getting the little bit of sunshine I could. As I was running made good eye contact with a girl, walking alone. I ran on then stopped in the sun. She kept walking slowly & kinda angled towards me, she was open to approach. ... Then I pussied out. Then she walked past ... could still run & catch her up? PUSSIED OUT, HESISTATED. Walked home alone & miserable, feeling beta. The loser effect psychology kicked in. Walked home hating myself, feeling hasn't gone away. Still just a pussy loser.

Mediocre people make me SICK. I am mediocre in a sense. But true mediocrity is when you don't want to change, you don't care to change. EW DISGUSTING. FUCK YOU. I'M A WINNER. I AM DESIGNED BY GOD, A SOUL OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. I'M HERE TO CONQUER & FUCK.