Striving for more

@Kalki Avatar Think about how much time you're wasting asking random people questions on forums & watching YouTube videos. Because I invested in a course I don't need to do all this, I have 1 clear strategy with a set of info with proven results. The choice is yours but I think you're missing out & wasting your time. You're asking about what indicators work ect.. but if you just had 1 clear strategy it's literally copy & paste. You'd know exactly how to use FIBS & why it's useful. BTW, yes fibs are very useful tool, also very easy to apply.

Quality over Quantity.

@Roy 1. It's not fair to merely label Elliot as a clown & he has done some good stuff, as I mentioned his trauma release video was very enlightening for me on using physical expression to release repressed emotions. 2. It's a worthwhile documentary because it provides lessons on ideology & ego backlash & other stuff. 3. I do get you're point though, we do ultimately need to focus on our own lives & not be youtube junkies

Great video on the evolution of Elliot Hulse. Shows the positive sides & the unique value he's brought, as well as his downfall. I still benefit from some of a couple of his older videos e.g "bioenergetics", especially the one on "beating depression via expression" where he does that crazy release expressive emotional thing (dunno how to describe it lots of screaming ect..) & I still use this today if I'm in a quiet private place . ^ I meant trauma release through physical expression.

He's definitely lost it. It is funny what you said about RSD Tyler @mmKay funny how appeared all open minded back then, probably unleashed deep feelings of insecurity & regret. He's ideologically pro monogamy lol. Also ideologically against abortion, contraception, LGBTQ ... I feel like he needs to get divorced & become a PUA. & Take some mushrooms.

My biggest realization yet? My ego is getting in the way. My ego wants all these things ...but to get all these things, I perhaps must unchain myself from my ego. I approach every day with an ongoing sense of desperation, frustration & neediness. My mind is so racy & needy, body so tense. "You're gonna be old soon, cmon get on with it, cmon, cmon, you're wasting time. Look 2 hours gone by, look wasting your life, still alone, still in the same shitty area you grew up in, cmon, you can't compete, you'll always be a loser. You have no friends, no girls, some money but you're gonna lose that money, it's gonna disperse & you'll be back to square one. Ah, just let me focus, stop the tension, let me focus. But I'm so needy, I need the stuff, I need it all. I have no patience. HOW THE FUCK can I have wasted so many years. All the south africans in slums! they don't have a laptop, wifi connection & cheap food available. How can I sit here & complain about my desk, my dark room, how rediculous, how Can I fucking waste the oppurtunity I have. It's a gift this privilege, to have WIFI connection & free self education & books & enough money for food. I should be fuckin millionaire by now, what the fuck! I'm going to meditate, my head hurts, I don't feel at ease & feel unhealthy right now. Goodbye forum, adios chicos, chicas, hasta leugo, necessito amor de mio amor de mio? je sais pas si et une expressione correcto, no se, no he hecho mucho de idiomas reciemente y necesito recomencarlo pronto, pero estoy tanto occupado siempre tratando con este piece de mierda se llama mi mente, Jordete mi mente, no me gusta el.

I want to create a foreign language learning website I have good ideas. But I'm not going to give them away here in case someone else acts on them I am aware of sites like Italki ect... but I believe there are big gaps & limitations in its structure & scope... Uber didn't invent the wheel. This is not a guaranteed Life purpose. This is all speculation at this point. I just think it would be a cool thing to do. A mega website, that was so good, that it just trumps anything that has come before (Like with this forum/Website for personal development). I am considering deleting this post because I don't want anyone else to do it first, also I like being mysterious tbh.

The government won't help them though. This is why UBI should be implemented globally.

@datamonster All the money in the world doesn't = creativity, passion. I didn't mention 99% of my ideas. So how do you know anyone would be able to copy.

@Ghost Bro that's such a dumb post .. So you dated a hot 19 year old who was a bit dumb >>> Therefore "all hot girls are dumb" ! Stupidest logic. It's up to everyone, I'm going for girls 8-10 in looks, 8-10 in personality... why not go for both? Yeah a 7-8 on looks with the whole package is better than a 10 looks who's a bitch.

I ate a whole tub of ben & jerries' today & a cookie. I generally try to eat healthy but I convinced myself it was a "cheat meal" & deserved & helps me maintain sanity. Maybe this is valid, maybe I'm deluding myself. Maybe cheat meal is true with nice restaurants & pizza but perhaps ben & jerries' is too bad for you to be justified. I'll have to look into this & ask the forum because I didn't really eat it impulsively, I bought it & ate through that reasoning just mentioned.

Have completely fucked up my sleep cycle the last few days. Addictively staring at my phone, trying to always get rich quick scheming, staring at screens to late in the night. I need a more zen evening cool down. But my head is so frantic, so needy. So eager to get ahead, just get some capital & move somewhere, but I keep it fucking it up. Keep derailing the path, keep backsliding another step back into my old self.

Had quit coffee for 3 weeks. Decided to have a coffee at about 2PM ... Terrible idea! 4:30AM & I'm still up, I doubt I'll sleep tonight. I underestimated how long coffee affects me, I can actually sleep way easier after modafinil. NO more coffee again !!

Don't worry, I'm all for putting in the work & embarrassing myself challenges are fun, better than feeling regret in my comfort zone. I don't think you should put numbers or hours on how long it will take to develop game. There is no magic number, just persistence. The journey will be different for me than anyone else, it could take me way longer, or not. There's no way of quantifying that.

I understand that I have a double standard here with the looks thing. But I had bought in to the fantasy that women cared about personality, status, wealth or anything non genetic, even in online game. Surely if I had a lambo pic that would land me in the same place as the supermodel guys on tinder? I really don't care about having a lambo, just asking as a thought experiment.

@Karmadhi Are you talking about in online game or in all of game? If you're talking online then fair enough. But I hope you don't mean in general. Because I personally would rather not go through the effort for a 7. I'm only interested in 8-10's. I get that this is cliche, but I really do not feel any attraction for 7's.

@Karmadhi Being "decent looking" is not enough with online game. You need to be supermodel quality.

This is why I hate online game haha! Men are meant to put in some effort to get the girls, at least rich guys worked for it. But just raw looks ... what a privilege

@Leo Gura So why do girls become less shallow in real life? In that case Why aren't they only accepting the super model guys in real life too because all my conditioning in pick up theory recently was trying to reprogram my mind to feel that I don't have to change my dna into supermodel quality to get the hot chicks & that I could do it via my personality & strategy.

@Leo Gura I'm reading think & grow rich & I think this book is more stage yellow / turquoise It's talks a lot about spiritual concepts, visualization, energy & the power of faith. I'm going to permanently avoid spiral dynamics as I find it is too toxic & lumps unique things & people into categories. I don't like it. Hearing that a great book is "stage blue" just makes me feel guilty about reading it. It is a unique book of its own & it's "stage" should be irrelevant.. It's ultimately a law of attraction book > in my opinion orange/green, yellow & turqoise

I need to fix my sleep cycle which has collapsed recently, waking up as late as 9 & 10 am, going to sleep at 1-2 This is affecting my whole day : once I start my days badly it always tends to end badly. I need a positive morning & need to try & wake up early. If I lived in a great place though (Orange county LA) then I wouldn't give a shit. Every morning would be beautiful & inpsiring. But because of my environment I need to wake up early to avoid my family & have some space, & to get a walk in when it's quiet. I hate walking in my area unless it's really early, because it's not an inspiring location nor does it have good energy. I can only dream of living somewhere like LA, although that would be so expensive even just somewhere hot in Europe or south America. Man I love nature so much, I need it bad. Need to get rich so I can live in a beautiful place. I don't care about a big house. Just want nature.

I really need to get some juicy capital this year. This is my biggest goal because I know EVERYTHING else can stem from that. Being able to do personal work, move location, pick up, starting a business, creative work, Travel, explore myself more & do hobbies. For me, this will need some capital. I need the basic resources & environment to foster my creative aspirations & blossom. & I'll probably need to cover my basic needs more because the lack of them just completely clouds my ability to not merely be creative, but even just being a functional reliable person. Having said that, i'd be surprised if this happens in the near future.

Negative thoughts arising again. Hollow feeling in my stomach. Going to drink a glass of wine, I would meditate today, but I'm not really in the mood. I'll do some form of introspection, perhaps 5 minutes of slow breathing with music. Still feeling alone, haven't got that many people. Keep feeling regret about who I could've become in my recent youth, thing I could've done, the growth I could've had, dating experience I missed. Though loops still running around my head ... I can't turn out like my dad, like my cousin. I can't live a hollow ,lonely , mediocre life of regret. I put every fucking thing on the line. I have to have a crazy life or I will end my life. I am fucking terrified of being normal & average. Even more than that, I'm terrified of not being able to me. Being me is creative, expressive, adventurous. Every day thus far I felt soul crushed, drained & alone.

Try No Fap. At least don't masturbate more than once a week.