Striving for more

I am probably creating a new account. I will keep this one & all the bookmarks ect.. but this account was another fail to me. Why? Because what I really wanted, with my Journal & any of my comments...I wanted low quantity, high quality, clarity, structure, accountability, inspiration & to feel connected I didn't want pointless comments, pointless journals, asking same questions again, saying the same shit again. Going on typing rages as if that would help anything, it doesnt, I'm a logical male I need results & action not talking shit. I fucked up too many times And I left a lot out with my journals too. I didn't exagerate but I skipped revealing so much about myself due to being self conscious & paranoid. But I also revealed or commented a lot on things that aren't important or useful. I am creating a new account I think as a sign of a fresh start, with fresh journals. ***NONONO. NOT "Fresh Journals" > Just one journal. Only one. w This time, everything I post will have a purpose. I will be decisive about the structure & regularity of my posts before starting, & this will enable me to maintain discipline, I will also be more honest and humble about my weaknesses & mediocrity, less egotistical & most importantly just more structured. The word structured is scary to me, even when I aim for structure typically not much structure exists, but I believe I can turn it into a strength, and fuck you if disagree (Lol Joke). ^ Ah look at that, another unecessary sentence. I also want a fresh start to implement a new habit of being as concize as possible, it's not my strength but I see the value of it, saying more with less. I think you should always be concise, there's literally no downside > less processing work for the reader, easier to read back & compare, faster communication. I'm also a perfectionist & I actually value my contribution & being a source of inspiration or utility in all areas of life for its own sake, as well as my own personal needs, and all my shitty ass journals on here just clog up space & waste a readers time. No, If I have something to say it's dam fucking useful. Everything I say & do now is damm fucking useful, damm fucking strategic. Everything I do from this point has a dammm fucking purpose. I think I am about to take a month of from this forum. Come back with a new account start of the year. Then I will start my journal, In 100 years time people will look back, the thoughts of a cross breed of davinci & casonova.

@LordFall I really like how you think. Cool bro Especially the part about entrepreneurship, highly resonate with that & I figured that out a year ago, partly inspired by some of James Marshalls opinions on lifestyle design. I'm very far away from actualizing that but It's in my horizon. & the bit about females being interesting too. Highly resonate.

I deleted most of my post cos I praised it too much, tbh, fuck weed It messed up my life a lot & I came back to it this summer through social influence & I lost a ton of money & women & oppurtunities because of it. I will still smoke sometimes on a 1 off, but no more than once a month, never regularly again. My brain works bad enough when I live healthily so I can't afford to smoke weed. Still, weed should be legal everywhere & for many people it helps them a lot, it sure has it's benefits & it's place I still account some beautiful experiences to weed. but you gotta be very honest about if it harms you & not delude yourself

I got my amalgam removed with a SMART Dentist & I skipped all the important sections. I didn't look at the X Rays & I didn't do any of these extra steps. I think she just replaced it. What should I do now, should I start the whole process again? This was almost a year ago. I haven't done any chelation yet.

@PurpleTree I'll check through my bookmarks I think someone sent me a link for DMSA.

Excellent video !! I used to turn up late for work because "I must get my daily routine in". I had this OCD Neurotic attitude to my daily routine that "I must Exercize visualize & meditate & do affirmations otherwise my day won't go well" That becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, if u need over complicated X.Y.Z to achieve normal things then you created a crutch for yourself. I find this constantly happening to me with food too. recently started eating flax seed & cacoa powder. I normally have flax seed in the morning but today I had ran out, the instant voice in my head "u need that bro, the DHEA bro, 20 point IQ increase man, u'll need that to focus, it's the magical ingredient" But really? I shouldn't need that, I realized the ultimate goal is to be able to focus & work whether I'm hungover, disappointed, , without caffiene without supplements, you just fucking do it. How else can u be dependable, u wouldn't have these fancy crutches in a zombie appocalypse, u wouldnt have optimzied sleep, but youd step up & do the dirty work anyway, shoot those fuckers (although we all know, some good shinyy cocaina would be excellent here). In fact, ima go without flax seed a week or 2 keep to my simple eggs oatmeal diet for now. I might try going without green tea for a bit, that's becoming a crutch & it's getting repetitive. Similarly, I try not always go gym, sometimes Intentionally take a week off, or train with body weight. Theres prob countless better more meaningful examples tho im tired

I'm stuck, I am stuck in an "emotional freeze" due to disappointment & letting myself down. How the fuck do u feel good instantly, when u know u messed up a meaningful part of ur life again, leading to a desolate void & numbness. Also terrified of aging so terrified its like fuck missed my chance just die lol not literraly but feel that way right now. I am not "week", i'm not givign in to cravings "weak" isn't the wrong feeling, I am actually just frozen, no videos is working for me, not NLP, I'm too frozen to listen to it. i already worked out, did nothing. I'm not a couch potato, I just don't deal with disappointment to well, I dont recover easily. I am either very motivated or frozen, right now i am frozen. Last time this happened to me, I got stuck for a week, all over a far smaller thing even than this, so this process is scary. I am going to try solve this with action, but I did some actions eariler but the frozen emotion didnt' disappear. But i will try go act productive now & read any comments soon, ill see if it finally just autocorrects with action, I hope so but maybe theres more to it

This is good advice thank you. The problem I have is, when I let go of the thoughts, this psychosomatic feeling persists, this intense horrible feeling like a soup of a mix of negative emotions including regret emptyness & in my chest forehead & the thoughts perpetually reappear. And even worse, when the intensity disappears, this form of apathy later comes, like masquerading as peace, but really it's just apathy due the initial disappointment/pain. This apathy results in me watching joe rogan or random thoughts or doing some other pointless shit, but it's not me consciously wanting to slack off, I assume it's my brain reacting with an automatic defense "no we can't have this time to shut down & distract" but that's not what I need either, that's fake. So I actually know what my action plan should be right now, but it's the low morale I can't get rid off & I need to, because I still have some bold risky plans that will take will & a clear head & faith ... & logic & planning & foresight, none of my strengths even in a good state lol. But you are right, rest right now & just letting go of my entire sense of self is the smartest thing to do right now, or I'll overcompensate & it will make tomorrow worse. I guess I will watch some JRE

I can accept who I am (how I look How I think ect..) But I cannot (Yet) accept the things I didn't do, should've done, the things I've missed. I just cant let it go some reason. I am attached to a great life from the start, I am attached to youth, because I missed out on most of it, & I chose to do that. It just hurts. I am attached to the imaginary movie story that I failed to allow myself to have, I can still have it I guess, but I dont stop aging, Im terrified of aging. I guess everyone is.

Thanks for the response wtf lool. All the valuable genuis comments I've provided, this is what I get

Still stuck. Frozen. State now in complete frozen numbness. Very disempowering. Not sure now, lost I'm just frozen right now

Felt some intense pain because I had anticipated X, for Y years, & I fucked it up, now I can't experience X. Been shutdown & low morale all day & I couldn't work today or anything else. I'm still shutdown & struglling for solutions. I tried thinking my way out, feeling my way out & doing but the I just ended up doing meaningless tasks like drying my clothes. I just wanted X so much, I just forgot to plan, I didn't do pre mortem. Now it's too late. I know I can't keep ruminating. But I don't know what to do. I can't repress my feelings I can't just be all depressed because that doesn't ge me anywhere and will become a trap I can't numb myself or avoid it because that doesn't help I can't think or overthink because thinking is painful right now, I don't want to think about how I fucked up I can't act right now because the psychological shut down got sucked into me like I vacuumed it up, it's in my forehead ect... I've tried working out I ate healthy I listened to about 4 of leos videos on emotional mastery & nothing helped, I tried the feeling in to the pain tehcnique & it didn't help, didn't get rid of it What do I do? How do I get the winner effect when I've lost?

Ok I'm going to try & act again now. Try and do the opposite of what I should do, just so hard to focus & be patient right now. I'm considering all nighter, lets radically change my environment, lets start now & take some risk, lets build power via social connections, Lets become the fucking boss I was born to be. The truth is i'm sad & alone, Need to change this, all my fault, I don't deserve this im stuck no im not time sup block th efou block forum block Weed? I wish makes me cra zy now adays The intuition side is good tho, how do I get that weed intuition sober

NLP didn't work. I don't know how to solve this. I don't know what to do. My morale just got crushed, it's irrational but subjective, I had time to have X, Now I'll never have gotten that. I just want to drink, I want to want not to, but I don't have a solution, & I can't afford a life coach. I won't write long posts, I try to maintain faith that I won't waste more of today, I don't know how I can do it, i'm so crushed, temporarily yes, but this might take me a week, NLP is so over fucking complicated, tried watching a video but im not a computer like wtf I like simple stuff fuck aff bro. What do I do? I know what do to, but I need energy, where do I get energy?, I try & love myself but I do love myself otherwise I wouldn't be pissed about not getting/ X which wouldve been good for me But if I truly was respecting myself, I'd act. I wouldn't quit, I wouldn't take longer. I think im going round in circles, fuk

THE SOLUTION = NFP ? I'm going to try NFP music & affirmations to quickly boost my morale & bring forth a proactive state of resourcefulness. I will respond later if this works

I think I will delete my entire acocunt. THis journal has not served me one bit. Wat a catastre. Wasted so much time on here.

@Adodd Nah I'm good my own intuition is way smarter. I trust my own answers. Authentic happiness is relative because we're all different & have different needs & prefer different lifestyles, Money DOES have a HUGE lasting effect on happiness if used intelligently, & how much money you need or fullfills your "basic needs" is relative & varies massively per individual. My understanding of basic needs includes far more than base survival, it includes other higher needs that are 100% facilitated & shortcircuited via money. BUT it's not actually the money causing the happiness, the money is fuel used to create other stuff in your life (not just material) that improves happiness. Thinking u know everything & having the urge to express your views like gospel with that ironically inauthentic language that you both clearly paraphrased from another but also use to sound profound and smart, IS A REAL BITCH SOMETIMES. Dont respond or @ me because like I said I know my own answers. I know what makes me happy. Dont u dare try tell me u do no u don't mr profound. By the way, direct experience is king. So i aint gonna read your stupid book I'll go & get what I want & we'll see if I'm happy, I bet u a million I end up happy, i might be so happy I don't even bother going on this forum anymore.

Going through an emotional shutdown, because I have created disappointed. I anticipated a great experience I had waited for years, but I didn't fucking plan it out in time and now, I'm not able to partake in it due to a lack of planning. It is 100% my fault, and that is why I am so disappointed. I was so emotionally attached to this experience & I only needed to do some simple steps, ahead of time to avoid missing out. I need to deal with this shit soon, I dont want to "Make it at 30" I want a fulfilling exiting life now!, this fucking month, next month this year right now, it's already kinda too late. TIme to plan every day from here, time to catapault to my goals & life. No waiting around & fuck patience, theres no fun missing years of your life, it hurts, im fighting against time here. Extreme success starts now in every area, simultaneously, especially money, social life & exitement. Nothing more importing than exitement & thrills, fuck a boring life, nothings more important to me than that, nothing makes me happier. But that requires planning, requires logistics, requires money, requires skills, requires timing, requires discipline. All the fun stuff requires repeated boring boring work that 99% of peooke arent willing to do, like strategic planning, done day after day, but the payoff is very exciting life, it's counterintuitive In fact, maybe its not even that boring, I tried the pre mortem technique & I thougth wow This is fun! this is so fun. This has been my biggest weakness, and unfortunately only through incessant failure, disappointment and pain have I finally learnt my lesson (Well I better make sure I do this time). I need to fucking plan to the end. I need to plan my life out & take this dead seriously, nothing in the world is more important, not mediation nothing. Mastering this weakness trumps everything else in importance, and I overlooked it completely. I know I have more life to go, but I am getting older now, oppurtunities, experiences only come a long so often, I can't stomach missing anything else. I underestimated Leo, many of his older videos are just brilliant, But again 1 by 1, have to apply them 1 by 1. My only currently relevant videos, Applying these for at least the next month. The pre mortem technique The Power of Asking Questions Strong disappointment & emotional attachment causing me to want to drink, want some drink & want to slack off this evening & go to the pub & drown my sorrow, No. I can't Must use pain as a motivator, reminder that you gotta push goals urself, it can happen as fast as u want it to. You can get rich in 6 months, u can get a hot girl in a month, but it only happens as fast as you push it, it wont happen if you pussy out. "Play by your own rules or someone else will make them for you. The game is enjoyable if you’re able to play it on your own terms, even if delt a bad hand. I have to plan if I'm gonna play the game by my own rules, fuck society's rules & fuck society up, rape society & come up on top, with no trouble. & Live the Leftist libertarian dream that I need,

Oouuuch. Yep. Soo much abundance in big cities. Your intuition is calling a move. I'm not sure why you havent yet, surely it doesnt require much money to just move?, although I've never been to the states. I wish I could go there. (sorry if you don't want comments just lmk)

I hope this works for YouTube/internet search addiction & procrastination. Can this be effectively done all alone, with journalling or something?

@Max8 Belated comment but tbh I reflected on this & to an extent I mostly agree with you on your points. I disagree with you that it's overall merely a scam & I sense many limiting beliefs about how it's so hard to make money or move country, although if you are from a 3rd world country I completely understand, but then again I've met guys from favelas in brazil who are now millionaires with a nice wife, so anything is possible. I've lost a lot of time with self help mental masturbation & find the values of most people on this forum absolutely bizarre. Like saying that money or relationships won't make your life much better. Wtf? Can't believe someone here said money is irrelevant to PD, like wtf again. It's extremely relevant, the most important foundation. It's hard to be unhappy if you have both of those things mastered, IMO impossible. People on here that are saying they got results from PD yet there still broke & single are just deluded. Here's my opinion : get these things in abundance, fuck everything else Money Relationships, hot GF, Quality friendships Social skills, confidence, charisma Travel, excitement, Novelty, Trying new things, life experience, meet different people Emotional Mastery * Life skills (Technical skills, computer skills, organizational skills, strategic thinking, time management) ^^ Get Life coach, relates to all of these All of these things are IMO all you need, Leos videos on these are great but learn from others too. 90 - 95% Action. Everything else is garbage. Money & relationships will have the biggest impact. Anyone who denies this is either deluded, crazy, or extremely introverted.

I broke my no fap streak, I wish I was on no fap right now so bad, I hate feeling this way. I want the energy back.

@ZenRising Thanks man, I honestly just want to cure my internet addiciton for now. **well tbf my internet use is way better than before, I'm so relieved it;s not like before, but it comes back to bite me sometimes, I think it's gradually fading away. Drinking and smoking is bad, but if at least I do that but I also focus in the day & make money & have a social life, it's not unbearable. Internet addiction imo is WORSE, honestly, I don't care if you got a 6 pack & look great, internet addiction is so fucked, you litterally can't be in the present, can't go on a date or hang out with your mum without checking the phone, cant sit still to watch a movie, it depletes your productivity so so much too. Ew, internet addiction never again.

Had a sip of a san miguel today, hadn't drunk so much lately. But I had a sip, & alll there u go, there u go I could just BLOOOW SOME SMOKE & SIP A COUPLE OF THESE, THERE U GOO. Maybe that's why I'm so fucking on edge still. I got distance so I'm obviously not a full blown Charlie sheen Bill hicks, but Im still attached, there's probably some withdrawlal too. & What about the other addictions? Internet ones, they're still a problem, especially that I I'm working online, my online is tied to my survival, blocking the apps I only find another app. But there's definitely some growth since the path, I see myself just letting go, just sometimes, not always, but sometimes is more than never, & used it to be never. Many addictions remain, but wait a minute, fuk. "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transfered". Time to become addicted to success, status, hot sex. I WANT TO BE ADDICTED TO THIS SHIT. I think about it a lot, but I must be addicted to the actions that fucking lead to it you piece of shit. Ok, no self acceptance, leo self acceptance vid. SELF FUCKING LOVE. I AM ON THE PATH. I AM ON THE PATH. I must sleep good tonight. cant lose my shit again. ARH I want some rough sex, with a girl who can't pronounce my name, I want a columbian bubble but, bubble bubble buhbuh.