Natasha Tori Maru

I do not renumerate or think much on the past. So having relics of past relationships do not bother me. I have always remained in touch with my exes - even the painful breakups. I typically require 2/3 months of spaciousness to find my stride again and re-learn striking out alone. For that time I may have less contact. After that, though, I remain friends and catchup 2 or so times a year with them all. Everyone deals with this differently in my experience.

... its gotten worse. The censorship is fucked. You guys here crying about bUt My MaSCulInE VoICe, ThIS FoRuM iSn't AbOut TruTH, CAn't spEaK my tRuTh, toO muCh TrUth foR tHiS pLAcE!!! Exhibit A:

This is why I don't mind some subreddits - especially construction ones relating to methodology or estimating practices. Great for keeping up with current estimating tools (AI + programs) and ingenious methods of construction. Anything compliance related often doesn't transfer, but the rest can be very good. In those subreddits it is very clear who is talking out of their arse. There is a clearer split between idiots who think they can DIY or are full of false knowing - and those who work in the industry. I could be biased here because I know when someone is talking shit due to experience. But the general downvotes and comments quickly check you. My main issue is the group think and censorship due to the POTENTIAL to receive offense in other sections of the site. Even fair criticism or feedback. Honesty and earnestness are only valued as much as they can be sources of good feelings. Also the AI slop. Really bad.

I give up on reddit. I just got banned in one of the construction related subs. Apparently pointing out potential flaws in someone's reasoning while granting they may be correct - but there is a giant leap present in the logic - is WRONG. I'll just quietly return to 4chan

Do we have one? Rolling. Post that shit. Shorts, reels, tick-tock turds. Do your worst short format. Boomer cringe. I love the spittle on the guys mouth 🤮🤢 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS45V1Enf/

I think it was a foregone conclusion based on the premise and topic being undefined. Either the topic needed to be concrete or a moderator was always going to be needed to check and resteer.

I am imagining self abuse. "peer reviewed" - by the comments section

This is a really good distinction.

Seconded!

@Lyubov Thanks for reporting back I've experienced similar effects where the dopamine cycle cross pollinates other activities. The more time I spend focused on a single assignment that isn't triggering a charged emotional reaction, the higher my quality of awareness is transplanted onto other tasks.

I'm 2/3 of the way through Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Highly recommend. It has triggered some huge insights for me. The book is not what it seems. Reading this one as there are some small tasks you probably wouldn't be able to properly engage with if this were consumed as an audiobook. Possible, but much easier to circle and note.

I had to stop listening - will check it later if it is available for rewatch!

It better be good, or I'll be injecting abuse and more (avoidable) bias into my moderation! 😈

You guys need a live moderator to keep you on track!

Will do - FUCK. STOP THIS. You LURE ME

It may have been the subreddit I was on. I haven't been back to test it out - I was honestly so revolted over being censored for (what I felt was) benign, honest feedback!

I enjoyed the second half a lot too. It was a great connection. The power of the mind. That's all you need to know. I often feel the need to self check on these topics. Glad got enjoyed it

Oh gosh we bringing the s-word into it. Chuck all the concept in the shredder, make sure it's oiled and ready to go full throttle

Nonviolent Communication is next on my book list. The title always made me pass on it due to my own misinterpretation. Someone I highly respect recommended it. Regarding the OP. Unfortunately I need to read a book to take it in fully. When listening to audiobooks, I tend to be "optimising" my time and dual-tasking. This degrades the quality of my attention. I thought women were supposed to be able to multi-task. Fucking lies! 😅 I can barely chew gum and walk at the same time ! With audiobooks, I need to listen over multiple times to feel I have absorbed all the points. Books I tend to retain after one reading. One reading, sitting breaks + notes for heavy hitters like Ralston. I feel this could be very individual though; I've always been an avid reader of long novels. Nonficton. Fiction. Biographies. Since I was 8 or 9 years old. I never stopped.

Thanks for sharing. I read some measure of restlessness and avoidance of emotion here. But I could be wrong. Very difficult to be in touch with purpose in such cases. I've been there. What makes you most excited? When you do feel energized and eagerly anticipate something in life that does not have any association with women? What are those moments like?

Do you feel able to name and genuinely feel a wide range of emotions? Is it easy to accurately identify emotions in your experience - or are you often trying to understand a state with the mind?

God DAMN. I somehow missed catching The Devil's Advocate. Recommend.

🎯 There's nothing being contributed. It is essentially shitposting.

@Lyubov I enjoy your emphasis on responsibility. And I think it is an excellent point that rationalisation and simply explaining mechanisms behind why & how we might feel anger is not enough. It is very easy to slide into justification from rationalisation in this way. We explain the mechanism, and can fall into explaining away responsibility. When we add responsibility back into the mix, we gain clarity around the boundaries of where we create our emotional experience, and consequentially are better able to embody agency. That agency is required to change our relationship to how we respond to feelings. Affecting that relationship is key to reducing reactivity and being able to sit comfortably with intense experiences of emotion. Cheers for the insight

Nothing wrong with anger. Lots wrong with suppression! I find most people who suffer from depression (the non-clinical chemical type) often have deeply repressed anger. Anger is a healthy forward moving energy. Expression through healthy processing is very good for the body. Unprocessed anger looks like someone acting out the emotion with no ability to stop it; they are overtaken by it and have an irresistible compulsion to act. Healthy, processed anger is recognised and felt fully, but we aren't overcome so much that we need to act on it. Although, expression can help! Having our emotions AT others is not self regulated. Emotional repression has consequences. Glad you are doing better 🙏🏻