Natasha Tori Maru

I do not have a high pitched girl voice, much to my displeasure. It does not have that sing/song ring to it. Much lower pitched. I used to speak with a lot of vocal fry but trained that out of myself when I had to chair meetings at work with large audiences. Listening to recordings of myself was like a pin to the eyeballs! But the Aussie accent? Unmistakable >.<

Echoing @thierry's thoughts - this could be physiological over psychological. My sister had panic attacks of a similar intensity to you, for years. We were both in a severely traumatic environment for many years, but she walked way with significantly more trauma she still has not resolved. Her panic attacks were intermittent. But had a pattern of psychological causes that would trigger them. Since yours may not be I am thinking environmental + physiological reaction? You have my compassion <3

I understand that part - that is on the individual. But moderators, ideally, moderate according to: https://www.actualized.org/forum/guidelines/ So it is not each moderators PERSONAL beliefs (at least, this is not the overarching arbiter, moderators still need to use their own judgment) it is the ideals and beliefs as stipulated in the guidelines. Not all beliefs are bad, especially when they pertain to social systems. They can effectively minimise harm and increase harmony. I don't mean to split hairs here, just do not want to lead anyone to think moderators should be performing like cowboys banning or issuing points, censoring or timeouts because someone has a different opinion or belief. Imagine if I banned you because I disagree with your statements? ROFL

IM DEAD my sides rofl

This is very black/white and absolutist. Just because getting a perfect outcome is impossible, doesn't mean we should give up. No need to cling to perfectionism. Half-way measures can suffice.

It isn't actually possible to 'delete' or erase the ego. I think it is foolish to think one can do this. All that happens is the we cling or identify to something new to replace the old that we think we erased. Spirituality becomes the new ground. Nonduality becomes the new ground to replace XXX. God-consciousness replaces nonduality etc etc ad infinitum. The 'ego-less' individuals I have met have been unconscious to the biggest and more detrimental egos I have ever encountered.

I work in 25 minute blocks, with 5 minutes fuck-around time. That 5 minutes is always getting up and moving in some way. Lunchbreak is a 30minute-1hr walk. 1hr sprint / intervals on the bike before work OR 1 hr run. 30 minutes resistance training after work. 3 out of 5 days a week are at the desk, the other 2 onsite so I am moving around daily then. If I do not get up and move every 30 minutes or so my mind begins to sleep (or my focus/sharpness can fade). They key is to never sit still for more than 1hr max. Seems to work for me

Traps for online content creators This is a serious amount of self reflection coming from experience. And it can apply to much more than just online content creation. From equating human romance to the value obtained from a toilet, to analysing the self so much we need a staple gun to the forehead. Only @ Actualized.org 😁😁😁

@integral A true maverick trailblazer, this boy. No words - just love

I've personally wanted that from the start. I think Leo had some reasons around wanting moderator badges though. How users respond to me in general totally changed with the moderator badge. Which is sad, but understandable. I prefer to fly under the radar.

@Elliott Stop responding to everything a moderator says as if their response is an attempt to moderate you or the discussion. We are users as well. A moderators opinion is just that - an opinion or addition to a discussion. It is not a corrective measure. Corrective measures are explicit for a reason. Would love to speak to you in real life.

Yeah and I am contributing to the discussion - highlighting that there are issues you cannot foresee until you are in the role. Do you want to give it a try?

There are many assumptions being made about moderating going on here. Just be aware until you have moderated a forum, especially one such as this, you won't really understand what you are proposing. This is all just theory, ideas and concepts. Reality is far, far different.

Slippery slide mode or there some traction on the paws? My girl is terrified of aluminium - the sound gets her

Heh heh heh The simple value exchange of a toilet. Deposit my goods, takes it away. There when I need it, where I left it. Performs a function in my life. When it's needy though. Oh boy. We need external assistance to service the bastard, just to deal with its (cough) shit!

I hear that - 100% with you Been a very similar process to my own. I am not sure if I could ever claim to have transcended shit. It would just be self deception if I spoke of overcoming all the cumulative conditioning I have gathered through life experience.

I think you aren't necessarily disagreeing if I understand the above. 'Awareness is the first step' as they say. Key word there being FIRST. And the movement would be toward healing. We can be fully aware of our issues and still be dealing with the brains maladaptive mechanisms operating like a reflex. Or a program. The brain is weird with trauma and experience in general. If only it worked in probabilities - instead it works in extremes in isolation. If we have one bad experience we tend to totally hone in on that ONE experience and extrapolate/find meaning there. And our behaviour and thinking is formed from the extreme experience. Instead of looking at all the different versions and outcomes (probabilites) of the experience that were more benign in nature. This seems to me to be a survival mechanism; pay attention to the lion chasing you after you and remember it always, and not the pebble in your shoe that finds its way in on the gravel road you walk down each morning.

I am intrigued over how we all conceptualise love and marriage. I view it as a dissolution of the barriers between two people. Bringing raw authenticity and truth to the surface of each partner and how they view each other - and accepting. And not in a way that degrades boundaries; more about seeing the truth of the person as separate, and experiencing what is created between them - love & unity. Romantic drive appears like a poor man's human way of attempting to reach the the sublime threshold of God's love through another, in union.

Nope - that's not guaranteed. Where you hold and put on fat is genetic. 100% focus on more important things. It's not so black and white 'I must do this OR that'. Do this AND that. Be a metrosexual, its fine. Hardmaxxing is not. But do not become attached to appearance and looks. Build a solid foundation of what you want to DO in life and how you can provide value (if you want to participate in the benefits of society ie medical aid, roads, electricity, delivery, gas, water, then you have to give back in some way). You're going to end up old and saggy - and that's fine. Looks fade. There is nothing wrong with aging or not being super good looking. Build something you can base your life on, not something that is going to disintegrate.

Its all G I learned a while ago when in brainstorming or design meetings at work that shooting someone's idea down isn't good. It can polarise them against you, or just demoralize em'. It is much better to try to find a way to make it work with adjustments or proposals and build from there. The best ideas always form this way. Of course there are times when a total slap-down happens - usually when there is some rudeness or impolite shit necessitating boundaries being drawn in how the idea is expressed - but that is different entirely. Or when the idea is really not grounded in reality and totally unfeasible. Occasionally it is also difficult to address an idea that is so so wrong it isn't worth the time going into just how many which ways it is crazy! I haven't ever seen any sort of problematic stuff from you anyway, fwiw. Just the AI use, but that is totally different to this discussion.

I don't mean to be rude - but this could be a 'you' thing also. Rules are there for a reason - but they can always be bent and broken. The whole gig of moderating is flirting with this grey area (for me anyway). You could ask @Leo Gura for his opinion. Ultimately as much as we would love for this to be a democracy - Leo gets to call all shots. And he can break or make any rule he sees fit. We just arbiter them with best judgement. You could always ask Leo what he looks for. Dunno! I mentioned emptying as a possible way to incorporate @Monster Energy's idea. I did not 'keep talking about' emptying. And this does not mean I missed the point. You have no idea what I understood as to what you are talking about. Non-acknowledgment doesn't mean what you think it means. But you are wrong in your assessments of what I quoted. Take care.

Unfortunately trauma and its longstanding effects are often not conscious. Even when thoughts regarding traumatic events are not in the conscious mind, or when we do not think on the past, this does not mean they are not influencing us in the moment. We cannot truly assess ourselves for trauma. People build maladaptive thinking / coping / action mechanisms rooted in trauma that remain within the psyche long after memory of the events have faded. This is why we often need external friction from reality (ie a person, loved one, therapist etc) to show us the 'lumps in our gravy' that need to be worked on. It is also why chatGPT is a shit therapist because we often require being challenged by an outside source to reveal these mechanisms. And LLM's can be sycophantic bastards

@Monster Energy I am curious - do you think if we stopped moderating the drama would detract from the discourse here? I would just genuinely be concerned that users would build grudges and flood the forum with back and forth. Burying the good stuff.

@Elliott Your theory on how this site would function with zero moderation, and your projection of your own bad boundaries around acceptable behaviour, are combining to perpetuate a delusion. Overall, as a person and not just a moderator, I worry about you. You can perceive this as an attack, but I assure you it isn't. You don't even have to care.