Natasha Tori Maru

@LordFall I had to remove a lot of unconscious put downs, condescension, trolling and turd rhetoric I picked up from hardcore WoW raiding and Arena. It might not be the case with you. I could be projecting my own shit. I operated from the mode that that sort of rhetoric was good for me, hardened me and made me still pay attention to objective facts despite the sledging (thick skin). So I figured others would respond how I did. I was so wrong 🤣 just because I could tolerate being told to fuck off, or get in the kitchen - didn't mean others would respond how I did 🥹 Hard wakeup call that I can't just facts and logic my way through. I had to learn to relate to the person first, ask them about their experience and meaning, values - so they felt seen. People became remarkably pliable and open to my points as soon as they felt understood. Learned that from an ENTJ in business who was a fucking juggernaut at convincing others. I use that relating tool with all my contractors so we keep a tight knight group of trusted subbies we take from project to project to maintain quality/consistent outcomes in construction.

It's a rhetorical question. But I would never do this. I wouldnt want to contribute to waste in this way. I don't even own a car and ride my bike on the grounds of waste and pollutants 😀

Got it. But that's got nothing to do what what I raised. Can you see that you are making character judgements of users when they don't agree with you? There are many possibilities as to why they may not agree. It could simply be communication styles and not the substance of the arguement. Communication style can have little to do with intelligence or competence. The tendancy is to think "this person has somehing wrong, I can see it, so I'll tell them" - but that is fraught with inference. We aren't mind readers (regardless of how much I might fancy myself one!). It doesn't help your case to immediately jump to some defect in the other person when they don't grasp, understand or agree with your point. Explanation is not understanding. I note you mentioned coming from competitive gaming. I do as well. That environment is toxic and trolly as fuck. It took me a good few years to rid myself of how bad my own rhetoric was as a result of 10 years in that world. Some of that poor rhetoric, condescension, put downs and defence might originate from there.

Authenticity. I find it ill-defined. The word is tossed about flippantly. EVERYWHERE. It is spoken about on these forums frequently. What is Authenticity (in the romantic sense, and interpersonally)? Do you think it is overrated/underrated? Only appropriate at certain times or phases of connection? I find it paradoxical. Authenticity requires enough self-awareness to distinguish your genuine values from the forces acting on you (incentive structures). I think it is about congruence. Congruence between what is actually going on inside you, how you live, make choices and relate to the world. So for me it's being able to accurately know what I experience, owning it completely and acting in accordance with it as the situation deeps appropriate. I feel like it needs these clauses because it gets muddled up with just "expressing" without censure. Authenticity IS NOT just expressing the contents of your mind. "I say what I feel", "I refuse to change for anyone", "I do what feels natural", "I am brutally honest" or "I don't care what anyone thinks, this is who I am" - all of these are not it in my definition. Philosophy wise I don't think to be authentic we require a true fixed self. Values change. We change. What is authentic will change. Existentially I see it creeping toward "am I taking ownership of the fact I am choosing?" My closest definition: Authenticity is the constant, background practice of shrinking the space between what I experience and what I understand myself to currently value. What I claim to be, and how I actually behave... while remaining willing to amend my understanding of me. Would love everyone's thoughts around this loaded topic as it applies to dating, courtship, romance, relationships, attraction etc.

I agree. It is a difficult issue - some of the younger gen learn attraction mechanisms based on a toxic online environment. These "skills" then do not directly translate to face-to-face attraction. They actually tend to retard development.

So, when you have a worldview or frame that acts to discount any falsifiability - the model is self sealing. Exchanges will then repeatedly function to discount the phenomenological information supplied by anyone - the frame is being used to reduce other people to NPC's. If you don't agree - you are "lower", "not conscious enough", "projecting", "need to do shadow work", "not sufficiently intellectually developed". Any objections to the framework are explained away. The model acquires a built-in defence against falsification. This is how you get stuck in paradigms. It also has the rather nasty side effect of reducing the person down to some mechanism and can potentially induce a dehumanizing feeling in others (they are just NPC's the model explains, not real people with individual meaning, experience, values that genuinely differ). What is worse - is when the model (or frame) is then used to pathologise some part of your view in a further attempt to reduce, discount and discard any genuine points being raised against it. "Your argument is mistaken because your psychology is defective."

We should be treating medical circumstances as unknown unless more detailed information is provided - putting forth solutions based on inference rather than asking what is referred to isn't charitable.

I would laugh if the word slop wasn't used. Geriatric would send me 🤣

Very difficult issue though - adapt to a horrid courtship environment and potentially learn maladaptive relational strategies that can translate to poor relationship skills. Previously when apps weren't a thing, there was more opportunity to learn many of these relational skills though socialisation. And real, face to face feedback from others would give you something to reflect against that would encourage the fostering and growth of good, healthy social dynamics. You didn't tend bring along maladaptive habits from a digital environment - because it wasn't as big of a thing. Think gen z stare

How can I connect?

This is about where I sit on this topic. Well said. Dating apps and social media in particular can fuck off. It tend to view it as green flag when someone isn't on them.

Listened while I made dinner - cheers for the share. Get around all the points you raised and overall review ❤️

Same for me, really. I find it confusing. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE Also worth it to note - we are doing two very different things when we say "I don't prefer stories in videogames" to ripping on a videogame by claiming it is childish.

Do you repeat outfits? Exact same several days in a row? Find one or two that work and repeat? Or do you have a style that has essential basics but you rotate accessories? Or do you find something that works and purchase multiple of that item in differing colours? TELL ME! I am a chronic outfit repeater; I find a couple of items that work as a basic template and alternate one or two small elements. I am completely unbothered repeating an outfit 3 days in a row, exactly the same (provided it is clean). I don't want to think too much. Just slap something on I know works and go. I dislike shopping for clothes. I wear a lot of black. Special occasions I deviate. But day to day I don't give a shit if it's the same all week INTJ if that factors in

I just dismissed his take there - it was said from ignorance. If Leo doesn't like story in videogames that's cool.

The survival brain! Ambiguity is not appreciated from the lymbric brains perspective. Yes. Huge topic.

@Joshe And for this enquiry - I wasn't able to tame the Ni drive for closure. I wanted an ANSWER god dammit. I feel I'm not done with castigating Authenticity thoroughly, though. But it is a good exercise in driving into the feeling of "wonder" (which is a not-knowing). I find anything that can trigger genuine wonder in me is fuel for good Ni times. Which is why I have a hard on for "not-knowing" but not as a form of knowledge erasure or preliminary space, but genuine wonder. Curiosity and awe. That real "what the fuck?" feeling of encountering something that is clearly bigger than my current knowledge, where I can't immediately compress it into an explanation. That combination of curiosity + awe + epistemic insufficiency is delicious. I think I like wonder as a doorway because it doesn't require an absence of an answer - just a recognition that what I currently have on file is inadequate. Not knowing can be confused with just "empty".

I guess the point of the discussion for me is the dislike of how imprecise and underdetermined the term is, and how it acts to convolute points. People talk of AuThENtiCiTy BrO - and I always want to ask - what the actual fuck do you mean? I feel like without explicitly stating the relation & what we are acting in authenticity TO, it means nothing. If it means nothing and everyone throws it around - it's just a buzzword. Word salad. I kind of want to kill the word now

Did you have some trusted preliminary evidence of efficacy and safety of the drug prior to announcing the retreat? I ask because testing prior to announcement seems the ideal sequence. But if you were operating from a good, trusted source, only to test it yourself and find different results - that would explain the cancellation following testing. You may have had a unique set of variables that revealed the failure of the drug to perform.

This is such a total false dichotomy! I am both! If story isn't your thing, then these legacy games (OOT, Majora) will hit like a wet noodle compared to say, BOTW.

Yes the time mechanic really threw me for a loop. I disliked it at first, but I ended up falling into the flow - like the seasons. Overall I appreciate the game much more as an adult than as a child. Same for me - in fact some of the music inspired me as well. OOT borrowed from other cultures and really broadened my perspective as a little tacker

Gotta agree with this. Apples to oranges. (Cheers for the share above) ---- Regarding Majora's Mask - I agree with others here it is dark as fuck. The story is quite involved and adult. While the shadow temple in OOT scared the shit out of me (those fucking hands and the guy that slowly ambles toward you to chomp Link, and the redeads), Majora's Mask was pure doom. The vibe I have is "deranged" for that game

Commit the ultimate act of Zen Devilry and upload your small self to virtual storage God, I mean - I think some users have already created Leo Gura LLM's - I saw a link somewhere here. People literally stealing a person to entrain an LLM. 🤮🤢

@Joshe I think this concept is much, much more complex than we typically give it credit for. And I appreciate you going into the phenomenology of it for you - direct. I raised this topic as I see this term thrown about online as some "virtue" in dating, psychology, family relationship etc. And it constantly left me concerned that no one was using the term in the same way... or even bothering to define it. And then in another thread on these forums there were many different takes on it. "Be authentic" sounds so profound when users throw it about - but it is severely under specified. It seems like you act on authenticity based on a defined and known sense of self, correct? What if that self changes? What if your value changes? Authenticity must change for you as well... unless we go down the route of arguing that "I didn't know myself then, so I didn't know I wasn't acting out of authenticity" and this makes the term almost begin to lose all meaning. Does authenticity rely on us not being self deceived? This doesn't make sense either. Which you may have been attempting to elucidate (or maybe a tangential point). It is not a function like authentic (x) - it is more like, authentic (x, relative-to-y, under-context-c)... or I could be overthinking. But something about this all feels very unresolved as I continue to unpack it. Which is why I thought maybe a contemplation type thread might work I almost want to find a reference point for authenticity - what makes one reference point the legitimate reference point for authenticity? As soon as I feel I am closer, more questions come up.

Seems a problem of underdetermination.