Natasha Tori Maru

Indeed, just IMAGINE Job's reaction to what apple has become. I recall my media teacher in high school - the first iPod had recently come out. We all had huge hard drives for film work, Nokia 3210, iPods (if lucky) and huge camera setups. He said, and I quote 'give it 15-20 years and Apple will have consolidated all of this stuff into a pocket sized media centre + phone everyone carries with them'. He called it - and he also said Steve Jobs would probably have a ball busting time with business because he was so non-conformist & building something no one could envision.

This is quite ironic because every iphone lately has been juiced by marketers to death, exactly as Jobs described marketing teams flogging products with the equivalent of a 'new bottle shape' as a product.

inc marketing team: milk it boys and never stop

The way I learned (learned the fucken hard way) to get what I want done? Endless, nonstop & relentless follow-up. Its not any advice someone wants to hear. But this is the only way to get projects accomplished on-time and within budget. Kill them with kindness and be ruthless with action. First it might help to know what you want, though. Values assessment.

Yep, agree. I think this could be because women bare children and must caretake as part of base survival process - so they are physiologically wired to pay more attention to their inner state (feeling, emotions, body sensations) and the wellbeing of children (interpreting expression, cries, feeling states). There is some evidence that shows men are socialized out of emotional/feeling attention, but many men experience alexithymia which indicates there is a survival mechanism at play. But overall I think women and men both feel the same range and power of emotions. Men may not have a good a grasp of understanding/sensing and deciphering, and women pay so much attention to feelings/emotions they indeed 'lingering much longer' to quote you. Just within the realm of my experience - men do feel just as much emotion/feeling as women, they simply aren't always as aware of this. But this last part might be up for debate, as I may not have a proper experiential dataset. I am pretty open in admitting while I can see other perspectives and frames - experience is king. Mother - not at all. Father - yes. Unfortunately, my parents split when I was 15 or so. My grandfather had a huge hand in raising me. My mother, after the split, dated a man with BPD. Lots of parallels with your experience! I think I had a really good representation of love and secure attachment in my most formative years. This helped me a lot. But I did attract men who had BPD and attachment issues for a good time. This tells me I did end up with a slightly misinformed understanding of love, as I was driven to be attracted to men with similar unhealed wounds. Since my most catalytic relationships I have healed a lot. In addition - some real securely attached relationships after these facilitated healing and I now consider myself pretty mature and capable. Overall no regrets engaging with BPD men, but it really taught me a lot. The experience of being with them and a BPD stepdad (he ended up in maximum security jail for 8 years). Really gave me some great skills with people. Being able to read them and understand them/their needs very very quickly. A lot of hypervigilance. And I am familiar with you reporting how you had to 'pretzel yourself' into something to manage your Dads feelings. The danger is we think we are responsible for others feelings of others - this is not so. And you can destroy your own boundaries in this way. Took a lot of healing and understanding to get past this (for myself at least ). I had to learn to fully allow them. It feels like surrender. Then I always have a deep feeling of love from my chest upwelling as the feeling dissolves. Sometimes I have to fully sit, close my eyes, and imagine the feeling playing out IE me punching a wall, or yelling at the person. And the imagination method is so powerful it purges the emotion. I used to suppress - which resulted in anger. And when I didn't express anger I ended up depressed. Not good. I get you completely. 100% I always show deep gratitude and appreciation when I am in love with someone. It is core to the feeling for me. Part of my drive is to express how much value, support and enrichment a man shows to me through physical affection and acts of service. Just my particular love language. When a women fails to appreciate her man there is no faster way to emasculate him. And I can understand why this would destroy your sex drive. Men typically engage in their own emotions and expression when a woman shows they truly value his place and role in her life - and this emotional connection feeds into female sexual desire. Very symbiotic. This could just be my own dynamic - but it is always the most healthy I have engaged in. You sound like you have seen a lot - and not in a bad way - in a way that has made you grow in consciousness and strength,

@Ash55 You might enjoy this one - I listened to it this morning Another Renowned U.S. Army remote viewer, Angela Ford - and Area52Investigations is generally a really intriguing and well put together channel

I think this is true. My Dad sat me down for this chat when I was a teenager. He was brutally honest about the nature of men so I would be aware. I wonder how some women learn this without that sort of chat. Maybe through experiencing it, which must not feel nice to many women and girls.

I have experienced something similar when I worked in retail. I transferred away to another store - which in retrospect, I was VERY fortunate to be able to do. I worked with them for 2 months before that. They had a psychotic break a year after all this. Look up 'grey rock' technique to use in the meantime before another solution can be found. This helped me with hard boundaries, and I used it as a way to protect myself. I've been around dangerous and violent people for most of my younger years. Addicts, mentally ill. Violent, troubled people - but these types have compassion still. The type of person you describe could be a sociopath/psychopath similar to the one I dealt with. They have a different sort of brain wiring that almost comes across as inhuman and devoid of compassion and empathy. At the time I lived with a very violent individual that did me a lot of harm, and he met this disturbed man I worked with: 'Tash you need to get away from that person. That is not a person' This came from someone who had their own troubles. Can you alter shifts at all? Overall I would advice against challenging this individuals worldview....

Yes for sure. I already log all my dreams and journal daily. On the weekends I review entries and look for patterns in the day, and contrast them to dreams. Thanks for your post

I think what sets me apart in terms of atypical is that I have a very good understanding/integration/ability to flip flop between masculine and feminine polarities. Most of the issues with the men I had experience with BPD manifested as extreme anger and then lucid shame spirals in a loop. The most difficult aspect of this sort of personality type is assuring them that connection and acceptance is still present even when there is disagreement. Any perceived 'difference' in personality is seen as a rejection. Most of the issue is an unclear sense of self and boundaries - often leading sufferers to absorb their partners likes and dislikes in an attempt to connect. So when the sufferer was 'triggered' I would have to hold space and remain calm and hold boundaries until the main emotional pain had run its course. Doing this put me into a masculine frame and would de-energise my sexuality. Once connection was reassured I can let it all go - and this surrender would put me back into a feminine frame of expression which would bring back my desire for love, sex and connection. I do not think I view BPD as 'childish' in behaviour - I view it as a suffering individual in extreme pain. I try not to judge as there is so much stigma around personality disorders - especially cluster b. The ability to let things go is what puts me back into a feminine frame. I do not hold onto feelings needlessly. I express them in a healthy manner, and then I am done. I feel like a lot of women get trapped in their emotions and cannot surrender and then let go. And they can use their emotions and feelings to try to validate a point. But I think men and women do this equally, it just seems to me that it manifests in different ways. Men tend to get angry and use rationality to bypass emotion. Which can appear more logical, but is based in emotions and feelings. Women tend to express them all in larger bursts and variety. Maybe my experience with BPD men has shown me how both sexes do this? In the end the desire to win any sort of debate is just the aversion to the feeling of humiliation. Which makes me think perhaps this could be something @Emerald is trying to dissect by interocepting and explicating around her anger, the use of this forum, and the desire to come back. Again, just some speculation. Might not have any grounds at all. But the aversion to humiliation is what propels most of the heated arguments here on and on. And on... and on. Really, in terms of men showing emotion, for myself, the only thing that flatlines my sexual desire is fear of safety. If a man is expressing with violence my fear system shuts my entire emotional system off. And for myself - my emotions and emotional connection are they keys to my sexual desire. Perhaps the 'childish' nature of men's behaviour flatlining a woman's sexual desire is more relating to mothering; if a woman feels like a man is immature and she has to perform too much of a matronly mother role this can kill sexual desire. But the woman should be mature enough to be able to look after and care for her man when needed. And also not feel like she is being taken advantage of. I am not sure if I answered your questions really... I do find it interesting you have had BPD experience as well.

Pretty radical honesty - but it means both partners need to be really mature (emotionally + intellectually). It requires each partner being able to moderate their own emotional reaction in an effort to find a solution. Radical emotional acceptance. I have been with people that had some mental health issues (diagnosed) and it usually meant I had to compromise on some boundaries to ensure it worked. In particular borderline personality disorder - the suffering of the individual is so extreme I often had to appeal to emotion to maintain peace - and then move toward rationality once calm was established. It isn't personal with BPD sufferers. I am not a typical woman though - I don't mean to say, I am a special snowflake - more that I do not respond emotionally in ways society is more familiar with. I think I could just be a bit more mature as well.

This sounds like a unique dynamic. Atypical to my experience

Trivialism? Or is that too much disintegration/nuking of rationality. Trivialism into infinity?

Sum next level disfunction

Yep. One I faced many times: being attractive naturally attracts men who value that. And do not value who you are as a person. So all your worth to them is based on your attractiveness. So there is an enforced inherent clinging to the physical and maintaining it. And the burden of that attachment and attempt to maintain it is immense; women age. All flowers die and return to the earth. Body changes, skin changes. Resisting this is terrible. Men who do not think they are of equal attractiveness will filter themselves out and never approach due to their own inherent belief they are 'not attractive enough'. But the irony is - they stand more of a chance to see me for who I really am beyond the illusion of the body. Overall men and women have their own challenges - and ones suffering cannot be compared. I think it is a shame to try to minimise another's suffering. Man or woman.

We like the dream All your mods shredding each other to ribbons

Tone is conveyed with the language we choose. And the perpetuating responses signify various things. Neutrality can be conveyed. But if this is how you choose to see your actions at this time, it must be soothing in some way. We aren't conscious to what we are unconscious of

Wooooosh

@integral Do you think I judge for you making a sexist statement? Because I just view you as confused and there aren't any social ramifications from myself toward you. I don't think badly of you at all. I just see someone still learning.

I suppose there is an issue there with others motivations & intentions

@integral You might be reacting to a loaded context you have pre-existing regarding your interactions with @Emerald Reading per post again in isolation I think you may be reacting in an emotionally charged manner to just one line of the entire post. Thus missing the point. I do think it might be worth exploring why you feel so triggered at being called sexist in attitude. Usually when we are confident and assured there isn't even a need to defend.

They buy them simply to make more money past the point of need. Humans are greedy and that need makes capitalism poo. Humans are part of the system you cannot remove from it. Ideally arguing for capitalism isn't going to work because the whole point is the system isn't being used properly. We are looking at how it is applied here. And it is currently being leveraged to exploit those at the bottom. Have you noticed that many of the solutions you propose on the forum relate to 'start business and make money'? Just a theme I have noticed.

I would probably ask what happened to Carl, and where did he go? 🤪

@Miguel1 no, not a narcissist ❤️ I think you just see the other perspective due to your unique experience!