Natasha Tori Maru

I went from homeless for a month, to video game addict for 10 years. Couch surfed and mooched off others for 3/4 years. Unable to hold down a job of more than 1 day a week. Deep nihilism and black pill. Cut off family, burned bridges with everyone I know. Chronic weed night day, wake and bake 5 years. Flunked University 3 times before I successfully earned a degree. Disregarded health to the extent I was landing in hospital frequently. Share housing until 33. Now I run a construction business with my Dad, have enough for a house deposit. Searching now. Reconnected with family. Got a dog. Love the dog. Did art, modelling and creativity all through. Hardcore spirituality put me straight, despite bad conditioning. You can do it. I did it. I am no one. Just some random chick who will live and die and love and end. To be forgotten. But life is just a beauty.

@Hojo i have seen you pull context and reply to users based on previous interactions. Whether you are conscious of this or not, you do it.

This says a lot.

https://youtu.be/DwrLER53G88?si=Hl5SzS-M1HWYLCXt

You have a very unique worldview. I enjoy your thoughts, and your YouTube stream of consciousness vibe sessions 🙃

@LoneWonderer Australian bushland vibes. Sometimes I want to capture something of the arid land here, despite the lack of vibrancy and colour. This is the weaving I have been going at - I'll probably work off the metal triangle with finer threads and hang this piece of Tibetan quartz I have

I enjoy it - I simply wouldn't be here otherwise. Arguing is fine, so long as I am not so attached to my ideas 'MY IDEAS'. Just an idea - not mine. This helps remaining objective for me. I actually enjoy when my ego is prodded. There is always, always, always something to be learned. Biggest growth happens for me there. So, I do not shy away from some crabbiness. I just don't return to the forum for a bit. Mostly I just don't read a users reply if I think it will emotionally compromise me. Replying isn't winning. The person who had the last word isn't the winner. There are no winners. I do not tolerate anyone speaking down on others. Condescension or sly jabs. Overt insults don't rattle me, especially when out of character, because it is just the user at a bad moment in time. They could just be emptying and it isn't really meant to be directional. I feel a lot of pity and sadness they demean themselves with this language. Most people aren't arseholes. Maybe we just caught them on a bad day. But really insidious, twisted jabs disguised as political correctness, or users who are systematically dickheads are not good. Points to a deepset pathological issue. I suppose I have a different view of the forum because I am a Moderator. I have the added Moderator drama that adds to my experience. People take discipline/corporal punishment very personally, despite the objective nature of a lot of issues. The grey areas and murky decisions are the hardest. Many users will never agree with you. So moderating carries a more inherently loaded emotional experience - usually laced with negativity. I just take the bad feelings and transmute them into something good. Empty it out. I like this place full of all you weirdos! Even when I disagree. It is all just experience - why should I judge if it is good or bad? It does me no good. I do discern though. EXPERIENCE!

@LoneWonderer Oh my - DON'T STOP! I love the first one - I am a huge fan of architecture (of course lol, I build the shit) and brutalism is so underappreciated! @chisel This is brilliantly skilled work. What mediums did you use? A combination? A lot of skill in this render, particularly how you have mastered the soft shading gradients of the lashes and skin, while also rendering the harder clean details within the eye to really emphasis the glassy, mirror like nature of the eye. The reflection rendered in strict, clean white sets it off @Ramasta9 I really love these! I am a huge fan of mandala like images. I think I posted a mandala somewhere in this thread. Fractals, colours. Very attractive and striking. I am also glad you saved these ones, as it carries meaning considering AI has large power and water costs to the environment. I love AI used for art, but I hate when it is wantonly used for memes, stupid images etc. Big environmental costs. But these are worth the power & water <3 I have a confession - I HAVE BEEN SHOCKINGLY LAZY LATELY I have only done some doodles recently. Nothing finished. I have been teaching myself weaving/macrame as I have been flat out at work & life. I'll post my weaving experiments soon !

I tend to just do the process I described in my head. When we started to work with many different clients I recorded it down due to volume. Prior to this I was always fascinated with what motivates people, how they tick, how they make decisions and what their values/core needs are. My initial introduction to the process was, funnily enough, going through pretty extreme childhood trauma. Living with caretakers who had clinical pathologies (cluster B) I had to learn to read people so quickly. In a flash. My safety depended on my ability to do this, and pretzel myself into what that person needed in an effort to bring peace. Unfortunate beginnings that spawned my ability, and then interest. Recording has been quite interesting. I pick up more subtle patterns I sometimes miss. Micro-expressions happen in a flash. But they tend to reveal the most. I think you called it 'morally flexible', because to be frank, I used to be a manipulative cu**. Internet troll. Intentionally fucking with people. Arrogant and power hungry. I try to be a nice girl now This. I go with my first intuitive instinct. Sometimes I need to pause and consider - but this is mostly when I did not have a strong initial feeling to go on. The longer I take to answer, the less likely I will be accurate. This did take some time. Lots of inquiry around feeling, emotion. More than what is normally inquired about - we don't really like to deeply investigate our emotions, I have found. I had to build up trust in my feelings, and the truth to be found there. I have to know when a feeling is true, stemming from a belief, part of conditioning I haven't yet dissolved, false, or even when feelings are just vestigial limbs that are tacked onto thoughts that aren't relevant. I have to know precisely where my feeling or emotion is coming from, else I cannot trust it. Lots of reverse engineering internally. I think it definitely helps to be very open and non-judgmental with this process. We can never really, truly know what others are thinking, feeling. Their meaning or history. I am always open to not knowing and being wrong. Everyone has a different set of habits and tells. The longer you work with them, you build up a context around the person to better help you understand. But I always prepare for a surprise

@Carl-Richard 35/36 What does this mean? I know I am an excellent profiler of people. My dad actually sends me to meetings just to scope out body language and facial expression. My colleague does all minutes so I can focus on that. Then I speak to stakeholders one on one in follow-up video calls under the guise of general clarity and agendas. I use AI to record the conversation and profile them, take notes regarding what they emphasise, how the conversation is directed and what they volunteer as information unprompted. These are the keys to subconscious motivations. Then after first meeting, I submit a small profile of each stakeholder. This helps us develop relationships with these members, because often we work with them repeatedly across projects because they really enjoy working with us. I'll admit it's a lot of manipulation, but it's for a good cause (building hospitals within budget, time and to maximum profit). I've been almost 100% correct with my profiles so far. One guy totally had me stumped though, be was so emotionally and expressively flat I couldn't really gauge his needs. We work with these project managers/architects/consultants and clients for a year at a time. Sometimes more. So it is worth the time investment. This all comes quite naturally to me, so it is not an effort to do on top of my usual work because I am fascinated by what motives people. Due to the above I am really unsure if I fit any sort of label...

Social media generations are petrified and terrified of true intimacy. Real connection is a threat to them. But at the same time, they are deeply lonely, and as a result, disconnected. Numb. Seeking any stimulation to avoid the pit of emptiness inside. Causing their own problems like a snake eating it's tail. It's all about fear of intimacy, commitment and work. FOMO. Grass is greener. I agree with your points in this thread 🙏

I didn't even notice 🙃 Identifying as female is so low on my radar I do often miss inclusive type stuff.

No, found. I must say, it is on the nasty, vitriolic side for a meme. Someone was upset when the made it 💀 She looks spiritually constipated to me. Strained smile. Bit of uncanny valley with the over emphasised chin, mouth, teeth. And smile that doesn't extend to the eyes. Overall a deranged meme 🤣

Quite the claim. Burden of proof.

@theleelajoker To be clear I'm not shitting on concepts/ideas/labels or thought. They have their use and they are absolutely an asset. But we if are talking spiritual process, freeing, acceptance, integration, ending unnessecary suffering and awakening - as you start to dissolve conditioning we see how these things act to fuck everything up. So you learn exactly when to throw them away, and when you use them. It also becomes very clear when others are using them to identify with ego, centralising experience. Rather than dissolving the subject / object relationship we have and being within experience in a nonlocal, free way. No judgement. Only discernment. It's like seeing the clouds and saying 'those are MY clouds, MY sky' 'MY ideas, MY thoughts' Not sure if this resonates with you? I think you understand this part of the path ❤️

How come you were unable to see your shadows without the label?

Yeah, it seems to be the actual root issue behind the surface discussion regarding labels/concepts/ideas. It's not about ND not ND. NT not NT. It could be anything. It's the underlying theme behind the human drive towards concept/idea/label in an attempt to seek existential meaning. Without investigating what meaning is, in an of itself. There appears to be attachment present. And reassurance / relief from said attachment. Evidence by emotional attribution. This is actually counter to equinimity. There's a huge mix of users who are more direct experience based, and those more concept/thought based. Sometimes there isn't the realisation the concept/thought/idea/label acts as a cataract between the eyes and the vision/truth. This is a heavy model/concept thread. I am aligned with your view. But I don't want to engage, pick my battles etc 🥹

I suppose the thread title is also a misnomer - no one needs to be fixed. No one is broken. We are all valid as we are, without having to prove it, fit in. Or show worth...

How come we cannot accept ourselves without a label/concept/idea ? Perhaps we look too much to society to tell us what is right, rather than within.

Rofl Prescribed shrubs

Do you prefer practical in-camera effects during filming (SFX) or digital effects post-production (VFX)? I understand many like both - but this is about what you prefer Might be interesting to add your age too! For demographics. VFX examples: CGI creatures CGI/Digital environments Green/Blue screen compositing De-aging actors/adding makeup Blending Motion Capture SFX examples: Explosions (controlled pyrotechnics on location Weather effects on-set Animatronics/puppets Stunts Stop Motion animation There is a bit of overlap with stop motion/motion capture as both effects require SFX & VFX to pull off. I consider stop motion animation to be more SFX though.

@PolyPeter You may enjoy a lot of Peter Ralston (if you have not already heard of him). His delivery is forceful, emotive, passionate and earnest. Candid. Some cannot get past that. But if you can, he has a lot to say about beliefs. It is an asset to be able to make a distinction between a truth and a belief. Regardless, both are an asset/have use. In my opinion

100%

@Ramasta9 Rofl Don't you see? They want a formula for life! Dick and balls in white pants = 58.57% increase chance to get dick wet