Natasha Tori Maru

Went for a run, had a shower, walked the dog while thinking on this feeling thing. Time is a construct that humans create with our minds. There is not time. All happens simultaneously. If this is the case, and the time dimension is removed, all that exists is each moment in absolute synchronicity. We all would inherently know the same. Meet up when needed. No clocks to check. Just know. But to embody this synchronicity, all must be one. So perhaps thinking through the above, feeling (and love being the highest and most powerful) act as a force to unify us. To push us to this synchronicity. When unified, there is no time. We are then, everything. You love, everything. You are God, and it is a living force in all. So you are God manifest, you are the condensed, coherent energy of God, made up of the very fabric of existence. Here to experience itself. But this can only occur with the construct of time being present. And inherent to this is the feeling dimension that arises. So, feeling acts to synchronize all to supersede time. All happens now, due to complete coherence & synchronicity with each other. Time is just God's creation to enable separation and learning. And feelings arise to push us to synchronize into one. Every evil act is therefor a division. Necessary to learn that unity, synchronicity, is the path. The polarity exists to learn that the more evil one enacts, the further they get from God. Bad feelings arise from evil acts. Divide. Maybe this is how feelings transcend pure survival, and also act as a conduit to propel us to God consciousness.

I do agree with your assessment regarding Leo's bias toward the masculine. I think his strength there is that he is able to translate these concepts and communicate them in a format that speaks to men, who often need to use 'head/mind' heavy concepts to deconstruct & integrate concepts. I am hoping his next step is understanding & integrating his current concepts through the feminine. I use metaphor and simile to try to understand concepts and how they integrate into a system. Because to be quite frank, I am frustrated by the limitations being a human has! But I am here to work with these limits. And learn. Often, I use mathematical concepts to try to reduce things down into constituents and substitute for x or y when I am too caught in undefined words. I do believe 'feelings' are an integral part of consciousness as experienced by humans, but the way I understand this is, they are just energy. Just vibration and frequency. All living things experience energy, we just happen to differentiate feelings out, and label them. Like the 'strong force', 'weak force', 'gravity', 'magnetism' etc If feelings propel change, as @integral points out, then they are a sort of force in space. Time is the frame. IE change = distance / time (much like velocity = distance / time). If we are all this 3 dimensional space, feelings are descriptions of length and direction with time. Making them a driver of reality. This metaphor has holes in it though, as we know time is an illusion and human construct. Time in 3d space is also not constant as E=MC^2 shows. Also, if we hold time as constant, reality breaks down into infinite realities where all things happen simultaneously. All outcomes happen. Can feelings be the force that can breach the boundary of each reality? That pull you out of one reality and into another? The frame is a huge problem for me!

He was sober for a short period before taking medication through a doctor. But his pathology was so extreme he had to do something, as his basic ability to function was bricked to all hell. I was his boss at the time in retail, and he was actively seeing shit on the sales floor when interacting with customers. Needless to say, I did spend a lot of company time and money orchestrating shifts and environments that wouldn't trigger him, in an effort to protect him so he didn't lose his job. He was very much hell bent on self-deletion from some heavy trauma. @CosmicExplorer I agree that alcohol and cigarettes are serious substances that can destroy lives, but the financial corruption propelling those industries is so large and systematically ingrained... the problem is huge and multi-level. No easy solution. It is intertwined with greed and personal prosperity at the expense of others. Not to mention how ingrained alcohol is in our culture. It punctuates almost every celebratory event you can name in the west. Alcohol is more damaging than weed, in my opinion, but purely because of how much more widespread it is. It is hard to say if both substances were used equally which would be worse. @Leo Gura's recent post is interesting. Personally, I do not think drugs should be criminalized. It clogs up the prison system. People should not be punished for addiction. They should be treated. My take will always lean towards compassion. Legalizing? Thats another matter. Unfortunately, the low consciousness state of most of modern society means drugs are more likely to be abused than used as a tool. It's like handing nukes to a child.

He didn't stop until he was well into visually and audibly seeing shit without any connection to another sound or object. It took a good month, me and all his mates, to convince him shit was cooked

Good conversation, good brain food. Much appreciate

Thanks, indeed you also! Your prose has excellent pace and structure. When you read it, the cadence helps illustrate your point as it has a pleasing rhythm Unless you are frustrated - then it is a staccato explosion

A fuckton, chronic blow-my-brains-out to escape life amounts. By the time he went chronic with it... consistently for 4-5 months would be my approx He was 32.

Yes I agree, it's just a model I currently use to try to understand feelings as a process and system. They exist, they have an energetic pattern to them, yes. Are they useful for survival? Absolutely. I feel there is some confluence & coherence between feelings, their purpose, and God. But I admit its just something I purely intuit. I need to think on this more

Yep, they stabilized him enough to begin coming back down to reality. Around 8 months of anti-psychotics and abstinence from all drugs They absolutely TRASHED his body though. Destroyed his muscle mass (wastage and atrophy) and he put on a profound amount of weight.

Do you think maybe it would be better to define the act of observing beauty as not the feeling itself - but your response to it as the feeling? IE observing the beauty is the action, and the feeling of joy and pleasure is the feeling 'reaction' ? I think I am caught trying to understand you as beauty isn't a feeling to my knowledge

Tracking back to the schizophrenia topic directly - this is my anecdote from my experience with my ex who went through it (if any are interested): It started with hearing odd things within sounds, and progressed steadily from there until experiencing full auditory command hallucinations. So, as an example (which he commonly reported), the sound of a drain gurgling. He would often ask me 'did that sound just like, say something? It sounds like children laughing when the drain empties, can you hear that?'. He would fixate on listening to the specific sound, analyzing it every time. It went from 'laughter sounds' to 'someone mumbling' to 'someone talking'. Right before he went to speak to a professional and start medication, these 'sounds within sounds' had jumped out to be independent voices telling him to do things. Checking the windows and blinds was a common command hallucination where the voices told him there were people about. Constantly opening and closing the blinds. Interrupted sleep to check the blinds.... The above was a similar story regarding visual hallucinations - where he would catch something in the corner of his eye. Soon he was seeing cockroaches flitting about. Shadows turning into animals - which in the same progression as above, moved to an animatronic dog that spoke to him constantly. I had no idea how to deal with this other than to be there with him, and constantly repeat 'I know you see that L, and its real for you, but I want you to know I am here also, and I don't see that'. I don't know what his full direct experience was like, but these were how his symptoms manifested and grew until they interrupted his ability to function. By the end he was terrified he wouldn't get his sanity/normal brain function back. It didn't help his doctor's answer to the above was 'We really don't know, some people recover, some never' This was from cannabis.

For myself I think of thoughts as an electrical pattern of energy, a nerve pulse that has a frequency. That frequency in the brain creates a field, which gives rise to the emotion. I use the analogy of an electrical toroid wire with a current applied: we know a current passed through a wire induces a force called magnetism. So in the above example - the thought 'electric current' arises, which induces an emotion 'magnetism' that has a polarity. The magnetism or 'emotion' in the body has very real effects: blood pressure can rise or lower, heartrate, breathing etc. This emotion will effect your state, and what you draw or push away from you. As I cannot clearly define a thought or emotion, I find this analogy to work so far to understand the mechanism of feelings as a system. By understanding these emotions are like magnets, they will attract me to what I require through their polarity. God wants to experience itself through me, as I am the fabric of existence. So love, as a feeling, a magnetic polarity, draws me to everything, connects. I am in love with existence, so I draw the entirety of the universe through, and of me. The feeling is the connection. To be so in love with the moment and existing as to feel all, have all emotions. Embody God. I should add that lesser emotions that do not have the same power level of love, as they do not always unify, definitely have a role in survival, as our existence is a system

They are clean in the sense of being sterile, as infection control is an entire department that comes in and assess areas we fit out as part of commissioning. But clean in terms of smells and scents as per @integral's definition in relation to his triggers? No way. Smoking is a huge example - many mentally ill people still regularly smoke in acute adult mental health facilities. The nurses hold onto their smokes and dispense them at regular intervals under struct supervision. It's rather well known nicotine assists in keeping these patients stable as it is a powerful dopaminergic drug. I have witnessed these conversations almost every time we have been to these facilities. 'WHERES MY SMOKES, I NEED MY SMOKES' On the floorplan of a big refurb we did, there is an outdoor courtyard dedicated to this. These patients walk straight back into the ward, carrying these smells

No, love is a feeling and an emotion to embody

@samijiben It is a disservice and insult to Leo's work to engage in trolling like this. ignored

You haven't given my proof any thought

Haha, It is more that I find maths useful to clearly and logically express a deduction in reasoning without any fluffy language that can be misinterpreted. I still think what I wrote is true, and I am very open to it being disproven. I don't mind being incorrect

I'm trying to understand. Truth =/= Feeling Love = Feeling Love = God Therefore, Truth =/= God

Keen to hear the answer here also. Mainly because I experience all as vibration, frequency, energy. So I can integrate feelings into this experience easily as they are another frequency. Confluence & coherence are the reasons for matter arising in this reality, all lit up with the energy of god. So making something happen is a matter of increasing coherence of a system. So god is everything, everywhere. I am merely the manifestation of this coherent system of energy, frequency and vibrational alignment. The energy of the absolute creating my experience is made up of the very fabric of reality itself. Consciousness gives rise to matter in its slow, concentrated vibration.

Are your cuticles fucked up and brutalised? Dead skin build-up and overgrowth like an evil fungal infection? I've got the treatment for you! Step 1: Soak with Blue Cross cuticle remover Step 2: Gently use cuticle sticks to push cuticle and rub away dead skin Step 3: Moisturise with Jojoba Oil I have tried many different ways of managing cuticles, this has been the best by far. I learned this from nail-techs & advice from online. I did go through a phase of literally cutting them down with a v shaped tool, however all this did was cause them to return like fucken weeds with dragon armour. I do my own nails as I enjoy the process so much, I never pay for it to be done. This works great for feet also! The Cuticle Remover is basically a depilatory, so it will dissolve any dead skin and leave a renewed surface.

I think there is a pattern of behaviour to recognise with this man. He has continually treated the women around him like objects, brood mares, rather than emotional human beings. I do believe there has been an ongoing battle between Elon & Grimes, the musician, regarding custody and payments. Grimes is adamant she wants her children off social media completely. Elon is clearly not respecting her wishes, using X as a public shield of innocence in the metaphorical sense, and literal. There was also an incident recently where X was quite sick, and Elon was using him as a manipulation tool. He refused to pass on critical information. I haven't read the thread here in its entirety, so this may have already been discussed. His treatment of his estranged daughter Vivian is something to note, also

In my personal experience, you get to this point where you feel like you need to be high to enhance any activity. It becomes the constant in life that underpins every event to make all activities less boring. 'I need to be high for this' It ends up backfiring and working against you. It robs you of the ability to get on with the cotidien nature of reality, and your tolerance for boredom is decreased. Say goodbye to your appreciation of the small things, of just being. Nope, gotta be high for this ... Not good

Need to take into consideration the real toll growing and giving birth to a child has on your body also. Kids alter your body & mind in a irreversible way. It's a sacrifice.

@LifeEnjoyer @integral It is good you got out with lucidity. I recently worked on a fitout of a hardcore mental health lockdown ward at a hospital. For acute mental health care. The things I saw while working there... turbo level volatility. The schizophrenics that were checked in from weed psychosis would turn on you in the most unexpected ways. I'll never forget the man who came at me for some measuring I think I had to do, accusing me of stealing 'all my fucking black jelly beans' because I was in his temporary bedroom. Apparently later that day he smeared his shit all down the walls while speaking to 'the shadow people'. We had security details with us when we went to the ward to do any works. I have close family who have also experienced amphetamine psychosis. I'm not sure what the care system is like for psychotic patients in the US, but here in Australia is a shitshow. Pump you full of meds and send you on your way. Its just a triage system, no proper long term care. Not surprised @integral, you had to resort to trail and error. It goes to show we really do not fully understand mental health. The system of the brain and body is so complex...

I've had a lot of experience with cannabis. I have since totally quit. I got sick of feeling foggy, and appreciate the precise clarity of mind sobriety brings. I do not have an addictive personality, so it was never a crutch. I never had any adverse affects. My sister, however, experiences full panic attacks at the smallest toke. My ex, also, was triggered into full psychosis - he required heavy medication to stabilise him. My brother also has experienced some psychotic symptoms. It is a heavy substance that isn't given the full respect it deserves. The biggest issue I have seen from individuals who do not enter psychosis: a total inability to emotionally regulate themselves. Without cannabis (or even with) they seem to fly off the handle very easily, and are overwhelmed by emotional states. This, combined with the rumination cannabis can lock you in, leads to paranoia. Very rapid emotional cycling is another common one. @integral So much compassion for your struggles, I stayed with and lived with an ex who went through psychosis induced by weed use. He just wanted his brain to be normal again I appreciate the post. Caution.