Natasha Tori Maru

Let's have a wholesome thread. Gimme your earned wisdom! Behavioural signs that are a proxy for good character or trait! I'll start: He makes me want to be a better woman. Not because I need his approval or to earn love. Because I genuinely admire him Doesnt confuse vulnerability with weakness. Accepts no with no retaliation. Doesn't mistake independence for rejection. Can navigate relational ruptures without throwing out the relationship or abandoning themselves. I got more, but these are to get us rolling !

I think you need to focus on what is said, and seperate it from your interpretation and inference.

@Ulax

@mariabudanova this silly chaps don't know, nevermind their brains buzzing along, frantically explaining everything away 🤸🏻

🎯

I wonder if his age factors into the incarceration time. 10 years between 50-60yo seems to me would be different to 10 years 20-30yo.

It's 10 years. He stealthed a woman. Anally raped her while she said no, repeatedly. Lounder and louder. Continued until she was bleeding. She never consented to condom removal or anal. Only normal intercourse.

Muahahahaa! I am poking fun - this thread sorta sets the tone 😃

Can't tell if jokes.... But if serious, just try and see what happens. I. Dare. You.

It was my biggest personal trigger too 🥹 Nothing could make me crash out faster. Most disagreements or strange comments toward me now are just "hmmm, this person probably just misunderstood me, or I failed to make myself clear. I'll good faith check and see if they are wilfully doing so, or it is just miscommunication". I just tap out when it's a bad faith character; I don't care if they misunderstand me. Caring for my grandmother with dimentia taught me this also. I had to use force and conviction to perform physical caring tasks. She didn't understand why her granddaughter was so pushy. Forcing her to wash or eat. Checking bill dates etc. It was an act of love to care for her. She just couldn't understand it. I had to come to terms with my expression of love being misunderstood as an act of removing her liberty and soverignty. Like a child that doesn't realise why they have a bedtime. But the parent sets the routine for a benefit that can't yet be understood. Difficult lessons. But the best ones 🙏💫

Are you an experiencer?

Are you a woman? It is a simple analogy for concept comparison. Not a one-to-one point equivalency in raw power. I am drawing attention to how we weigh risk and hazards and determine threat levels as a concept. I am not drawing any moral conclusions. Man or woman - violence is wrong on both ends. But we live in reality. Men are stronger than women in raw power.

This is it. His brain is full of cotton wool conspiracy pattern matching threads of esoteric beliefs. Just listening to him in that Piers Morgan interview is painful. Insane amounts of flamboyant, ostentatious rhetoric that says nothing at all while retreating into a semantic fog when challenged. It takes 20 minutes to even understand one line from him, meanwhile he has shotgun fired into ten other conspiracy theories. I swear he studied Jordan Peterson's slippery evasion jukes. There is so much show to try to appear erudite.

Yes - it's for this same reason we laugh when a chihuahua jumps on or snaps someone. But we destroy larger breeds like pitbulls when they do the same.

Let's have some FUCKING ARRESTS over Epstein. Haven't seen that yet.

@Vido I'll never forget that interview you linked. It spawned a huge thread here: When asked the deep questions - Sadghuru's answer is "It's bad dirt causing mind diarrhea. All from the bad dirt! BAD DIRT!"

Experience. And earned wisdom. I think I was born with a very high capacity for stress, but I also learned early on that recovering from failure was more powerful a tool than avoiding or being locked in indecisiveness. A lot of varied, challenging and poor life experience has resulted in deep self trust. I trust in my capacity to deal with violation & transgression of my self; physical and mental. I do practice caution, but I am not fearing in the sense I have a complex of thought that inhibits me. I suppose I have demonstrated to myself my own capacity for stress and operate from there. I am not afraid to ask for help and lean on others. This was a hard lesson. I don't know what is to come. I don't know how much I might suffer. But I trust I have the capacity to handle it and recover. And if I don't - well - I'll be dead! I (so to speak, haha) won't be there to worry I suppose the trick is not letting experience harden you. It is just a story about some girl named Natasha out in space!

I think this is the more difficult hurdle of the two: internal admission vs public admission/confession. I believe he is totally self deceived. He is having to redefine how he qualifies rape & consent in his mind. He would have to come to terms with what this means for himself. His character. What this means for him. That feeling of lost integrity can be destabilising for the mind; especially when we have a construct in operation around a narrative "I am a good man". I'd imagine this would entail a substantial volume of renumeration; if it were me, I would be going over every sexual encounter (I could recall, considering he was probably inebriated in some form for most) and replaying what was said, my read on the person. Attempting to recall information I may have failed to pick up on, or ignored. That is a lot of ego backlash. Then it has to be accepted.

Not care about what they think. Or at least, if you do care, accept that you will feel sadness and allow this. With the idea that you may have some transient emotional upset that will pass, with the overall intention of good. Even if people do not understand your actions. I have largely given up trying to be understood as much by others. When younger, being misunderstood caused me much upset. Especially when it is wilful. It won't harm you to accept and feel hurt at others judgement. Avoidance of it is much worse. Not avoiding the pain of being judged and developing the capacity to experience it without allowing it to dictate my behaviour was a skill it took me a long time to learn.

Pleasure. In before someone uses it to analyse my psychological state, form a nice explanation for my psychology, and then force their frame of interpretation onto any statement I make from here on in

I would select rape. Taking into consideration I have a lot more resilience and internal stability than most people. I have a higher capacity withstanding psychological adversity. It is still a difficult hypothetical to answer. Similar to the bear/man one that is popular on social media. The bear-versus-man debate is interesting because it exposes how people evaluate risk under uncertainty.

Shit this is hard. Might have to come back to you. It heavily depends on what is meant by "rape". I might have a more solid answer if you define the scope of "rape" in this hypothetical. It is a cost weight between domains: 1) bodily autonomy 2) freedom 3) psychological trauma 4) physical safety 5) relationships 6) recovery 7) lost time. Those are the big ones for me.

@OBEler er, wow. I've had out of body experiences. You founded that argument based on an assumption instead of asking me?? How come you didn't ask?

The psychology of many women who stay with men like that becomes twisted over time. They are often made to feel "special" somehow. That he would never treat them like those other women. Or that she understands him. All his previous partners didn't and misunderstood his actions. Women feel privileged to have unique insight into their man, it can pull them closer. Make them feel more connected. Special. It's the other woman's fault somehow. They caused the actions, or misunderstood. Or won't take responsibility. Meanwhile the truth stares the partner in the face: she isn't special and she isn't immune to her partners wrath. Because the behaviour issue is from him. No one understand him, she does. So she naturally isolates a bit because everyone else doesn't understand her and her partner. In the case of Russell Brand I imagine isolation is a given due to fame. This further cements the narrative and immunises her against anyone else convincing her he alone is responsible and she isn't immune to his actions. Boundaries are blurry. It's a very predictable pattern with abused women. Slow boil. And it happens the other way also with genders swapped. Rape, abuse, assault - the psychology behind the strange loyalty is usually similar. Grew up in an abusive home seeing this whole thing play out in my family.

@JoshB woman can also be loyal to a fault once attached to a man. Their beliefs in him, his goodness, can be almost irrevocable. This could in part explain his wife's psychology.