Natasha Tori Maru

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Everything posted by Natasha Tori Maru

  1. 'Experiments in testing the limits of bias' I say go for it - everyone's sexuality expresses itself differently. Who are we to judge? Provided there are no violations of consent - woohoo
  2. I reckon your probably already excellent at reading subtle queues, body language and expression as well! All good - text has no tone. I bet if the prior post was said face to face the playful lightheartedness would be obvious 😁
  3. I don't think there is any shame in learning the subtleties of communication with women. Especially as they are much less forthcoming with directness. It doesn't mean you are less of a man. C'mon.... I do think it is essential to learn to be direct and challenge yourself by asking the question staight up. And this is not to be dismissed as a skill. Both methods are great tools to have. Why would you hamstring yourself?
  4. Where I Agree & Disagree with Feminism I agree with just about all. I think the first waves of feminism were great at altering structure to expand individual rights - later waves are overreaching into these structures somewhat. I dislike where feminism reaches for equality of outcome, over equality of opportunity. "That women are victims. Women need to be more responsible for sexual abuse. Women are not innocent victims in all this. Women need to be responsible for being attracted to abusive and corrupt men." I think this has some truth in it, but it's maybe poorly phrased. I think the point does have traction in that people can and should develop better judgment in partners. People can ignore red flags, rationalize bad behaviour, or repeat unhealthy patterns. There is value in teaching both men and women how to recognise manipulation, coercion, and early warning signs of abuse.... Which is about self protection and growth. The murky part is that this can lead to β€œthey chose it, so they share responsibility for the abuse.” This is the part I think reaches a bit far and might require rephrasing. It’s like saying someone who invests in a fraudulent scheme is partly responsible for the duplicitous scheme. They may have made a bad decision, but the wrongdoing still sits with the arsehole fraudster. The only solution is raising ones awareness - which rolls back to boundaries, self growth and protection. I partly agree, partly don't. Probably just a phrasing issue. I'll add to your list! - Bodily autonomy isn’t exclusively a women’s issue. Men can lose it too - ie conscription.
  5. Well... This might not directly apply. But when I need to pump a client, contractor or colleague for information, and not put them on the spot with a direct question. I use a provocation based statement. Or a prompt. You could make casual convesation to insinuate she has a boyfriend. "Holy shit that must have been an expensive job, with a lot of change orders. I bet it paid well!" - me talking to a contractor who worked with a client I am tendering for, trying to gauge if the client they worked with is rational (accepts variations in cost), or if they pay up. If they pay late etc "I hear they compensated everyone really well for that job and how painful it was, I heard the average bonus was $10k. Must have been great!" me prompting them to confirm or deny. They might respond with 'Fuck no, I didn't get shit!' "God that's bad luck you broke down on the freeway. But thats what's great about having a boyfriend, dudes usually love dumping in to show love by finding a solution - especially with cars". This insinuates she has a boyfriend. People love to correct others... Usually most chicks tell you about a parter within 5-10 minutes of rambling. BUT they will avoid mentioning a boyfriend if they are interested in you. But you can ask shit like "when and were was your most recent holiday?" Or "What's next for travel plans?" Usually chicks will mention the dude in plans. Usually, you want to put yourself in a position of being wrong. People cannot resist correcting you 😈 Just gotta make sure the 'wrong' assumption isn't insulting in any way!
  6. I mean no offense but this seems like a lot of online rhetoric that doesn't mirror most circumstances in the real world, in general. The passage sounds like algorithm social media ragebait that gets top views. I don't deny this might be the dynamic in some cases. I know a lot of small families in the Millennial age group and none of them suffer from what you describe. It also reads as very victim mindset.
  7. If you feel you are being mistreated, or treated by other users in a way that violates the guidelines - please report the post for review. There is no shame in reporting. It is not some sort of signal you are not capable of settling your own conflicts - the moderators are here precisely to step in with an impartial perspective. They’re not (or, ideally, should not be) emotionally involved in the situation, which allows them to assess things fairly and consistently. We are here to help and keep the peace You are doing an honorable thing; championing the horrible atrocities that are committed against people. Sometimes our methods of persuasion fail us, and when this happens it is easy to blame others. When in reality, we can always find a way to reach someone with an alternative method of communication. Or, simply, pick our battles when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force
  8. Hell yeah, I like the reels! Social media has transformed into utter slop. People claim it's phones, and that's some of it yes, but social media is the real turd in the room. I recall when smartphones first released. I was one of the first generation of users after Nokia was king. Smartphones became more of an issue for users when social media infested our minds.
  9. I hope we can try to increase the quality of posts.
  10. I like @AION ! I think he is sharp and can go far. He just doesnt like, understand (or care to understand) me. Which is okay with me, I don't need everyone to like me. Never gonna happen!
  11. Please do not publicly shame members with your own personal opinions who have no relevance to the topic. Try to stay on topic. If you cannot engage in the forum without shit talking members and the quality of the forum itself, you probably need to take a break. πŸ™πŸ»
  12. Please, it is wrong to imply this user is making excuses for pedophilia! Explaining the causes and mechanisms behind something does not excuse the behaviour! The user was NOT excusing harm caused to children, merely explaining the possibly causes of the pathology and source of issue. There is a big difference. The user also proposed mechanisms to prevent abuse. Understanding something can often lead to people allowing poor behaviour. This tendency is an indicador of poor boundaries. When we focus on causes, it is not softening moral judgement.
  13. I didn't see any reply from you, I have alerts turned off for replies and tags so I may have missed it? I am not mad or angry, I didnt get to see your reply before the topic was removed, actually. So not possible to BE angry. If you cannot read the room and notice my comments were light-hearted, and good natured, that's on you! Haha! It's your silly bias! None of my comments were jokes at the OPs expense - they were poking fun at MY behaviour. I had nothing to do with deleting the topic 😁😁😁 The ironic part is you are having an emotional tantrum because you broke a forum rule and received punishment. Shame-deleting is your move, incidentally. Witnessed across the forum. Projection.
  14. The video you shared made me reflect on this a bit. I think women's natural sex drive is more closely linked to emotions and feeling, over 'mental/thinking'. The presenter does remark women are 'in their heads' a lot and in the thinking mind. The narrative. Worries about safety. This is different to requiring feeling to engage in sexual desire. And I think many, many women get caught in this trap. Addiction to a narrative or fixation on safety/certainty. Maybe to refine further - male sexuality tends to be physical, while female sexuality emotional/feeling. I get shredded alive for suggesting women need to surrender to the swoon of being seduced. For me - desire, engagement, excitement, flow and a state of 'being' follow action. I don't wait for impulse, inspiration or desire. I make it and arouse it in myself with action. I just don't think many women approach it this way... They wait for a 'mood'. I take this action first approach with everything in life. I build new habits through action, to change my mental states and habits/thinking. I don't try to change my mental state to then feel motivation to effect action in the world. Anyway a bit off topic.
  15. People who are sexually attracted to children often do not want to be. They suffer. My compassion. Pedophilic disorder. Those who act on the impulse and violate the consent of another are disgusting. Children are too young to comprehend such things, and sexual activity too early often destroys their development. Creates pathologies, sex disorders, trauma. Causes trust issues. The victims suffer.
  16. Low quality post.
  17. Please refrain from posting sexist crap. Keep it to yourself.
  18. Haha - I wish. ENTP's are great! One step further for the full chadmogging - no hands. Just mouth on food
  19. I think its a great way to look at. Non-negotiables are the only things I try to discern right off the batt with new dudes. Get that out of the way. Its so rare to find people who are up-front and candid. And aware enough of their own needs they can clearly state them. Maturity helps - but MY GOD there are still many immature, low-consciousness individuals in the dating domain. Its shocking when someone is so together in professional life, family, friends. Relationships have a unique way of bringing out all of our uninspected parts and shadows. ROFL yeah he was very, very INTJ too. Very difficult for he and I to bond. He expected a female child to be female. So he did not treat me how I expected. Loaded expectations relating to gender. When I hit about 12/13 he realised I was more masculine minded and started to change how he related to me. Which was great! But 2 INTJ's running a construction business can be difficult. Same weaknesses. Same strengths. Insane when we butt heads. The best part is we do not take it personally so it doesn't ruin the father/daughter thing. Oh the knives - its not so unusual! My brother was a chef and he gave me many high quality japanese knives. I also have a set of Global knives that are just beautiful to use. And many of these: https://www.amazon.com.au/Victorinox-Classic-Pointed-Paring-Knife/dp/B0052C211C/ref=sr_1_10?crid=28QROH8OOK4ZR&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.sv3TCu0MiebfkZ_YEAjFhnNMMmkbJWr5yk-xeDqxTS046kcBmLr1I9n7O4S3pQsiUdNn2Uibm8_IGcKQKpNdkDmM-_s6aMvLl5csS1PQsd43GyDcR5ab8gbtI1kTnjtPpMwqOzI7vl647sO-09Ip4i02Ukgx1qxE92tO7E7pUYpzcFga0E0PEPOx-AzTfLHlOw21j80Jfn5b8O0qXAmXuzfZa_6-SICdnrsv2jr_9ltw4aRfRbHYXM3Y_XH9N3L_f20HdKJaFW8_cST-FUqit5hCo9l-QUhTz3OSkrVkUmk.r1ARvldF21MovT-5tGDL3HNUPQWcrqHUsF-tEu5vNU8&dib_tag=se&keywords=victorinox&qid=1726709499&sprefix=victorinox%2Caps%2C344&sr=8-10&th=1 They are the best cheap knives for little tasks - BUT FRIGHTENINGLY SHARP
  20. Wow, great share - thank you. 'Female sexuality is mental, male sexuality is physical' - while this is a bit reductive and absolute, in general it has been the trend I have seen. I don't get the sort of perspective this bird does, but I work in a male dominated environement. I was closest with my brother's. I see the lack of intimacy between men. And it's interesting to note this probably always exisited - it's just now we are becoming aware of it (internet, social media). Do you think men are socialised out of vulnerability and intimacy between men? This really fucks them because they are forced to derive all of this from women. Also interested in your experience being vulnerable with women when you don't intimately know them? I had an experience with my Dad yesterday where he cried in a vulnerable way. I felt so much more love and affection for him. Compassion. And it was a male type problem he was expounding on.
  21. To be clear it was me probing to understand what they were both referring to Self is thrown around as a full loaded term around here ...