Natasha Tori Maru

Do we have one? Rolling. Post that shit. Shorts, reels, tick-tock turds. Do your worst short format. Boomer cringe. I love the spittle on the guys mouth 🤮🤢 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS45V1Enf/

@Miguel1 it's rare. Even here. It is a big part of embodiment and grounding in the work. In my own journey - the things I wouldn't face, self trust, feelings of unworthiness, imposter syndrome... I seemed to find myself in situations again and again where I was faced with the same issues. Each time I ignored the issue - the next time it cropped up it was louder. Louder. Until it was screaming so hard I couldn't ignore it any longer. The pain of remaining in that space was worse than the pain of finally facing it. That pattern repeated for me until I was ready to face it. I contributed to it appearing in retrospect. Perhaps you haven't heard the screaming full force .. yet. Maybe you have. Only experience taught me self trust. Relationships have a way of fast tracking spiritual growth and being a mirror for all your shit. Done right, conscious ones, bring up as much pain as joy. The pain of growth. The only way is to just risk it all and be open to opportunities. What you seek might not be where you would look - or who you think you need to look for. Maybe you don't know what's best for you? I sure didn't ❤️

I never said it was easy. But it is the only way I know. Absolute trust in myself the fear will not be my undoing. I will endure no matter what happens. This is the only way I know to approach another in total authenticity and vulnerability - by trusting myself. If you don't trust yourself.... This could be at the heart of the issue.

The fear isn't actually real. There is no threat. The fear is what keeps us seperated. The fear is total deception. Fear is what creates seperation. It stops us recognising we are God.

@Valach thank you 🫶 It touches close to the feeling of death. To be rejected and cast out from a clan, group or community, prior to modernity - could very well mean certain death. Survival fears triggered. But I wish to point toward something also - the fear. Is there really anything to fear at all there?

But why is that terrifying? Do you think you can ever totally know someone? Truly?

What is so terrifying about being vulnerable and it not being received well? Does it have to do with the person expressing vulnerability? Or does it have more to do with the other who rejects? Or timing?

Appreciate the share and appreciate you! I haven't drawn any conclusions yet. But I'll spend some time listening on my lunchbreak tomorrow. I don't know much about frame control. No idea if I would be vulnerable to that. Although at a guess I would say there is a significant chance 😁 I'm faily confident with my intuition in general.

I haven't watched it - but I will. Thought I would share. Despite my issues with Jubilee and it's format (+turd moderation)... Discuss

What does seriously mean for you?

I'm listening to another conversation between him and Adam Lane Smith and I dislike what I hear. I don't think a rhetorical style where you tell someone how it is an effective way to communicate. It tends to shut down critical thinking and make the receiver feel unheard. I think this is just his un-integrated parts showing though. Truly listening to another may be an issue for him he is working on? Who knows. Overall I don't often choose to delve into someone's work who I don't feel embodies their teachings. I will listen and asses for sure, but I don't have an experience that makes me return - just me personally. Overall he isn't saying anything new for me, just rehashing a lot of existing content with the framing of masculinity. I think this is just me though. Less and less I find the masculine/feminine split very useful to understand interpersonal dynamics. I find it limiting. I wasn't always so, just recently. I don't discount biology at all, but people can't be boxed in. He's not for me - but I am glad he resonates with you. What hits home the most for you that he focuses on?

We got lots of aussie's reppin here ay? @Jacko Will check this out too. Cheers! TBH I don't trust nutrition labels let alone "MaDe In aUStrAlIa" "LoCAlly SoURCeD" I think data for nutrition breakdowns are bricked. Half the time if you know 1g carbs/protein = 4cal, 1g fat = 7cal and work out the energy content from there, it doesn't even equal the total reported on the package! I don't trust labels reports at all.

@Ulax That's all good, this is a cringe thread so it fits the theme. Was genuinely more just to check you are all good - as it was more a pattern of posting and not related to the turbo-cringe here

Relentless is a strong word I'll cop that - I just notice a change in your posts. Drop in content and a lot more sarcasm. Some trolly behaviour. Last few days. I suppose this is more a post out of concern and not me worried about shitting on a stupid cringe thread

@Ulax You can stop the relentless sarcasm, trolling and baiting now. Your posts have gotten slightly deranged?

Neutral sharing of content is apparently a heuristic for knowing a lot of shit about that person and their views. @Willy Phallicus Your rhetoric and general attitude is wanting. You lack grace.

Also not sure why - I really had a lot of trouble listening to the talk linked. Naftali Moses, correct? This is just my cold vibe based read; he seems very unhealed. Very knowing. Very full. I felt like he was very attached to the role he was playing of the 'giver of advice, solutions' and I also sensed a bit of a saviour complex. I sense emotional avoidance within HIM, actually. Inability to go into victim. I feel like he may be fixated on control. Not sure why I felt this way. He seemed very shut down to alternative explanations to the ones he was presenting. He did not ask questions to explore the interviewers thinking and how she arrived at the conclusions she did. He simply told her his narrative was correct. Not sure, I felt something was off.

There's a huge difference between dating/courting and being in a committed relationship. Two distinct phases. If you are dating for 5 years and have not moved past this phase - I think something is amiss. All relationships progress, evolve and change. Nothing remains the same. So there are 3 moving parts here - You as a person (that changes), your partner (also changes) and the relationship (also changes and evolves). At any one time, all three elements will need varying levels of care and attention. I am personally of the opinion one should not be 100% vulnerable and open from the outset. When you are getting to know someone, it is a slow process. Our of necessity it probably won't be deep straight away. Like with small-talk - you are exchanging pennies back and forth. You don't know if you want to invest yet. As you continue to exchange pennies, you might decide to throw a dollar on the table and see how that goes - there's a bit more risk? But it's strategically calculated. No risk - no reward. After some time you realise it might be worth putting in a solid amount. But you can't know this straight away. You vet the person. You dance around them for a time - learning boundaries, navigating each other. You slowly learn about that person and update your model of them and decide if the relationship is worth it to continue opening up. You do not know this person. It takes (in my opinion) years to know someone. And even then, I would never claim to know someone in totality. People can totally surprise you. Once a safe bond has been developed with strong pillars of respect, individual autonomy, mutual care and affection - the gateways to real intimacy can form. Communication. Being seen. Being understood. Being loved and cared for. Feeling the ultimate connection with other. Breaking down the barriers between each party but still recognising each other as sovereign and residing in the CHOICE to be together. Why do we view a slow vetting and opening up as some form of self betrayal - why is this not living our truth? After all, it is still you. All of it is you. Labelling anything '"fake" or "inauthentic" can be a rejection (and mostly is) of some part of ourselves.... This is a really important question. Are you comfortable operating with strong boundaries? Are we comfortable relating to others without going straight to our most vulnerable parts? Is it all - or nothing? There is a real tension here where most people aren't comfortable operating outside this all or nothing belief: either we reveal everything and we have a "real connection" or I stay guarded - and the relationship is shallow. Fake. Good boundaries and vetting make deeper intimacy possible - safety is established. Less risk of being emotionally triggered. Clarity. No early overinvesting. Slow authenticity means we can safely reach the depths of the other person without risk they will reject our most vulnerable parts. Good boundaries mean we can hold space for the other person to be vulnerable; we aren't betraying any part of ourselves to be there in real connection with another. We aren't giving up attraction, or autonomy, or our sense of self. How are we identifying if someone is "higher consciousness" ? Is this even accurate? Is there a flaw in what we are looking for, that is blinding us to the potential in others? Mostly people view emotional openness, spiritual vocabulary, non-judgemental language, confidence/charisma and displays of vulnerability as higher consciousness. None of these actually indicate psychological maturity or wisdom. People speak eloquently about love, wholeness and unity and repeatedly violate boundaries. Ultimately - I vet others actions against their words. And actions can only be assessed through a slower and longer term relational attitude than words. Talk is cheap. Actions marrying up to words communicates integrity and truth. A higher consciousness person to me, has high integrity. I look for compatibility, communication, integrity and aligned values. These are ingredients that I can work with so we can see what we can cook up together. You won't ever be certain you will create a delicious dessert - abandon this. Just see what comes out and make sure the ingredients are there in the quantities you require. I don't need the person to be spiritual. I enjoy contrast. They need to be willing to grow. Compromise. No one will ever be perfect. They don't need to tick all our boxes. Explore contrasting people. Integrity and truth is not just something that happens between us. It happens within us. When we say we will do something, and don't do it. We lie to ourselves. We are dishonest to our values - and even if we don't openly acknowledge this, we are subconsciously communicating to ourselves "I am worthless" even if the thought never arrives. Self integrity and truth in this arena is far less common than anyone perceives. If you aren't operating from truth (words + actions aligning) you are lying to yourself and continually communicating to yourself through action you are worthless. Assess yourself for co-dependency. Consider that jumping in too quickly with vulnerability is an addiction to emotional high. Chasing states. Addictions happen within us - as well as outside us. This is not love. This is really garbled and stream of consciousness writing - I make no edits or revisions. Apologies if it doesn't answer or is a bit loopy / repetitive. I felt like whatever came out as it is was more authentic and then questions can follow. I also missed a few talking points, this isn't an exhaustive take on the topic. It is huge.

@Raze oh god. I feel cringe in the back of my neck and shoulders as a sensation. Weird. The silence when he was done 🥹

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZVjSumx3aE/?igsh=cGIyeWs3c3k5bWMz He's a sweaty flesh mound

*cringe intensifies*

@Ramanujan I've always been into it for as long as I can remember... I've always been overly concerned with existential matters of the self, how I can be better, suffer less. Become more conscious I was most aware I was like this since around 11 or 12 years old. If I had to say - since then.

Not to be blunt - but losing your health will do it. By force, if you cannot manage a gratitude and appreciation practice. The software apps you write - do others use them? That is how you are connecting with other humans, despite how nebulous it may seem. It is just that you may not get to directly experience how you affect them. You may never know 🙏🏻 but you can visualise: I get caught up in monkey survival games also. I spend some days informing contractors all day their work is shit. They are behind. I can't pay them because of xxx not done. It's a lot of bad news. No's. Dissappointing people. Negotiating. Stress. Plans read wrong, walls not plumb. Then the hospital is built. I see women getting breast scans to diagnose and treat cancer and save lives. ICUs where COVID patients were treated and infection prevention stopped spread, ICAs that stop mentally ill people killing themselves or hurting others. Dialysis centres where diabetes is treated. Pathologies where ED blood tests are run that save lives in a snap. I see how my troubles help others. It makes it all worth it. Those people get to live a bit longer, a bit better. One more sunrise. One more sunset. I can't see any of that in the middle of the monkey game. When I'm ordering 20 doors, frames and praying the hardware is all good. Looking at pages of specs and plans to find one detail so I don't loose $20k. The only way I make it through some days is to sit and visualise the building completed. The sunrise and set above it. And people leaving, after receiving treatment, going home to see their families. Gratitude and appreciation is the only way. Find connection. All goodness comes from connection. The more you mindfully remind yourself, the more you inner narrative will change. Reframe ❤️ the smallest actions can have huge impact - butterfly effect.

“People talk about how much energy it takes to train an AI model – but it also takes a lot of energy to train a human,” - Sam Altman

@Ulax you little shit Sides in orbit lol