Natasha Tori Maru

More on the side characters: Marc Gafni

@Someone here I am glad to facilitate understanding Much of what I wrote is elaborating on what Leo communicates, but it is reworded. Sometimes it just needs to be said differently for different people. A lot of suffering. The details aren't needed, but I have been through some very bad things. It might be helpful to know I am almost 40 now, and the spiritual process has been going on within me since my teens. Darkness had me as her lover for a good 15-20 years. The work is, well, work. No shortcuts. Many mistakes. Lots of learning. While you are shedding huge amounts of self-trash, the process is really scary. It is very destabilising. Most people reach for spirituality to ease suffering and transcend (or maybe they want meaning) - they try to learn something new - but the path is not actually about building something new. Not about building a new concept on how to be or see. One other element - you have to seriously care for your body. Take that very seriously. Sleep, food, water. Balance. Movement. Even just walking contemplation - my favourite and most delicious type! It is about the pristine marble YOU already are - you are chipping away at it, revealing the sculpture already inside. It's not nihilistic at all, it is about truly experiencing reality and exploring it all. Minus all the shit. You are uncovering. Subtracting everything that's not it. You are going to encounter many paradoxes along the way - natural. The caveat here is - this is just my personal experience

@Princess Arabia Yes this is actually a skill only masters have, in general. All my skill has come from endless copies, repetition. I learn the form. Then from my mind I can create. However, most artist still use reference material as a base. Its a skill born of repetition - most things are really. It's just that most people don't stick with problems long enough. All the greats really stuck with problems and didn't let them go. Always good to remember - drawing from reference is still artistic creation. It's your direct, personal interpretation of what you are perceiving. Regardless of the source. I will add on I had a genetic gift for art and motor skill from my grandfather. But repetition is key. Without execution talent means zero. Here's another one - not finished. Peregrine falcon - the fastest creature on earth. I am going to collage this over images of all different bird feathers in unusual configurations:

Her styling is so odd - I perceive her as looking so old, but also young.

*trauma intensifies*

@Princess Arabia This is really good - hands are one of the most difficult things to render! I start with cylinders and try to link them up. Feet are equally as troublesome for me

@CARDOZZO This question made me think a lot. I am not loyal to any one mentor, but I have listened/read/studied most - Allan Watts, Peter Ralston, Sadhguru, Eckhart Tolle, Teal Swan (more interpersonal domain), Leo Gura. All at different steps in my journey, particular teachers have resonated more than others. At each interval I took some knowledge, but always empirically tested and acted out the 'doing' in reality. Sometimes the truth I revealed acted in conflict with what was being communicated. Its very difficult to be sure if I misunderstood, or if the teaching wasn't right. Lots of reflection is needed. There is also a strong element to my process of repetition. I return to works or teaching I previously walked through over and over. And over. Really important to separate the mentor from the method. The art, from the artist. The concept of the person gets in the way. As you go into this work you also realise some things cannot be communicated. So they aren't spoken of. Sort of why they say YOU need to discover truth. Otherwise it is a belief. The questions people ask on this forum tell you were they are at in their spiritual path. So you see many people on this forum for example - they can conceptualise God, God realisation. Infinity. Intellectualise it. But they ask questions about it that imply they didn't actually have direct experience. Just an example. The questions you ask are more important than the answers. I digress...

@MsNobody I do - but construction I use it as an analogy a lot because it is ripe with great metaphor and simile! Its also a corrupt industry - to the core. I know all the sneaky ways to be corrupt in this industry. I've played the game myself to survive. Throwing glitter on the shit Yes, Aubrey is really something else. Fascinating to witness the ego there

It is highly humorous isn't it? You are trying to reach something that is a concept, it isn't real - perfection. But you really really believe it. All of society is telling you it is real. It only exists as a social construct. When you sit and look at a sunrise and have an experience. Direct. Eyes sensing colour, nose smelling the salt of the sea, ears hearing the gulls. That is where the truth is. Just you, being. You aren't inserting in any weird narrative about the sunrise 'If it were JUST to the left, it would look better, more perfect!' That's an example of you inserting your survival based agenda - the self - into the experience. And you do this all over the place! Its what you are taught from the age you become self aware. Even meditating, stopping thought... You do it to try to reach enlightenment, awakening... THATS ALSO AN IDEA THAT ISN'T REAL. Until you EXPERIENCE it - then it is TRUTH. Direct experience. The more you engage in this process the more is revealed. Things are revealed you won't expect. You bring wonder and awe back to your experience of Maya. It's key to realise to have this true direct experience you need to be OUT in the WORLD. Doing shit. Experiencing. Work. Play. Walk. Listen. Do those chores. Wash the dishes. Sink into the mundane because there is more to get out of that experience that you have blocked out. This leads to actualization. Authenticity. And hey - I know all about truth in the material domain. I work in construction. Brutal. You do anything untruthful and the building collapses and kills people. You execute. It's an experience and it becomes so easy once your self is moved out of the way. No hesitation to give hard facts - your self isn't there to care if you upset anyone. No worry about shit going wrong with a plan, that is a concept and not real... until it is. THEN it comes into truth and you deal with it. And you don't panic, because there isn't a stupid narrative about 'how did I fuck up?' There is just - truth, and fixing. Doing. Action. Sorry for the rant, I am trying to express how consciousness work assists in your career, in my career, in reality. It will help you execute in a way you didn't think was possible. Some of this might sound obvious to some, but it needs to be said. Because the social domain and survival is a literal cataract over your direct experience of events, things...

Adding in that a lot of the pain you think you feel is the fear of it itself. The internal friction - that is a narrative you generate as part of the self. Fear is always at the centre You will begin to reveal you are mixing in a lot of pain with suffering. 2 different things

To my understanding pain and suffering are 2 different things. If you have actively been practicing spirituality and self enquiry, you reveal that any narrative or story you have is a layer between your experience of a defined thing or event, and what is really truly happening. That layer is the lense of obscurity you are trying to lift to reveal the truth. Lift off the self of obscurity. The self that is full of stories about the past, the self that dwells in the future and removes you from the experience of right now (the only thing that exists). Notice you can't have a physical experience of the past or future. Only a mental one. Past future are not part of direct experience. Are not truth. Feelings - pain - are real. Nerves stimulates to generate pain. Emotions are something self generated. Suffering is something you generate as part of your narrative of self. You endure it. Notice you can point to pain..can you point to suffering? Where? Point to the suffering. Most emotions are generated through the beliefs, stories and narratives of the 'self' which you are aiming to move aside to find what you TRULY are. Notice animals don't have these narratives. Have you seen a 3 legged dog? There is one at my regular dog park. They don't give a fuck. They don't even register that a leg is missing. But it's a serious disability. They run around not bothered in the slightest. Notice there is no narrative going on to generate the negativity, generate the suffering. The spiritual process is about realising the beliefs you have, the stories, the narratives. Ideas. Thoughts. THEY generate these types of emotions. And you are really doing them. Trust me. Thoughts don't just come. They aren't inherent to experience. You can experience and 'be' without thoughts. You are doing the thoughts that generate the narrative causing suffering. So it is self generated. You meditate. You contemplate. You practice. Move the body. All so you can realise you are thinking. And your aim is to stop. Kill the chatter. In this space is experience, unfettered. The lense is removed. Consciousness is raised, and the truth of your nature is revealed. Removing the self 'no self' isn't negative. It's not about being out of the body. It's about removing your story, removing YOUR crap. So you see the truth. Because I guarantee you are getting in your own way. Notice when you lie in life, why? When you don't tell the truth? It's because you want something. You, the self, want something and don't tell the truth to achieve that. You are doing this allllll over the place in reality. You could be telling yourself that rock you passed in the street is a rock. That's a concept. But maybe it's actually a crystal! But your narrative told you otherwise. When you see the truth of the rock, consciousness is raised. Indeed Ralston does teach a lot of this. I hope this made sense for suffering. I haven't had a coffee yet so brain is still booting up 🙃 Leo might be able to break it down better. If you haven't read 'The Book of Not Knowing' by Ralston I seriously recommend it Meditation numbs physical pain. I have experienced this. You could say women suffer pain their monthly cleansing. This is when I meditate most as a stronger method than painkillers

You can endure the pain/suffering of the discipline, when you are pursuing your personal meaning. Finding that meaning is it. Once you unlock it, the pursuit becomes the pleasure.

@Carl-Richard Do you know what the doctors used in the procedure? I always just pour hydrogen peroxide in & wait THE SATISFYING SIZZLE

Conspirituality - Those who engage in spiritual process that is false, conning themselves as to what spirituality is. Survival Cataracts - Those who have layers of belief/concepts/ideas about the world, obscuring them from the truth of themselves. Spiritual Chemotherapy - The real spirituality. The big dog spirituality. Mental breakdown levels of mind reconfiguration.

@Leo Gura Fucking. DISGUSTING. Goddam Leo People juice

... what is IN that cup to create such a visceral reaction from the cat As an aside @Rafael Thundercat I did watch the link... ngl I couldn't help but laugh when Aubrey said 'he had done a bit of work around the issue' and that maybe 'he thinks there is a little more to go, maybe' (paraphrasing) The ego is cemented in place, fully entrenched with rebar and footing for reinforcement.

@Leo Gura It's fucken' true though - Aubrey wants his little spiritual PES-dispenser of women

I noticed that... Let us say -the conscious- reaction video Leo could have just slapped that label on it for excessive views I will say - that whole situation was a great case study to illustrate false spirituality. They want spiritual ice-cream, not the true spiritual chemotherapy !

@Anton Rogachevski Not confirmed, but I think that part of the website is broken atm

@Sucuk Ekmek I see a shoreline, receding to a vanishing point. Waves meeting the land, as the sunset illuminates two craggy outcrops as they meet the sea. I do not know if this is the subject - if it is, you captured it well! The colours of the sunset replicating on the rocks are exactly how light behaves. If it is not the subject - it doesn't matter, as it brings forth concepts of beauty, regardless

Finished, enjoyed. Back to the heart of the matter. Real spirituality. Not knowing. Throw away concepts/ideas. Verify ones personal truth. Realise how your beliefs interfere with your ability to truly be present, grounded in experience. Reveal God. The experience and presence of God is always here, we just aren't seeing it due to survival and the need for certainty. It's quite ironic that people are screaming for certainty (certainty here being a subjective form of truth) in survival based life - and so seek spirituality to inform this certainty. But truly engaging with the spiritual process is dislodging this certainty - the self - and removing ego. Doing the exact opposite of what they seek. A great destabilising destruction of the self only to be reset. I think this is the part of the process most are not prepared for... I personally feel this is not to be confused with depersonalisation. Being OF the body/within the body is fundamental to being able to interact in a relative way to the distinctions of reality. That feedback is important. Through the spiritual process in the end, you become more resolved, sink in to Maya - because the certainty of Truth is the ultimate salve. Raising the consciousness to encapsulate more than the self.

@Carl-Richard I think you will enjoy this one Carl! Survival - the selfs attempt to drive to certainty. Alleviate fear. Certainty is the aim. Spirituality is acting in friction to this survival self - diving into uncertainty. Dislodging all those concepts and ideas we form in an attempt to gain certainty. Becoming uncertain again. Getting the self out of the way - like lifting the 'self' cataract off the iris so we can directly experience reality and truth. This goes into how real spirituality can be destabilising, terrifying and scary. Like a rewind to the uncertainty of infancy. I haven't finished the ep yet.

@Florian Hmmmm yes yes which is why I added the 'not sure' as I do not know what is best for others 🙏 I just know for myself I take health and maintaining homeostasis - and increasing the overall energy of the balanced state, as no1. At it's core it is energy balance. Constantly going out and back in balance. Neverending process. Nonstop process. Until death hahahaha ! Live healthy, well... Hopefully die fast

Would you you find the statement 'experience is omnipresent' to summarise this nicely?

I am with you and I LIKE it Maybe just, consciousness