Natasha Tori Maru

@RisingLane becoming a recursive fractal vicarious universe 🤪

God. Can you imagine milking a kangaroo? Those legs. Skulls would be caved in These contemplations are not welcome in my experience 😆

Yeah damn, forgot to add that. And warcraft.

@Ishanga @theleelajoker @BlessedLion @Bjorn K Holmstrom Thank you - I appreciate all the alternate views and feedback. @theleelajoker you are on point 🙏 @Ishanga I can see the overlap with what Sadhguru teaches here, I stumbled upon my own weird interpretation and it appears to align across the board with a lot of other teachings 😊 @BlessedLion it's always both isn't it? Empty and full. Inside and outside. All of this work is running into constant paradox which really emphasises how there is some higher intelligence and the mind fails with its concepts. @Bjorn K Holmstrom trust and surrender were key to getting to a point of flow in my work. It was a gradual process of integrating and cleaning up. Slowly, slowly I found myself in a state of effortlessness as I went deeper into trust and surrender - which was the total opposite of my previous modus operandi! @Joshe I am not really non-dualist. Maybe that describes my state? I am not sure what words can assist you from me, as I perceive you to be locked within the constructs of the mind. I couldn't understand where I am from, on an intellectual level. Trust and surrender might be the biggest next steps for you in process. Thoughts happen and make my work happen, but without attachment to outcome, a lot of the mischievous attachment and emotional angst the ego introduces are absent. I have no control at all. I just act when I should - which goes back to @Ishanga's post. This is why it feels effortless like the body just does it - my energy is no longer wasted in judgements from the ego. I am not 'cant wait to get his done so I can go home' 'need to do this because I am anxious' 'dont like this task' 'cant wait for lunchbreak'. There is no resistance to experience. There is preference to some experience that makes me who I am. But no judgement and resistance because experience feels like it happens through me. I cannot judge myself. I think you get to a stage where you understand you need to be in touch with the wisdom to know when to act, and when to wait. And it does feel as if there is a higher order of things that one taps into to participate in this process. You simply take action to arrange circumstances to increase the probability of a desired outcome. When I look at a building successfully constructed and handed over - I do not really recognise I did that. It was just a set of happenings that lead to it. I just took action when I should.

I am no apple fan, I dislike how the system locks me out of customisation (I more of a tech power user than ease of use ecosystem type). I also dislike how the ecosystem doesn't play nice with other systems. BUT I can really appreciate Jobs and his vision. I often listen to his interviews on YouTube for inspiration. Great orator. I listen to his interviews when I have a stubborn client who's expectations I need to manage. In that case I need to pull the clients expections into alignment with my vision - which takes grace, confidence, drive and absolute certainty on my own vision and capability 😊 forcing the client never works. I have to seduce them into my vision.

Many games these days do not draw me in like previously. Occasionally I come across a banger that reverts me to the primordial slime troll/troglodyte I truly am 😈

I think most of my favourites revolve around the people/community I played with, rather than the game itself... But in no particular order: Zelda games: Ocarina of time, Majora's Mask, BOTW, TOTK Mario Kart, Goldeneye, Spiro, World of Warcraft, Diablo + Diablo II, Bioshock I & II, Portal, Age of Empires I, II (fuk you, I'll priest convert your whole shit), Resident Evil 4, Counter Strike (I spammed net cafes when it was just the half life 2 mod), PUBG, Dark Souls, Fallout, Mirrors Edge, GTA IV, Metroid Prime, Tekken 3, Skyrim, Quake, Metal Gear Solid series... There's more but that's just off the top of my head. I used to have some issues with videogames ... Especially WoW. I stand in judgement! I sorta think a lot of my resilience and persistent drive in life was honed and crafted via early gaming experiences. I just treat life like a video game on hard mode, no walkthroughs, cheat codes. Diablo nightmare mode

Oh! I do skip days ☺️ I would say I run 3/4 mornings a week. Long, slow nature walks in between and sometimes some biking on the single speed along the river. I am addicted to to movement and how much it elevates my mood. But not any old movement - it has to be in the bushlands ☄️ There's something that running does to my mind... I cannot describe it. Amazing for cognitive stuff. And I consistently come up with the best creative solutions to problems and issues on longer runs. I cannot recommend it enough ❤️

We would need to delete the current societal systems 💀 Here - have a merry Christmas tiger snek from my merry Christmas run! 😁 He was sunbaking right where my feet were about to say hello to the earth....

Then why are you posting? This is a reach for feedback, no? It's not about being perfect. Shit my head is spinning - there's a lot of cognitive dissonance here and I guarantee you that is causing a lot of bad feeling emotions. Even if you aren't aware of them. Been there.

So we are responsible for how we react? You evade an answer because this hits on the bias. Slippery. I was shaped by myself, my actions and my responses. And I chose to react this way. Conditioning is definitely present. But it is not the whole story. And to paint it as such is a limited view. My force of will meant that despite being attractive, I never treated this as a value. I never judged another person for how they looked. I treated all equally. Not all attractive women are as you say. The world is not so black and white. Perfectionist and polarised thinking can be a flaw as everything is nuanced somewhat. I do not take offence you may choose to fight, dislike or hate me for being born a certain way. This has nothing to do with me. But I am saddened by you viewing everything as an enemy 😕 Can you see how you would reject open connection from a women if you maintain this judgement?

Merry Christmas ❤️(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Do you think you have any choice or agency in how you act to influence change? I want you to see how this can feed into victim mindset.

So you are saying we have no choice in the matter - regarding how we react?

@Hojo is a man. He has revealed the bias you have.

Are these women responsible for how they look? Or responsible for their actions? This is a distinction you need to be clear on, to break free of the burden of these judgements.

I do eat rice occasionally! I forgot to add that Wheat seems to give me joint pain. I suspect this is genetic as my father gets this symptom from wheat products. I feel it terribly when I run. I do eat pasta, bread and rice on occasion. It is just rare - and I do get mild bloating from these products. Hard to say if it is from the extreme processing, the type of food, or just some other human alteration we make to it that is the cause... So I find it cleaner to eliminate mostly

I'm gonna sound elitist; while I have nostalgia and love old games (and new) - I find the younger gaming generation aren't very resilient, persistent or able to seriously use games as a problem solving learning platform. Maybe it's just anecdotes, but every one of the genZ and Alpha bros I play with get frustrated and stuck. Turn shit off or immediately look for walkthrough or cheat codes. They won't stick with a problem long enough to engage their brain - they just want to get rid of frustration as soon as possible. Could just be a certain type of gamer I am seeing more often these days though. I never had any of that shit available - walkthroughs/tips would come from a book or hearsay. I think gaming back then actually improved my brains ability to work with problems and build resilience....

And then you get the peckerhead mates who cheat, staring at the split screen in multiplayer https://youtu.be/qoWCB8AUiP4?si=yBc_p5BgLA8KKHLK

Thank you for you contributions all! (⁠*⁠❛⁠‿⁠❛⁠)⁠→❤️ And thank you fellow moderators and Leo, for the free help, support & assistance running this place 🙏🙏🙏

Gut checked - yup 👍 I have many digestive issues (intolerances). In general; simply always been slightly nauseated in the morning. Fasting through has always suited me. Like yourself I enjoy the cognitive benefits 😁 Why does this seem so feral to me? I am picturing kangaroo milk being manually churned into butter... Imagine the taste. I've totally lost my appetite

Fuck breakfast 😈 I usually throw up if I eat within 2/3 hours of waking. I raw dog the morning

It might be worth it to sit and write out your beliefs - there are many here in this passage alone. Begin a really open enquiry into each one. What is it, where is came from. How does it make you feel? What happens in the body when you think about these things? You are somewhat anthropomorphising God - as Leo raised. Look into that projection 🙏

Ah! Okay - I am familiar with this. Prior to - shall we say - the 'resistance' to judging of experience, I used pressure to create solutions. Which you could supplant with 'friction required' - as you coin. The impulse I had previously came with an element of force (pressure, friction). And a latent, ever buzzing anxiety would hum in the background of my days at work. I bounced my focus of this anxiety to come up with creative solutions to problems that arise in the moment from the active construction site, and to planning builds with many latent conditions and unusual build phases. Hypervigilance was used to accomplish this. One day I had this experience of total stop. I guess a cessation? Experienced stopped having a center. I didn't seem to have experience - suddenly experience had me. I stopped judging experience. And with that, all resistance was removed. It seemed when problems arose on site (I work commercial construction as a project manager/estimator) I naturally attended to them, then returned to my previous task. I simply trusted I would be able to find the solution to any changing event. I looked at sequences and made changes to hopefully get to an outcome. I trusted I knew exactly what to do when a certain set of variables lined up to influence a positive outcome. Now that is all I do - watch and act to influence the outcome I need. I no longer get anxious about the outcome - I feel it is out of my control. The attachment to the outcome was removed which produced an equanimous state even at work. Because I stopped feeling as if I was the center of my experience, I no longer looked at some tasks as good, bad, fun, boring. The tasks just got done by the body. I had no where else I wanted to be. If I had to wash the dishes or file some invoices - it was an experience free of judgement and so, welcome. Having said that, I operate from that state at work 90% + of the time now. It feels like I am not doing anything - like I do not make a direct decision. My hands just type the emails they need to. Take off quantities as needed with the mouse. Call those who need information. Order on such a date so as to hopefully have materials on a date. There are times I slip out from this state back into a distortion of experience back to my force driven way of being. But these are less and less. And when it does happen - I backtrack and pay attention to what put me in that state as a way to identify where in my process I am contracting. I 'work' (dissolve?) these contractions. But not dissolve ego. After all - even if the ego is an illusion, we cannot kill something that didn't exist in the first place I suppose ego is like the moon - it is illuminated. But it is an illusion that appears to have light. The light is from the sun. The moon is present and shines in brilliance - but it is an illusion. I suppose the above answers: Most of the time - yes! Especially in estimating where not only do I quote large medical refits and science facilities - but gantt charts for the construction programs. And due to the nature of my work (medical construction) the program wins the bid in many cases. Operations and downtime are usually the top consideration when the work is state/federal. Money isn't as much of an issue. So creative solutions are how we win bids. I think I used to fear that without my ego I would not have the compulsion to achieve. But seeing through it arose effortlessness that enabled me to achieve and do so much more without the mind wasting power that came with resistance, anxiety & force. That energy now goes to the feeling of the body just - doing its thing. I digress and I may not have answered directly.... I enjoyed your question and the answer process though