Natasha Tori Maru

Realizing/seeing through the illusion doesn't make it any less real. The moon shining light is an illusion - it's not radiating light from itself as source like it appears to be. But it still seems as such and we do well to work with it in that manner. Imagine being in outback Australia under the bright, illuminating moonlight from a full moon, exclaiming 'I cannot see!!'. Refusing to walk in the bushland because you won't see the ground because the 'moonlight is an illusion.' This is what you sound like. Not that Leo needs defending - but like, why are you following him around trying to poke holes in what you think are issues with his conduct? It reads like you are personally offended at whatever level of integration you deem them to be at. It belies your own incomplete understanding - which is why your questions appear so redundant. You have the weirdest patterns of posting toward him. Just my perceptions. Feel free to disregard

@Bjorn K Holmstrom I like this - thank you. The beauty of intelligent design.

@Joshe I had a long think on how this process I engage in works and how I understand it integrating into reality and making shit happen. Or achieving shit, doing, succeeding etc. Went for a run for 60 minutes with this topic as my contemplation I think you are caught up a bit regarding the spiritual path, its progression and what is to come. There was, for me - in my experience, a clear path; growing up, learning concepts, mastery etc. And then - disintegration. Deconstruction. A build up, and a tear down. A relearning of what I had forgotten. Or a forgetting of all I had learnt. Both the same thing. I think the next steps on the path for you aren't clear - and your fear could be wrapped up in the uncertainty of the path yet walked. The potholes and rocks you cannot see below your feet, still in relative darkness. You are attempting to use the logical, thought driven & conceptual mind to 'see' the next steps. To project future outcomes and how things may play out. Hey - I may be wrong here - but I speak only to this because this used to be me, also. And so, with that preamble out of the way. I might move toward - what is a thought in your words, and understanding? Deconstructing this and launching into terrifying enquiry really turned me inside out on the path. Because I reached a point where I realized this is all mind. All mind. And that a thought is simply a contraction of energy. A wavering of consciousness. I movement of awareness. That is literally all I could bring myself to recognize is as. I soon made the connection that a thought - being a simple wavering/contraction of energy/mind - was no different to a chair. Or matter of any type. The constituents of a chair, broken down; wood, material, atoms, electrons, neutrons, quarks - all energy 'wavering', 'contracting', 'vibrating' at different levels. All forms of consciousness. All the same. All in unity. All infinite. I distinctly remember suddenly being aware I had no claim to my thoughts. My thoughts are the same as perceptions. As matter. As any other part of the reality we inhibit. The distinction broke down. So when I operate from a state of claiming 'I just do' or 'The body moves and does as it will' I do not necessarily claim I am not thinking - because all is mind, all is thinking, all is matter, all is perception. It is all the same shit to me. I simply no longer make claim to any thought. There is no effort. So all appears to rise as an impulse or instinct within the moment. I just act on what is highest priority. But it is not a conscious thing. It is a being thing. There is no distinction between thought or any anything else. It is all the same. So, thinking happens. Perceptions happen. Achievements are had. But not by me. By the intelligence behind consciousness. God, if you will. This is where trust and surrender come in. I know we have spoken on this in the past. I recall a lot of resistance to this from you. I perceive it is your identification with your intellect and thinking mind that is the block. Surrender and trust are what put you in alignment with the greater intelligence and flow behind effortless power. Anyway, maybe none of this will hit home - I surely do not mean this as an attack or lecture - merely to try to use words in a futile attempt to explain something that really cannot be explained with words unless you reside in the state of being. To experience truth.

🎯🧶 It has to be so, it couldn't be any other way. Fluid evolution. I am grateful you created this space ! (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

https://youtu.be/wlN7uXMGVjA?si=pxOnaJyCscP-05F1

Good morning @Ishanga! I recall clashing with you a few times when I first noticed a post like this from you, on these forums. I respect you a lot, and you always have many interesting views to add. Most of your spirituality crosses over with what other users and masters say - it is in the translating that many cannot see the overlap. This theme of rejecting the forum has been a constant thing for you. My questions for you when you leave would be: What draws you back here, again and again? It is clearly, to me, not desperation for connection or community. You often inject, what I perceive, feeling wise (from your posts, not your words); disgust. Contempt. Like the forum is a bad smell. Do you think this is worth thinking about and contemplating? If you are judging this place so harshly, there is something happening here that you feel you must not have, or do. Otherwise, you would not feel so okay to post along these themes. Perhaps you feel you do not have ego like those here? If you thought you had this, you wouldn't judge the forum so much because you would realise you are judging yourself as 'low consciousness'. And it would feel quite bad think that way about ourselves. I witness you engaging in egoic battles all over the forum - and here, this is my experience of you speaking. I am not judging you, because I engage in this manner also. But I think the forum is representing parts of yourself you have not claimed, so you feel okay rejecting it. Even this post is begging for engagement. If I were in your position, as is my typical way, I would simply disappear. No goodbye. You acknowledge there must be some addictive quality to this place - because you feel you need to post for personal accountability; but you have full sovereignty. I do notice you have personal issues with Leo - perhaps he represents ego which is unclaimed in you? Not sure. In any event, I do not mean this as an attack. Merely my observations looking at patterns of posting. And I suppose this could all be projection - because I have been through exactly the above. Many times, repeatedly. I do note that while on this forum everyone argues, clashes and has their beliefs challenged - you will always see us all laughing at each other within a post or two. Or in the next thread. Or agreeing in a seperate subsection. But then, laughter follows. I don't see this as much with you. You appear to not have fun here in this way. Simply an observation. I digress a a bit here... I mean no attack at all. I just feel maybe this might help with thinking on your experience here. Feel free to disregard! I think you should take a big break. @CARDOZZO did just that and had some good words. Maybe you will return, maybe not. But overall, I wish you peace, happiness and joy in your growth and seeking ❤️

Never said anything about what you are allowed or not allowed to do. Have a read of the post again. There is always a reason we post - what did you want to discuss if not to have your ideas challenged? And when they were challenged, it appeared you threw away rationality and doubled down. So I ask again - what is really at stake here?

Cannot comment on all the links, docs. Only my personal families report: it is shit. Indentured servitude.

Purest love

Poodle Merry Christmas love for all !

@RisingLane becoming a recursive fractal vicarious universe 🤪

God. Can you imagine milking a kangaroo? Those legs. Skulls would be caved in These contemplations are not welcome in my experience 😆

Yeah damn, forgot to add that. And warcraft.

@Ishanga @theleelajoker @BlessedLion @Bjorn K Holmstrom Thank you - I appreciate all the alternate views and feedback. @theleelajoker you are on point 🙏 @Ishanga I can see the overlap with what Sadhguru teaches here, I stumbled upon my own weird interpretation and it appears to align across the board with a lot of other teachings 😊 @BlessedLion it's always both isn't it? Empty and full. Inside and outside. All of this work is running into constant paradox which really emphasises how there is some higher intelligence and the mind fails with its concepts. @Bjorn K Holmstrom trust and surrender were key to getting to a point of flow in my work. It was a gradual process of integrating and cleaning up. Slowly, slowly I found myself in a state of effortlessness as I went deeper into trust and surrender - which was the total opposite of my previous modus operandi! @Joshe I am not really non-dualist. Maybe that describes my state? I am not sure what words can assist you from me, as I perceive you to be locked within the constructs of the mind. I couldn't understand where I am from, on an intellectual level. Trust and surrender might be the biggest next steps for you in process. Thoughts happen and make my work happen, but without attachment to outcome, a lot of the mischievous attachment and emotional angst the ego introduces are absent. I have no control at all. I just act when I should - which goes back to @Ishanga's post. This is why it feels effortless like the body just does it - my energy is no longer wasted in judgements from the ego. I am not 'cant wait to get his done so I can go home' 'need to do this because I am anxious' 'dont like this task' 'cant wait for lunchbreak'. There is no resistance to experience. There is preference to some experience that makes me who I am. But no judgement and resistance because experience feels like it happens through me. I cannot judge myself. I think you get to a stage where you understand you need to be in touch with the wisdom to know when to act, and when to wait. And it does feel as if there is a higher order of things that one taps into to participate in this process. You simply take action to arrange circumstances to increase the probability of a desired outcome. When I look at a building successfully constructed and handed over - I do not really recognise I did that. It was just a set of happenings that lead to it. I just took action when I should.

I am no apple fan, I dislike how the system locks me out of customisation (I more of a tech power user than ease of use ecosystem type). I also dislike how the ecosystem doesn't play nice with other systems. BUT I can really appreciate Jobs and his vision. I often listen to his interviews on YouTube for inspiration. Great orator. I listen to his interviews when I have a stubborn client who's expectations I need to manage. In that case I need to pull the clients expections into alignment with my vision - which takes grace, confidence, drive and absolute certainty on my own vision and capability 😊 forcing the client never works. I have to seduce them into my vision.

Many games these days do not draw me in like previously. Occasionally I come across a banger that reverts me to the primordial slime troll/troglodyte I truly am 😈

I think most of my favourites revolve around the people/community I played with, rather than the game itself... But in no particular order: Zelda games: Ocarina of time, Majora's Mask, BOTW, TOTK Mario Kart, Goldeneye, Spiro, World of Warcraft, Diablo + Diablo II, Bioshock I & II, Portal, Age of Empires I, II (fuk you, I'll priest convert your whole shit), Resident Evil 4, Counter Strike (I spammed net cafes when it was just the half life 2 mod), PUBG, Dark Souls, Fallout, Mirrors Edge, GTA IV, Metroid Prime, Tekken 3, Skyrim, Quake, Metal Gear Solid series... There's more but that's just off the top of my head. I used to have some issues with videogames ... Especially WoW. I stand in judgement! I sorta think a lot of my resilience and persistent drive in life was honed and crafted via early gaming experiences. I just treat life like a video game on hard mode, no walkthroughs, cheat codes. Diablo nightmare mode

Oh! I do skip days ☺️ I would say I run 3/4 mornings a week. Long, slow nature walks in between and sometimes some biking on the single speed along the river. I am addicted to to movement and how much it elevates my mood. But not any old movement - it has to be in the bushlands ☄️ There's something that running does to my mind... I cannot describe it. Amazing for cognitive stuff. And I consistently come up with the best creative solutions to problems and issues on longer runs. I cannot recommend it enough ❤️

We would need to delete the current societal systems 💀 Here - have a merry Christmas tiger snek from my merry Christmas run! 😁 He was sunbaking right where my feet were about to say hello to the earth....

Then why are you posting? This is a reach for feedback, no? It's not about being perfect. Shit my head is spinning - there's a lot of cognitive dissonance here and I guarantee you that is causing a lot of bad feeling emotions. Even if you aren't aware of them. Been there.

So we are responsible for how we react? You evade an answer because this hits on the bias. Slippery. I was shaped by myself, my actions and my responses. And I chose to react this way. Conditioning is definitely present. But it is not the whole story. And to paint it as such is a limited view. My force of will meant that despite being attractive, I never treated this as a value. I never judged another person for how they looked. I treated all equally. Not all attractive women are as you say. The world is not so black and white. Perfectionist and polarised thinking can be a flaw as everything is nuanced somewhat. I do not take offence you may choose to fight, dislike or hate me for being born a certain way. This has nothing to do with me. But I am saddened by you viewing everything as an enemy 😕 Can you see how you would reject open connection from a women if you maintain this judgement?

Merry Christmas ❤️(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Do you think you have any choice or agency in how you act to influence change? I want you to see how this can feed into victim mindset.

So you are saying we have no choice in the matter - regarding how we react?