Natasha Tori Maru

In terms of perspective - I just think this thread is about sharing experiences. Sex tends to naturally be loaded with insecurity, judgement and shame. Some of that is coming out. A lot of status and status seeking behaviour going on too

I love you guys lol I can't judge. I can be a right little shit 😁

@Basman I can smell when I'm burning fat from my piss (sorry if tmi lol). It has a really distinct smell 😅

You can't really summarise a whole person based on a few forum posts and make a generalised assessment. Too little data to go off. You don't really know anything about the user other than some intermittent interactions. Yes. You probably have! You can call out behaviour you think is poor. But the additional stuff like "no internal frame" again, we aren't magical mind readers. This just can't be accurately known or inferred from forum posts. The argument is invalid anyway. Everyone has an internal frame. It's just a perspective or context.

My body responds to that sort of defecit within 3-4 weeks. Discounting water loss initially. YMMV we all respond differently

How would you know it's the correct answer, even if you had one?

I am actually a fan of Bryan - people mistake my criticism for straight un-nuanced hate. I like his insane experiment and slightly deranged expressions. I do chuckle a bit when people think I just toss out the baby with the bathwater 😭 But for general health advice, I prefer others. His book though... It is funny you came to the conclusion his epistemology is childlike. I got further into the book and my main issue was his poor philosophy!

There are more possibilities, and people don't all respond to lack of content by seeking "acceleration".

Many, many people would freak out and possibly run (or have a lot of trouble dealing with the general vulnerability) when confronted with the reality of someone being truly present and open like that. I see people say that they want that. But it requires a level of exposure that forces us to step up and be better. That's a real challenge because it means claiming/admitting to all the shitty parts of ourselves. Facing them. Not always the case... But it's a damn good question!

The Chef arrives to serve the degustation menu - thanks HEAPS!

Haha - if conflict is an accepted certainty, then we have to make sure we increase our skills at effectively resolution!

@Jordan of the Shire The dynamic you describe is so so similar to how I have been experiencing drilling down into a relational understanding of others. I didn't foresee the function you describe - it leading to more receptivity from the person who feels understood. It is can effectively make them feel safe I guess! This ties into why I suspect relational understanding is key to women - and when men apply logical/analytical understanding it can lead to misunderstanding. Thinking the mechanism explains the person. Thinking we can understand someone's psychology via inference. Map (analytical understanding) vs territory (relational understanding). Explanation doesn't equate to understanding. It's really gathering more datapoints to work with (logical view haha) It has been a big recognition to me, as of late, that I was failing in this arena of relational understanding.

Same for me. I am aggressive with my reasoning and pushing it onto others. I can be very INSISTENT when I think I am right. I engage in a lot of absolute language that leaves no room for nuance. It can transmit that I have not thought something through critically (ie I am stating THIS IS THE THING, rather than "this could be a reason, and given this, it is likely to be"). I think by softening my rhetoric I not only have the message land better, but I actually stop more often and inspect other possibilities. So it sharpens my critical thinking at the same time. The forum is good for these skills. Maybe you are doing what I am doing above - altering rhetoric to have it transmuted to a clearer and more precise critical thinking assessment/ability? This appears to be the effect it has on me. It is a way of raising consciousness if you think about it

A lot of karma was resolved. Claiming and owning our poor behaviour stops us resisting the truth, and the feeling of shame dissolves very rapidly. In a flash. Resist or deny that behaviour and we create a bad relationship to it/our emotions - this is where Ralston's unnecessary suffering comes into it. How we relate to emotions, feelings and thoughts. That's the unnecessary suffering we can affect. Your forum use has let you sit in more of your authenticity, in my opinion. Just from reading your interactions over time. Your expression is evolving. I know. It is so difficult too because others are snap quick to psychologically profile (it is actually magical thinking this "mind reading"). People never stop to ask more questions "what exactly do you mean by this and this?" they reply to what they think they understand and then... TRIGGER RAGE Just ask more questions before thinking you know - half the problem!

@LordFall I sort of like getting triggered by my interactions with you though, not gonna lie! I don't mean that in a bad way at all. More like "oh shit, im triggered! there's something there I need to look at!" You were one of the biggest characters on the forum that made me realise one of my biggest triggers is being misunderstood. Probably my largest trigger. Because when you look at our interactions and debating style - you are really direct in how I see your argument style: Claim > counterclaim > evidence > defend position > challenge opponents reasoning > interprets opponents objection. Pure logical and clean analysis. I think I do more of Claim > underlying assumption > epistemic standard assessment > relational dynamic > assess how the interaction is functioning. Also - I have a tendancy to make a broad claim that isn't accurate to my meaning - I then narrow it to my intentional meaning. This can look like I am sidestepping. It's me just not being precise the first time. So when that happens between us, I think I am maddening for you to speak to because I go for everything underneath the argument and then look at how that is known - while also attending to how I personally relate. So I am often not sticking with analytical logic only. I think this ends up in arguments dissolving into being misunderstood or looking like aversion. Combine that with me often not wanting to push my assessment onto the other person (sometimes I don't want to state my opinion as I don't want to influence someones thinking in a negative way - which is egoic in itself) - I want them to inspect their thinking in a rather pedagogical way/method. This style simply fails in some engagements Anyway I am glad this clears some air - in a sex thread of all things! Sorry for any clashes and reactions I may have had with you.