Natasha Tori Maru

@LordFall Fucken DAPPER

Do you repeat outfits? Exact same several days in a row? Find one or two that work and repeat? Or do you have a style that has essential basics but you rotate accessories? Or do you find something that works and purchase multiple of that item in differing colours? TELL ME! I am a chronic outfit repeater; I find a couple of items that work as a basic template and alternate one or two small elements. I am completely unbothered repeating an outfit 3 days in a row, exactly the same (provided it is clean). I don't want to think too much. Just slap something on I know works and go. I dislike shopping for clothes. I wear a lot of black. Special occasions I deviate. But day to day I don't give a shit if it's the same all week INTJ if that factors in

Majestic creatures ⚡ I've done equine therapy twice. There's an amazing connection horses have to humans. I feel tethered to them in an unusual way. Similar to dogs.

Rofl my god. I used to spend every summer on a farm until 16. Horse cock up close is no joke. I reckon that would perforate me 😅

Framing deceitfulness as inherently part of the female nature, as opposed to just HUMAN nature ... Is really hurtful. Why?

If this "biological need to spread the seed" were a real proven thing, wouldn't men be more frequently and enthusiastically skeeting into cups and donating to sperm banks? 🙃

Orthodox Jewish Conformity @Vynce thanks for the share ! @Leo Gura conformity is your enemy is it? I try to keep my relationship with conformity strictly professional: the fucker keeps trying to manage me, and I keep submitting variations 😈😈😈 Thanks for the blog post

Hmmm, this discussion seems to be presenting a distinction between authenticity and competence. I can see that simply being genuine doesn't automatically make the way you express yourself socially effective. You can authentically express insecurity, neediness, avoidance, poor boundaries, or social cluelessness. A la @Olaf's angle. But I also agree with the argument that consciously learning a skill doesn't necessarily mean you're being fake. A beginner musician might consciously think about technique; an expert eventually embodies it and no longer experiences it as technique.

@Emerald cheers. To be clear I do not disagree with you, this is more questions surrounding your model. I think subjective access and empirical generalisability are two different things I note you use the phrase "tactics" - but what if you replaced that with "expertise". One could easily phrase it in another way to be more palatable to women. So instead of "he used tactics to increase attraction" it becomes "he used expertise to increase attraction". Because eventually, using methods and frames for attraction, the aim would be to accumulate enough wisdom for expertise to be reached via the frame "training wheels". And the purpose of applying the tactics would be to reach expertise. The frame / method being discarded later.

What could I say to falsify this? I ask because I can definelty agree with all of these explanations (especially the special snowflake point, the most common one used on me, which I think can be valid but is poor argumentation). But the model of behaviour here seems to say "anyone who disagrees, is further evidence for my theory". I get sketchy when I model is self sealing like this. How do you see a way out to an alternative that the model doesn't fit?

Definitely could explain it. It could also be the thing being critiqued - men using mechanisms to explain dynamics or analyse women, is the exact thing being done in reverse - in your post you analysed and applied a mechanism to the explain behaviour of men. Maybe the resistance to your view wasn't the accuracy of it, but the method engaged. Psychoanalysis of others tends to turn them against me when I do it - the truth of the message gets lost.

@KosmicGeng mbti is a bit pseudosciencey to me. A useful frame on occasion. A curious lens. I view MBTI as how we process information and make decisions. Enneagram more what we are psychologically trying to avoid, secure, or protect. Deeper.

@Joshe remarkable how similar the growth process you describe is, to my own. Jesus. I think I am heavy Te - but it's all expressed in construction and my work. I tend to flirt with it less so in cognitive realms like philosophy, metaphysics or forum dialogue. It may not be manifesting here because it is spent in real life? But also, I am a woman, and socialised to prioritise feelings and group cohesion. So I have had certain other functions beaten in to me, so to speak. I don't mind being wrong really. But for me, the stupid Ni can shift frames to mean so many things can be looked at as right/wrong! Not all. The forum is low stakes, so being wrong here is okay. Being wrong on my takeoff for a hebel cladding estimate could fold my business though.... So it's fair to say that risk assessment may be happening subconsciously. Lucky I am decisive as fuck. Which is also why I am okay being wrong too - I make decisions based on what limited information I have. If it's wrong I am all good taking responsibility. If you are anything like me with emotions though, sometimes I just get charged up and dig my heels in. Which is out of alignment to my normal rational self. Which is all humans really 😁 and also why I try to not explain someone's psychology or pathologise them with my elaborate internal mechanistic explanations. Maybe they were just having a bad day! Maybe I should try break my Ni with Si for a bit, instead of going meta meta into recursive nightmares (which is incidentally why I think you and I zoom all over the shop with conversation, it's in an infinite recursion happening in real time). Enjoyed the chats I think I understand you better, rather than just explain behaviour ⚡

This passage is interesting to me. If expressing yourself in this way is "authentic" expression, but it causes offense and runs up against a value (in this case harmony, unintended alienation) was it really authentic expression? If our authenticity is violating a value, it seems to me something may NOT be authentic and expressed as truth. Maybe it points to something unintegrated that is yet to be revealed (IE on our unconscious awareness). And once we find that truth within us, connect to it, our authentic expression won't contradict one of our values. Authenticy is a complex topic - and it relates to values. When we feel like expression is totally in the moment we often label it as authentic - but is it really if it runs up against a core value?

@oOo interested in what in particular reads as "try hard" from Emerald? I feel like that could just as easily be applied to me, really 😅😅😅