Natasha Tori Maru

It often involves dismissing & avoiding negative emotions while incessantly reframing everything into growth mindset (or positive frame) no matter how negative, difficult or painful a situation is. It can appear well intentioned, but it runs the risk of also making people feel unheard / guilty / shame for feeling natural and normal negative emotions. Negative states & feelings + acknowledgement of bad things in the world is natural, normal and needed as part of discernment. It can be a different form of bypassing in itself that leads to weird unconscious coping strategies due to suppression. It is a hidden issue in self help areas unless you have some experience picking it out. Haha well, I know you probably know half of the points I raised - so I felt it was me high fiving you for provoking insight rather than straight lecturing 🫡 It's okay I'll go back to pointing out the naughty boy again soon 😎

@something_else where did you get 95% better for you from? Do you vape, out of curiosity as a side question? What we know based on science is changing, and the new studies are what I am referring to. They are revealing it wasn't as harmless as initially thought. I don't think we know for certain anything yet without more data, more research and more time.

@zurew intentional or not, I felt it was a misunderstanding entirely of how the word is applied in this setting.... Self belief = confidence. Self belief =/= narcissism.

It's surprisingly common to use strong coping behaviours to offset a toxic positivity based mindset. Sometimes as well, we are totally unconscious as to why we need copes. It points to something else in our lives being deeply unbalanced, and uninspected. Hidden trauma can also do it. So many reasons. Sometimes we are just predisposed to addictive behaviours. But your question was more rhetorical... I just had some random thoughts in response ❤️😎

Lots of new studies out showing vaping isn't better than smoking. Lunch cancer, mouth cancer. And because it is so easily accessed can be puffed on tap, the dosing can be a lot greater. I hope you guys don't do this!!! And strength out to @LordFall I hope you've kicked it hard ❤️

Lots and lots of arguing all the time, where the stakes are high (IE if I am not calm, coherent, rational and able to present a clear case I generally lose) at work. Where if I can't argue effectively without emotion I stand to loose lots of money. Also, I don't rush to answer. I don't feel a huge compulsion to defend myself. But I will engage to argue a point to get toward truth. I take my time to think and brainstorm and mostly that's about understanding the other argument more than my own. Also I tap out real fast if I figure out 1) someone is just wanting to win 2) they are being uncharitable or arguing in bad faith 3) they just flat dislike me and can't get the fuck over it 🤣 Sometimes I also just like to verbally joust for fun, and get snide and a bit sly. Like having AI fights with people 😁

Wrong about what? Can you summarise your understanding of my points?

Yeah, I don't think I am a good example of the general female population (in terms of my openness to physical 'defects' - which I do not class as such but by societies standards, I suppose they are). For me, brains trump looks. I have a minimum-ish set of standards, but they are loose. I have had LTR with some dudes who would be probably in the firm 4-5 category. Overweight, male pattern hair loss, not facially attractive by societies standards, short. But man they could chew the fat intellectually. Good humour + fucken icy wicked wit (maybe they were internet trolls ). I think the main element that caught my attention was confidence. Literally BDE. Then I discovered brains and NOM NOM NOM.

You seem surprised by my confidence. Well - SUPRISE I just know there are bigger issues than hair loss that hold people back. Much, much deeper ones. @NewKidOnTheBlock TBH if you own it like that - respect. Making a weakness an armour. That would probably earn points in my vetting books

Tapping out is often the most sensible option. People aren't actually putting effort into understanding what is actually being said by each party. No interest in getting closer to the truth of the matter. Only interest is service to ego (ie winning). You can tell as no one is asking further questions. Was a good brainrub session with you while it lasted

Well yeah, from what you have seen. Our experience is limited to us and can be a significant source of cognitive bias. Cognitive drift also. Like hair transplants.

tl;dr for my links above - LLM's have revealed language is self generating. The intriguing part is how we are interacting with language itself as conduits for transmitting qualia.

Something you do not, perhaps?

Exactly. Fuck the hair, you ain't going no where if you don't even interact. Plus bald head gives the velcro feel! Unbeatable tactile sensations

@LordFall I disagree. Confidence trumps looks every time - provided there are minimum appearance standards and cleanliness are met etc etc "Why not" - that's not a good reason to me. This is not to say looks do not have an effect and should not be focused on. But you need to prioritise and being overly attached to hair signals to me you aren't doing so. This is why I raised earlier I would be vetting the person harder. I don't want to date someone who is fighting their aging and devoting needless energy, money, time and resources to doing so. Again this is my personal opinion. And while this does not exclude it from criticism, it is not something I am going to change my mind over.