Natasha Tori Maru

Ruminating and re-playing out the interaction over and over after the fact, and re-igniting and perpetuating all the negativity surrounding it? I still get into loops like this. Maybe it doesn't describe you, though. It is my mind attempting to reconcile responsibility. It rarely happens to me now, but it was one of my biggest things to let go of.

I think as well as the above, showing people that they are the ones who do not want to let go, is the hardest part of the teaching ...

The question at the heart of it - the most confronting question of all. In my experience most do not want to let go.

I have Hashimoto's. May I ask what you have been formally diagnosed with by external medical professionals?

This feels like it could be getting to the heart of it. You might know the topics in and out but something else is interfering? Imposter syndrome? Unworthiness? Some ideas. I suffered from the above for years.

@Carl-Richard nah, I a fan of all that 👌

You see, that shit is like my nightmare. Although, my mum has had full conversations with me on MDMA. And she won't let me forget the stuff I spewed. Something something Tash rapping about all gold everything. Gold all in my watch, don't believe me? Just watch. Basically I played a mix of this song rapping to it until mum closed the door and told me to chill the fuck out 💀combined with grabbing the zipper on her jacket, repeatedly unzipping and zipping it up, claiming it was gold and we needed to beat the checkers game to get out. It was an extremely pure dose of MDMA, so high I was semi-hallucinating. Do not recommend. https://youtu.be/o6akgttG2sU?si=xKNlfvZCHf7YZ9_b

He's just not good enough at frame controlling male athletes

Some more lovin' Desi the poodle... SNIFFING

I have a few different things I like to do while listening. Particularly if I am trying to enhance my visual or tactile experience of something. But a lot of my music, especially recommendations, is consumed eyes closed at rest, reclined on my chaise. But I am a bit more old-school in that I listen to entire albums rather than songs. Unless it is just one track I was recommended. I tend to listen to most of an artist's catalogue of music prior to drawing a conclusion. I find there are some songs and albums that really grab me from the outset. And others that take two/three spins before I begin to love it. It is strange how that happens. I often observe the music I love instantly does not stand the time, as much as the music that grows into a love affair 🙂

@integration journey I'm lucky I have only said garbage while high, in person - to be forgotten by the high individual that received my deranged & obsurd words !!! Ha ha ha

You cannot accurately count calories unless you weight and log all food. I do not consider anything with a label as being accurate. I would be skeptical of all food labels +-25% I eat the same foods on rotation and know macros ballpark, but I do not really know the calorie count. I simply do not have the capacity or desire to take up the brainpower needed to log/weight each meal. It isn't important in my life - probably because I am in relative homeostasis with body comp. I would be very wary of recommending counting calories to anyone who has a history of eating disorders, or disordered eating patterns. The type of obsessive, black and white, perfectionist thinking comorbid to pathologies with eating do not translate well to counting calories. I simply observe my energy / emotional patterns + state after a meal. After a day, or after a week.

You're the one arguing the case - it's on you.

@Elliott That is simply your perception, then.

You would consider me to appear as masculine then. HA! Do you not see the breasts, hips and stacked thighs on Serena as feminine? Or does she confuse your brain and because you can see deltoids and biceps? Broad shoulders and muscles seem so arbitrary. But it is your perception. Not a universal.