Natasha Tori Maru

He didn't stop until he was well into visually and audibly seeing shit without any connection to another sound or object. It took a good month, me and all his mates, to convince him shit was cooked

Good conversation, good brain food. Much appreciate

Thanks, indeed you also! Your prose has excellent pace and structure. When you read it, the cadence helps illustrate your point as it has a pleasing rhythm Unless you are frustrated - then it is a staccato explosion

A fuckton, chronic blow-my-brains-out to escape life amounts. By the time he went chronic with it... consistently for 4-5 months would be my approx He was 32.

Yes I agree, it's just a model I currently use to try to understand feelings as a process and system. They exist, they have an energetic pattern to them, yes. Are they useful for survival? Absolutely. I feel there is some confluence & coherence between feelings, their purpose, and God. But I admit its just something I purely intuit. I need to think on this more

Yep, they stabilized him enough to begin coming back down to reality. Around 8 months of anti-psychotics and abstinence from all drugs They absolutely TRASHED his body though. Destroyed his muscle mass (wastage and atrophy) and he put on a profound amount of weight.

Do you think maybe it would be better to define the act of observing beauty as not the feeling itself - but your response to it as the feeling? IE observing the beauty is the action, and the feeling of joy and pleasure is the feeling 'reaction' ? I think I am caught trying to understand you as beauty isn't a feeling to my knowledge

Tracking back to the schizophrenia topic directly - this is my anecdote from my experience with my ex who went through it (if any are interested): It started with hearing odd things within sounds, and progressed steadily from there until experiencing full auditory command hallucinations. So, as an example (which he commonly reported), the sound of a drain gurgling. He would often ask me 'did that sound just like, say something? It sounds like children laughing when the drain empties, can you hear that?'. He would fixate on listening to the specific sound, analyzing it every time. It went from 'laughter sounds' to 'someone mumbling' to 'someone talking'. Right before he went to speak to a professional and start medication, these 'sounds within sounds' had jumped out to be independent voices telling him to do things. Checking the windows and blinds was a common command hallucination where the voices told him there were people about. Constantly opening and closing the blinds. Interrupted sleep to check the blinds.... The above was a similar story regarding visual hallucinations - where he would catch something in the corner of his eye. Soon he was seeing cockroaches flitting about. Shadows turning into animals - which in the same progression as above, moved to an animatronic dog that spoke to him constantly. I had no idea how to deal with this other than to be there with him, and constantly repeat 'I know you see that L, and its real for you, but I want you to know I am here also, and I don't see that'. I don't know what his full direct experience was like, but these were how his symptoms manifested and grew until they interrupted his ability to function. By the end he was terrified he wouldn't get his sanity/normal brain function back. It didn't help his doctor's answer to the above was 'We really don't know, some people recover, some never' This was from cannabis.

For myself I think of thoughts as an electrical pattern of energy, a nerve pulse that has a frequency. That frequency in the brain creates a field, which gives rise to the emotion. I use the analogy of an electrical toroid wire with a current applied: we know a current passed through a wire induces a force called magnetism. So in the above example - the thought 'electric current' arises, which induces an emotion 'magnetism' that has a polarity. The magnetism or 'emotion' in the body has very real effects: blood pressure can rise or lower, heartrate, breathing etc. This emotion will effect your state, and what you draw or push away from you. As I cannot clearly define a thought or emotion, I find this analogy to work so far to understand the mechanism of feelings as a system. By understanding these emotions are like magnets, they will attract me to what I require through their polarity. God wants to experience itself through me, as I am the fabric of existence. So love, as a feeling, a magnetic polarity, draws me to everything, connects. I am in love with existence, so I draw the entirety of the universe through, and of me. The feeling is the connection. To be so in love with the moment and existing as to feel all, have all emotions. Embody God. I should add that lesser emotions that do not have the same power level of love, as they do not always unify, definitely have a role in survival, as our existence is a system

They are clean in the sense of being sterile, as infection control is an entire department that comes in and assess areas we fit out as part of commissioning. But clean in terms of smells and scents as per @integral's definition in relation to his triggers? No way. Smoking is a huge example - many mentally ill people still regularly smoke in acute adult mental health facilities. The nurses hold onto their smokes and dispense them at regular intervals under struct supervision. It's rather well known nicotine assists in keeping these patients stable as it is a powerful dopaminergic drug. I have witnessed these conversations almost every time we have been to these facilities. 'WHERES MY SMOKES, I NEED MY SMOKES' On the floorplan of a big refurb we did, there is an outdoor courtyard dedicated to this. These patients walk straight back into the ward, carrying these smells

No, love is a feeling and an emotion to embody

@samijiben It is a disservice and insult to Leo's work to engage in trolling like this. ignored

You haven't given my proof any thought

Haha, It is more that I find maths useful to clearly and logically express a deduction in reasoning without any fluffy language that can be misinterpreted. I still think what I wrote is true, and I am very open to it being disproven. I don't mind being incorrect

I'm trying to understand. Truth =/= Feeling Love = Feeling Love = God Therefore, Truth =/= God