Natasha Tori Maru

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About Natasha Tori Maru

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    Melbourne, Australia
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  1. Yep, this was the same observation I made in my experience. The person with BPD had absolutely no conception the lie was a lie. It was their total reality in the moment. After emotions subside all was revealed. And with it, typically a lot of shame. Guilt shame spiral was big. I actually really love people with BPD - they suffer from the disorder - but their capacity for feeling (both good and bad) is just amazing. If you can hold space for their emotions and keep steady and clear you can be a rock for them to heal. It's a ride for sure!
  2. Wow thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable! Many sufferers to not even know that their experience is not the usual. BPD is tough because the emotions are SO strong. Every emotion feels to have the power of the world ending. Someone saying no can be interpreted as 'I do not love you'. Being unclear about who one is, is also very distressing. @integral My experience was very different. I was aware what the person was doing was wrong - but I made a martyr of myself. I took twisted pride in my ability to deal with violence and abuse. Men with BPD can be a lot riskier to be around - which isn't to say women cannot be also. But I suffered a lot of torture and violence and was made to consistently receive the message "I come second, my needs are secondary". I walked away with broken boundaries. Which was contrary to how I was raised; in a healthy and loving environment. I lost myself in them. The physical and mental torture when I did not comply with their needs was terrible. I lost my ability to fight back due to extreme backlash when I did so. During my phase of healing I was quite spineless and lost all drive. Prior I had been very decisive, headstrong and confident in an unusual way for a woman. I gained all of that back after healing and recovering. I was in this environment for 4/6 years on and off. I am can confidently say I am healed from all that past stuff. I learned a lot. I am stronger for it. But not everyone is able to recover from trauma. I wish I knew why I bounced back. But I have a feeling genetics may have a large component; I was always headstrong, decisive & a forward thinking problem solver. I've never been one to dwell on the past. It's just the here and now and whats next Annnnnnyway! Thanks for your words !
  3. @integral I recall you having experience with BPD partners/people close to you. After my experience with two people close to me that suffered from BPD, I had a lot of trouble accepting compassion and empathy in good faith. Charm too - my mind would jump right into "What does this person want from me?" "If I let this person help me, what will they ask in return?" It was really hard to break these patterns - it was like I had some leftover trauma from the experience (like a samskara) causing me to view empathy and compassion as weapons. Took me a lot of reprogramming to break that pattern and learn to accept love, compassion and empathy again.
  4. Some real life Voldemort horcrux shit Guys face looks full caved in
  5. Bruv he was recording me taking a shit. Bussin 😃
  6. This is really accurate. Healthy people don't invest their self worth into having a parter, sex, sexual volume or success. There is no strong egoic attachment that leads to them feeling negatively about themselves if they do not have "such and such". That confidence and earnestness is broadcast out and can be quite attractive on it's own.
  7. The funny other side of the coin on this post? As a chick - some guys actually use body count as a negative metric. "Women having a high body count devalues her."
  8. I love seeing the face cards. I get to imagine the looks on your faces when I slap out punishment for you scallywags 😉
  9. I suppose the NHI \ UFO phenomenon or theories are supplanted by economists / big tech so we invest our hard earned... Thoughts? To the topic No risk in investment there at all 😃 Gotta generate the attention revenue - which is, incidentally, half of the fluff around this topic. I feel they drop random shit when they need a distraction
  10. @NewKidOnTheBlock I mean, we are just surmising.
  11. He's cooking hard with this. No crumbs left. Reminds me of Joshe trying to debunk everything from one frame and slamming everything as being "impossible" "so many other explanations". Then when prompted with the Nimitz footage and breakdown "maybe I'll look into it, but it's still impossible"
  12. @Leo Gura I meant Matt Damon 🤢🤮 I thought it was decent tbh. I disliked Gravity. Not sure why I remember that just then.
  13. Rofl no wonder you never went back 😃
  14. Personally, I would have gone for a sans serif font without the heavy boldness. However, serif is rather timeless. More akin to an insight removed from the human speaker. Serif fonts appear sensitive to weight and spacing in a way sans serif does not. I am definitely one to suspend judgement on my own personal like/dislike of the change. Always with personal aesthetics, music, smells and tastes; I take a while to let it digest, influence and change my perception 😃 Has there only ever been one typeface for quotes?
  15. @Wilhelm44 I'll hit the cinema for this, my expectations for new films in general are low these days. It'll be an expedition to pickle my insides with cardboard salted popcorn and postmix 😀