Natasha Tori Maru

Mosquito's are the deadliest animal for humans on earth. Kill imo 😈

I know this feel (toxic motivation from my inner abusive narrative!) I had to cut ties with ME - or should I say, accept this inner dialogue with LOVE and hug it to death >.< You have come so far

Thanks I have a long way to go. The process is slow. Things that often feel resolved come up again continually! I expect it now. I relish being triggered or activated - there is something unknown within me to discover when this happens. If I can be put in a state of "wonder" I am very, very excited. Wonder is so curious to me, and important. Wonder is a combination of awe and curiosity in my eyes. Awe being touching on, or perceiving, something greater than me. If I can trigger wonder I have really entered a positive and engaged state of "not-knowing", which is so delightful. Linking this back to being triggered - when I feel activated in a way I wasn't prepared for, I know I can quickly access that wonder state. And there I can really probe with genuine inquiry and not be so limited by a pre-existing frame or explanation. It feels like reverting to a child-like provisional state.

@Jordan of the Shire I really enjoyed your addition here - your focus adds the somatic/embodied approach that was missing. I think after reviewing all the advice here there appear to be multiple legitimate entry points into psychological change. Cognitive understanding, emotional processing, somatic regulation, and attention de-identification can each affect a conditioned pattern (whether inherent to our unique biological self and predisposition, or a conditioned response from experience/story). The biggest distinction is between really contacting and allowing an experience to be processed/integrated, versus using one modality to avoid another (which is very often what happens when we aren't quite using the right method for us!)

Based on this and your other responses (caveat being, this is just speculation from my end as I cannot know your true inner experience, meaning and thoughts/feelings) - the biggest block that jumps out is you could be trying to understand your way out of having to feel. The answer I provided was pretty overwhelmingly phenomenological / emotional (identify feeling, notice resistance, isolate narratives that suppress emotion). You didn't go there in your response - you pivoted to "what is the psychological mechanism? what frame explains my execution problem?". Explaining could actually BE the block. AI use might be part of the block too (more explaining). NB I used to semi-suffer from this block also - explaining/rationalising everything. Control jumps out at me too. Less of "I dislike monotonous tasks" and more the entailed resentment of "I have to be subordinate to reality itself". You also very astutely realise you need to integrate blue - but there is a subtle cognitive dissonance (or contradiction) as much of your reasoning is decidedly anti-blue (intp, most things bore me, motivation with monotonous tasks, arguing on a forum over DMing clients etc). Honestly - I think your intelligence has become extremely effective at negotiating around an emotional constraint What do I experience internally in the 30 seconds immediately before I avoid the task? List the emotion, body sensation, thoughts, what the task says about you, what happens if you execute it poorly? - what about if you ace it? What resentment appears - what does sitting with this boring process mean about who I am? What am I protecting myself from experiencing here? This is almost like SITTING with the boredom and monotony, but actually going into it and analysing it. Which is part of the blue integration. I sound so funny to myself with all of this emotional, feeling and semantic shit. I used to resist this stuff. But it has unlocked insane authentic growth where I just engage in process with very little resistance. I would have laughed at you if you told me to do these things 2 years ago.

My ex had schizophrenia. Regularly experienced command hallucinations. They actually started when I was with him. I remember when they had just begun - he would grab my arm and say "can you hear that sound like a kids voice?" as the water from the sink drained. They started as sounds within sounds. He would constantly be looking for the voices inside other sounds - then one day the voices appeared to him separate from the other sounds. They jumped out. He always stopped, listened to them, then told me what they said. For a good chuck he knew they weren't real - especially as he often asked me about them. I was definitely his anchor to reality for a bit. One day he spontaneously started to listen and follow them. I got home to all the windows sealed shut, sheets and nails covering any window or door with a vision panel... Shadow people outside apparently. We got him help and medication soon after. Just thought I would share what I saw of auditory hallucinations. Genuinely seemed he was aware they were disembodied voices - but there was a change where he didn't trust them as telling then truth - then he did trust them. He felt they were like guardians (he knew they weren't coming from a real source ever since they "separated" from other sounds). But he also said confusing things like he thought they were real.

Those reddit pics (regarding the double chin) are literally just from tongue placement in the mouth. All it really does is raise the internal muscle placement at rest in the mouth. It isn't reshaping your jaw in any permanent way. It doesn't alter muscles more than just where they sit at rest. If you place your hand under your chin (where your chin meets your neck) and begin with your tongue placed at the bottom of the mouth, then raise it, you can literally feel the lift from different tongue placement. Just ensure your tongue is resting on the roof of your mouth when relaxed - voilà! No more double chin! Otherwise known as "mewing"

Alright then, take a break for a bit. See you next week.

@Elliott You've been warned about your crude rhetoric due to interactions in this thread. Stop.

To your OP - Leo's long format videos infrequent releases might be part of it. There is less content. In addition - we are all in this community to pursue higher consciousness and truth. We forget we are all on the same side. The longer we go in content droughts, the more I have noticed the community tends toward making enemies internally! Maybe just my hairbrained theory though.

Good point Sort of overlaps with manosphere and red pill. As soon as I see that rhetoric from users I perceve how lost they are, and it can act as a proxy for either 1) turd critical thinking or 2) bias up the wooozay 3) lack of experience. I rarely ever encounter that sort of narrative from well adjusted, stable and integrated men who treat woman as humans.

Sometimes we treat emotional states as "things to be solved". It might not always be the right approach 😊

I am also sad some of the other juggernaut intellectuals were banned. Really great analysis and debate from some users. Miss it. Especially miss just how good faith and charitable they could be in general Definitely Leo's place though. He calls the shots. Cest la vie

It might be less the PUA stuff and more the reduction of women to a pile of body parts. Breeding age. Used up. 24 is too old. YoU THiNk yOu KnOW WhAt YoU WaNt bUt u r a WomAN Here! let me mansplain how you are, cos you don't know how you work! Let me explain you and conflate that with understanding you! I can analyse you into the next dimension and then also fail to relate on even the most basic level! Be in your feminine emotions! But don't be too emotional! That's baggage! Also be rational! But don't be in your masculine analysis mode! But don't be too emotional! Holy shit brb while I pretzel myself into everything YOU need! ----- I tend to think the above undercurrent that leaks out in some users rhetoric is why women get turned off this place 😏

I don't view loneliness as something I have to deal with per se (as in, it doesn't require me to do anything in particular). It is just another emotion. It's fine. Passes very quickly like all emotions. Resisting it, avoiding it, distracting - amplifies it. My experience of it. It depends where it arrives from, lonilesss isn't totally clear cut to me. Is it just the longing for physically being with another? Is it wanting to be seen or known? Is it wanting conversation? Is it just wanting to be needed, or wanted, by another? I normally go into the feeling with enquiry.