Natasha Tori Maru

@bazera love the friction principle - it is the same way I look at it in different words 'lowering the barrier for entry'. Making doing the thing as easy as possible because my slinky mind will try anything to get out of it while building the habit. Once the habit is built through repetition, discipline isn't as needed because everything becomes reflexive. I think this is the video you reference: https://youtu.be/TwuutU9yUGE?si=l6UahE6cUXErVJ1G

I've noticed that all the successful people I have worked with have 3 things: observation, communication & self mastery.

Another tip I have: you want to be taking action with your future self in mind. This might be something as simple as preparing the coffee pot that night. So when you get up - turn it on and done. Lay out your clothes for the next day, so morning you can move through your routine with the lowest barrier to entry to begin and execute the task. Set all clocks 5 minutes fast. Plan ahead so when the time arrives to execute the routine you can be mindful and calm. This 'future me' is the 'pre-routine'. If you take action in the now to benefit the future you, it also enables you to look back on the past with gratitude. This will increase your overall enjoyment of the present and will stop remuneration over the past (regrets). The more you prepare for future you, the more you will be totally present, calm and confident in the moment. Again dovetails into enjoyment and gratitude for your own actions. Your effectiveness will increase because you aren't burdened by your own mind scrambling to catch up or remember (or beat yourself up for not doing xxx). Very very powerful technique. I employ this through the weekdays so I can deal with the stress and pressure of working in construction, as well as eating well, daily exercise, daily meditation, walking the dog etc. Most of my tasks are just setting up for future Tash 🙂

This 'eating itself' analogy has gone far enough lol - the visuals are traumatizing me! 💀😂

I empathise 🙏 The real issue is there is a lot of good advice mixed in with really unhealthy stuff. Mature people who have good critical thinking and experience will have an easier time sorting the shit from the good. Wisdom. Overall I think the younger generations are really scared to go out and put their balls on the line. That shit really does build resilience. But it isn't just gen alpha or z - growing up out of youth, into dating and the world? It's always been hard. Character building. Nothing worth it comes easy, in my experience. What we invest in and work for we value more inherently. Just how the human organism works. I do think the internet and social media has increased fear and risk aversion. More than earlier generations who weren't swamped with information and comparison syndrome.

Yes, absolutely. I tend to view it like this also - young men with less experience simply looking for a solution. Action steps to get there and a clean map that gives them duration/path/outcome. Logical to search for a solution. I can't even get angry or upset at them when they fall into red pill or misogynistic thinking. The moment you begin searching online for a solution to dating or women, you are flooded with it. Then algorithms begin to really cement it all in place over and over. Many of these younger guys are encountering dating advice aimed at 30+ or coming from emotionally jaded, damaged adults. Some of the advice is crazy for younger men to adopt! Experience and growing up will wash it all away (we can only hope!).

C'est la vie - your good work is noticed 🙂 So much. Basically misogyny rebranded as woke culture. There are probably 3/4 users who are severely paradigm locked here, who perpetuate it. Mostly it makes me feel deep sadness, because the pathology acts to prevent real intimacy with women. I simply do not have the energy to constantly reconstruct the same stupid arguments again and again. @Emerald was amazing at it. She had endurance I will NEVER have!

You're essentially trying to fight some users paradigm lock programmed in by the algorithms. As long as they consume online content, whatever headway they might make to get out, is going to revert back. Although, despite the futility of the above statement, I appreciate you calling users out. Much of my arguments are disregarded because I am a female. Sad. Symptoms of the chronically online.

One step further for the ultimate mogging - no hands eating off the floor. Just mouth. My body needs to become immune to the floor biohazard 🤪

@Mondsee I do not doubt it - the phrasing made me laugh, though 🤪

Christ almighty, makes it sound like a geriatric with a walker 💀

Approval seeking is a big one to look for - huge growth there. Often harkens back to approval seeking with parents. This gets reflected into romantic relationships also. You can witness on the forum even, those who seek Leo's approval. This points to some form of childhood love that wasn't pure and unconditional in the users history.

@bazera love all your points. Much of your process reflects my own. It is hard, laborious work. It doesn't often feel good either. The running script like a broken piece of software is an analogy I like to return to often. And I feel the same as you - it is scary to think we are walking unconsciously through life with these old scripts that run the show. Most people do this and will never become aware of it. Just looking for it in ourselves is a huge deal! It's fundamental to raising our consciousness - bring it all into awareness to dissolve in process. Suffering really reveals these scripts to us, in my experience. Hell yeah to us both on the path ay?

Oh yeah, I agree. No judgement to anyone involved - I have a mammoth ego in operation, so I am no better I would call my ego - sly.

Absolutely - we agree on the above. You essentially have to learn to love yourself first - but it is hard to do that if we do not know ourselves, heh! Relationships are a HUGE way to fast track self healing, love and discovery. If done right. IE being self reflective, having a critical and unbiased analysis of behaviour and a growth mindset. These qualities are hard to find though - many people do not want to go through the pains of growth. And that is a huge issue for many - growth doesn't always feel good. It is mostly confronting, painful and destabilising. For this reason, it is essential that whomever I date has a growth mindset. Good openness. Yes. I think it can go both ways. But if one is really self assured, high self esteem and healthy usually they will break off the relationship prior to being damaged or traumatised by it. I think the risk of someone reverting back to anxious or avoidant is more likely if they have had these issues in the past and 'healed' somewhat (like myself, for example). Someone who has been secure from the outset is much more likely to simple break the relationship off. They have such good boundaries and low tolerance for shit they put their foot down quickfast. 100% accurate. The push/pull, hot/cold mechanic is misinterpreted as love. Was by me - because that was the pattern of love I was shown as a child and adolescent. It was what I understood as love. Securely attached people seemed boring and dispassionate to me. So I basically self screened out anyone who was healthy (because I had no chemistry with them) and attracted people with attachment issues. Contrast that to now - I do not trust chemistry as much. I look at behaviour and words and observe people over months. Prior I would jump in WAY too quickly without vetting the person. And initially while I was healing I almost had to totally distrust who I was attracted to. I knew I was broken and that my attraction was NOT to be trusted. You can see how the cycle repeats with attachment styles and people develop pathological thinking; they aren't even aware their own running scripts are corrupt programs that propel them to seek the wrong mal-formed version of love. Secure attracts secure, while avoidant and anxious are drawn irrevocably to each other. I am no expert in attachment theory by any means. But since healing myself I can spot it in others a mile away!