Natasha Tori Maru

This is a broader topic that can also apply to many users issues with understanding women ❤️❤️❤️

If connection and the concept seems daunting - try thinking of just receiving. Receive her. All of her. Her totality.

@Olaf shit... I don't think you can escape logic! Maybe that's not the mechanism that blocks understanding. Understanding a woman isn't having an explanation but it IS being able to accurately reproduce the woman's personal meaning. You can be highly logical and deeply relational. Just can't jump into reasoning before you know what you are reasoning about. I use this sequence as a relational foundation with anyone, not just women. But it works for me: Connect (and I mean be with her, rather than trying to figure her out) -> observe -> clarify (questions) -> understand (get meaning from her perspective) -> reason (now assess with logic and rationality, critical thinking) -> respond Ideally, you end up in a positive open and mutual relational loop where she reveals something, then you reveal something, then she responds, then you respond. The error I see people fall into is they observe, theorise, classify then explain the women. What I don't ever do is use my explanation of a person (woman) as a substitute for a relationship with them. You want connection through intellect, feeling & empathy. Especially applies to women. But this also appeals to the feminine - so men will respond also (as men and women both have varied amounts of both qualities). The model you use can cockblock you if you aren't open, honest and prioritise new input with sound critical assessment. Logic isn't the enemy but locked down, closed models are.

Do you find new ways the book applies to you as you return to it at different life stages? It did for me, certainly. New messages jump out I missed before. I am not sure why people dismiss it as too elementary (maybe because it is simple). I think it's fundamental. ------- I really have a lot of respect for how open, transparent and vulnerable you are with your process. You can really see how powerful your inner voice is becoming through the work. That ends up translating to positive behaviour when authentically expressed. It's been my experience, anyway ☺️

I am not sure if you are consciously aware of what you are doing @Miguel1 . Your rhetoric has a recurring tendency to sidestep the user's actual point by moving the conversation onto a conceptual frame where you have already established the terms. You are dismissing through reframing. Not engaging with what is said. You did this to Xonas in your exchange, and with myself. It's this strange move toward epistemic positioning: you take the role of the person who identifies the deeper principle, correct the users framing, distinguishes the percived “real” issue from the superficial one, and explain the other's misunderstanding. This is subtly patronising and is not beneficial for the type of relational discussion you want. You position everyone as a subject to be corrected. I know this isn't your intention. But it is what is happening.

Bit of a grey area : Doxxing or DDoS The whole intent behind doxxing is to instigate groups to harass. And DDoS while it can be automated, is a similar groupthink frenzy when done via users.

Of course it's just the first few moments - but if it never gets beyond smalltalk, or smalltalk is that person's substance, then you know it's not the person for you. You are putting me down, you just can't see it. You are condescending. I don't care if you don't claim it. It still happened. Never said feelings are the whole truth.

Thanks for being patient with me

But all those questions are proxies - they show tone, intonation. Bring out body language. Expression. Spark further conversation into deeper subjects. Neutral small talk is a safe template to begin rapport. Eye contact. What topics they like. You can't avoid small talk. It only leads no where when you fail to see someone's eye twinkle on a topic and question more. Show real interest. Don't try to use your rhetoric to put me down like I don't know what depth, maturity and self awareness are. Stop that now. Feelings are part of your truth. You really want to avoid this topic.

Sarcastic condescending rhetoric. I just asked a question for further nuance as it isn't 100% clear to me based on how frequently you switch domains

Well you profess to do all this inner work but you won't even launch enquiry into these two questions. You keep avoiding both of them while they stare you in the face. Instead you judge the questions which as I raised above blocks a feeling. There is something you are avoiding feeling. I dunno what it is but I can't help you if you won't ask yourself the questions. If I were in your position it would be pen and paper. 2-3 hours of relentless "how what why if when" enquiry.

You reject that knowing someone takes time. How do you know when you know someone? What markers do you look for? Not feelings. Feelings aren't going to tell you anything other than your limbic brain is being triggered by endorphins. If you can list how you know - like with your example about the girl you spoke to for 5 hours. How do you know you got to depth there? Authentic depth? Knowing beyond just intuition or any feelings?

But did PUA tell you what to look for to select for a genuine authentic connection and relationship? Did it teach you how to select for that and how to narrow your search? I think the numbers thing is a red herring here.

This has nothing to do with what I raised. You are sidestepping. Do you think it is more likely you have an issue with the martyr / holier than thou inner narrative, or the myriad others who have pointed out this narrative you leak out? I can build a case if you want. It keeps coming out of you in many posts. I can go through your previous threads and quote the other users who see this in you, and there's been a few. I can go and quote every time you have reported "only I care". I don't want to trigger you into an egoic state so you don't listen, but there isn't any other way to say it. It's worth really driving into this and not just rejecting it. This narrative is actually blocking you from the deep enquiry you need to do. Notice it is a judgement. If it's a judgement - it's blocking authenticity. It's blocking a feeling you are avoiding. You can't be in judgement and feeling authentic at the same time. By knowing what you aim for. And trusting yourself you know. But you don't seem to trust yourself. You don't seem to have a process. A heuristic. Especially if you ask this question. Again I return to - do you trust yourself?

That's not the right question - the right question is HOW do you know?