caspex

I don't think I could focus on the teaching if Leo looked like that

For me Sankalpa is a very formal process I do when undertaking an anushthana or would when I do a purushcharana. Water, Rice and Flowers held in one hand as you state your name, address and other identifiers. You say what you are setting an intention for and offer what's in your hand to the earth. I take care doing this though. Every time you complete a difficult sankalpa the power of your will increases. Until you reach a point where it's psychologically impossible for you to not carry through the sankalpa. Once you take a sankalpa it has to be done. This is why this is a powerful practice because you need this kind of will to complete Purushcharanas. Failing a sankalpa does more damage to your will power than succeeding one helps it.

Yesterday I powered through the fear and sat down to study again. All in all I was less of a coward yesterday, which is what counts. There was a point in time where I understood how to study for 8 hours a day and did it for a week, but the problem was never the logistics or my approach. It really was my mindset. Something bad happened and that caused me to completely give up until yesterday. It's because I was a coward who couldn't get back up due to the fear of failure. I was so sick and tired of failing and I still am. But I have to keep going. It's hard to even say "I'll do my best" because I am so uncertain about my future actions. I am afraid that once I say that, I won't really do my best. That emotional labor is grueling. But I have decided to be brave. I am gonna study more today, and finally pick up some dumbbells. I'll do my best. More thoughts about the 11C: Gluttony occurs in Over-Stimulation; Boredom occurs in Under-Stimulation. Dissolving Gluttony means not chasing stimulation beyond needed, dissolving Boredom means finding stillness in under-stimulation. Easy to confuse the two.

Compulsions which restraint one's will and their counterparts Pride / Humility Vainglory / Authenticity Greed / Charity Lust / Chastity Wrath / Patience Envy / Respect Gluttony / Temperance Sloth / Diligence Cowardice / Courage Raga / Vairagya Boredom / Peace This journal is about me working through these compulsions and reaching some sort of predetermined benchmark. I assume that unless something structurally flawed comes up in the concept of this journal, it should run on for years. I want to start off by working on Sloth & Cowardice together. They go hand in hand in my situation. Either I act a coward or get sucked into comfort. These are the two compulsions which are affecting me the most in a negative way. Now that I have identified these problems I don't want to theorize anymore. I want to move from a theory oriented person to an action oriented person. I have been a coward for so long. My sloth made me eventually fear failure and now I am stuck as a coward who is too afraid to start things, commit or say yes to friends for any plans. This is why I lie a lot to cover my tracks. I look a lot better than I actually am. It's time to become more courageous and diligent. I don't yet know how I will go about this, but instead of theorizing some more I am gonna be brave and dive headfirst into the things I have been avoiding and see what happens from there. I am not gonna set a benchmark just yet to determine exactly when I am done with developing Courage and Diligence; this is because I am not yet developed enough in these areas to even set any sort of benchmarks. Just so I can't back out and be a coward again, I am gonna set a rule to post here at least every 2 days if not everyday. I just know I will have some sort of bad day and then my cowardice will compel me to not write about it, which will eventually lead me to abandon this journal. I am gonna be brave and work through this. I am gonna commit hard here because I am too much of a coward to commit normally. This is the type of stuff that will make me more courageous. If I fail after committing hard that will be a learning experience. I have been playing it too safe. This is why I am gonna make a public journal about it. I don't care if people see me as a coward, I am willing to be vulnerable because I am brave.

Honestly if a critic actually used this forum for a year they would realize Leo isn't even mentioned most of the time. There are no signs of Actualized.org being a cult beyond the radical claims. To use deaths associated with this forum to call it a cult is in Bad Faith. Many deaths are associated even with science and the scientific method, is science a cult? No because it actually works and encourages asking questions. Maybe you'd think there's no comparing science to this forum, that's alright, but it's important to see the context in which those tragedies took place. As for the asking questions part, that's the same with this community. Nobody asks you to obey Leo, I don't even think about Leo when I use this forum. The nature of this work is such that some people will fuck up badly despite all the warnings, it doesn't matter if Leo is managing it or anybody else for that matter. Psychedelics do work and there is apt research going on at such. Just because science hasn't caught up doesn't mean it's not true. Besides, there's a whole 1hour33min video specifically about the dangers of psychedelics; on top of various other videos about the traps of spiritual work. The work is dangerous and maybe the biggest mistake is for this to be as openly available as it is in the first place. But if you make it a more closed system you're even more of a cult in the eyes of critics. There's no appealing to critics. If the reader of this message is somebody who's coming in from that video or a critic, know that unlike a cult, nobody is asking you to join and obey Leo, or even do this work for that matter. It's in your will to come in here and judge for yourself. I only ask you to judge fairly and in good faith.

Touché

Just because zero equals infinity doesn't mean there aren't numbers in between.

I was wondering how instant gratification applied to this forum. It's definitely not as bad as other platforms and can actually be a good source of delayed gratification. But this forum can certainly be used that way. When I read a good insight I assume it gives me a dopamine hit because I want to read more. This is how I felt reading your post. What I don't get is, does taking 3-5 minutes out to read your post and receiving a hit instant or delayed gratification? How much delay is there needed for something to be qualified as delayed gratification?

This is a really great post. I read this last night and thought about it for a while. For me the insight "instant gratification is a Red-stage operating system running inside a person who has the capacity for Orange and beyond." was the best one here. This explains a lot for me. I really enjoy the approach of looking at it from many perspectives. It helps define the problem a lot. I also enjoy how your explanation naturally explains the phenomena of increasing Nihilism in the world. Here's a shower thought, instant gratification mode is like hunting for prey in the savannahs. When you are doomscrolling you are searching for that dopamine hit. It's a complete hijack of our animal brains. I really enjoyed the perspective from Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Our needs are being met artificially so well, why would we want to do actual work? This made me think; Humanity's goal in all of this development was never to increase love, happiness, consciousness or anything else, it was so meeting these needs became easier. In that sense, Humanity has succeeded tremendously. You don't even need to leave your bed now to feel secure, a sense of belonging, sexual climax, satisfaction of hunger(food delivery) etc. Humanity misunderstands how to achieve happiness and self-actualization. Removing restrictions actually helps compulsions take over, it extinguishes your free will and makes you a robot. I now know why early massive civilizations could be so philosophically advanced(Looking at Upanishads). It was because they actually had it easier despite the lack of technology, with the abundance of resources to go around (for at least the upper class) and the lack of technology which would otherwise trap you in instant gratification, it actually fed into philosophical inquiry and insight. Humanity lost the plot somewhere along the way.

I think what you might be sensing is the vainglory involved with Online Journaling. Actually most online journals I see are motivated by vainglory. Is there anything wrong with vainglory? Well, it's a compulsion that drives you to do things you otherwise wouldn't. It's your choice to do what you will with that. I remember I started a few journals (not here) which I ultimately dropped because I realized I wasn't producing anything of value aside from looking for validation. If not for the public aspect of it, I wouldn't have a journal at all. The whole point was that others would read it. I am not free from vainglory and it's a sneaky compulsion just like envy. I have two active journals right now, both of which I started due to vainglory. But now I only post in them when I think I am actually producing something of value. This way at least I am compelled to create stuff I consider valuable. You could also start an online journal for the purposes of public accountability. I think if you are having fun it's alright but it's important to be conscious of where all of that is coming from. Vainglory makes you sit hours in front of the screen just like lust would. Thankfully it's possible to make it constructive rather than destructive.

I read through the 10 chapters. The chapters don't open on your website by the way, I am on firefox. I think some stuff is good, I found the part on synchronicity helpful. I think the biggest issue here is the forced use of mathematical expressions. I actually think it makes the idea way harder to understand than it actually is. I think the use of mathematical expression is unnecessary. Also, there's just too much fluff. I think if you wrote it yourself you could get the same stuff across in maybe 5-6 chapters. The constant 'Not X, instead Y' or 'It's not X, it's Y!" pattern is really throwing me off. Also I genuinely did not understand what 'Illumination' even means. There's no clear definition, and the mathematical expression you give for it is wayyy under-explained than it should be. Having read through 10 chapters I have very little idea of what you are talking about making available to the masses. There's just too much emphasis on pleasing to critiques, I need you to explain the core idea first and its goal with sufficient examples before you can move onto dealing with expected critiques of your idea. I don't even get what your idea is. You explain what Viking Illumination is and what it's goal is, but you don't talk about Illumination or its goal in the first place. It's very hard to interpret from the chapters, which is counterproductive to your goal of making your idea simple to understand for the masses. I hope you understand I am not trying to be harsh, I am just sharing my genuine difficulty with understanding your model.

This list is different from Asthapashas [Lajjā; Jugupsa; Bhaya; Śaṅkā; Kula; Śīla; Jāti; Māna] because while they DO list eight BONDS it's from the perspective of Tantra. You cannot be realistically be expected to eliminate a chain such as 'DOUBT' by yourself without the help of a deity because you cannot be expected to undo Ignorance. So while the Asthapasha list sounds very similar in goal to the 11 compulsions that restrain one's will; it's actually listed from a very different perspective. Shame is eliminated once one becomes Authentic (counterpart to vainglory) Fear is too broad to be on the list as explained earlier. Doubt is a downstream function of Ignorance so is disqualified. Clan and Caste are not compulsions so disqualified. Pride is already on the list. Sila being attachment to a sort of conduct or way of being, or the idea of things being a certain way (which you develop as you live); example: 'I am a human'. This is covered within Raga as an attachment to the world. The most interesting one within the bunch is Jugupsa i.e. Disgust. At first glance it looks to be a separate compulsion which can restrain one's will in certain circumstances but after some thought it's evident that it is either not of a nature that restrains one's will or it's of a nature which restricts one's will but that's due it being a downstream functions of other compulsions already within the eleven. For example: moral disgust often contains pride and wrath contamination disgust often contains cowardice and raga social disgust often contains envy or vainglory Thanks!

I beg to differ. *Brings in the ostrich*

Notice that most actions are taken in influence of the 11 compulsions. When's the last time you did something which wasn't heavily influenced by these eleven?