caspex

As a teenager, it didn't fuck me up for he first 5 - 6 years. It took a toll on my life's vision after that point on though. It made me a dopamine seeking machine and it has fucked my entire system of willpower and the ability to be consistent and persistent. I am still dealing with fixing that. Getting good marks doesn't mean shit. I scored 90/100 in a college level Mathematics exam just two weeks ago. Porn has still fucked me up. Quit it before it's too late. It will fuck up your spiritual growth.

@Leo Gura I am very curious, please answer this question.

I see where you are coming from but this concept is simply too naiive to ever work for most people. Most do not want or care off raising their conciousness and doing better for their world. Therefore it's reasonable to assume for a parent that their child is the same way, and if that's the case, the child needs to learn how to fend for themselves instead of staying spoiled.

The state of awakening in which your heart becomes a bottomless pit, an infinite well of spaciousness and love. Love, that is made completely out of pure light and truth. The heart space, so huge, if the entire universe were to fall in it, it's be simply a grain of sand floating downwards in a sea of love. The facet of awakening where you experience the void, where there is no time, no space, no you and no beingness. Where you withdraw from your senses. These two shocked me the most.

In a gym, you lift weights to strengthen your body, you increase the weights, until your body reaches it's full potential. If you lift too much at a time, you may tear a muscle, bend a joint, get a injury so bad that you may not be able lift the same way ever again. Lift too less or not at all, and you'll never tap into the potential strength your body is capable of. It seems to me that this is quite similar to taking on responsibilities in life. Consider a responsibility a weight and you can only bear responsibility of that which you are capable, too much and you are crushed under the pressure, too less and you never grow up. More importantly, it's important to notice the pattern that, when you bear a responsibility successfully, you become capable of taking on more. You're mind, heart and character becomes stronger and you are able to handle more suffering, duties and responsibilities. People who are very strong in their mind, heart and character, through this process of progressively becoming more responsible and caring, seem to me like some of the most beautiful people in humanity. They are like a beautiful crystal in midst of lumps of mud like us. For me, a person with high integrity beats a person with good looks anytime, although, provided that, a person with both beats even that. So, for growth regarding integrity, one could progressively, but carefully, increase the load onto themselves as they become stronger. I see many people who are scared of suffering, but as Leo also said in his blog recently, sharp emotional experience is what changes you on the deepest level.

I am sure there many who are under 20 here as well, but the majority would be between 20-40.

All you are doing is raising the minimum level of effort required to live your life. Yes, it may improve your life a little bit because you have bound yourself to some more responsibilities. However, you are not treating the problem, but only the symptoms. It seems you have accepted that you cannot trust yourself in the future, and therefore look for solutions to force your future self into doing the right thing. Listen, do not lose hope and give up on yourself. I have tried similar things in the past, and I made myself think that I am not terrible enough to laze around at the cost of someone else but because you have not treated the cause, you slowly but surely become that terrible. All you have done is raised the minimum effort in your day to day activities. You may be pumped up after getting a dog but after sometime you'll start to do the bare minimum again. Nothing can thrive by doing the bare minimum. What you need is to not give up on your self. What you need is more human interaction, more genuine human interaction. What you need is to let go of self-destructive habits. What you need is to feel a sense of progress. What you need is to do tangible, material action, however small, on a day to day basis. You need to set all that up, by yourself, with incredibly low levels of energy. That's why it's hard, but persistence doesn't require energy if you have enough time to recover. Keep persisting and you'll break through. Not giving up doesn't require energy, and giving up doesn't free you up. In my honest opinion, only if you are able to persist like this for a year, should you get a dog. I suffered with loneliness and depression for about 5 years before I had a breakthrough. It's hard man, but it's over when you give up.

Peace and Satisfaction is the number one thing to aim for before any other form of spiritual realisation. If you are not at least peaceful and satisfied by your whole being in your entirety, forget spirituality, you're not even succesful materially.

It is more accurate to say that you are the suffering instead.

A Quick Update I am writing a short message here to give a quick update on where I am with my bhakti. I have not missed one day of pooja since, however, I have dropped it down quite low to just an hour a day. In fact, most of that hour actually goes to chanting for Goddess Saraswati as I have taken a Sankalpa to do her japa every day. I have had some cool experiences with that and I will share them soon when I find some time. As for my bhakti of Hanumana Ji and Rama ji, it's going well. I will update on that soon. But it's simply not possible for me to do the same level of practice (3.5-5 Hours a day of Japa of a single mantra) due to my overwhelming syllabus. Not for at least two and half more years. I actually plan on going full monk mode with my pooja after I am done with my academics in 2.5 to 3 years. I will be able to take up a hut in some mountain somewhere as my family does own some land for that. Fun fact, it's pretty close to the Himalayas. I'll do that for a year or a little more. I plan on building myself properly until then so in addition, I meditate at least an hour a day. I am also working on integrating all the Yamas and Niyamas within me (from asthanga yoga) by the end of this year and get started on higher levels next year. Just letting you know in case you do care about this journal. Honestly, I don't feel the need to write here anymore, but I think, just in case anyone who is into pooja or thinking of taking it up, should have something relatable to read.

I am pretty sure Leo won't change much. I have seen a thread like this in the past and nothing much came of it. Also that's definitely ChatGPT who wrote that

Turning off your watch history will not get rid of the shorts button at the bottom of your app. Shorts will also keep being recommended in your feed after a few weeks even if you click on the three dots and say 'not interested'. Moreover, your giving up a useful feature like your watch History. Not to mention, there's a ton of other features that are simply too useful to miss out, and which I need. Look man, I am not trying to use my tools for knowledge, such as YouTube, as a training ground for willpower. I want the tool to be efficient and not drain myself. If you want to develop willpower and discipline do it through more efficient methods such as spiritual practices. All in all, revanced is a tool and not a distraction. That's like saying I would rather use windows Vista and deal with all the bugs rather than simply installing Windows 11 because it's a distraction due to all the features. In my view, choosing to not use a very simple tool to enhance your life is being lazy.

The answer I got while contemplating existence was "Truth". The reason it exists is because it's true. It is it's own reason. I can't tell it to you in words but in experience you see that it's reason is itself, or you could say because it's fully and utterly complete it doesn't need a reason. It is because it is. Also, this isn't a cop out, this IS the answer. In direct experience, you feel satisfied with this 'reason'. You feel complete.

Ashtanga Yoga seems to be mostly integration before anything transcendent. So I think it's a good choice as well.

People do anything to avoid trying out new things. I have been using revanced YouTube for over half a year now and I don't have to worry about any of this stuff. Just get the app, turn off shorts and forget about it. It's literally like the YouTube app just without the things you don't like. It's not that hard to setup, takes 30 mins. It has many more features than simply turning off shorts. You can turn off comments if you don't want others opinion to influence yours. Or you can simply change the homepage to your subscription page so you only see the videos from your subscribed creators. Due to these features, I am at a point where I have turned off and on these features countless times and it doesn't matter to me anymore how many shorts you recommend to my face. Ill never feel the pull again. I have grown resilient to these things and it's all thanks to the app.

I have been using it for around 6-7 months. It works great and I have encountered no problems with my Google account. It removes ads and offers a ton of customisable features for your app.

@Leo Gura I have had trouble recently acquiring a job due to them checking up on my social media presence online. My only presence online is that of my YouTube channel and this forum. While I understand that it likely had to do with my YouTube channel, I'd also like to change my username on this forum so this account is not associated with my name to avoid any future troubles related to privacy. Due to my unique name, it's quite easy to simply search up my full name online and find my account on this forum in the search results along with some of my posts. I understand that I should have been more responsible with my online presence but I am young and only am just starting to care about online privacy. I read the rules before joining the forum and understood I couldn't change my username, however I request you to please make an exception, and change my username to "caspex". I am sorry if this is a bother as I have seen many more requests pop-up recently. I do not intend to abuse my name change nor do I have any history of creating trouble on this forum, please accept my request. I have already dmed you a few days ago, one of the mods suggested to post it in the forums so you see my request.

An introvert and an extrovert have different ideas and experiences about concepts such as peoples, socialization etc. They also possess very different kind of views of their futures and rationalize to themselves why there intro/extroversion is beneficial to that future. An introvert and an extrovert quite literally feel differently into their bodies and their surroundings. They possess different types of self-awareness of their minds. They are definitely different states of consciousness but none is higher by itself. If an extrovert is lower than the introvert it's because of other factors that arise from things like socialization. An introvert, because they are by themselves, may be seen as smarter and sometimes more conscious because their stillness allows them more self-introspection. However, the actual introversion or extroversion is not what is higher or lower in state of consciousness. A very highly enlightened person may be live either way. This can be seen beautifully in Hinduism through the example of Shiva and Krishna. One highly introverted and secluded for the most part, and the other highly extroverted and action oriented.

@Bazooka Jesus At this point I wouldn't wanna reveal any information about myself as the job is quite decriptive so all I am gonna see is that it was religious in nature. Only reason I wanted this job was because my friend worked in the same. My friend told me about why I wasn't accepted despite him vouching for me. @Leo Gura Please respond to my request.

Normal people aren't sociopathic because they are held down by there feelings of compassion and a sense of morality. But this is also what keeps them from becoming saints. A saint is not held down by their compulsions and emotions to a large degree. This allows them to be sociopathic if they want, but they won't, because doing so will bring them lower. Actual sociopaths are also held down by compulsions and emotions, if they weren't, they'd easily become saints. They are just held down by different compulsions and emotions than normal people. While a saint is held down by almost none.

I don't feel the new year being anything different than any other day but I understand the meaning it brings to a lot of people, especially when it comes to starting over or starting something new. Therefore I appreciate it and wish success to others in their endeavours. Personally, I would like to master all the Yamas and Niyamas by the end of this year.

The Lurker, after registering, must make an introductory post hailing our lord and savior Leo Gura for the first 3/4th of the post.

When you are ignorant of your nature as God it's not like you seize to be God. However, God is still deluding itself in the form of you as a human ego. Due to this, it would reform itself after physical death. God could reform itself as anything, depends on a lot of factors. Reincarnation is true and so is heaven and hell. Your 'soul' is simply this all pervading conciousness. Your soul is paradoxically entirely impersonal.

They say that when a forum post reaches 84 replies, the digital cosmos align, revealing the hidden truths of cyberspace, and the OP attains a state of metaphysical enlightenment, transcending the ordinary realms of online existence.