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Everything posted by caspex
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caspex replied to Javfly33's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
just think about it, there's no reason to feel bad about dropping back down. There's actually no reason. The more you experience the more your baseline consciousness will start to alter. But you need to allow it to do that. And for your baseline to be shot up requires lots of open mindedness and courage. -
caspex replied to Eren Eeager's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I think it would be easy to just love him if you can train yourself to not generate anger from all the things he did since you know there is no reason for you to get angry. For eg. You gotta be aware enough to know there is nothing to be frustrated about if he got you wet by throwing that drink at you. It'd be nice training lol -
caspex replied to Adamq8's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I resonate completely with him -
caspex replied to Mvrs's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
damn yeah you right -
caspex replied to communitybuilder's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Isn't it your belief that there were other points in time? That there is time? That there are other POVs? That you are a POV? That there is something else? That there is something at all? -
caspex replied to Adamq8's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
He says that realizing God is yet just another stage of awakening, and that we shouldn't stop there and try to go beyond. He says next state is after realizing you are everything and God, you work on realizing you are nothing. Not even nothing. And then dissolve into reality. Then he says even beyond is realizing that reality is beyond being and non-being, beyond perception and non-perception. edit: tho i'd say you if you can do the nothingness thing then you will simultaneously be conscious that you are everything and also nothing. I think he said that in the video as well. -
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caspex replied to Adamq8's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Very helpful. But I think what he is saying goes at the same time as what other teachers and also Leo says. As he said, "There is no self" is the same thing as "I am everything" I think he is really tryna stop us from misunderstanding the awakening process. I don't think Leo is as much at fault at all. Even with just Leo's video, I was able to experience what Frank is describing. But his video did serve as a great reminder for me. You are immortal and also mortal. There is being but also non-being. Damn. This feels great, but also not great. -
caspex replied to Natasha's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
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caspex replied to Mvrs's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Well if you focus on somewhere other than the image in front of you, ofcourse it's gonna blur. And since in your experience, there is nothingness behing your perception. Your vision just blurs and dissolves and no other image comes up. Unlike let's say imagining a red car while eyes open. atleast this is how i see it. I think what you are doing can be a helpful practice tho, just feels like it. edit: Just realized, what you are doing rn is what I do to focus in on the fact that I am awareness which pervades everything Nietz's abyss quote makes sense now lol. edit 2: I am gonna do this too, to focus in on the void! Thank you! -
@acidgoofy i'd love to hug that body of yours lol looks sturdy no homo tho
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caspex replied to r0ckyreed's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Someone wrote a really detailed guide on how to Conciously Sleep here some time back. They also link several other of their posts that talk about OBEs and AP. They talk about them in the post itself. I think it's helpful, though I haven't tried it out properly myself. -
caspex replied to Mightymule's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Don't worry, I think you are doing fine. Just keep going. Only thing you can mess up on this journey is to either never start or to not finish. (I think buddha said this, and I damn well agree.) -
Just another thing I want to say on this thread. Since NoFap amplifies sexual attraction in me (that is I am more easily attracted by other females, sorry for sloppy english.), It is all the more easier to inquire into what sexual attraction is all about by feeling even more into it! I'll probably say something here again if something interesting is discovered by me.
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caspex replied to JayG84's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
When something appears from nothingness, you call it thinking when it disappears forever into nothingness, you call it forgetfulness And I guess not knowing you're god and all is rather a self-deception than a you forgetting something. It's like the ego has locked a door with deception to the realization, so you have to somehow do stuff to open the door and see what's beyond by unlocking the deception. I think working on a realization is just identifying the deceptions blocking your sight of that realization and eliminating them(well identifying itself eliminates them), either through intense bodily experiences from psychedelics or kriya yoga or other means, or through contemplation and meditation, etc. But you need to identify a path around the obstacles cuz usually you just come back from the realization back into deception out of habit, if you a path back to that realization established, you can go back as much as you want until you are comfortable enough to settle there. This as you know is called integrating your realizations -
Thanks for everyone replies! I am already about a week into NoFap. I don't even want to call it NoFap or anything, I was originally just practice letting go, but I guess I'll let go fapping for real. What I have seen is that it is less waste of a time. And also,, my dick feels new lmao. As far as the 'not fapping while i can' thing goes, I think I can achieve same (even greater ofc) bliss thorugh meditation and all that spiritual work. How I know this? Cuz I have been there done that before. It's better than sexual orgasm, so maybe I should just quit being such a slave to survival (always am, but I want to atleats quit some gross manifestation of that survival insitinct). I'll stop counting from now on, counting will only keep my focus on it.
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caspex replied to Red-White-Light's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I don't know much about all that, but what I have experienced is that when I go really deep (deep for me), or have a really mind fucking insight, during that experience, the area on my forehead where the third eye is supposed to be, really starts pressurizing, and to say it is pressured isn't even correct. It's like it is pulled in like there is vacuum in my head. Also during all this, i feel pleasure in the head. -
caspex replied to r0ckyreed's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I haven't done it but certainly gotten pretty close. If you can induce sleep paralysis consciously, you can then later move on to astral projection when you are hallucinating big time. How to induce sleep paralysis? Well really I don't know. See, I did it 3 times but it happened when I was focusing on my thought without realizing i was focusing, Suddenly by thought grow loud and i 'fall'. Vibrations all throughout the body and I start hallucinating in all of my senses. So from my experience all I can really say is try to sleep by meditating. Which is observing your thoughts. It always happened when I woke up at 3 am (went to sleep around 11 pm), then stayed awake for a while, maybe 30 mins to 2 hours. Then I when i went back to sleep, it is very easy. See I know this much, but the last time i did that was months ago, and i have been trying (not intensely tho), to do it again. No luck yet. So my information here isn't much to go by. -
caspex replied to Endangered-EGO's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Not asking you to hurt yourself, that was just an extreme example to get the point across. -
caspex replied to Endangered-EGO's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The first time I ever noticed what I was when I was sitting in silence during the evening. I wasn't expecting any insight. I wasn't even trying meditate. I just meditate on my own without realizing sometimes. And suddenly, I realized I was the awareness that fills all. And the mind, body and world is part of it. I think you have to let go of all your conceptions, Leo's latest video on realizing God helps a bunch in that. If you can burn all your conceptions, you may see that awareness that fills all. Why I say all is because the direct experience is all there is. No conceptions. Once you can see this, it's very easy to identify that me-ness anywhere, because no you are not identified with it. Since you have gone meta to self, self is easily seen. An easy way to identify this realization is if it feels as both "I am everything" and "I am nothing". Feeling "I am everywhere" and at the same time "I am nowhere". "All is me" and "There is no me". So in my opinion, you can realize in this order to make it easy. Realize that awareness (by making a distinction between thoughts and consciousness, is pretty hard to see at first) > then see that it is you (usually it happens automatically when you realize that awareness, but if it doesn't happen, try to see it's you.) > then notice the ego/me/self(it's always a feeling in your heart) > try to let that go > then notice the feeling in your heart which denotes 'the world' > let that go > then notice the feeling of 'other' > let that go > then notice the feeling of "ALL" > let that go > then notice the feeling of "I am everything/nothing, everywhere/nowhere, etc." > and let that go > then notice all your linguistics in your mind > and let that go well you get the idea. Basically be how a baby is. with this practice, you'll develop the spiritual muscle of noticing these feelings in your heart and letting them go. So let's say you put your hand in a fire. You'll then be able to notice that you wanting to pull your hand out is itself a feeling, and you are trying to resist that pain and heat. And you can let that go. Takes a lot of practice lol. -
I had an ego backlash but, now I am feeling great tho. I have integrated at least 10% of what I felt during the exercise in my baseline consciousness. And I am working throughout the day to bump it back up and up. By that mean be more conscious. Just sitting is feels great man. During the exercise I felt the same in my head as during an orgasm's peak. I know it goes deeper and more intense, but first let me be able to reach their easily as well. Everything Leo said in the video which would previously make 0 sense to me made 100% sense. And it still does. Just wow. I had a similar experience 2 weeks back, I even posted about it. This was the same, but it was bunch more intense.
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caspex replied to Endangered-EGO's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
You can watch Leo's video on letting go. He gives a few exercises. For me, I masturbated, so I started letting that go. This is effective because after some days the urge is really strong, and if you can let that go too, it's very good training. Youvan do this while your body is feeling pain. When you are frustrated, angry, sad, excited, happy. Just try letting it go and flow instantaneously. Also be sure to identify yourself as an illusion and let that go as well. Letting yourself or "me" go is very helpful into having a flowing mind that is unsticky. Once you let it go, the flow suddenly goes 50 fold. -
Since I am mostly on PC, I use uBlockOrigin adblocker extension. It's not like I can pay for Youtube premium and all. And If I am getting a real good experience without paying why not? If I was rich then yeah I would buy Youtube Premium since it will also extend to my phone. By right now ads aren't even a problem for me. And it's not like I need Youtube Music and all that. And I don't know why despise ads so much? I honestly don't care if Google or any big corporations get money. I have better things to do(self-actualization) than give fucks about hating ads and demonizing corporation.
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Name: Swarnim Kumar Yamdagni Age: 16 Gender: Male Location: New Delhi, India Occupation: Student Marital Status: Single Kids: No Hobbies: enlightenment, meditation, personal development, reading, nature, healthy eating, anime, hatha yoga, yoga in general, cooking. In 2008, my parents (who owned a very successful business) got accused by some employee of fraud. This was a very well planned accusation and that employee had alr gathered a lot of people to support him that were in on it. My parents, being not very well familiar with the ways of the judicial system and corruption going on, got fucked over hard. My father was in jail for 3 years before finally being able to be bailed out. During that time me and my mother had changed our original (duplex apartment) home and were living on rent in some small government built apartment. I like those days a lot. After 2.5 years of my father's arrest, my mother was arrested too. Before my father came back 6 months later, I stayed with my uncle in a village. I would say those 6 months in a rural village contributed to my spiritual growth. And after that my father came back, shortly while after my mother came back too. Then we eventually got the custody of our old home back and we went back to live there after getting it fully renovated in around 2012. Why I have told you this is, this whole phase in my life consists most of my early life memories. And I believe this has shaped my personality. If it weren't for those experiences, I don't think I would have been open minded enough to get into spirituality as soon as I did. Till 2017, shit went insanely smoothly and they were among the most materially prosperous times of my life. A good home, two maids (who stayed in our home) who I treated as sisters and my parents as their daughters, a good school life (i was pretty smart), a loving tutor lady that came to teach every evening and I love talking to her. My day used to be like this: Woken up by mom or father pretty early usually around 5 - 6 am > Went on to bath and brush > Then go to our in-home temple and read some sanskrit shlokas OR just ask for it to be a good day > eat breakfast > Leave home with my Dad and he'll drop me off to school and he goes to office (or sometimes not, he can just go back home and chill, majority of the business could be handled from home, by we still had a office) > have an epic day at school with friends > mom picks me up, we talk in the car on the way back > go home, change, eat food made by maid, chill till 6 pm by watching either TV, Laptop, PC, Tablet, or Phone. > Tutor comes to teach for an hour, it was really great since we were really frank and open. > father arrived moments before tutor left > then wait for dinner to be cooked by the two maids while watching TV while mom and dad talked about the day and other stuff > then eat dinner cooked with mom and dad while watching a TV serial (an Indian soap opera lol), maids ate too sitting on stairs while watching TV with us. > father went to sleep at 9 PM and me and my mum at 10 PM or 11. Schedule was obv changed on Saturdays and Sundays since no school or tutor, and father didn't go to office. It was much more freeing and fun. As you can see, I didn't have to worry about food, love, studies, a clean home, money, etc. After 2017, my parents started to get accused again, (Actually the guy who accused by parents back in 2008 {the case is still on going from 2008 btw, just that my parents are bailed} has has formed a group of people who go around accusing people of fraud to then later blackmail money out. Since they have strength in numbers, shit always works out for them.) People started to come to our home every Saturday to bother us about money, they even got our company's name printed in the newspaper as fraud one time. Well eventually they paid the police from the state of Jammu and Kashmir (at this time this state had a separate government from the central one, not anymore tho). So really it was easy to get my parents arrested if some false FIRs were arranged. So on the night of 31 March 2018, the police came and arrested my parents. A fuck ton of stuff has happened since then till now. The general gist is this. I was left with my 3 year old sister at that time and two maids. We lived easily, mum actually managed to get away from the Jammu and Kashmir police a month later (a whole story as to how that happened), my mum then helped us live till 2020 January from hiding in a different home. A whole ordeal trying to communicate without being caught lol. I got into spirituality through Aaron Doughty on YouTube in Dec 2018. I have stopped watching him but he's the one who got me into it. Now since I had all the time in the world really, no parents, and maids to cook, clean and take care of my younger sis for me, I could easily go into this stuff. Over time the maids had to leave and go back to their homes. First one went in early 2019, responsibility of my sis came on to me while the maid that was left did the cooking and house work, then that maid had to go as well in October 2019. We hired a temp maid that came daily, cooked and cleaned and left. Because of this, responsibility of keeping the home clean and my sis all came onto me. And then my mum surrendered to the police in January 2020 as well because we really ran out of money and my mum couldn't even buy food. Two uncles help me with buying groceries these days and really, they are struggling with money as well. 2019 was a very traumatizing year tbh since the struggle with money was really, really bad, and I had to talk my mum out of suiciding three times. it really seemed like all hope is lost. Compared to then, today is a peace of cake. When Covid pandemic hit, there was a lockdown in last week of March 2020 and it continued till July 2020 here. Till then the maid couldn't come to my home. This meant I had to cook on my own each day, this gave me the hobby of cooking. And this is when I started meditating at the end of April and went up to 2 hours a day. Then I stopped in end July. Trying to build the meditation back up again to at least an hour these days. What's crazier is this, in April 1st 2020, my Wi-Fi was cut, since we hadn't paid the Wi-Fi bill in six months! Only recently I have gotten my Wi-Fi back on 2nd November. This means I had to stay in one place(my home), not go anywhere except for maybe buying stuff (very rare), no school after my final examinations of 10th grade in March 2020 (no school cuz couldn't pay fees), take care of my sis, cook and all, with no Wi-Fi. I only had 1 GB data a day to go buy. THIS was the turning point in my life and spirituality. Because so much limitations, and my meditation habit, I grew and realized so fucking fast. I'd say I went from solid orange to yellow just from March to September this year! I had been saving up data to watch @Leo Gura as well. I found Actualized.org in late 2019 actually, but I only seriously watched his videos in March 2020 before my Wi-Fi cut out. I watched him and Sadhguru really seriously and almost binged his videos on non-duality and self-deception and other videos before the Wi-Fi cut. This set up a nice ground to contemplate on after the Wi-Fi cut and this mini-retreat of sorts lol. I was very into Sadhguru, then I came across the series of @Shanmugam talking about the cult like behavior in Sadhguru's following. I resonated and finally stopped watching Sadhguru in like august 2020. 95% of it was because his content wasn't resonating with me anymore, since he talked about stuff that resonated with the majority, not the hard sauce, just weak sauce now. Shanumugam just acted as catalyst for me to stop watching him now. I still am subscribed tho, in case he has some good video put out. I have been growing like crazy and have had insane realizations this month. Just unbelievable. I guess the tarot reading I watched in November 2019 of "What it would be like an year from now" was right! "You'd be really joyful and living in a dream". This isn't what I expected but this is way better. Materially, shit is still rough. Both parents in jail, really trying hard to get them bailed. Struggling with money, no school yet. Right now I am cooking in the morn and the maid comes and washes the dishes and cooks dinner and cleans in the evening. I spend most of my day on my PC. Either watching spiritual stuff or anime. I also do Hatha Yoga. My day goes like this now. Wake up at 11 - 12 pm > look at how my lovely 5 year old sis has made a mess again > go to the pc, browse shit till 1 or 2 Pm > go cook > eat > use pc till maid arrives at 6:30 PM (My sis gets to watch YouTube on my phone, I also try to moderate what she watches, whole another story.) > talk to the maid while she cooks and cleans (I have a really good and frank relationship with her. I talk about spiritual stuff with her, she listens very carefully while working. She's on blue vMeme mostly.) > then close the door after she leaves, eat and then use pc till 3 am, my sis goes to sleep at 11 or 12 in the night. > Repeat this cycle has been repeating since November 2 and actually everyday has been similar since April 1 2020. It was much more 'boring' before November 2 since I didn't have Wi-Fi. It was so similar each day that my time sense was all messed up. A week/moth ago felt like yesterday and 2 days ago felt like a month back. I never even looked at the dates. It's 2 PM now, I'll go cook. Long ass Post.