caspex

i agree

I want to know more about this, will you dm me?

Nothing special about him yeah, but does it matter if he's truly enlightened or not? Think about it. It'd only matter if he was an authority to you, maybe your sole master that you follow. Like, your guru being enlightened or not only really matters if you are living physically with him or something and giving your life away so that he can enlighten you too. However, with Leo, and many other teachers online, all you do is listen what they have to say. You don't have to commit to anyone. It doesn't matter if they are enlightened or not, you just need to be conscious enough to know if you are growing or not by listening to them. It's about you really, not the 'guru' or the other 'disciples'.

drop all ideas and notions, drop that background voice of some guru talking about awakening while you try to invoke the same experience, be completely present and do this Question "I AM", alone and meditating. With the hunger for truth and impatience(which leads to doing the practice as intensely as you can), you could probably get it an hour(or atleast I did, for some it may take doing it everyday for some time, depends on how intense you can go). Though this 'getting it' will be very temporary, it's useful when you haven't understood what you are even once. Like a mystical experience. To make it permanent it'll take time. Also be aware, if you get it for the first time with that method, you'll likely end up experiencing some sort of ego death or warping of space in and around your head. Which is a great thing! But don't confuse it with everything, there'd still be much to learn!

So I discovered something while experimenting with breath and the physical heart. This technique seems to still the body really really well in under 10 mins if not 5. I am sure this is already a well known technique, but I am just discovering it for myself here. Alright so, first of all, where do you identify with? Usually it's the head. That's why it feels like the chest is down there. What I want you to do is identify with the heart, the physical one. Once you do this, you'll literally feel like YOU ARE some warm, gushy area with some sort of vibratory rythm. It'll feel like you are back in your mother's womb. You'll feel like you are inside the chest and that the physical heart is the center. Your head will feel like it's somewhere up there, etc. Now after you have shifted where you identify with, it should be 10 times easier to still the mind. So drop as much activity in the mind as you can and still it. Now focus on your breath, with each passing breath, go slower and slower and slower. Reach a point where you are taking around 1 breath every 30 seconds or more. While doing this, slow down your physical heart. You'll intuitively understand how to do this if you have correctly become your heart. At some point, it'll feel like the body has become so still that it is paralyzed and can't move or speak. So I have a feeling this could be pretty dangerous too considering we are tampering with the physical heart here. It's amazing what lot you can do with your body by just becoming the area you want to experiment with. Most people are stuck in their heads their whole life, literally!

You could be using this as confirmation that living in mountains is way better I mean It's not as insane as you'd think it is if you look at it through news, the world will always seem chaotic, that's just the filter news use

Yes, everyone is pzombie and so are you one. The only 'thing' with true consciousness would be everything at once(infinity)

Mf have you seen Netero's backstory? That man is enlightened af Also, Idk about the series being turquoise as a whole. But it very well may be. The manga artist and story writer of HxH doesn't even post every month or whatever. He always takes long hiatuses and posts according to his own accord. He probably realized the grueling day to day labor manga artists put in is not something he wants. But still wants to be creative. So maybe he could be stage yellow or higher you know (speculation)

Sometimes the site doesn't load for me. So, I turn on a vpn and it does. (I am from India)

only watched law of one series on aaron abke's channel. tbh it matches a lot with everything else i know in spirituality and kinda fills in the gaps for many places in my knowledge. So i do tend treat it as real but I am aware i just believe it.

Many here simply don't have enough compassion it looks like. My experience has been pretty tame and it's wild to see that the same forum can be such a different experience for another user. It's easy to give into triggers and that's probs what happened with people who read your posts. Leo talks about dealing with shit irl and so that's what most people connect all the love talk with, but when it comes to the forum or online environment in general, I think people forget that the same compassion would apply if you're actually evolved to that level. I also felt those triggers when I read your posts and the way you wrote them(though I didn't reply because frankly there's no point), and I think that's because you're way of posting etc. is against the collective ego of this forum. Why? Because collective egos are just dumbed down versions of the actuality. So the collective ego here is just "being conscious is better than being a normie and unconscious. And therefore I am better than you if you post or think in a way that is obviously ignorant OR you show signs of classic anxiety, depression etc. I hate those things because those are signs which should be transcended in spirituality, and that I am spiritual! And therefore I should revolt anyone who isn't so!" Though half the people here might not think in exactly that way, that's the trigger you would give into if you tap into the collective ego of this forum(which would happen when one reads a post of the 'enemy'). This dumbing down is a mockery of what spirituality actually is but is practically unavoidable when it comes to forming and managing a large group of people into spirituality. I think you're taking the right decision to leave this forum because I don't think the collective ego here would accept a person with anxiety and all. Infact I wouldn't even recommend that you continue your journal here because it'll just be another source of misery for you. I recommend you find some other way or community for public journaling.

My laptop caught a virus so I was really really worried. It was destroying everything on it when I suddenly saw the the whole screen was broken too. That's when I realized this is too nightmarish to be real. But I couldn't remember anything except the fact that this has to be a dream and I needed to wake up. So, I sit down and inquire deep into what I am feeling and realized that there is a feeling in my heart that gave away the fact that I am 100% in a dream. But that's all, that's all I could see. I couldn't for the life of me remember the waking life or wake up. I was stuck. After a few tries, I gave up and fell back into the dream. Worrying and in Anxiety. Suddenly, I open my eyes and I am in my bed. I remember thinking "I KNEW IT. I WAS IN A DREAM." Now normally this would be it with no further qualms. But I inquired a bit deeper and I realized something that has fucked me up. Remember that feeling in the heart? I STILL have it. But this one's a higher level of the one in the dream. It's clearer, but nonetheless is there. And it's not necessarily in 'my' heart or the chest, but the reality's heart. This, just gives away 100% I am in a dream. I am kind of scared, because it just broke everything. I can't remember how I thought 'Reality' existed. It's all a dream, it has to be. It can't be anything else. Other things that fucked me up after inquiring is the fact that remember how I fell back into the dream? Well that happens all the time in this dream too!. It's like a hypnosis. That's what I am in right now. And just like how I tried so hard to get out of the dream after intuiting I was in a dream and confirming it through intuition, I just couldn't get the fuck out. Just like the dream rn. After further contemplation, I see that it doesn't matter how many layers are there to this dream inception, what matters is that I see it's a dream. And that my whole persona, ego, this whole game, is built like the rest of the dream is. I tried further experiments. I was sitting down, still in awe, decided to imagine a dream. I imagined myself as falling(forever), and then decided to spawn an apple. I did it. It spawned. But then I decided to block my power. So I tried again, and it didn't spawn despite me wanting. What this 'blocking' did was create a separate EGO within the dream. It thought, it decided, not ME, the one who was dreaming. It became a separate entity. I could influence it's thoughts, spawn anything I wanted around it, but it couldn't. I was thinking through it, yet it was a separate being. I decided to spawn another entity, this time a woman. Now what I instantly noticed that both their experiences merged as one for me, however they both had no awareness of the other's experience. They both got curious and started moving towards each other while in free fall. As they got closer, almost about to touch each other, I decided to end the experiment. To do that, I dissolved them both into me again, they both died. And I cried hard because I just liberated two beings. I still feel like I am in a dream(and infact am in one, according to that feeling in reality's heart), it's not going away. The notion of 'reality' only exists and is 'opposite' of 'dreaming' when you are not aware what you are talking about when you say reality.

Let's be careful to not bash anyone, guy's still doing god's work(literally) by helping out stage blue people

You gotta be bullshitting me, there's no way he isn't joking.

(Just self-promoting while adding to the forum, lemme know if that's okay.) It talks about how if Kindness doesn't come naturally(due to being full with love inside) then there is no need to force it.

I like how the "I" is the sneakiest

By who's standards?

Where I sit to use my PC, the roof is made up of green fiber sheets. Those have lots of wrinkles, dirt and what not in them. So I sometimes just look up and stare at it, and I can see so many different images in it. Most simple to most complex images. Amazing. Same with a dirty floor, etc.

By knowing you're only feeling it

Well only one country can't solve the problem. It has to be a global effort. But that can only really be done if there was a global government, which will take lots of time to happen. So there's only one way that we will act globally upon this, and that's when shit hits the fan. I am talking major catastrophes (specially in first world countries, because those are usually the major players globally).

Bump. I need help too.

Seems more like stage Green to me

I would like to add some things to your contemplation on space. So basically, you're creating the feeling of space, but you're doing that at a level which is deeper than your mind(therefore it may seem beyond you, the ego). To see this, just feel into what spaciousness is. Space that your body occupies, space that you can move your hand in, etc. This spaciousness itself, this whole sensation of what space is, can be altered. It sometimes happens in meditation, for eg. Your head feels like it has enlarged literally to cosmic proportions, or that your mind has become microscopic. This is also what you do in dreams, you create an alternate space. When you enter the vibrational state just before astral projection or other practices, the space has again been altered. You can also gain control over this and actually warp and mold space. No material alterations, no warping in your visual field or anything. That all ain't space. I am talking about the sensation of space itself. So you can make so your head feels like it's where your feet is, make the sky feel like your head, make the feeling of space in a room you are in go through you and inside you, etc. But all that is only really possible when every dot of your sense of self has dissolved, which is again, another sensation of space. Another thing is that, doing all this warping and stuff comes in different degrees. At first it's very mild if you are able to do it at all, but over time and practice, it feels very very real. You can make your body feel like it is literal air, clouds etc. The point of all this warping and all is that if you are able to do these basic things then space is obviously seen as an Illusion. For me, Time is a much more tricky beast. At one hand, it's obvious that only the now exists, but on the other, you don't know how to integrate it with the existing notion and sensation of time. For space it's easy for me to bridge between the relative and absolute realizations, which is that the difference between those comes from the rigid attachments we do. We attach/stitch lots and lots of different sensations and 'perceptions' together, which makes space rigid feeling. But for time, I don't know the bridge the gap. Hope this made sense..

had this once actually kept trying to see it again after a few weeks at 3 am or so when i woke up to pee. Did it every night I remembered. Nowadays when I look at the mirror, I never get the sense of "me" anymore like I used to. It's just an impersonal animal, not even a human. If I focus more, it becomes impersonality in its essence, and if I go even deeper, it becomes me, but so does everything else. and to be honest the 'devil in the mirror' only pops up if you have some unresolved area in your mind which houses this very terror/feeling/entity in its essence. You gotta deal with that. We house lots of these entities in our minds lol. Best way is to self induce a sleep paralysis state, think of the entity untill it manifests, and face it head on with love.

People seem to think this is all just because you WANT to look for the numbers, while that is true in many cases, it's not with me. I didn't know at all that synchronicity was a thing and it just started happening to me. After that I unknowingly started looking for them and it got insanely frequent. Nowadays, I do not care at all about this, nor do I assign meaning to them. But they still happen(only with 1111). Sometimes it baffles me how they popup from unexpected places. Like a stock footage used in some YouTube video I am watching, some advertisement, etc. I think it is just a sign that some or many of your internal processes are aligned with each other or something.