caspex

I hope you don't mind me asking some questions as well. How do you define sexual transmutation? How does it relate to AP?

Yeah that's true. In that case, IMO the need to be understood comes from lack of confidence in ones own subjective reality/having doubt about one's own subjective reality, leading one to develop a need to gather proof through validation to confirm one's not deluding themselves. a feeling of loneliness that comes when you're the only one to know a certain knowledge(according to your knowledge). Let's take an example. You have an insight regarding spirituality that's akin to discovering a new continent. If you have utter confidence in your direct experience then you wouldn't have a need to validate it. And if you have transcended loneliness to a good degree(by embodying love), you wouldn't feel the urge to share it to eliminate the uneasiness of loneliness. Ofcourse you'll still tell/share it because of other egoic reasons, but that then comes under the need to tell. IMO the need to tell/share in this example comes from: need to be understood (includes previous 2 points) afraid of dissolution of surface level ego/"I". Which then leads to a need to immortalize oneself by "claiming" findings, discoveries or experiences. See that second point is key imo. I find it that when I induce a state of no surface level ego/"I", I drop all my needs to share anything at all.

Find someone to talk about it to, talk and talk until you exhaust the urge. I am interested in this so I'd like you to tell me about your findings. It's important you talk to multiple people if you want exhaust the urge.

This took me a while to make, I am not like Bill

I'd say this is development. But keep in mind that the 'main character' is just as much a mob as the mobs themselves. This state of seeing can be produced in direct experience. So I'd say works towards that. Dissolve the duality between the main character and a mob.

It's just making shit up that it doesn't know. I asked it the current Chief Minister of Delhi and it said Barrack Obama, next it said Avril Lavigne, lol. It is giving more spiritual answers here and there though.

Thanks for this great post. I have recently opened up a little more to astral experiences, which has been my goal for two or so years. I had two astral projections while trying to sleep, for two days in a row, maybe a week back. I had experienced leaving my body and traveling altered versions of my surroundings and places I often visit. I was also able to wake up whenever I wanted to, as I could just think and I would be pulled back into my body. I haven't managed to reproduce this since. I have also been visited by two beings once, where they tried talking to me but I was too present and stunned to say anything, therefore they left and I woke up. Not sure what kind of beings they were, but it was a purely auditory experience and when I entered that space, it was as if I had dipped into the ocean. When I came back to my body, it was as if I had resurfaced from underwater. Can you please elaborate, if not here then in my DMs, how to form this protective circle around you when you meditate? My family is Hindu yet I have never heard of this.

Yeah these type of insights don't really do too much to cure your behaviors. You have to work on those separately. The mind is connected but when you change one part it doesn't always change other things connected to that changed part. The connections formed by the mind are irrational. To embody a realization means to change all these connections and the connected parts so that your entire mind now supports what you have realized, making that realization such as the no-self effortless to embody. The reason one can't sustain another state of realization is because the rest of the mind isn't transformed to support that yet. One thing you could do is break free from all your habits, good or bad, if you haven't already. I don't mean to say stop doing them. Just be conscious of what you're doing. You should be able to stop when you want to stop. If you ask an addict, why do they keep doing that habit, they would say it gives them peace of mind. But if they think some more, they realize it doesn't give them anything extra, it's just that if they don't do their habit, they'll feel uneasy and anxious. Even good habits can be this way, even if they provide benefits. Do you think this is a healthy way to live? Binding yourself to habits? Even if they are supposedly good? Think this: If you virtually don't gain anything from doing your habit, what is their to lose when you don't do it? This question isn't supposed to be completely logical and you can find holes in this kind of reasoning, however, it's supposed to make you gain awareness and break free from doing that habit. Once there was a ship out in the ocean, the crew ran out of food, but they didn't mind staying hungry for 15-20 days, what they were really worried about was that they ran out of cigarettes. They got so desperate they started smoking the ropes, even if it meant sabotaging their own ship. The captain somehow managed to get the ship back. This story was covered in a newspaper. Some guy, smoking a cigarette, read this article. He was very shocked at reading that people could get so desperate they would start smoking dirty ropes. He wanted to experience this himself. He put the half used cigarette on the astray and decided he would only smoke again if he got desperate enough to smoke dirty ropes. 20 years went buy and he kept waiting, watching intently when his desire would be enough to make him so desperate, but it never happened. He has tried to quit many times before, but failed. But something happened this time. What happened this time is that he was conscious of his desire. He wasn't half-dead regarding the awareness of his desire, he was fully aware and watching. The reason I am telling you all this is because when you are bound to habits/behavior patterns, anyone can push your buttons and make you feel a certain way. The reason your girlfriend had a field day with your superiority facet was because you are not really aware of your superiority facet. If you were truly aware of your patterns, you'd realize you are not them and be detached from them. So my advice is to develop your awareness and focus, and realize your patterns are not you. This is how you(awareness) take control of your mind.

@Rahra As someone contemplating whether to read the Quran I would like to know this as well

He's either gonna grow or form a cult. Hopefully his sincere efforts don't lead to a cult lol

Man I have taken a shit a bunch of times during my awakenings (don't ask why). Maybe I am just not awake enough

Fuck Fapping February sounds nice. I'll do my best to Fuck and Fap this February

@jelmar35 I think you're only looking at surface level thoughts and activity when you talk about (2). This is what I mean: You can stop all voices, sounds, images in the head and still function properly in your immediate environment. This is possible because none of that is necessary for action and decision making in the moment. Your mind functions normally, making assumptions, interpreting, projecting, reacting, just without gross thoughts. These subtle thoughts usually give rise to the gross thoughts. The most major subtle act of the mind is the Self. You're not actively thinking "Me, Me, Me" in a gross form right? But the self is still always there in the background. This is what assumptions, interpretations, worldviews, etc. are like. To transcend thought completely, I'd argue one needs to transcend these subtle activities of the mind as well, which necessarily includes transcending the self(It's a distinction). It's among the subtlest of the subtle thoughts and acts by the mind, that creates distinctions between things for the purposes of survival. It's so subtle of an act that it seems as if it is a fact. Creating a distinction between Red and Blue would be one of those things. The ability to notice subtle acts of the mind is called Mindfulness. Just doing practices to notice the illusion of self will increase your mindfulness in noticing other subtle distinctions. You really need to be on the lookout for these things. God's imagining all the distinctions(because it imagines (2)) but if you want to experience what it would be like without the distinctions, then you'd call that the experience of Oneness.

When you are talking about (3) you're still applying ideas that only apply at (2). Distinctions don't exist at (3). What I mean is, You mentioned how qualia precedes (2). I agree with that. But then you mention how even when you transcend (2), the quale of red is still different than blue. You haven't transcended (2). This is why they seem different, in your direct experience. Because your direct experience still contains the difference between them. They are not different AT ALL. There is no difference. Notice the difference between the two and try to put a finger on it. What you'll notice after a while is that you are imagining the difference. At (2). That difference is conceptual. How they should move or how they move is an idea at (2). The difference between two movements is also a (2) imagination. There is no difference between how a ball moves when rolling vs. a drop of rain falling down and splashing on the ground. This applies to shape, sound, objects, ideas, everything. The fact that the change in qualia at (3) is predictable means you didn't transcend (2). Because the prediction is happening at (2). By making a distinction between the present and the future, and between memories and qualia. Collapse that distinction and you wouldn't be able to think let alone predict. Movement itself would seem completely still because there would be no difference between an object being at one location in space time vs. another. At the same time, stillness would seem absolutely dynamic because there would no difference between stillness and dynamism. (3) with a total lack of (2) and (1) is completely homogeneous as you would imagine(at (1)). It's so homogeneous infact that it is no different from the heterogeneity at (2). It seems to me you haven't properly experienced a lack (2). Maybe you collapsed the distinction of the idea of "objects" but that doesn't automatically include other ideas like shape, odour, color, movement, time, space, self etc. All of that needs to be individually worked on. The first time I realized that my keyboard was physically(not even metaphysically) the same as my hands, I physically recoiled because I thought the keyboard and my hand would merge, as if the keyboard was gonna attack me. Sounds ridiculous but it triggered a reflex. It can get real creepy if you don't collapse the distinction of self and everything else beforehand. You need to address all the factors when removing (2) and they are really easy to miss. At the end you have to collapse the distinction between all these factors and between (1), (2) and (3) themselves. I mean, just (3) is pure beingness. That's what you necessarily end up with if you get rid of all the distinctions, which are at (2) in your model. Or so I assumed, after re-reading your post, it seems (2) only contains the connecting of dots and concepts. That assumes a distinctions between concepts. So yeah, I see how you would logically arrive at distinctions being at (3). In that case, God's imagination/Qualia would start at (4) which precedes all distinctions of (3). But ultimately contains (1), (2) and (3) as well.

https://imgur.com/gallery/hkNUbYR This has got most of it.

Thanks for pointing this out. Being Orange myself, I didn't even think of that lol

@Thought Art I remember now, your song Walls(great song btw) was mentioned along with Time Stops in some thread here some time ago. That's why I confused yours with that one. That one was made by "Julian Gabriel", know anyone like that on the forum?

Didn't you have a song called Time Stops? I cannot find it anymore and the video is gone. I really liked it. The video had the same cover picture as the one in Walls.

This test can't capture my genius! I should've scored a 0! That's how humble I am!

Vegetables can taste better than meat depending on how you cook it and how you feel. I find myself wanting to eat a light vegetable dish for dinner the day I eat a heavy meat filled lunch. Look into other cuisines and don't be afraid to try new recipes even if they look non-enticing. I am Indian and I cook from the Indian Cuisine every day. For Indian Cuisine, truth is that as complicated as it might look in a cook book it really doesn't take that long unless you are making something specially over the top. You should try curries. Even meat curries have tomatoes, onions, coriander and what not in them. And don't bother with making naans to eat with the curries, go for rotis, once you get the hang of it(will take a couple days), you'll be making 4 rotis in 15 minutes ready to be eaten with the curry. Also if you're gonna do all this then there is no need to bother with Salads. I eat vegetables everyday and I have never once made a salad, because it's plain and boring even as a side dish. Have some red carrots lying around as well for a quick snack. Make sure they are a little thin. You can eat them as a snack every few days when you get bored. At first you might not like them because you're not used to them, but they are sweet and taste real nice. If you worry about calories then you gotta pick and choose what oils you use for your curries, and don't order Indian food from restaurants. Sure it tastes good but it's gonna be overflowing with calories.

It helps if you correct your posture. If you're posture was bad, you might suddenly find yourself breathing in a lot more air in the belly and because it feels so good, you might not have to worry about make it a habit. I don't know though. I never stopped belly breathing. Everyone in my family belly breathes.

I would enjoy it if you invested as well to fix bugs and also improve the forum design. I mean the designs subjective, but I'd personally enjoy the feel to be a bit more smoother. Unless the feeling of jaggedness is intentional, I'd like it to be modernized more. Also adding quality of life features like clicking on that grey space outside the post you are looking at, to go back out to the forum you were browsing. Instead of the alternative that is clicking the back button. You know, how reddit does it.

I don't want to rank all 100 of them in a Top 100 but I will list them down in no particular order. Here I go Assuming I understand some concept Biased Underestimating my own abilities Overestimating my own abilities Distracting myself through entertainment Emotional Grief that can be easily solved if I just work on it Procrastination The concept of "Deserving" Unrealistic Expectations for my goals Unrealistic Expectations of other people's behaviour Ego, even though 'I' know it's false by experience Thinking that Reality isn't perfect or one even though I have seen it to be Intentionally causing worry to distract myself Underestimating tasks Overestimating tasks Moving on from something and ignore it when really I know I should think on it Thinking in dualities Assuming that History contains only that which I have been told Assuming that I know fairly well how the world works Cherry picking excuses to not do something but not thinking of counter arguments to the excuses Not using the cherry picking strategy to convince myself to do things that are productive Assuming I'll die at atleast 60 or above Assuming that I have a fairly good idea of my future will go in the coming weeks when the success rate of those predictions is below 50% Assuming that my future will be a certain way so I have no need to worry Saying that I could do it if I really wanted to Assuming something is just a waste of time simply because I don't want to look into it Assuming I won't like something simply because it's new Assuming that what's familiar will always stay familiar Assuming that what's familiar will always work the same way Assuming that there is something outside my direct Pov, even though I have no evidence for it Thinking that I am making progress by only thinking of the successes when in reality I am regressing Excessive modelling to escape action Overestimating the time it will take to do something Not continuing a project simply because I was off it for a while and can't remember what I did last, and therefore assuming that to reintroduce myself to the project will be a pain Same as 34 but instead starting over when there is no need to Convincing myself that something I did was alright when really it wasn't Using teachings that I don't embody to justify actions or thoughts comparing myself to others to make myself do or not do things Doing things that I don't really want to do, simply because it's convenient Attached to Leo but think that I am not all talk no action thinking I am so good after helping someone out Indulging in habits that nullify each other's progress and blaming it on the good habit instead of the bad one, and then eliminating the good habit as ineffective Assuming that I understand someone Assuming that I CAN understand someone/something Bookmarking stuff to get back to it later, but in reality that's just an excuse to not look at it Making excuses to not to do uncomfortable tasks Assumption Thinking that the state I produced after 30 seconds of thinking(to remember) is on par with the state that I originally produced after hours of thinking Same as 49 but instead of states it's realization Thinking that conclusions are possible thinking that I am not repeating myself in this list even though I am telling myself that I don't care even though I do telling myself that I care even though I don't double standards getting angry to shut someone up instead of hearing them out because I know they have a point Telling myself that I'll do something the next day, but use some sort of excuse to not to do it when the moment comes. Thinking that I won't do 57 again Doing something I don't like and don't have to do Not doing something that I like and could do Striking that exquisite balance of good and bad decisions to keep my life as it is, but then blame the lack of improvement on external factors Time Memories Ignoring stuff that will produce low self esteem, instead of working on them or my beliefs about those things (Eg. Not being able to socialize) Misjudging which task my is time better spent on Blaming Lack of commitment on myself but not doing anything about it Blaming myself for being a certain way but not doing anything about it "I am not like people" "It doesn't really matter" Agreeing with someone but phrasing your response as if you didn't just agree "I can't do this, I don't have time for it" but then doing tasks that waste time Mistaking ignorance for self-deception just to complete this list, and not doing anything about it Cutting corners because 54 Lying to people causing me to lie to myself about what I really want Making estimates for my progress in the future instead of making progress. Eg. Dang if I read 20 pages a day I'll read 600 by the end of the month! Explaining to someone why I am the victim in this situation (Even though I am not) Exaggerating how I felt to guilt someone Overestimating my own morality. "I am a good person" Finding justifications but no counter arguments to a thing I wanna believe Being sloppy with my worldview, knowing about it deep down, wanting to fix that, but being too lazy to do it Waiting for external factors to tell me what to do Waiting for external factors to do something, when there is no need to Not doing anything about the things that I know I should do something about "I am too conscious/developed for that" "Haha look at these losers, I'll never do what they are doing" "My future would go exactly how I imagine it to be!" even though I realize that isn't the case Compromising where there is literally no need Creating problems for myself, because 13, but ignoring the fact that I did so. "He's wrong about this, I know better" when I know that it's probably the other way around Defending my worldview, when I know from past experience I should be more open to change Thinking I won't: "I'll wake up at 5 tmrw" At 5: "Meh, I'll sleep till 7, it doesn't really matter, 7 is still early" Thinking it wasn't really my fault that I broke the promise. "If it wasn't for x, I'd have kept the promise!" Thinking "I should do this" again and again but never doing it. "I didn't do it for me! I did it for you!" Worrying about my Reputation when there is no need Making promises that I know deep down I'll most likely break Saying Yes to the familiar and saying No the New, but then complaining about the monotony of life "I am so amazing for completing this list and not being lazy!" even though I know this is just basic effort Not making spiritual efforts and saying "I am just focusing on the Practical aspect of life for now, I'll be spiritual later!" when I know that stuff such as meditating are the most basic things you can do and spiritual efforts are usually intermixed with practical ones, just less intense when the focus is on the practical. Not reading people's entire posts and skipping to the end thinking "I should read it", "This'll probably be insightful" "I don't have the time"(But then wasting the time you so saved)

@Ulax Yes, if our interests match @Leo Gura I'd rather PM you about it than to explain it here. Check your PM