caspex

well chatgpt is a bad example because it's not trained to teach, nor is it trained in a narrow subject to have very specialized knowledge. If an AI was also trained, in addition to teaching, on the kinds of questions students ask for that particular subject, it'll be a godly teacher.

For the basic stuff AI can do a good job if specifically trained to teach for a particular subject... even better, for a particular syllabus in a subject. You could supply videos with an AI trained to answer questions regarding that video/topic. Humans can then focus on teaching more advanced topics.

This is why being honest is important to remain whole. Lying fragments you. This is why honesty entails integrity.

I would like to add the nuance that Self-Actualization goes hand in hand with solving your inner issues. Hence all the different sub-forums. No one is really doing spirituality or actualization after being perfectly healed inside.

A Terrible Dream I slept for maybe 2 hours right after waking up and talking to a few people in the morning. In those 2 hours I had a dream in which my parents (who don't live with me), and some fairly old woman with white hair tied back (felt as if she was some divine energy, at the time I thought it could have been Hanumana), were seen entering my home as I stood at the entrance. I was happy to have my parents back at home, and apparently we were moving in a bunch of new items for the home such as furniture and such. It was being done by some worker men. When entered, in one of the sections of the home I saw a woman, looked like in her later 20s and slim, standing behind a counter. (We have that counter at home.). Behind her on the wall were the days of the week and above each day was placed a statue of Hanumana, except for Friday on top of which was Krishna. We were deciding where to place something I can't remember, on the days so to make them lucky in the coming future. I could remember my real life by the way. We all have a mental map at all times that maps out what you think will happen in the near future, for example you know it'll be your friend's birthday in 3 days and that's on your mind. I had not forgotten that mental map of the future unlike my other dreams. That's when one of my tooth became loose and I asked her what this could mean. (I was semi-aware this is a dream). She said it's a sign of death, your death. It's a bad sign. My mom was visibly worried and so was I. I asked for a solution and what to do. She said to simply to not think about it and wait till she visits me in real life. She said she'll have to drive, in real life, all the way to my place, and take me to Vrindavan (a holy place in India) for rituals and bathing. That's how I'd be able to escape this. My father was in the kitchen at the time, when he came out the woman told something like "Your power is around 307.". My father visibly confused, said that his age is only around 50. As they kept talking I could feel my grip on the dream losing and I very, very smoothly transitioned from the dream to my sleeping body, at which point I opened my eyes. Shocked, I searched up the meaning of having a loose teeth or breaking teeth in a dream according my culture, and low and behold, it means very bad luck. Some sort future attack, spiritual or material. It's suffice to say that I was very worried after that. Especially because I had a similar vivid dream a week ago where I shot and killed, in a very realistic way. In that dream I even saw my soul leave my body. I don't have these kinds of dreams often so I am very spooked. I believe this is somehow connected to the Bhakti practice I am doing. I contacted someone I know about this, a close friend of my family. She asked her Guru about this who is into deity worship big time. He told me to do a few things around the house, but overall said there is nothing to worry about. It's just that some deities are little angry at me. He gave a reason for why and a simple solution, which I can't disclose here since it's too personal. Anyways, this made me really tensed and paranoid. I had already decided to do a 100 Hanuman Chalisas for today's pooja and promised Hanumana yesterday, so I followed through with the promise. In today's pooja I asked Hanumana to destroy any sort of trouble on me or my family is there is one, or if there any trouble headed our way. What I Realized from Today's Pooja (3.5 Hours Long) Today I changed my outlook on Hanumana from simply a guru to also a big brother. I also brought in a sense of independence within my Bhakti today. Result was that I was flooded with optimism with proper logic backing it. Hanumana has a soft heart, yet I kept imagining him as some stern guru. I realized that I need to bring optimism and energy in my mindset. I am way too paranoid and irrational. It's like I have given up all sort of rationality and sense of individuality since I started Bhakti and that has let my inner fears gain more existence within me. It legit feels like I am going Insane. What I need to do is to become more Sane. Bhakti is not about becoming irrational. That's surrendering the wrong way. You need to maintain a sense of individuality even if you connect no-self realization to Bhakti. Bhakti makes you more SANE. Atleast Bhakti of Hanumana does. It makes you so SANE that others seem insane by comparison. Bhakti is not about complete dependence on the deity. It's like any other relationship. You maintain a sense of individuality and independence yet you love them dearly and have great reverence. My second realization was that doing 21 chalisas a day is wayyyy too weak. At least when it comes to personal and spiritual development. The whole process I described earlier connecting Spiral Dynamics with Bhakti of Hanumana will only really work when you do at least 51 - 100 chalisas a day. It imbues you with so much energy that you can't resist but destroy all the negativity within you. I have heard that you need to build the capacity to be able to hold the power it generates doing so many chalisas a day, and I am all for it. Tomorrow I'll do 21 and that'll complete my 11 day sankalpa for doing minimum 21 chalisas a day. I am thinking of simply starting to do 100 a day again and take a sankalpa for 41 days. But I'll need to think on it before I make such a commitment. But this dream has made me so paranoid, I might as well do it, because such a Sankalpa will easily curb the effects of such trouble. But I am worried, such massive Sankalpas invite tests and trouble to prevent completion. It wouldn't be a problem if it was just about sitting 3.5 hours a day and reciting chalisas with love. You also have to abstain from Onion, Garlic, Non-Veg and Alcohol. You have to visit Hanumana Temple every Tuesday and Saturday as well. All while abstaining from masturbation and sexual thoughts. I have already been doing all of this since I began Bhakti, but I can imagine myself fucking up during the 41 days.

How you deal with distractions depends on what it's distracting you from. If your goal is to simply learn as fast as possible allot a good chunk of your day specifically for learning and another for exploration. Learn in a different environment than the one you explore or distract yourself in though. Maybe a different desktop on your pc or a different device altogether. But these external changes are only an aid. The main solution is internal. If you take anything seriously enough, nothing can distract you from it. Notice how you take other things in your life seriously, and apply that mental process to what you want to learn. Do not allow your mind to develop rationalizations as to why it's not that important/serious, and that you are devoting too much emotion to it. Your mind could be right, however it doesn't matter what it says. There's a mind behind your thoughts. Therefore it's possible to control one's thoughts. You'd have to be strict with yourself, but it is possible to direct your thoughts towards a certain task by not letting any other thoughts interfere. I wish I could describe to you how, however you can figure it out. I am talking thoughts all the way back to the thoughts that you simply 'sense' before it becomes non-verbal then verbal. You can control even that. There's this sort of 'direction' mind before the 'thinking' mind so to speak. It spans the whole body rather than just the head. I think the better way to call it is the 'vibe' that you are feeling in your body. You have the ability to directly control that vibe and direct your thoughts and energy anywhere you want. If you ever feel "I don't feel like it today", you have the ability to directly change that vibe to "I feel like it today". You don't need to do anything external or think any thoughts. It does depend on the strength of the vibe if you can change it or not, however you do get better as you keep practicing this direct control. I don't know how much of that made sense. This is the first time I am verbalizing this process. Well, hopefully this helps.

The period where you didn't fap was probably so different from your normal life of fapping that when you came back to fapping that period of nofap didn't seem real.

1 August ' 23 I have just come back from doing today's pooja. I started it as soon as I finished writing the last post, and man... every time I do pooja of Hanumana my ego gets a serious beating. I see how I bullshit myself, it's like nothing can be hidden from Hanumana. Even though I try not to hide anything from Hanumana, I do self-deceive, and it becomes apparent during the pooja. As an ego, I am pathetic. I mean that I am such a pathetic being that I keep inflating myself. Everyday Hanumana beats up my ego and I build it right back the next day. What the fuck am I doing... I AM NOTHING COMPARED TO MY POTENTIAL. That's the main point I need to get through my head. My mind, in actuality, is that of a child compared to what I believe it to be. I love myself dearly, and I can't bear looking at myself like this. It's for this love that I must look at myself as who I really am. It's for this love that I must stop being so petty, so stupid. Note to self: If you are feeling good, and become attached to it(not wanting it to end), you have built back ego. Update By the way, I took a Sankalpa around a week ago that I'll do 21 chalisas each day for 11 days. (Takes an hour twenty minutes each day) It was my first proper Sankalpa so I was nervous that I might fail it if I make it too ambitious. You cannot fail a Sankalpa at any point otherwise everything you have done in the Sankalpa so far goes to waste and that's a big setback in your Bhakti. This one will end on the 3rd of August and I plan to begin a new one the day after. This time it'd be 51 chalisas for 21 days(2 - 2.5 hours each day). I plan to eventually build up my capacity for Bhakti. My goal is to do a 41 day Sankalpa where I do 100 Chalisas a day. (3.5 - 4 Hours per day). This one is supposed to grant some wish of yours, but it's also supposed to get harder as the days go on and you'll be faced with many dilemmas and tests. At least that'd what I have heard from others talking about it when they did it. I plan to begin that one with the intent to gain some sort of Siddhi. Obviously it won't be one of the main 8, that's out of bounds for even a 41 day Sankalpa. However, you do have a chance to gain Hanumana Siddhi from it. Which is that Hanumana or one of his envoy beings(which are practically Hanumana himself) will stay with you at all times, protecting you and helping you out. In this fashion, you are also able to ask them to help someone else, or do exorcisms. You'd also be able to ask Hanumana to take you on Astral Trips. I mean it largely varies depending on what Hanumana allows for you. Regardless, there is a possibility that if you ask Hanumana for some minor Siddhis like being able to see the future, read minds or other such powers, and Hanumana deems you fit, he'd actually give that to you. And if I am able to gain such a Siddhi, I'll be able to prove once and for all that deities really do exist, and all the other good stuff that it implies! This is something I have been curious about since childhood. Even if I don't get anything, I'll likely continue on Bhakti because it's not really about the Siddhis to begin with.

Connecting Spiral Dynamics and Bhakti(Of Hanumana) I'll do this multiple times as this thread marches forward with time. Reason being that I'll draw more connections as I keep doing Bhakti and it'd be a disservice to any reader to try cramp it all up into one post. This post would not be systematic in drawing connections but rather would just consist of my thoughts and observations so far. It'll focus on Bhakti of Hanumana as I don't have a lot of experience in the overall practice of Bhakti to draw meaningful connections. It seems at first that all Bhakti of Hanumana (I'll refer to as simply 'Bhakti' from now on) does is give someone like a Stage Red Savage meaning and purpose in life to evolve to Stage Blue, like most other religious practices. However, while it does do that, it's so much more than that. Hanumana not only wants you to integrate fully stage Blue by following his rules, he will also help you get your shit together and integrate Stage Orange quite smoothly. More than that, so far, I have gained amazing, and I mean AMAZING integration in Stage Green. Through devotion and love towards Hanumana and Rama, my capacity to love anything has increased a lot. I am a lot more gentle with people and a lot more understanding. I have gained great understanding into selflessness and love. It's to be expected after all! When you consistently, consciously and unconditionally love anything for hours everyday, you'd expect your understanding of unconditional love to skyrocket. From what I have understood so far through my research into Bhakti, it seems what Hanumana really wants for you before he teaches you anything spiritual, is to atleast reach Stage Yellow in a complete fashion. Meaning everything prior is already integrated. It's quite evident because every advanced devotee seems to say that Hanumana loves it when you follow your Dharma(A combination of following your dreams/desires/life purpose and doing your duties/taking responsibility for your role in whichever holon you are a part of) Being able to properly follow your Dharma easily indicates a well integrated Stage Blue, Orange AND Green person. If you ever have a hard time understanding Dharma, know that it is what a Stage Yellow Person completely integrated in the prior stages would act like. To know what that looks like, read Ramayana and Mahabharata. Let's be honest however, it's more the practice of Bhakti itself doing its magic than Hanumana himself. Hanumana likely comes in much later(in matters of self-development) as you get better at his Bhakti. I think this is because the reason you'd see your flaws and the solution to them, is because Hanumana is just that perfect of an idol. Once you completely focus on him, it's easy to see your own shortcomings in comparison to him. He shows you what you could be, and through shame you better yourself bit by bit. Even if you are not ashamed, you cannot resist the pull of that goodness of being so filled with integrity. Simple Bhakti of Hanumana gives you a little taste of what it means to be with integrity, and you can't resist going towards that. This, all on top of the unconditional love you are generating and receiving. This love quite literally PURIFIES your mind and your ego. You beat down your ego each day like hitting the gym but instead of lifting weights you are pulling bars made of love. This makes it even easier to make changes in yourself according to those adjustments you so see. Hanumana and Rama give you a finish line and loving them is running towards it. If you do Bhakti properly each day, it's inevitable you'll almost completely integrate Tier 1 someday. It's INEVITABLE. But that doesn't guarantee an integration of Stage Yellow. That'll only happen if your intent is so. Because here is where the supernatural aspect comes in. Hanumana is a deity. He is supposed to be a being outside of your head(let's not get solipsistic for now). He will help you materially if you are genuine about it. He will also bestow upon you Siddhis if you so work for them through Sadhanas. (From what I have heard) And you can leave it all at that. You don't have to go further than that. But if you ask Hanumana, he's supposed to take you beyond, into Stage Yellow, Turquoise and beyond. I don't have any experience in this, but this is what I have heard. Spiral Dynamics is not a perfect model and neither is my understanding of it or that of Bhakti for that matter. This is what I have gathered so far and it is rather half-baked, as are most things jotted down in a journal. So as is usual, employ your own logic and take what seems to work for you. I can tell that these observations are full of holes but I am sure I'll realize and correct them as I go forward.

it's because of that suffering that one really grows as fast they do in the 70-90 years you get. Realistically if you prioritized your growth you'd choose this type of life anytime. You choose an easy life because you prioritize your ego. While that leads to growth(like literally everything else) it's hella slow compared to what suffering gets you. Besides, life isn't fair. There's no guarantee that boundaries and forms in reality completely dissolve after your physical death. It's obvious that if you truly die in every sense of the word you'd become God, but you don't know if that is what will happen when you die physically. It could be that there is an entire astral world with its own rules and regulations, own laws, that you have to deal with after you die, that too without a physical body and a mental mind. Maybe you have an astral body and stuff. I'd say it's wise to listen to various traditions you trust and figure something out that way, and to not assume physical death is true death.

Jerking off seems mechanical even in comparison to the sober states of pleasurable awakening I have personally reached, I can't imagine it comparing to what 5-Meo has to offer.

What I needed as a 13 year old was the ability to be independent. My parents actually gave me a ton of freedom but I needed that push to make independent decisions apart from the help of my elders. I never got that at the time and I had to learn it the hard way in the last few years. (I am 19 in 2 months). Not only inspire but get him to join fields and communities that you know he'll excel at or get some sort of achievement in, and then praise him for it. He should be praised for being a man. He should feel responsible and reliable. The thing lacking at the age is a sense of direction for most teenage boys and you trying to figure out how to be responsible and reliable as you approach 15-16 years of age. There is a lack of certainty due to inexperience. This is what his male idols should provide him, before he can develop his own sense of independence and direction. As a mother you should definitely provide him with a lot more love, genuine love. Softness, tenderness and gentleness. You should be the one teaching him humbleness and empathy. Selflessness for the sake of love and nothing else. The reason you should be the one doing these things is because it's way more effective from a mom than a dad. A simple act of motherly embrace can teach him a lot more empathy than any logical explanation of why. If you show him what true authentic femininity looks like it will steer him away from porn or sex addiction. It will also help in finding a good partner. The reason for that is because you would be that one female(if he doesn't have sisters, in which case them too) he doesn't view sexually but with respect, love and admiration in his life. This teaches a man to transmute that creative energy towards a female from becoming sexual to that of admiration and love. Because of this ability, he'll have control over his sexual urges if he wishes to develop that capacity later in life. Which is one of the most important abilities for a man with integrity. All I am saying is that while it's important to mainly focus on all the masculine aspects that you and other male role models can give to him, you should not forget to give a secondary focus on feminine qualities such as gentleness and empathy, which need not be taught but just shown to him. The reason I emphasize this because others here have already given advice focuses on masculinity, and that is also what would be the most prevalent advice on this forum.

The imperfect being is stuck in a cycle, the perfect being has transcended it

Leo's way of awakening is very destructive but also fast. Of course relationships will crumble. But that isn't to say you can't build them back once you are at a sufficiently stable growth rate.

When you strip away everything and see the oneness between you and another, and then bring in your ego and see that it too, is one with the other, you'll feel love as is natural. Feeling love is the natural state, everything else is on top of it for survival reasons. You don't need a reason to love. You don't need to see any inherent value or redeeming qualities within someone to love them, that's bullshit.

The "control" is an illusion. It seems concrete because you have firmly established you awareness within your ego which is the one doing any controlling. But when you transcend that, you transcend your experience in a way that you paradoxically become your experience. There you realize that this control is an illusion like everything else. It will be apparent to you that there is no difference between the 'not controlling of your neighbor's hands' and 'controlling of your own hands'. Yourself will become akin to a lying a rock, and a lying rock will become akin to you. The duality of alive and dead collapses and so does of the controlled and non-controlled. It's a very literal experience, you don't have to imagine anything.

God is Infinite so it should be possible for a truly immortal existence to exist. Even if it is contradictory and paradoxical. Since Time is only a part of God, for something to exist infinitely would be no big deal. Thing is, in our current state of consciousness, with our limited knowledge and human logic, we cannot determine these things. It'd be stupid to be certain of any conclusion here.

Usually I catch it in my hands and let it out the window. But there are situations where killing is unavoidable.

Insight: Purification I was doing my daily pooja when I could suddenly see the various folds / patterns in my mind that were blockages to a naturally self-realized mind. They looked disgusting and it made me realize something. I need to purify all of this from my mind, not only that, but I need to purify my body, my speech and also my actions. I thanked Hanumana for the insight and realized something else. I had asked Hanumana to become my Guru when I started. And I have been receiving relevant insights for my life every time I do the pooja, even on the days I feel the Bhakti didn't go that well. That's a connection I am willing to make. These insights seem to be giving me directions as to what to do to become pure / capable enough to even become a disciple of Hanumana. It seems one needs to be at least stage Yellow with all of the previous stages FULLY integrated. Which also means you have an excellently well integrated shadow. In addition one would need to follow a particular way of living too. Let me expand on this insight I got. This is not objective, it is subjective to my life and who I am. Purification of the Body: Drink a lot of water. 8 glasses of water is nearly not enough as is recommended. It really depends on what you eat. The more junk, oil and processed shit you eat the more water you need. Water is a purification liquid. It will purify your body of a lot if you just drink enough of it. I don't know how much this is backed by science, but I this is what I have received. Don't have excess body fat. Around 20% should be ideal with some muscle and such. Diet should contain very less oil, should be completely vegetarian and avoid onion and garlic. (Reason being non-veg, onion and garlic increase sexual urges and can make you feel heavier). No alcohol as well. Goes without saying but no cigarettes or harmful drugs / substances. Cardio everyday. Should be more than you think you need. It's more important than any sort of strength training. Always wear clean clothes(avoid dark colors), smell good and have a clean body. Live in a clean and good-smelling environment. Purification of the Mind: The blockages I saw that should completely be eliminated from ones mind were arrogance, fear, greed, lust, envy, gluttony and anger. Yes, I just realized I have listed down the seven deadly sins. Yes, I am shocked as well. These blockages in comparison to how pure your mind can be are absolutely disgusting. Having these plague your mind is like being covered in wounds festering and infected, with flies buzzing all around. It's like you are a dead rat with maggots eating you from the inside out. I am serious, this is how disgusting these blockages really are. Of course one should do the usual shadow work and other spiritual or psychological practices to integrate themselves out of these blockages, but here's a way to speed up the process, like adding grease to gears. Chant the name of Rama. It would only work though if you have a good idea of the character of Rama in the Ramayana and from other sources. The man is literally the ideal man. He is the perfect idol. Chanting his name would impart you with his qualities as you constantly think of his qualities and devote yourself to him. Some men would be insecure about submitting to another man, but the humbleness required to do so is exactly what will aid you to gain mastery over your mind and emotions. Besides, he is not just any man, he is literally the ideal male archetype. From what I have heard, chanting his name also works for females. Should also mix up with chanting 'Sita-Ram'. Sita is the name of his wife and you should see her as your mother. Appreciate her character as well and you'll see how pure the love between the two was. It'll melt your ego seeing their love. Which is what is supposed to happen every time you chant that. Make sure your love for Ram and Sita makes the chanting physically pleasurable otherwise you can't really continue chanting that. Treat it as a fun activity. It's better than using your phone on the toilet. When you take their names you should be aware you are taking the names of literal spiritual giants. If you don't already know then research into the four yugas according to Hinduism. They were towards the end of the second Yuga when almost everyone was naturally self-realized. Just imagine such a world, and then know that even among people of this yuga they were hailed as Gods. Purification of Action and Speech: Don't lie and deceive. Don't speak ill of others. Don't steal and all the other bad shit. Do good deeds. Follow your Dharma. Dharma is a complex topic to explain and it doesn't always just mean following your duties. It also means following your purpose as a being incarnated onto this earth. Whether you are aware of this purpose or not is a different matter. I believe that's a problem exclusive to the last yuga which we are supposedly in right now. Obviously people can't follow these perfectly or their lives would fall apart or their environment doesn't allow them to follow these, therefore just follow to the extent you can. Why this matters: If you follow these rules from the position of love of the other (and not ego), such actions and speech will build up over time and you'll be imparted with this sense of power and good-will towards others that you cannot generate on your own. Your character and integrity becomes so strong that you become unbreakable and are able to achieve feats you could not before. If it isn't already obvious I am having a Stage Blue Awakening, and that's important for the awakenings later on. Reminding you once again that this is a subjective list specifically tailored to me. Some of this might not work for you.

Same goes with sexual activities like masturbation and sex, with or without porn in the mix. I have only realized what you said recently when I left masturbation and other forms of food that causes drastic changes in state. Without all of these things that change your state you actually feel much lighter at your baseline and contemplation is much easier. States of sober awakening are also much more stable. Personally, it's much easier to generate pleasant feelings in the body and the mind.

I would argue for spiritual people they should not even masturbate and figure out a way to transcend it. What affects more a person is their diet and lifestyle habits than their natural inclination to being sexual. I believe almost every human being has the capability to transcend even sexual thoughts if they just live the right way. I had stopped masturbating for a week, two weeks, even a month, but I felt so frustrated and stressed that I started once again. This cycle of relapsing kept going for over a year. If I had taken your advice here I would still be masturbating every other day because that was natural for me. Later on I changed my diet and lifestyle according to yogic and vedic teachings and I have easily held off even sexual thoughts since day one, and it'll be a month soon for me. Infact, I have not even had any wet dreams. I have stopped consuming all content with even a little sexuality in it. With my other spiritual practices, I feel much better in my day to day life and lighter, so I don't even think I am missing out by not masturbating because my baseline occasionally becomes better than the state of orgasm (serious). What I am trying to say is, if you are truly serious about spirituality you should seriously consider leaving sexuality behind, because it frees up a lot of time and space in your life and in your head. For example, sleep is natural and feels good and is even healthy, but if you could permanently leave it behind (with a naturally peaceful waking state) then you would take that offer. It is similar with sex and I believe most here are not that serious about spirituality to even try such a radical change for a year or two to truly see how much better it feels. Obviously with psychedelics it doesn't matter but if you give any fucks about your baseline, properly leaving sex behind has amazing benefits. I have never truly indulged in the nofap community so I don't know what they say about this matter. I think your average person doesn't need to leave masturbation behind and what you said should apply to your average person, but not to a person who is seriously spiritual.

Once the energy manifests itself as sexual within you it's already too late. The transmutation happens before it becomes sexual in nature, before you feel horny. It's the state where you can easily become horny but you are not horny at all. In this state of potentiality when you invest emotionally in something the energy transmutes automatically.

You can't get over it because you are insecure comparing yourself to the other men. Realize sex is a small part of the world and your relationship. All that matters is how the past body count affects the personality and attitude of the girl towards you. If she is intelligent and conscious, it shouldn't matter what her body count is.

I think most people who do pickup have unresolved emotional problems

I have tried playing with advanced metaphysical concepts and explaining them to it, which takes a lot from you to do by the way so it's good practice, and I have learned that ChatGPT simply forgets some founding concept of your main concept that you explained to it a while ago. This makes teaching it complex concepts through chatting impossible.