Hello,
(I hope this is the right forum)
I was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago and I am currently undergoing chemotherapy. I am 29 years old.
Spirituality and the teachings of Leo, Eckhart Tolle as well as the approaches of Nonduality as a whole enrich me a lot and give me stability. At the moment I am not working and use the time to get in touch with myself. I am very grateful to be able to do this (I live in Germany). For this I do a lot physically,too: every day I spend an hour in nature and I practice Qi Gong.
Dealing with the situation spiritually lets me learn a lot about myself. I have been working on my shadows for years and meditation always helps me a lot. Even now.
Unfortunately I often have problems because I want to do everything right.
I am so afraid that I won't make it or that I might fall ill again. The risk is there, not few women experience that. Because of these fears (and obviously my pathological attachment to them) it is so difficult for me to visualise a positive vision of my future. Maybe I will never be able to have children. Never live without fear. When I think about it, so much sadness and helplessness fills me.
I have the feeling that meditation and reading books or journaling only relieves me for a short time, but this fear always resonates. So often I fall into the victim mode and am not present and therefore suffering. And then I am hard on myself again because my life depends on healing my shadows and being confident about myself. And that the cause of the illness lies in these shadows and that I want to arrange my life in such a way that I always stay healthy puts me under so much pressure.
I always felt so lost and overwhelmed growing up and i never had „real“ obstacles, they were always in my head. Now there is this existential crisis and I do not know where to start. Always the question "what if I don't make it?“
everything overwhelms me.
Please help me. Thank you
