Curious

@Cocolove Thanks ! A very good video indeed @Emerald ! So, in that context, would my shadow aspect be the part of me wanting that person, which was obviously repressed after the rejection ? And in that context, just being aware of it (like what happened over the years) will gradually let it go ?

@Cocolove @Hello from Russia Thanks for your advice Forgive my ignorance but what exactly is shadow work ? Like what are the practices ? Is there already a "shadow work how to" video ?

@universe Thank you for your advice ! I was re-visualizing this moment and the feeling that came up was quite physical: A subtle achy pain in my chest area, front (around the sternum) and back (around the spine). It felt like something was kinda blocked there. I tried to understand this feeling, and pardon the cheesiness but I think it was the love for her that I felt, and which I couldn't express after the rejection, that kinda staid stuck in there. After the rejection, we were not even saying hi to each other while we were in the same class everyday for 3 years (which is also my bad because I chose not to stay friends after). So before falling asleep, I tried to visualize kinda "sending" her this old love I felt wherever she is to get it out of my system. Waking up this morning the chest/back area felt better. But then again I might be totally misinterpreting this and it could just be normal back pain feeling better after the night laying in bed

@mandyjw Thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes i have these empty awareness experience, without identifying much to my mind's self-story. It is almost like being the guardian angel of the particular body-mind one is assigned to. And while in those high awareness states, sometimes this particular pain comes back. Oh man, how hard it was... Being 3 years in the same classroom after being rejected was quite a thing. Maybe more time is needed still for it to disolve.

Hi all, So sometimes (maybe once or twice a year) I have memories from this hard time popping back up for a few days, like now, via dreams mostly. This heartache was a rejection back in my mid-teens (not the first one then but certainly the hardest), so the hormones were high ! The girl was the first one I really be-friended, and so the rejection was the hardest. Until then, nothing anormal. But I have had two long term relationships and it has been 10 years since then. And it still keeps coming back ! I do not know what I am supposed to do with that. I think I listen to these hard feelings that come back from that time, so what am I doing wrong then ? Am I a freak or do some of you experience or experienced this ? Any advice ? Thanks for reading

I actually thought that this was what the free-rider problem was pointing to So, how can this one be solved ? If one of the three poles (China, USA, EU) go for unregulated hyper-capitalism, then all ill-intended billionaires will just transfer their money there. It's like the prisoner's dilemma ! Because each pole is afraid to lose wealth from the ultra-rich to one of the other pole, they just bend over backwards to accommodate them... And even within the EU, we have Luxembourg, Switzerland, Monaco, even Ireland... ! All these tax havens. And now, soon, even the UK ! Can you believe this ? If the UK gets out they can just slash all taxes to attract all HQ of corporations, and that will seriously mess with our Welfare system.

@Nahm Alright thanks for the suggestions. Will continue purging with 1hour long meditations.

Thanks guys @Nahm @ajasatya. So, as a practice, do you suggest keeping on meditation and maybe starting Kriya Yoga ? And I assume psychedelics is a bit too risky for me ?

Existential Loneliness. Applied spiritual Sollipsism. As described in the new video, many facets of awakening: at 30:00. As Leo explain at 31:10, this is pretty fucking brutal. And tbh I just don't understand why do all this, hours and hours of meditation, contemplation, psychedelics, embodied integration, if it is to go back to this Existential Eternal Infinite Pain ? What do you do with this ? How can you ever be OK with this realization ? It's been 7 years for me that I struggle with this, after being introduced to Cogito Ergo Sum, and going to the full (I guess only conceptual) understanding of this deep loneliness that God has. How can you get over this ? I understand some might just say "meditate and do psychedelics LOL", but I am seriously fearing getting into a state of psychosis if I actually experience it. Already from understanding it conceptually, I was knocked out in depression for 1 year. And this seems to happen, as is explained in this very nice podcast (the interviewee starts explaining his descent into his week-long pyschosis at 1:01:00): So, really how does one goes on about this ? It feels like a trap: either go back to "mundane non spiritual life" and miss something, or go balls deep in spirituality and end up in an asylum with infinite eternal suffering. What is the fine line? You realized that you're everything and on your own for ever, great (I guess), then what, besides pain ? PS: I have never done drugs/psychedelics besides once some weed and a usual Western consumption of alcohol.

How to balance "following the flow" VS "planning every hour of your day" in living life ? I.e should you force yourself to meditate every day at 9 PM or should you follow your intuition at the time and maybe meditate 1hour one day and nothing the other (if that's how you feel like) ? How to distinguish "truthful intuition" VS "rationalizations/self-deceptive narratives" ? I.e feeling like not meditating today, is it truthful or a rationalization to be lazy / protect your current self-image to be changed by the meditation ? How to balance "outward information" VS "inside personal insight" in understanding life and making decisions ? I.e being to much relying on Leo, people on the forum, books, youtube videos to get the big life transforming insights VS having the insights yourself.

Also, how to resolve the dichotomy between following the flow minute by minute and making rigid plans ?

Hey all, How can we: 1) Feel our feelings / emotions more 2) Identify the true feelings, as opposed to ego cravings 3) Act upon them. Specifically, long term actions. As in, big life plans. I feel that "following the flow" works for short term actions, like day to day, but how can we transform these feelings to monthly, yearly, decadely plan of actions ? Thanks ?

I liked that in part 1 you spoke about some fears of yours. It makes it less conceptual and more grounded in experience, and it shows a good example of how to deal with fear one is actually experiencing. So yeah, please continue that in part 2 ?

@Moon No. Because just even talking about this and thinking about this brings me a lot of guilt. My main stress is not having grown enough before having kids, and with her being a bit older than me, this time is getting closer and closer, and I am afraid of not having enough time. And I can't let her wait forever. And I'm afraid this "hoe phase" that I didn't really have might have been necessary for my growth, but I am not sure it is. This is why I am trying to find a way out of this that does not involve breaking the relationship. I just got the smaller one of the Yoga books from Leo's list, hopefully this will help.

I second @Knock, was this pick-up phase necessary to purify this desire ? Are there (hopefully) other ways to purify this ? Like Chakra work or smthg