AdamR95

@Javfly33 15 approaches are too little to make any conclusions. I dare you, try to do 100 approaches while keeping that success rate. You will not be able to, even 1 date out of 10 is above average success rate. Sometimes you get lucky and get 3 dates from 10 approaches and sometimes you do 30 approaches without result. My first 100 approaches were shit for sure but i learn. btw. i had 2 more dates from the cold approaches i did since creating this thread. But there is a way you can have way better success rate if you wait for chosing signals but i dont get many so i dont care and approach anyway.

@Vzdoh If the deal breaker would be looks then i would have surely better results. Girls generally consider me goodlooking, but they doesnt consider me charismatic even though i feel confident. I guess i just lack the social skills to display my confidence, its something i am working on right now. The natural caring/attention is not problem for me, rather my natural tendetion is to be too kind.

@Hello from Russia I enjoy approaching girls more, because i am atleast genuinely interested in them. I am not so interested in people in general.

@Kalki Avatar this will apply after you gain some experiences. Before that you have to think about what you say because your brain isnt prepare for such situations. After you gain some experiences then you can be more relaxed and let the speaking happen naturally.

@Molaric Try to record yourself on a phone and everyday try to talk about anything for 5minuts without pauses and try to make it interesting and smooth. When you dont know what to say look at your enviroment and associate it with some topic and from that topic you can associate another topic etc. This is a good supplement for your conversation skills but be sure to practise with real people too.

@Karmadhi I think about it like this: Harder you work for something the greater the pleasure of achieving it. When we have everything easily it loses its value. So its a good thing we need to work for it hard.

This is what i do majority of my life. I am generaly happy alone and even do many things alone for example travel. I am not bothered that much about that, sometimes i am little sad but not that often. I just wonder, it doesnt make sence to me that i am single basicaly all my life when i consider myself a good catch. I think after few years from now, things get better significantly, i think the best is yet to come.

i am gonna do more for sure

Thanks all of you for your input. i came to a conclusion that i want to try join to firefighters, that is something which resonate with me the most right now. I also start to record myself on phone and talking about random things to train my speaking skills, maybe in the future i would be talking about deep things on youtube that resonate with me a lot too.

I am 25y old construction designer, i do it for about 4 years now but it doesnt motivate me anymore. I dont like to spend 8 hours doing something like this therefore i am looking for something else. I really love to do sports and train my body. I do parkour and acrobatics but when i visualize possibility of training other people for example and making business out of that, it doesnt resonate with me at all. I like to train myself but i am not too enthusiastic about training someone else. And i have the same issue about other things i enjoy, i just dont like an idea of making business out of it and i have an intuition that i would even stop enjoying the thing if it start to be an obligation for me. I have no ambition in making lots of money or fame or anything like that, i just want to spend my time doing things i enjoy which is sport,travel and spirituality. I like the idea of living a simple life. I am considering to take some ordinary job maybe manual work which doesnt take too much of my mental energy from me. Or to travel and find a job abroad. Maybe that would help me to find some inspiration. What do you guys suggest?

@Gabith Notice that the disgust you feel is beautiful too.

@SQAAD Porn can lower your dopamine sensitivity if you watch it too often. This is problem for hedonism in general. But it goes back up after you stop to watch so i wouldnt say it is a damage. Just dont watch it too much.

@Giulio Bevilacqua when you surrender, then your inauthentic motivation goes away but authentic motivation remains. You still make an effort but not because you want to achieve something that will make you happy but you make an effort because that is the most authentic expression of who you are. You surrender to the universal flow of energy. Listen to your intuition, sometimes you will make a lot of effort and sometimes less but thats ok.

@BipolarGrowth I dont have goals and i dont need to keep myself motivated to do spirituality. Spirituality has just happened to me, and actually spirituality have destroyed my material goals i had in the past, i had to rebuild them, and now its impossible for me to take them as seriously as in the past.

My visual field goes usualy white when i meditate with open eyes and sometimes it shrink like a tunnel and almost disappear. But it happens only with open eyes.

@SQAAD Yeah you cant view it as merely sensation because that is just too strong of a trigger, but its still ilusion. You are just not able to see it in the moment because you are forced to act.

@SQAAD I actually had spiritual experience with toothache. That toothache lasted few days and it got to a point when i want just smash my head to the wall how bad it was. It really felt like its better to die than endure it for another day. But then it just struck me out of nowhere, i think it was because i was so exhausted resisting it that i was forced to surrender. The pain was still there but i was just sitting there peacefully and there was no resistance. Strange experience but it made me reconsider my whole relationship to pain.

How could Leo know how conscious other people are when someone who is highly conscious could act like totaly ordinary man? Someone who is like this can even act like he is low conscious because there is no need to show how conscious he is. That is the reason i take this kind of statements leo makes with a grain of salt. What i take from it is just that he have had much more deeper awakenings that he is ever able to comunicate.

@BipolarGrowth whole life is kind of like a treadmill, i am here just to enjoy the running

Try an experiment. Go to a cold shower and stay there and force yourself to see the sensation for what it is. Do the shower as cold to be able to concentrate enough to see the cold sensation is not bad and the "bad" is just a projection of an ego. Now stay there as long as you can, it will get less and less tolerable and eventually you cant resist and you'll just switch off that shower. How the sensation change over that period of time? The thing which change was that you had more and more strong urge to stop. The urge to act, to avoid the uncomfortable sensation. That is the thing which makes the feeling looks unbearable. But look the urge by itself is not that bad either. It is the combination of that urge and thoughts and fear etc. which creates the ilusion of suffering. It is story of our ego that some things are that bad. It is actualy much easier to do this with pleasure and deconstruct pleasure first. Its quate easy to see that pleasure is empty, why would be pleasure empty but suffering not? its a similar kind of ilusion but suffering is harder to deconstruct because you are force to act.

@SQAAD How do you know that? You judge that from theirs reactions but that is not reliable. You even judge your own suffering from your own reactions to it. That is the ilusion. The behaviour is automatic reaction but it says nothing about amount of suffering. That is what i discovered that pain and suffering seems real because it force you to react and avoid it, but other than that, there is nothing really in it which is bad.

@SQAAD I think that our brains have some kind of mechanisms to protect us from the extreme pain, we go either insane or unconscious. Notice that when you watch these videos, victims often seems unexpectedly surrended. And when someone went through something like this they often end up with depersonalization or derealization disorders which indicates to me that these experiences force some parts of ego to switch off to protect itself. I dont mean that i would be happy to go trough this but i think that our minds makes these events seems worse than they are. We are terrified of many things but when it happens it is not that bad but our minds like to label it as the worst thing which could happen. From my personal experience if i introspect on pain it was never that bad as my mind want to see it. What was actually the worst was the fear of it not the actual thing. It is just code into us to avoid pain at all cost and that is what makes the ilusion of pain so strong. But to know for sure you would have to go through it yourself otherwise you have only your projetions on it which are distorted by ego.

I was doing introspection on my attachments and how it makes me suffer and i discovered something interesting. From my awakenings and contemplation i already knew that all suffering is illusion made by an ego. So i was watching it happening and i tried to let go of it to get rid of suffering and what i discovered was that deep down i actually prefer to suffer. I actually want to suffer more than i want to let go of it. I was conscious that i am the one who is willingly creating the suffering. If i dont want to suffer i would let go of it easily as i do with other attachments that already did let go of. So when i suffer i actually suffer because i love it.

@Gesundheit2 Where exactly did i demonize the ego? Both points of view are valid but on a different level. On one level i hate suffering but on a deeper level i love suffering and also i love to hate the suffering. There is no contradiction in what you are saying and what i am saying.

@Gesundheit2 From a position of ego I agree with you, i try to avoid suffering and i would prefer world without it, but if i look deeper within me i see this is a lie which purpose is to keep me interested in a game of life but actually i love it all. Suffering is only possible if i am actively creating it in a present moment and this is the case. If i would be in a great pain i would disagree with it, but that is the ego speaking and it has nothing to do with truth. @RendHeaven exactly what i mean