ted73104

You should go to a place where opportunity is abundant and also has a great young community for social life. You should go to New York.

Probably can't blame the developers, AI feeds on Internet data to learn. Seems like AI has also learned human biases.

Hmm, you're right. I just feel that the original post has too high of a standard about people's ability to make sense of reality.

I just love where you're at in life man, and you're only 20. Really wish I didn't grow up in a church. Why determine which city you'll spend the rest of your life in? You could probably end up having real estate in both.

Come on, does it matter? As long as everyone is safe and happy, why not do or think whatever we want?

Well said, having a religion based on fear is such a bad place to be in, especially with many other options to explore in this century.

Hi @Sabth, It seems like you're mind is really stuck in deep emotions. There are internal conflicts within you that prevent you from moving forward. You have too big of an expectation of yourself, or maybe we should say you are too far away from where you want to be. You crave to be where you imagine you should be very badly, so bad that everytime you attempt to move forward, the slightest "failure" hurts you emotionally so much that in the end your subconcious would rather not move than allow you to try and change yourself. We need to tell you that you need professional help. We cannot provide an immediate solution to your problems. So please don't think that there is anything we can say that will somehow allow you to understand the root cause of your problems and make them will disappear immediately. This idea is not realistic, it is not going to happen. You need to do a lot of work to get out of this. Of course I believe because you are stuck, the only way you can express yourself is by venting on this forum. And thankfully we're all still willing to listen to you, at least for the moment. Although there is nothing we can say that will help you, I still want to make another attempt. Just want you to know two things, first thing is that what you to really need to change right now is not what you have, who you are, whether you're married or not, whether you're a hot confident girl or not, these surface level things. What you need to change is the basic set of beliefs you have on which every part of your identity is built upon. Let's put it this way, if your efforts are built upon sand, not matter how hard you try, your efforts will never sustain. You have to change your beliefs so you start building on a solid foundation, like a rock. So the second thing is that everything is relative, there is no such thing as ugly or being a failure. Healthy and happy people don't compare with other people, even though they know a bunch of people who are way better than them. No matter where you are, you will always only see those who are ahead of you. So you have to learn how to stop comparing and reward yourself for every tiny improvement that you make going forward. Life does not happen to you, it comes from you. The reason you feel stuck is only because you've defined yourself to always be a failure. Although this will be hard to realize but it is you who is trapping yourself. You need to change your mind and stop believing that you can't change your situation. Why don't you see yourself in this way: "okay there are many things that I want which I don't have right now, but hey I'm already in a bad place, I've got nothing to lose right? I can go forward step by step. Each tiny step is big difference. It is not like everyone is stuck like me, I just got dealt the bad cards in life, but if I get out of this rut, I would be so much stronger and better than everyone because anyone who is in my position would just be like me right now, and not everyone like me can get out of their situation. If I can gradually change, this will be huge!"

I'm sorry if the topic of this post is not appropriate. There doesn't seem to be a category here for this topic, but I am just very curious if there is anyone from Taiwan who has followed Actualized.org for a few years like me. I've been doing this work alone for quite some time, would be great to know if anyone is also doing this work. Thanks.

From what you've shared, it seems like you believe you're destined to be a professional chess player. You're frustrated because you have not been able to achieve your sky high expectations yet. Please tell me I'm missing something.

I am not sure about your situation and this is just speculation, but I'm guessing that your frustration is caused by not being able to get enough income from being a professional chess player. So your anger and frustration is based simply on not having enough income, your family and friends not being able to see your situation in a more positive light, and the overall feeling of accomplishing nothing due to not being rewarded enough by society for being a professional chess player. I think it is basic human instinct that is making you feel this way. Do you think I'm pointing the right direction?

You're in a state of regression, plus in a bit of fight and flight mode. The switch that flipped back in 2015 is what caused this. You probably lived up to something before 2015, however your mindset back then could not sustain your dreams and so when your efforts get constantly undermined by reality, you suffer psychologically. You were then depressed for a while, but afterwards you wanted to change. You got a healthier lifestyle, you found beauty during the process of changing youself. You took therapy and went into depth about what really happened in your life. You are ready and what you only need to do now is to turn on the switch that you turned off back in 2015. You're in a mode of defense because your body doesn't want to experience the pain of fallout again. However a main part of life is experiencing loss and pain. Where there is something great that you want, there always will be a possibility you never achieve this dream. When you pursue what you really want in life, there will be a time where you fail non-stop. That will hurt and may even cut you deep, but whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. And you are strong enough to endure that process until you transform. The only question now is are you willing to turn on the switch now and start feeling PAIN again.

This is the right way to do it, but it is too high level. Most people which is like 99.99% of people cannot do it. If you envy something, I say you should try to find a way to get the thing you want. Reward yourself for any bit of growth or achievement you make along the way. Eventually if what you imagined you wanted was a real thing, you'll get it. If it wasn't real, then you can finally drop it.

All the suggestions above are great, but I have a different perspective. I think that passions are pursuable only after you've achieved some level of financial success because most passions don't necessarily allow you to live abundantly. Also would you even be able to find your passion now with limited life and work experience? So I wouldn't try to find my passion right now but rather narrow down the objective that I want to achieve. You're in a great spot, you could focus on your relationship with your girlfriend and other people in your social life while completing school and continuing to work for your dad. You could even let your dad buy you a house. However nothing comes free, your capability of being independent would be restricted if you choose this option. But I would choose this path if I were you, why not enjoy life when you can? I mean I've worked for 15 years and most of my colleagues grinded hard at first only to try to land a position in the company where they could have a more comfortable work schedule. Their goal was also to work fewer hours and earn a higher wage, and most of them sort of ended up with this type of result, maybe just not making as much as they expected. Option B would be to move out, work for someone else like your peers. In theory this would be a better option, as it would allow you to grow faster in all areas, but you could also pursue this option later. Or if you're able to muster the motivation, accept a relatively more challenging role in your dad's business and take on the pressure. You could just inherit the business later on or create a similar business.

Why are we even discussing this? The answer is No.

I think it doesn't really matter what you say, it is the vibe and the rythm that you're in. If we're in sync with her emotions of excitement and have total confidence to express those emotions, then we will be able to find the words to express those feelings and get her number no matter what we say (although she might not respond later). I very difficult thing is how do we get in sync, especially if we don't have lots of experience with hot women.

I thought redpill was a base layer for every guy, that type of desire will always be there. The question is how do guys build an orangepill or greenpill mindset to transcend the red desire? It's hard, I mean who doesn't like a hot chick?

Bitcoin is not intended to become a currency, it will replace gold. Crypto currency like solana or XRP may become a medium of exchange and their price will stablize when they're widely adopted.

I don't think you are able to fix your current issue by just learning more about how the ego works or even getting a paradigm shift. I think you could consult more with your therapist about some techniques to discipline yourself and get yourself to focus on stuff that are important to you. You don't need high level stuff to fix your basic level needs.

I agree with you. However I think Leo just wants to be himself instead of being put on a pedistal here. So if anyone feels bullied from his response, I think they can talk with someone else on the forum. I do think Leo has toned down his aggressiveness after his apology post earlier.

Totally agree, there is just not a viable solution so we can only kick the can down the road till a chance appears.

Absolutely brilliant take! The problem with the conservative view is that not only does it sound negative, its ideal can only be actualized by a few while the over 90% majority suffer when they chase this narrow-minded dream. Better to accept reality as it is.

So I guess the relationship with your parents is very complicated to say the least. I know it is very hard, but you have to find a job and move out first. Get out of any toxic environments.

You have asked them to teach you before, right? If there are relationship issues, at least they could borrow you the car and perhaps you could ask your siblings to teach you?

It seems like your image of yourself is dependent on what other people think of you. I understand that is very hard to change, the urge for recognition when you've rarely experienced it is hard to overcome. You can do it Kobe style, use the hatred as fuel and take action. Start small and give yourself praise for anything you accomplish. Get a normal job, make some short videos with your phone, get into a skating social group, learn how to drive a car, connect more with your siblings/cousins, etc. You're not stuck, you only lack motivation. Everyone has been here, baby steps will become larger steps as you move forward. In the future when you look back, it is not where you are and what you have that you're proud of, but rather the journey you've been through and what kind of person you've become through the journey that will be your true source of confidence. The end is never sweet without the journey.

So we should learn how to scam and manipulate people?