ted73104

I have felt the same way as you in the past, believing that only when I have accomplished something great and earned a lot of money can I love and accept myself. You are not incapable, it is only that the goal you've set for yourself is way too high to be achieved in a short amount of time. So in this situation your body would tend to feel that the effort is not worth it, because you cannot achieve greatness or become rich overnight, thus giving you the emotion of laziness. You're not in a bad place, it is your strong desire for the good things in life that is making you feel negatively about yourself. The way you're looking at things is not healthy, because you're placing judgement constantly on your condition whilst not comparing with yourself but with others. And I believe when you're comparing yourself with others, you're always comparing with them in the area they are strongest. If you give yourself space to find a job and gradually exercise, you can eventually get to a place you feel good about yourself step by step. Also you might find that you probably won't need to become rich and successful to be able to find happiness. Maybe you just want a hot girlfriend, the guys I know who can get hot girlfriends are not rich or successful. Depends on what you want, but you don't need to have everything to be happy.

If the bitcoin ETF gets approved, it might behave like the gold ETF in 2004 flying to the moon and never coming back.

I used to hate myself too. Then I gradually found a way to accept and love myself.............. as a fucking villian. Bring your expectations of yourself so goddamn low so that you actually will appreciate what you have NOW! I have nothing to lose, why not live another fucking day however I like?

If you value intelligence, then you will naturally be around people you look up to. The feeling you described being demoralized feels very real, it is a deep emotion in your condition. I used to fight this emotion all the time, I would try to study harder or work harder and chase more productivity. I would try to be friends with these people who I feel are doing great, and see if any of their attributes would rub off on me. Now I work at a large IC design company and I'm surrounded by excellent people, whenever this feeling occurs I just let it gradually sink in. I try to feel into the loss and emptiness of the entire emotion. Then when I'm alone sometimes I contemplate what I can do or why I'm feeling this way. I never find a real solution, but eventually I am just able to let it go. I'm still very happy that I've joined such a talented team and the IC industry has been rocking the past few years.

@Dodo I agree with you. I bought some bitcoin a while back, the next bitcoin halving is almost here. Everyone should join the revolution and learn about crypto!

You guys need to give Leo a break, I think he's already done enough. My opinion is that his current videos are all revolving around similar topics and the ideas that he's sharing recently are basically the same as before. I don't think he has anything significantly new to share, and until he does I say just let him live his life. You don't need any new videos from him, just do the work.

I think the results of therapy really depends on what you really want to get out of it. People who grow up from a toxic environment not only have a damaged sense of their own identity, they also have trouble functioning socially. And in life, social experiences and meaningful relationships are a big part of a person's fulfillment. I believe that a lot of people would think therapy doesn't do anything for them because the effects of therapy doesn't show immediately. Therapy only shows you how you are behaving in a disfunctional way, and the root cause of your psychological problems. But it does not enable you to fix those problems immediately, and there shouldn't be any medicine to fix yourself in a very short time. The person who has the troubled past normally would only be able to put their past behind once they've changed entirely. It's like if you were called stupid or poor during your entire youth, and then one day you've finally achieved something that made everyone think you're brilliant or allowed you to sell that business for a billion dollars. Then you would totally forget what happened before or not even care if people thought you were dumb or poor. You would be over your traumas. So the pain is actually in the NEED to become someone who can fulfill their desires. I believe the problem is also in this NEED to change. The difficulty of this situation is how the individual finds the path to accept what happened to them unconditionally, I think this is the true answer to the problem. However that is just too damn difficult so most people can only do personal development, hustle more at work, earn more success and then find themselves "worthy".

What I meant was like even if a car hit you when you were riding your bike, you most likely won't die. So you don't have to be too afraid, because the worst scenarios are not as bad as you think. Also Leo had a video about fear, not sure if it would help you but here it is:

He is a perceiver, opportunitist, and a con-man.

Life is a struggle. If you want to let go of that voice nagging you constantly, you probably have to give up getting your dream girl. However that's not what you want right? So your subconscious mind is pushing you to achieve your goal, but your body is reluctant to budge due to enormous amount of work that is required. I think you should clarify what you really want first, are you looking to satisfy your desire of lust or are you really looking for true love? Obtaining a higher income or improving your looks may not be the most straightforward way to achieve either case. Perhaps you could get a dating coach to help you?

Sounds like a good plan, the importance of cybersecurity is definitely going to skyrocket again in the near future. Do you have a job currently that is related to cybersecurity development? All you need to do is to locate a high paying job within a cybersecurity company, learn about what detailed skills and experiences you need to get that job. Then train yourself on the stuff that will get you the job, pay for courses if there are any to learn as quickly as possible. The interesting thing is that getting the job doesn't require you be an expert in that field, you only need the basic skills required for the job and the attitude that allows the interviewer to believe that you'd work your ass off if you get applied. You can train yourself further to be a real expert once you get into that company. Once you get in, we could say your income explodes almost overnight.

This is a question for everyone, doesn't your life purpose not necessarily allow you to escape wage slavery? From my experience, the higher the purpose, the harder it is to make income out of. Not everyone becomes rich, so maybe we shouldn't use wealth as an indicator of our success?

I remember seeing a Youtuber video that explains how getting rich doesn't necessarily have to do with being smart. Dumber people are more capable of pursuing wealth because they don't allow sopisticated thinking get in the way of their non-stop attempts to pursue their goals.

@Zoomy I think you shouldn't be judgemental about the whether this purpose is good or not. If you have game ideas that are market worthy, you should absolutely do it. If the market loves your games, you'd earn maybe a ton of money. Then you could climb out of the rat race if you choose and gradually pursue something higher. But I believe there is no external purpose other than what the consciousness that is observing the world thinks. Purpose is just a concept within people's heads, so don't let anyone tell you what you should do and just pursue what you want.

I totally agree with your post and your responses in this thread. Just ignore the other guy, I wonder if he has a girlfriend. If he's ever gotten a hot chick girlfriend before, maybe he would realize eventually that sex alone doesn't cut it.

If you try to find meaning and purpose from an external source, that meaning would feel very limited and may even diminish very quickly because you're always trying to prove that meaning exists objectively. However objective meaning is very very hard to realize, some people even say objectively there is no meaning in life. So you have to shift into another mode of thinking and create meaning for yourself. Even though there may not be any meaning in life, you could create any meaning or purpose for yourself. You just need to find the confidence to say I find this meaningful because I say so.

You could try some therapy? What you're experiencing might be caused by something deep inside you. You should just let disaster strike sometimes, just let things happen and feel into it. Then you would probably realize that these things can't kill you.

If suicide is the path you take, no one can judge you. However I believe you don't really want to go down that path because you haven't committed suicide yet. I think most people in our lives (not including the folks who responded here) don't understand how difficult it is when we live with our bodies emitting a deep negative energy almost non-stop. In this state our body is in a serious fight or flight mode, trying to defend ourselves from certain possibilities that may deem us unworthy of love, that makes us feel completely ashamed. I understand that some people are just trying not to drown in these waves of emotions, but have you ever wondered if you could change your outer circumstance, what outer changes do you need in order to not feel like living in hell? This might be an interesting question, because it might be the case that no amount of money or success in any area can guanrantee us true satisfaction. Basically what @UnbornTao said above is quite true, however that level of mindfullness is too high for us now. Might have to continue fighting, but do some comtemplation of these types of questions at the same time.

I hope there will be an equivalent of covid that will shutdown those "malls".

The Israelis and Palestinians have been enemies since King David and Goliath in the Old Testament. Both sides see Israel as their sovereign state. Hamas is a terrorist organization, and Israel who doesn't want to communicate with them anymore is now going to exterminate Hamas. I hope the Israels succeed in freeing the Palestinians from Hamas, but I don't think it will be that easy. Worst case scenario is that they trigger a larger regional conflict which in the end destroys Israel instead.

Come on brother, no need for that. We're all on the same boat and we care for each other deep down.

Great question, I believe that the approach to the problem has to be changed. If we place ourselves in a defensive mode trying to prevent "shameful or bad" events from happening, our inner energy will always be passive and the emotion of fear will occur whenever there is "danger". Sometimes we're stuck in this state where we just want to feel better or have some peace of mind, but at the same time we want something inherent to change. However it takes massive action to change, and we don't like the failures that come with the amount of action and trials that are needed to make this journey. We also don't like the boredom during the process of taking the actual steps of this journey. To conquer the illusion of unworthiness, I would try to find a way to flip my thinking from how do I avoid the pain of unworthiness to how do I get positive motives and muster energy to pursue what I want again. The process of getting what we want will always contain a lot of effort and frustration preventing us from taking action. But by devising a plan and building discipline, we can move forward. Just focus on one thing at a time. I know this sounds strange but I feel that it is in this struggle where we may gradually realize that maybe we never had to be a certain way to be "worthy". It may have been just something we deeply wanted that we couldn't get that is creating this illusion of "meaning/worthiness". We always wanted the world or people to be a certain way for us, but what if we could turn this around and give out love for other people instead. By giving out with no desire for any return, we can shift our mindset from the victim/defender to the provider/creator. We would feel different about our situation then.

It depends on what you want currently. How much effort and energy you put into the details of your life now will determine the outcome. Sometimes we're not clear about the things that make us uncomfortable taking the next step. Sometimes we don't even know what it is that we really want, we just think we do. So I guess we can only feel into our current status and figure out how to reach out and make a difference for ourselves.

I wonder if Mark Manson talks about the process of getting from wanting to pursue positive experiences to accepting negative experiences? Because you would have to go through a lot of work, discipline, and life lessons learnt in order to get from A to B here, right? It's not like, oh I don't envy this job anymore and then that company is going to like headhunt you immediately.

I agree with Dauntment. I would also implement an on/off switch to the folks in an unfortunate situation. Yes, keep the ability to understand and feel their situation from their standpoint. But also be able to switch back to your own level and not think about them when you are moving forward on your own path.