It's hard for people to be good to others and enjoy it when they haven't figured out how to love themselves first and let go. You cannot love and be compassionate with other people if you can't first do so with yourself. Humans are selfish when their needs aren't met, even if those needs are conceptual, because they're very real if you make them real. All you can do is figure out how to get rid of the veil. Once the veil, filter, lens, whatever you want to call it is gone, you're free to do what your heart wants you to do, which will just be to love. It may seem like being caring and good to others will make you vulnerable, but it actually makes you more secure than you could ever imagine when done right. This can't really be reasoned, needs to be experienced.