This thread is a blessing to me after having done Ibogaine and Bufo Alvarious combo treatment about 18 months ago. The DP DR when I got home was so terrifying that I immediately and gratefully returned to all the drugs I sought entheogen experiences to free myself from. After doing the Ibogaine/Bufo I found that smoking pot was now the MOST intense experience I had ever had - and it still is. It was meditation that finally led me back to some semblance of sanity - that, and abstinence from what I call 'Fools Gold' drugs like stimulants (anything from coffee to kratom, adderall, cocaine and alcohol). Entheogens saved my life for sure - by dissolving it. My 'blue pill' problems became paddy cake childs play compared to losing my sense of 'I'. Things definitely got worse before they got better but I never could have found Samadhi on my own. An addicts ego function is incredibly complex. With the brilliant teachings of Joe Dispenza's scientific approach along with Deepak Chopra's multidisciplinary education and some other contributors to the Youtube station called Science and Nonduality (SAND) I am slowly proceeding through my dark tunnel by a thin lead line of what I can only call some sort of 'faith'. In what, I still have no idea but I've found that the surest and most immediate rescue from DP DR is calling upon my own SELF (even though I don't know where or what that sense of self is). It's the only thing I trust and it comforts me without fail when I sincerely call upon it. Now, I only rarely use entheogenic substances with very deep respect and regard for set and setting, and with a healthy sense of resistance - the way you might simultaneously look forward to and dread an intense psychotherapy session that digs deep into your trauma . In a way, these chemicals are 'Gods' to me and they are jealous and demanding ones. I believe their lessons are self limiting and if you don't respond to their revelations and suggestions (they absolutely WILL answer your questions) they will treat you with as much disregard as you do them - In short, don't play with them like a game unless you want to be made into one. The key is finding the eye of the storm in every situation while holding the tension of the opposites, equally experiencing the agony and the ecstasy at the same time. You can't use your intellect to do this and moving in and out of it is the balanced nature of being a manifested 'vector' of consciousness. We are some fractal form of the particle/wave function on a grand scale. Being and not being at the same time is where I find acceptance and surrender and most precious to me - the state of senseless wonder. If what you are experiencing can be described you can be certain that it isn't real. Let that be ok.
