mandyjw

I like sharing thoughts here publicly, which is a little weird perhaps but it feels like you're letting stuff go when you throw it out there for other people to read. I suppose I could write some notes and burn them, but I mean, that IS sort of a fire hazard. I'm really good at writing myself into a better feeling, less personal perspective about things. Writing is a powerful way to focus and my "inner voice" almost never takes anything seriously.

https://youtu.be/nVEzIjGM2eU

@Ananta I believe that the auto-immune theory is based on a dualistic understanding, and in reality there isn't one thing that can attack itself as if there were two. Which is why I have also often experienced in less dramatic ways than you have that simply dropping thoughts about me and my disease can be very healing.

Auto-immune is a misunderstanding, the body never actually attacks itself. Entertaining thoughts that don't resonate and are felt in the body as suffering, stress but continuing to believe and hold these thoughts is what inhibits the immune system. Also because like attracts like, sometimes people reach for unhealthy habits to feel better, also not realizing that the dropping of the thoughts is the relief not the gain of a temporary distraction. @Ananta Incredible. ❤

@Esilda ❤ Thank you so much!

@mojsterr Yeah, I was eating lots of rice cakes, wild rice, and drinking rice protein shakes, so it was excessive. Doing the cleanse and getting into Medical medium stuff helped me with finding new things because I started bringing in a ton more fruits and vegetables. I thought I had an intolerance to bananas, but tried them again after the cleanse and haven't had any issues and have been eating a lot of them. Been eating lots of squash, sweet potatoes, potatoes, salads, spinach smoothies, papaya, tons of berries. Quit caffeine, drinking celery juice and lemon water every morning and lots of herbal tea.

@mojsterr I'm ok with it in small quantities, but rice has a lot of arsenic in it, and I didn't seem smart to keep eating it as a major food staple. I switched to GF oatmeal and am eating a lot more fruit and vegetables.

We often get sick when we resist rest. If you're forcing yourself to work and achieve you will get sick more often. Lean into it, instead of resisting. Being mad because you're sick and can't work is exactly why you're sick often. I've found being ill to be a fantastic opportunity to connect spiritually, and take a step back from the exhausting trajectory of my automatically going after what I think will make me happy. I'm not sure how being sick would hinder spiritual "work". I'd also look into taking a zinc supplement. I would also consider that we are coming out of a pandemic and a lot of stuff is circulating that was inhibited from doing so for a while. So you might just be catching up that way. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.

No matter, no matters.

Love feels good because it IS Good. Good can't be a quality we assign to ourselves because there is no self separate from anything else. Nonduality, no good/bad, no self/other. You are experiencing the discord of judgmental thoughts about self and other and future. If I fear paying a fine in the future, I don't listen to that fear now, it's aversion. So I lie out of that avoidance. Then because I still won't feel what I'm feeling, I think I'm bad for doing this and feel guilt and regret. That guilt and regret feels bad because I, Self Love, never look back on myself and feel lacking. I only ever look forward.

Well sex, sleep and food is silly but also enjoyable, so ya know. We hit stupid looking symbols on a keyboard and call it communication, what is it actually? Love. Kinda hilariously silly, right? Doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Just do it well, and by that I mean, enjoy it for what it really is.

@Mason Riggle @Mason RiggleYeah, been there. Not a problem worth suffering for it. Doesn't mean you can't also point it out. Like Tolle says, if the waiter brings you cold soup, just tell him the soup is cold. That's all.

That's true that not everyone is asking the same questions, but I don't think it benefits anyone to call it advanced. I think that feeds into people making drastic efforts to get what they think is missing. A question is the admission or knowledge (beyond knowledge) that one does not know. But we ask different questions, ultimately coming from the same not knowing. The answer received is more satisfying than intellectual understanding. The same paradigm of advancement in spirituality like advancement in knowledge through credits in a college by a person over time to gain a degree does not apply. It's like building a house upon the sand to think of it and feel that way about it.

@Mason Riggle That is ultimately true. Not arguing. You see the difference when listening to feeling, which responds not at all to thought like, "Mandy made a youtube video". "I like apples." And then there is Mandy thinking that she is super in charge of everything and has to become this great example of whatever the fuck to prove her worth on the actualize.org forum and stressing out over how high consciousness her stuff is and what others think of it. That's the suffering, that's the actual sense of separation.

No. It is NOT advanced. It's so fucking humbling there won't be a you left to be humbled. And it feels better than ANYTHING, because it IS feeling itself. Direct, so direct we can't even say it's direct. No advancement. No one left behind.

@Mason Riggle If I make a youtube video and tell people that Love is not directly known, but that God is Love and love is a thing that can be grasped for a separate finite self is that problematic? Cause I'd say that's problematic. I mean I might sit here and have no problem inwardly, no suffering, but I'm still gonna call a repair man if my refrigerator breaks instead of letting the food spoil and make my kids sick, you know?

It's not really immaturity, I don't think. It's being modeled by the creator of this community. I don't think anything. Thought is appearance. Doesn't mean there's actually water in the desert, but the appearance or illusion has a reality unto itself. Call it Magic. Uh oh it's magic, ya know! Actually I don't know that. What I actually am is so magic, I'm prior to the idea of magic/ordinary or any ideas or thoughts. Separate Mandy, seperate Mason is a thought. I cannot think mySelf. This conversation as an exchange between us is love, magic, nothing at all really. It's the same as the sensation of my placing my hand on my chair, it is not two.

This is the numbest, dumbest realization out there. Nothing changes. There already aren't other people. Put your hand on a surface. Without thinking is there two sensations, one of "my" hand and one of "the surface". Or is it in the direct feeling ONE borderless sensation. Likewise Love is just plain borderless. This has always been. Always will be. You don't go around denying the existence or validity of people. Maybe you see them for the first time, your heart bursts open and you can't stop crying about how fucking beautiful the previously fat bitchy post office lady suddenly is seen to be, but other than kinda thing day in day out everyday, no big deal! Jesus people. It's that fucking simple. Everybody love everybody! -Will Ferrell "Love one another" - Jesus There ya go.

@Mason Riggle If I think "I'm alone in the Universe". "My mom/wife/brother/whatever is not real". My emotions are immediately, directly saying "FUCK NO!" and I'm like "NO but I've BEEN TOLD BY THE WISE MASTER that I'm alone in the universe. I'm intelligent! I'm woke! I'm not a normie!" I'm not listening to my emotions. So I suffer. Suffer. Suffer. "I'm gonna get it! I'm gonna push through this wall!" Nope. You aren't. That wall just isn't there.

@Tim R I did see your rant, it seems you're as frustrated as the rest of us with their hierarchical claiming of what cannot be grasped or claimed by anyone, but I dunno maybe I'm projecting. Well... for people who think they are and are suffering.

You don't see this as hugely problematic? It asserts that he does have a finite mind and other do not. No one has a mind.

You know how sometimes someone who is really confident might seem to make you feel insecure in comparison? But really it's because you're just thinking insecure thoughts about yourself, it's not that the other person actually caused that.

?@Gili Trawangan ?❤

Your looks don't matter at all. The thoughts about yourself do. A customer service representative needs to be focused on interacting other people. Insecurity is when you are focused on thoughts about yourself. The reason these thoughts feel so bad is because they are turned in against yourself, same reason hitting yourself with a hammer instead of the nail hurts. Try meditation and being more aware of watching the thoughts that you have in regard to yourself in general. Make a list of stuff that you love doing, find relaxing and make a point to do something from that list everyday.