mandyjw

Wow, I hadn't thought of it that way before. A part of me was doing that anyway. The thing about telling stories about our past is that they are always lies, always just stories.

That's probably part of why I was a hermit, but at doctor's appointments or family gatherings people would ask and I hated having to answer. People keep asking me if I "still" do it, constantly. I didn't go to college in order to have the time to live with my parents and not have money pressure while I was learning. Everyone thought that was a huge mistake, and they thought I was just screwing around with something waiting for my husband to graduate college so I could have him support us. Just about the only person who supported me was my dad and he helped me set up the gas safely and fix tools when I needed to and anything I needed. But women liking to do crafts is a huge joke in the US. Crafts are synonymous with worthless and uninteresting. Add to that living in an area where people don't even pay attention to fashion or art. AT all. Practically and poverty is our culture. People like to see something done well and there are still plenty of artsy and wonderful people who supported me, and who i couldn't have done it without. But I always felt that that was the general feeling about it. It was something special to me and I wanted to hide it. Making the beads is really meditative. The flow of the liquid glass, the flame of the torch, the colors, the way the colors become something else entirely while they are being worked with and you have to learn to differentiate shades of orange that will later become a rainbow. You have to learn the chemical reactions between colors and buffer them with other colors if they don't get along and change each other into something else entirely. or you can capitalize on that. I ended up feeling like i was doing production work and had to listen to stuff to keep me busy. That's how I found Leo. I never would have had the time to go deep into this stuff, to listen to The Power of Now on audio if i hadn't chosen this as a job. While in the flow of my work it was like I absorbed the information even better than if I was doing nothing.

Thank you.

This is the one I was trying to find.

And actually I hate talking about what I do because... well...

No I feel sorry that I never put more work into learning more advanced techniques in jewelry making. I just focused on glass. Blamed my kids for it, I couldn't work with the chemicals pregnant/breastfeeding, not having time or focus to learn an extra skill.

I bring such clarity to people. I'm starting to get a big head about it. This is the wizard I made for my carpenter's wife. Cause he's a wizard. Anyway that's what the jewelry looks like, just super simple, sterling silver.

I'm a package deal baby. Take it or leave it.

I don't know, can you tolerate me and my 80's music in your journal?

There's a box in a star bag that's for your wife. There's a box for you, it's something I made for another man who really helped me on my journey even if I thought his help was going backwards a lot of the time. I made it months ago. He described an object that he could look into that would make him feel better, make him feel at peace. So I made it, but I never found out a way to get it to him. I think that was for a reason. There's also a piece of copper than I took from Tom's house, and a piece of moss off his apple tree (probably wasn't supposed to mail that but oh well). I found that piece of copper in my jacket pocket that day, the day the bottom dropped out from under me, the day I denied myself and looked to the Tao to teach me how to go on. When I was in the woods and realizing it as Eden, I kept feeling that little piece of copper that had happened to have broken off the larger piece I brought home from that place.

I sent you a package Tsuki. It felt right.

Because the theme of my videos is spirituality, I do mine intuitively, lately completely spontaneously, but I'm going to be adding videos that will require more planning. Before when I planned all my videos I would wait to be inspired about a topic and then write out the main points. I would go over them really well before I started filming adding in anything that came to me, then I used my outline as a basic guide but tried to explore them more in depth while I was filming them. Things always came to me that I hadn't thought of. Try to post every week on the same day but when you're inspired to make extra videos go ahead. Creativity comes out of the space that can't be planned or forced so you have to try to balance it with the more practical work aspects of making a good video. Good luck! it's a really transformational thing because a lot of times you'll realize you don't believe the words that are leaving your mouth even though you used to believe them. Work on authenticity first then worry about the other things later.

What is your brain made from? Mostly water? Where did the water come from? Didn't Jesus and likely George Washington drink those particles and pee them out so they could be recycles and part of your brain? It's just a piece of meat, it's the energy that animates it. We are just energy, one energy, one interconnected thing/no thing. Your brain exists, but not in the way you think about it. Can you look yourself in the eyes without a mirror? Then how can the thinker think about itself?

We'll see. I can't go to the post office today anyway because I have the kids. It will feel right when it feels right.

That's funny I've been wearing my moon ring on my middle finger of my right hand too. Should I make something in ruby pink? We have a new color of glass that has finally bridged the missing pink color problem. It's only made in the US though. Watch out Italy and Germany.

That's really cool. I know a silversmith artist who does work a lot like that. That's a really pink shade of ruby though.

We all have the potential to do both good and bad. We can have good intentions and do harm. We can have bad intentions and do good. Whether we do bad or good depends on a judgement made from a certain perspective, looking at a certain point in time. To get it down to a judgement is to do mental gymnastics so twisted that there is no truth or lies anymore.

Wow. Is this whole thing like alternate realities colliding or something?

That is hilarious and awesome. Does she like moons?

I'm having a tough time because our styles are so very different, I'm trying to meet in the middle. Any of them you really like? I think I want to send one red and one green, ruby and emerald.

Yes, that would be really helpful I think. Going to embed what? They are beads with holes running through them, I can make into pendants once I pick one. They are made on steel mandrels, you rotate them in the flame to shape work and the glass by wrapping it around the steel mandrel. It's coated with something so the glass doesn't adhere, then you remove the beads from the mandrels and clean that out and you've got a bead.

@tsuki She doesn't make jewelry does she?

Swooooon. Tom Cruise in Top Gun. LOVE this song and have ever since I was a little girl.

This is truly one of my favorites.