snowyowl

Grand, in my diary. Actually I saw earlier in the thread that you had the awakening 2 years ago so feel free to tell me if it's already well integrated.

I admire that you're a rational guy who doesn't stand for waffle and nonsense even in spiritual discussions. So how about putting your mind to work getting a solid grounding in western philosophy, which goes into the different types of knowledge and truth. It might help clarify what type of truth you want, and how to approach it. You might have already got that, but it's something I found helpful in the past.

@Vladimir Thanks for your reply. I can't really dispute your claims, if I'm in a different bubble of consciousness to you. Let's just say I believe you that your bubble appears how you describe it; you seem to be happy with your awakening and if it's not hurting anyone else I'm not criticising. How about we bookmark this thread and revisit it in a few years to see how it integrates and pans out over time.

Yes it seems that way. The universe may be one Consciousness, but it's divided up into fragments some of which 'get it', and most don't. A Self-aware wave is still only a wave. So are we saying that the ocean as a whole isn't Self-aware and there's borders between awakened and non-awakened parts of it? In that case awakened people don't have omniscience, aren't aware of the consciousness of someone like me and there really are separate bubbles. For a complete awakening to occur, don't we all need to be part of it?

What I find hard to understand is how we have these experiences of nonduality, oneness or 'I am the universe' etc; then drop back into separateness with this appearance of us all being distinct bubbles of consciousness. If you really are the universe, and awakened, then you are also everyone else, and the whole universe is awake. So where's the need for saviours? Yet here I am with my problems and delusions. Are you and me the same being? If so, how come you're awake and I'm not? If you're not me, how can you be awakened?

Awesome And there's loads of women out there looking too. So it's half and half: you looking for them; and making yourself a good catch so they want you. Good luck man.

It's good to see you happy @Blackhawk Just focus on making each other happy and if you have a backlash then focus on making up. Otherwise try not to get anxious about backlashes, the anxiety will only make you more resistant to being in the now.

Well, there's lots of people who already think their religion should be the world religion (Christians, Muslims, Bahais, even atheists) but it's often done in a supremacist and imperialist way so is a big source of conflict and evil in itself. If you are thinking of a liberal non-creedal religion which respects all historical faiths there's the Unitarians (Unitarian Universalists in the USA) who're already doing that too. It sounds like you're rather giving up on the old religions to be able to educate their members in peace & order, why do you think they've failed? We need to learn what's gone wrong in the past so we don't repeat the mistakes. One possible reason is that folks can get very hung up on believing the exact correct thing, or practicing in the right way (a literalist view). And they rely too much on their scriptures as the revealed word of God, so any deviation from their version of God's word is necessarily wrong and/or evil, so feel the need to change other people to their approach. Also people conflate religion with community, meaning that the whole thing becomes tribal and there's favouritism towards members of your own religion and othering of everyone else.

Me too only talking from my own limited experience. If I knew the answer to all this I'd pack in my office job and get out there helping people with it

I'm open to that possibility, I don't know much about narcissism yet but probably need to find out. All I can say for sure is that certain situations result in physical symptoms of anxiety which have a disabling effect on my behaviour, such as my ability to engage in conversation and generally open up, because I'm in a state of fff (fight-flight-freeze response). It's completely subconscious so I'm not in control, I can't just switch it on or off. Although not nearly as bad now as it used to be, hence my recovery, although in reality it's only a partial recovery. Why am I like that? I can't remember any particular childhood trauma apart from perhaps a lack of parental presence (my parents did love me but were often absent having careers and then got divorced). Then there could be a genetic component, my dad suffered something similar as far as I can discover. But perhaps there is some narcissism passed on too, I'll have to look into that.

In my case (and after following @Blackhawk's threads over several years now, perhaps him too), I put the underlying cause down to social anxiety. Being stuck between the devil of inner loneliness and the deep blue sea of fear of social interaction. It's painful to be lonely but there's also a safety in being alone, compared with the anxiety of socialising. The horns of that dilemma create a stalemate which results in depression. Or maybe anxiety isn't the original root cause, it could be something genetic or childhood trauma causing the anxiety as a symptom. It could be linked to narcissism too, I don't know much about that I'll have to read the other thread.

@Breakingthewall @Blackhawk I can in a way, agree with both of you on this one. I used to be heavily depressed too and one thing which delayed my getting useful help was a doctor literally telling me to snap out of it and sort myself out. I just wasn't ready for that approach, was too embroiled in my suffering and not strong enough to pull up my own bootstraps. It took me a few more difficult years to go back to a doctor and ask for help again, luckily that time I got someone more attuned to where I was at. Eventually, after getting help from others I got to a point where I could start to help myself. If getting wasted means getting drunk, well yeah I can relate to wanting some escape from all the pain. But I don't recommend frequent drinking, it's likely to get you more depressed in the long run.

@Blackhawk ah I see. Well I hope you have a good night. I guess I'll be staying home too, I don't have a big social life either.

Sorry you're feeling down, yeah a good night out sounds a great idea. And if you can, try and leave the negativity behind so you can have some fun in the moment. It'll make you more attractive to women too. Can't you see that all those depressing thoughts create a downbeat aura which the women around you will pick up on and put them off. There's nothing wrong with a bit of philosophy, asking questions about the meaning of life & the universe etc. But when you're feeling depressed and can't climb out of it by yourself, there's no shame in asking for some professional help.

How are you feeling today bro? If you've got suicidal thoughts like this then please forget internet forums and get straight on the phone to your local emergency suicide helpline. Best wishes man. Assuming you are feeling ok today ... "This is my belief". Are you saying this from personal experience or is it just a belief? If it's from experience then you're saying that you have experienced being most happy. In which case yes life is full of ups and downs and by that logic the time to be free from worry is when you're most unhappy because things will be on the way up. Why should that be a cause of feeling suicidal? It reminds me of the Buddhist talk about impermanence. "Every conditioned phenomenon is impermanent". Including happiness and also unhappiness. There was a time in my life years ago when I was kind of drifting and unsure what to do. But I was into Buddhism and used to see monks and visit monasteries. I was even toying with the idea of becoming a monk myself. I was talking to this monk and he was explaining how, before he ordained, he experienced emotional highs and lows, how it was a cause of disturbance and suffering. Now, after being a monk for some years practising intense meditation & mindfulness the highs & lows had subsided and he was more on an even keel, in the middle without getting involved in any dramas going on around him. He was happy like that. I thought about that a lot afterwards and decided I didn't want that kind of life, without the ups and downs, having flat emotions all day long. I wanted to find some passion even if it meant the emotional crashes too. So I didn't become a monk, and carried on looking for my passion which I did eventually find in loving a woman, having a family and a career. As well as continuing my spiritual practice. But can't say I got as enlightened as that monk though ha ha! Maybe my story is no help for you but there are choices to make around whether to jump into the river of life to find your passion or whether to try and protect yourself from the emotional volatility and avoid the drama. No judgement either way, whatever works for your happiness.